DIVINE TRUTH

Forgiveness & Repentance

Divine Truth

Discover God’s Universal Truth and Receive God’s Love

(all information can be found at divinetruth.com)

Preface and Compilation by Pat Stewart

patdotstewart@gmail.com

25 January 2026

All compilations can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Front Cover Photo: NiklasErnst (pixabay.com)

Excerpt from the Divine Truth website on Intellectual Property

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Preface

This is an independent project undertaken by me and is not associated with Jesus & Mary and the Divine Truth Organization.

In this compilation, Jesus introduces the concept that true emotional processing revolves around two types of relationships, which he calls “Forgiveness” and “Repentance” relationships. Suffering has two primary causes surrounding the refusal to repent and forgive. Definition of forgiveness and repentance relationships.

In the homework session Jesus presents more information about forgiveness & repentance and uses examples from participants’ experiences.

The seminars used for this compilation are from the 2014 Assistance Group – An Introduction to Love – Forgiveness and Repentance Concepts:

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P1 – July 15, 2014

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P2 – July 15, 2014

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P3 – July 15, 2014

Homework – Forgiveness & Repentance – July 18, 2014

Other than parts of this Preface, I did not write any of the material in this book. All information came from the Divine Truth website (divinetruth.com).

Pat Stewart

patdotstewart@gmail.com

Table of Contents

Preface

Divine Truth Assistance Group Outline

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts

An Introduction To Love

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P1

1. Introduction

2. Emotional influences upon us during our childhood

2.1. Emotional damage to the unborn child from its parents

2.2. Emotional damage to the unborn child from the environment

2.3. Emotional damage to the child once it is born

3. Damage created by the adult child

3.1. Most damage created is towards its own children

3.2. It is unusual for adult children to damage their own parents

3.3. The next greatest damage is created within close relationships

3.4. Damage towards siblings

3.5. Damage to the environment

3.6. Damage created is due to the misuse of our will

3.7. Damage to the environment, ourselves, and others

4. Emotional flow between two people creates a relationship

4.1. An example of a participant who puts more energy into relationships with people she doesn't like

4.2. Asking questions based on an erroneous premise

5. Summary of damage caused to us and by us in relationships

6. Forgiveness and repentance relationships

6.1. Many people forgive those they should repent towards, and repent towards those who they should forgive

6.2. Damage towards God

6.3. Being in façade and addictions creates soul damage in ourselves and others

6.4. An example of a participant realising the damage her addictions are causing

7. The two primary causes of suffering are the refusal to repent and the refusal to forgive

7.1. The Law of Compensation demonstrates to us the need to repent and forgive

8. Audience questions

8.1. Forgiving others assists them

8.2. The distinction between repentance and guilt

8.3. The importance of seeing the truth, for repentance and forgiveness

8.4. Every unloving act that we've perpetrated, or has been perpetrated towards us, needs to be repented for or forgiven

8.5. Parents need to be forgiven by their children, rather than repented towards

9. Definition of forgiveness relationships

10. Audience questions

10.1. In general we need to repent for others attracted into our lives in adulthood who expose our unloving emotions

10.1.1. An example of a partner relationship

10.2. There is a sliding scale of unloving actions and feelings towards others

10.3. An example working through forgiveness towards a mother

11. The importance of truth and allowing emotional overwhelm for repentance and forgiveness

12. Definition of forgiveness relationships (continued)

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P2

13. Forgiveness relationships

13.1. An example of being raped as an adult

13.2. Forgetting is a method of denial

13.3. Forgiveness is an emotional forgetfulness

13.4. Suffering cannot cease until we forgive

14. Audience questions

14.1. An example of a participant feeling emotional in response to the discussion

15. Forgiveness relationships (continued)

15.1. Addiction relationships are created automatically when we refuse to forgive

15.2. Conditions under which addiction relationships are automatically created

16. Repentance relationships

16.1. Definition of repentance relationships

16.1.1. An example of damaging oneself to avoid personal pain

16.1.2. Repentance relationships usually begin after seven years of age

16.2. An example of repenting towards a cheating husband for attracting him

16.3. Forgiveness is immediate when we are at-one with God

16.4. The Divine Love Path is fair from God's perspective

16.5. An example of repenting towards a mother because of not forgiving a father

16.6. Receiving God's Love requires that we repent

16.7. Suffering cannot cease until we repent

16.8. Addictions are automatically created when we refuse to repent

16.8.1. An example of smacking children

16.9. An example of an emotionally absent father creating soul damage

17. Examples of forgiveness and repentance relationships

17.1. An example of the family dynamic of a participant who doesn't trust women

17.1.1. The mother and father have a violent relationship

17.1.2. The father establishes a co-dependent relationship with his youngest daughter, the participant

17.1.3. The mother is jealous of her youngest daughter, the participant

17.1.4. The participant develops an addiction to being superior

17.1.5. The mother grooms her other daughters' unloving behaviour towards the participant

17.1.6. The participant and her sisters need to forgive their parents

17.1.7. The participant's attractions with women and men in her adult life

17.1.8. The participant and her sisters need to forgive their parents (continued)

17.2. An example of a participant repenting for damage caused by his pandering to women

17.2.1. The participant is groomed as a surrogate husband by his mother during childhood

17.2.2. The participant marries a woman whom he panders to

17.2.3. The participant teaches his sons that they need to please women

17.2.4. The participant needs to forgive his mother

17.2.5. The participant's wife needs to work through issues about wanting men to pander to her

17.2.6. The participant needs to forgive his mother (continued)

18. Closing words

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P3

19. Repentance is linked to forgiveness

19.1. We can't go through repentance without eventually forgiving someone

19.2. Feeling our painful emotions prevents damage to ourselves and others

19.3. The importance of repentance in partner relationships

20. Audience questions

20.1. Starting at repentance when we can't remember what to forgive

20.2. The difference between self-punishment and repentance

20.3. Identifying our emotional holes leads us to our hurt

20.4. The importance of seeing the truth about our parents

21. The importance of understanding who to forgive and who to repent towards, for rapid soul growth

21.1. An analogy of removing cactus spikes

22. Audience questions

22.1. The importance of truth in forgiveness and repentance

22.2. An example of a participant who has more injuries relating to men than women

22.2.1. Focusing on addictions with men

22.2.2. Addictions created in the participant's son

23. Homework

23.1. Focusing on emotional holes

24. Audience questions

24.1. An example of a participant being slapped by a woman

25. Homework (continued)

25.1. Actions taken in the façade self to avoid the hurt self's emotional experience

25.1.1. An example of a participant's relationship with her sons

26. Audience questions

26.1. An example of a participant needing to get help from his mother

27. Becoming self-responsible to find our own emotional answers

Repentance & Forgiveness In Practice Outline

Forgiveness & Repentance Homework

1. Forgiveness and repentance relationships

1.1. Repentance and forgiveness are for our own sake

1.1.1. Expecting others to forgive or repent is out of harmony with love

1.2. We need to repent towards people we have been angry towards

1.3. A scale of progress in repentance and forgiveness

1.4. Feeling anger as part of the process of forgiveness

2. An example of a participant, Laura, and her forgiveness and repentance relationships

2.1. Laura’s family dynamics during her childhood

2.1.1. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her parents

2.1.2. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her brother who sexually abused her

2.1.3. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with herself for creating addictions at others' insistence

2.2. Laura’s relationship dynamics during her adulthood

2.2.1. Laura’s repentance relationship with herself for attracting abusive partners

2.2.2. Laura’s repentance relationship with her non-abusive partner and her child

2.2.3. Repentance is only necessary for unloving actions

2.2.4. Laura’s repentance relationship with herself for not feeling her hurt

2.2.5. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her abusive partners

2.2.6. Examining attractions to identify where forgiveness is required

3. Repentance and forgiveness in parent-child relationships

3.1. An example of Laura's relationship with her daughter

3.2. The two areas of damage towards a child that require repentance

4. Audience questions

4.1. Taking responsibility for investigating truth as an adult

5. Repentance and forgiveness relationships (continued)

5.1. A scale of progress in repentance and forgiveness (continued)

5.2. An example of a participant who was bullied as a teenager

6. Feelings determine whether repentance or forgiveness is required

6.1. Becoming more emotionally sensitive to assess feelings

6.2. Feeling through emotions when they arise in an interaction

6.3. Speaking up with truth depends upon the situation

6.4. How God treats us depends on the situation

6.5. Speaking up with truth depends upon the situation (continued)

6.6. The importance of feeling to engage the Way

6.7. Being honest about our current feelings about engaging the Way

6.8. Identifying and feeling emotional blockages

7. Closing words

Resources

Other compilation books can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Divine Truth Assistance Group Outline

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts

Introduction

'Emotional processing' of the wrong emotions

One of the biggest problems we have is self-deception with emotions

Attempting to 'experience' an emotion that is preferable, rather than the actual emotion

Self-deception emotions will not result in progression since these emotions are not the Absolute Truth about our lives

Self-deception emotions are dangerous, in that they can cause further soul damage

Truthful 'emotional processing' revolves around two types of relationships:

1.      The relationships where others or we ourselves have treated us unlovingly from God's viewpoint, and which resulted in causal soul-based injuries within ourselves, which we must learn to forgive

2.      The relationships where we have treated others, or ourselves at the insistence of others, unlovingly from God's viewpoint, and which resulted in causal soul based injuries in others and ourselves, for which we must learn to repent for

Revision Of Basic Principles

Revision of our 'Three Selves'

The real self - that God created in Love

The hurt self - that the environment, and our own choices created out of harmony with Love

The façade self - that the environment, and our own choices created out of harmony with Love to avoid both of the above

Revision of emotion

All progression is progression in feelings of love

For true progression in love (Natural Love or God's Love) to occur unloving emotions must be released

The soul cannot have a loving emotion and an unloving emotion exist within it on the same subject at the same time

Releasing unloving emotions that are 'causal' will automatically allow our progression Experiencing and acting upon other non-causal emotions will be circular, and will not allow progression, and often can harm the condition of our soul further

Progression toward God

Progression towards God involves:

Having a pure, sincere, desire and longing for God's Love

Having a pure, sincere, desire and longing for God's Truth

Having a pure, sincere, desire and longing to be humble

We must come to see ourselves as God sees us, and see the Truth as God sees it

We must do this in our personal life in four areas:

Desiring to know the Absolute Truth regarding the universe

Desiring to know the Absolute Truth about ourselves

Desiring to Love God

Desiring to Love everything God has created, including ourselves

Suffering Has Two Primary Causes

The refusal to repent:

This occurs when we have been unloving towards others or ourselves, which created pain, which we then denied or suppressed, and the Law of Compensation is operating upon our soul to correct our own unloving actions because we refuse to repent.

The refusal to forgive:

This occurs when others have been unloving towards ourselves, or we have been unloving towards ourselves at the request or insistence of others, which created pain, which we then denied or suppressed, and the Law of Compensation is operating upon our soul to correct our response to others' unloving actions because we refuse to forgive.

Forgiveness Relationships

Definition of 'forgiveness' relationships

A relationship with another person who caused our pain from God's perspective by being unloving to us during our childhood or any time during our life

A relationship with another person who suppressed our pain from God's perspective by being unloving to us during our childhood or any time during our life

A relationship with ones self where we purposefully or unknowingly chose to punish ourselves at the emotional request of others because of the pain or perceived pain others claim we caused them

ALL of these kinds of relationships usually begin at conception and continue throughout our life Most of these relationships are well established during our childhood

Receiving God's Love requires I forgive others or myself for our unloving choices

Suffering cannot cease until I forgive others or myself for our unloving choices

Addiction relationships

Addiction relationships are created automatically when we:

Refuse to forgive the persons who actually created our pain

Refuse to forgive the persons who suppressed our pain

Refuse to forgive ourselves for the punishment we inflicted on ourselves

Refuse to feel our own pain from these relationships

When we refuse to forgive, we automatically create addiction relationships in order to:

Avoid our personal pain

Avoid our personal suppression of pain

Avoid healing our tendency to punish ourselves for the harm we have inflicted on others

Substitute pleasure for pain

Repentance Relationships

Definition of 'repentance' relationships

A relationship with another person who we caused pain to by involving them in our addictions in order to avoid our own pain

A relationship with another person who we suppressed by forcing them, coercing them, or manipulating them in any way into meeting our addictions to avoid our own pain

A relationship with one self where we purposefully or unknowingly engaged in harm to ourselves in order to avoid the personal pain resulting from our own unloving choices

These kinds of relationships begin as we develop the use of our own will to sin (take unloving actions)

These kinds of relationships usually begin after the developmental phase of our childhood (7 yrs) & extend into adulthood

Receiving God's Love requires I repent for my unloving choices towards others or myself

Suffering cannot cease until I repent for my unloving choices

Addiction relationships

Addiction relationships are created automatically when we:

Refuse to repent towards the persons who we created pain for

Refuse to repent towards the persons we suppressed

Blame others for our own pain

When we refuse to repent, we create addiction relationships in order to:

Avoid our personal pain

Avoid our personal suppression of pain

Avoid healing our tendency to punish ourselves for the harm we have inflicted on others

Substitute pleasure for pain

Repentance Is Linked To Forgiveness

Hurt was created by others

We were taught to suppress or deny the hurt created by others

This caused us to refuse to forgive (experience the hurt emotionally) any hurt created by others

Since we still hurt, we created façade & addictions to numb and deny the hurt, and to fill the hole within us that the hurt created

In our choice to avoid hurt by creating addictions & façade we used our addiction and façade to hurt others

We denied, minimized, justified or otherwise blamed others in order to ignore the fact that we were hurting others

We denied minimized, justified or otherwise blamed others for the reasons why we chose to hurt others

Since we have hurt others through our own choice, we have done things for which we need to repent for, which will be an even more emotionally painful process than forgiving, AS WELL AS still needing to emotionally forgive the original hurt by feeling the original hurt

How Do I Forgive?

First emotionally recognize, experience & feel ALL of the addictions and façade which others or we created within us to avoid our emotional response to others or ourselves hurting us

Then emotionally recognize the full extent of the truth about the damage done to us by others or ourselves

Then emotionally experience & feel ALL of the emotions associated with the hurt within ourselves as a result of the damage

This is a reversal of the process of the way others or we chose to hurt us!

How Do I Repent?

First emotionally recognize, experience & feel ALL of the addictions and façade which we or others created to avoid our own hurt

Then emotionally experience & feel ALL of the damage we did to others or ourselves while in our addictions and façade

Then emotionally experience & feel ALL the emotions associated with the reasons why we made the choice to hurt others or ourselves rather than feel our own original hurt

Then recognize & emotionally experience & feel all of the feelings of hurt which we created in others & ourselves due to our choices to avoid our own original hurt

Then we need to follow the forgiveness process! Forgiveness cannot be avoided!

This is a reversal of the process of the hurt we chose to create in others or ourselves!

Examples

e.g. A female who's father avoided her & spent no time with her when she was young. She entered relationships with men whom she could control, and they would make her feel wanted.

The forgiveness relationship is with her dad (She must forgive his disinterest in her), and the repentance relationships are those that she chose in her addictions (She must repent towards those who she used to avoid forgiveness with her dad).

If she blames her partners for their behaviour, and desires their repentance when really she is the one who needs to repent for what she created, then all she is doing is harming other people in her addiction, which causes more soul damage to herself.

e.g. A male who grew up with a mother who was always afraid, so he learned that the best way for him to act around a woman is to save the woman from her own fear and pain. He entered relationships with women that he had to rescue from fear, to protect, and make them safe.

The forgiveness relationship is that with his mother (he must forgive her requirement that he do something about her fear), and the repentance relationships are those that he chose in his addictions (he must repent towards the partners whom he used to avoid forgiveness with his mother).

If he blames his partners for their behaviour, and desires their repentance when really he is the one who needs to repent for what he created, then all he is doing is harming other people in his addiction, which causes more soul damage to himself.

e.g. A female who's father made her very frightened and unsafe. She attracted a male relationship with a person whom she did not wish to open her heart to because she was afraid. She gave birth to a male child. She wanted this male child to look after her and make her feel safe. Eventually her son became angry with her, and he now drinks and takes drugs. She feels offended by her son’s anger, and upset by his drug taking, and she believes that he needs to repent towards her.

The forgiveness relationship is that with her dad (she must forgive him for his emotional violence towards her), and the repentance relationships are those that she chose in her addictions (she must repent towards her partner, whom she expected to make her safe, and her son, whom she has used to make her feel safe).

If she blames her partner for his behaviour, and desires his repentance when really she is the one who needs to repent for what she created, then all she is doing is harming her partner in her addiction, which causes more soul damage to herself. If she blames her son for getting angry with her, when she has purposefully attempted to manipulate him and used him as a means of avoiding her own pain, which is the primary reason he has turned to substance abuse, then all she is doing is still wanting her addiction met by her son, and further damaging her own soul and the soul of her son. The son's personal choice towards addiction is primarily caused by the mother's treatment of him, and so therefore it is hypocritical for her to get angry with her son when she is a primary cause of her son's addictions.

Conclusion

Progress Towards God cannot be undertaken without Forgiveness and Repentance

I must forgive actual harm (from God's perspective) done by others to myself or others

I must repent actual harm (from God's perspective) done by myself to myself or others

I must forgive actual harm (from God's perspective) done by myself to myself

I cannot repent for things I need to forgive, or forgive things I need to repent for

The actual emotional reasons for the behaviour must be felt in order for forgiveness & repentance to occur

An Introduction To Love

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P1

1. Introduction

Jesus: What I'm going to talk to you about now, is to do with what I would classify as relationship issues, but I'm going to call them "Forgiveness and Repentance relationships." I'm going to focus you, firstly, on the concepts of forgiveness and repentance, and secondly, I'm going to focus you on putting it into practice in your day-to-day life, and what things you're going to have to be careful of, if you're ever going to put it into practice. The first session will be all about the concepts, and the second will be all about the practice.

If I can give you a little bit of background: firstly, in my two thousand years of observation, I have not yet seen a person from the Earth who understands these concepts. Now I began to understand these concepts around fifteen years of age in the first century, because I understood them through observation. I was observing the interrelationships in my family, my family's relationships with other families, particularly where my mother grew up, which was around Nazareth.

Obviously there was extended family in that location, and you could see all of these interrelationships occurring. It was a fascinating area to just observe and study. What I observed through the process, was that most people didn't actually have a logical interaction with any other person. What they did was, they carried a whole heap of baggage into the interaction with the other person, that completely coloured the interaction they had with this new individual.

When I observed what would be logical to have as an interaction, it never occurred. All that occurred was all of these addictive, facade-based interactions, that were driven by the past hurt that was unresolved within the individual. They drew the hurt into the next interaction, and nobody even knew they were doing that. They thought what they were doing was logical, but it was very illogical. It is very illogical.

That's what I have observed in every single person I've ever met from Earth. Every single person does that. They drag this old baggage into this new interaction, and then they say that the new interaction was a logical interaction. It cannot be, in fact.

Then I started pondering how this needs to be repaired, what needs to be done to stop that from happening, what actions, what things we can do to stop this problem, that we keep pulling in our history into the next established communication we have, with whomever.

That applies to the communication, or the interactions we have with the environment. It applies to the interactions we have with each person. It applies to the interactions we have with our children. It applies to the interactions we have with spirits. We're dragging this baggage into every interaction. That's when I started to realise the importance of repentance and forgiveness in our day-to-day life.

What I would like to do is describe to you what happens in your relationships now, and compare that with what would happen if there was no history baggage in these same relationships. So let's do that, shall we?

2. Emotional influences upon us during our childhood

Jesus: Now as you're growing up, who are the primary influences upon you?

Participant Female: Mum and dad, but also the environment, like, for me, close friends.

Jesus: Let's start with mum and dad.

Participant Female: That's if you've got a mum and dad, because if you're an orphan it's probably going to be someone else.

Jesus: Okay, so it will also be members of your environment. I'll just put up "parents," and then I will draw other people, and we will call them "environment." They are the primary influences.

Participant Female: I don't know if they're included, but spirits. Is that your environment? Or are they different?

Jesus: Yes, I would include them. They are people, so let's include spirits. You see, too many times, too many of you at this point of time are still thinking of spirits as some special people.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: They're just people. They just don't have the physical body. You just can't see them. That's the only difference, so they're still a part of your environment.

Of course we could extend that even further, couldn't we? We could go into culture, family tree, society, government, religion; all of those things do actually form a part of your formative years in your environment. Many of our damages also come from those entities. They're not a physical entity like one person, but they're a collection of people which all have an opinion or an idea.

So can we have another set of people, and just call them "groups"? Those groups form entities almost in their own right. Sometimes they are working groups where they do work. Sometimes they are religious, they are society, the government, professions, and so forth. They form a formative part in our childhood years.

Individuals who influence a child (girl, centre) during their upbringing

Here we are, a child, and we're growing up in this large collection of people, individuals, who all have emotional injuries. They all have a real self, a facade self, and a hurt self. They all have a collection of good things about them, and things that are what we would classify as unloving, or even downright evil, a collection of all of those things.

2.1. Emotional damage to the unborn child from its parents

Jesus: Now, emotions start flowing into this child, right from the moment the child is conceived. Of course ,the mother is the primary carrier of the child from the time of conception to the time of birth, so whose primary feelings are going to start entering the child first, do you think? The mother, yes. We first get an inflow of emotions ‒ we will call it error, or damage ‒ going into the child from the mother during the gestation period, while the mother is carrying the child.

Of course, the father also has feelings, and if the mother is open to receiving those feelings, and that's a fairly big "if," but if the mother is open to receiving those feelings, then those feelings can pass through the soul of the mother and into the soul of the child, so the father's feelings flow through in that direction into the child, if the mother is open to those feelings.

Emotional injuries (shown by red arrows) flow from the mother into her child, and from the father into the child via the mother, during pregnancy

For example, in society in the first century, the mothers generally had a fairly low opinion of themselves, because they were taught from a very young age that the men were more important than women. That mother would have had a belief that she is a woman, so therefore she is of a lower stature than her husband.

In the first century, that means that, if this were a girl child, she would have automatically absorbed that lower opinion from her mother. She would be born with the idea or concept, emotionally, that she also, because she is a girl, is not as important as a boy. That just gives you one example of how that happens.

2.2. Emotional damage to the unborn child from the environment

Jesus: Now of course, while the child is in the womb, we also have the environment, and whatever the mother accepts as an emotion from the environment, flowing into the child. We also have all these groups, and whatever the mother accepts as her belief systems from these groups, they all flow into the child, because the mother's soul is the only thing providing a protective barrier between the flow of emotion into her child. All of these things flow into the child.

Emotional injuries (shown by red arrows) flow from the environment into the child through the mother, during pregnancy

Now, as mothers, can you start seeing how important it is that you deal with your emotional condition? It has a large effect on the child. By the time the child is born, all of these things have already happened.

2.3. Emotional damage to the child once it is born

Jesus: So the child is born. The child is now outside of the soul of its mother. The child is now starting to learn and develop itself. All of these things that were flowing through the mother now flow into the child directly, through the interactions the child has with the environment. Now we've got the environment flowing into the child directly. We've got the groups that we mentioned, flowing into the child directly. Father's opinion flowing into the child directly, and of course, still, the mother's opinion, which the child would be most open to in its early, formative years, will flow into the child directly.

Again, can you see, mothers, if you don't understand the truth and you don't believe it, and you don't have an emotional condition accepting the truth, then of course a lot of the errors of the children will be based around your errors? So it's a fairly big responsibility, motherhood.

What can we say is happening to this child? From the time of conception it’s getting emotional damage. We called that, the day before yesterday, the "hurt." The child is receiving the hurt. Of course its real self, the real self that God created, is still there, but now there's all this hurt being absorbed. Then on top of that, the mother has facades, the father has facades, society has facades, groups have facades, and so what's happening? All of these facades are also getting created from the time of conception onwards.

So now there's also now a facade self being developed, is there not? Here's the dynamic.

Damage to the child creates its hurt and facade self

Now, at this stage, where is most of this damaging part of ourselves coming from?

Participant Female: From everyone else.

Jesus: From everyone else. In other words, the child has not yet developed its will. It's still a baby, at this point. It's been born, but it's still a baby. It can't even choose to walk at this stage. It can't even do something damaging to itself really, without somebody else being involved in the damage.

The child learns to walk. Now what's starting to happen, is the child is now starting to make choices and decisions. Initially those choices and decisions are very unformed, aren't they? The child might be one year of age, learning to walk, and all that it cares about is walking and picking up things and tasting them, and smelling them, and all of that kind of stuff, just developing some of the sensory apparatus that the child is going to need, in order to absorb the Universe in which it lives. At this point, it's now starting to make decisions, but they're all very rudimentary decisions. They're all very basic decisions, and very few of them are emotional in their nature.

But by the time the child gets to two, or two and a half, what's happening? The child's now starting to act upon some of its hurt, and act upon some of its facade. What do we call that period nowadays on Earth? We call that the "terrible two's." Most parents have heard of that. The reason why we do that, is that we know that by this stage the child is now starting to have some formative development of its own will, and is now still quite largely responding to the emotional hurt from its parents, and the facade of its parents, many times reflecting that facade back at the parents.

In other words, the child is going through a process, where it’s trying to tell the parents from an emotional perspective what's wrong with the parents, and of course most parents completely ignore that, because there's nothing wrong with them, is there? It's always the child. You know, the child is screaming all the time; "It's not our fault." The child's acting up all the time. The child is hitting other kids all the time. "That's not our fault either. We're just nice, peaceful people." So we ignore it all when the child acts out many of these stages.

During this process, what's happening? The child is formulating its will, and now starting to act upon its will. Now the child is starting to pick up damage from where? From what source?

Participant Female: Now, from itself.

Jesus: From itself. So now there's a cycle of damage where it tries to do some damage in the environment, and of course there's also this cycle where every bit of that damage comes back upon itself. Okay.

Once the child develops its own will, it starts to create damage towards itself

By the time the child is seven, eight, nine, ten, and it depends a lot upon the force that the parents in particular have used upon the child as to when this change or transition occurs, by the time the child's up to fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, it's now probably trying to live a fair bit of its own life. It just depends on what the parents do, as to when that age will be. It will be somewhere between the age of five or six, to the age of twenty. For some people it's the age of forty, because they're still living at home, and still haven't really gotten rid of a lot of the reliance on their parents, but it's a slow developing of their will, if you like.

3. Damage created by the adult child

Jesus: So that's the process. I've talked about that process before a bit, so you know that process. How does all that relate to repentance and forgiveness? Well let's go one step even further. Let's say the child is now in its twenties. The child is now an adult, it's got its own work, its own job, it might even be married. It might even have children of its own now. What does the child do? The child has a fairly formed will at this point and the child is now acting out that will, so now the damage isn't all just going into the child anymore.

Let's draw another set of flow of damage, in a different colour. The black lines coming out of this child, who is now an adult, are what it does damage to. It starts doing some damage to the environment. If it has children of its own, it starts doing damage to those children, because of the choices that it's making out of harmony with love. It does, usually, damage to groups.

3.1. Most damage created is towards its own children

Jesus: But who and what is the primary amount of damage that it finishes up doing, do you think?

Participant Female: To itself?

Jesus: Yes, it does, but that's not the primary problem. If it was only damaging itself it would probably be quite good in a way, but that's not what's happening.

Participant Female: To its children.

Jesus: To its children. That's where it's doing its primary damage. Yes.

Once the child is an adult, it starts inflicting damage to others (shown by black lines), in particular its children

3.2. It is unusual for adult children to damage their own parents

Jesus: Then where is it doing the rest of it, the main damage? Where is it doing that, do you think?

Participant Male: To its parents, isn't it?

Jesus: No. Most of the time most people won't damage their parents at all actually.

Participant Male: Oh, okay.

Jesus: Did you know that? You might rebel against them, but you won't damage them. Why is that, do you think? Why is it that you don't do much damage to your parents? Any ideas?

Participant Female: Because they've already got the injuries that you have, that you give back to them?

Jesus: Correct. You've already absorbed a lot of their injuries, so you already believe a lot of the things that they believe. You already do a lot of the things they do. You already have the facade that they created, so it's highly unlikely that you will do much damage to your parents actually, for the rest of your life.

The only time that you do some damage the rest of your life, is when you go into a huge amount of rebellion and rage, and then murder them or do something like that to them, physically or emotionally. That is taking out your rebellion and rage on them. That's obviously going to damage your soul; then you probably damage your parents. But aside from that, most of the time we don't even damage them at all.

3.3. The next greatest damage is created within close relationships

Jesus: Who are the other groups?

Participant Female: Would it be their partner, and their close relationships?

Jesus: Yes. Our close relationships. We could lump all that together. They're not our children, but we're talking about every other p[[close relationship. Any relationship we have with a partner, any close friends that we have, all of those kinds of relationships, shall we say? That's where the primary piece of damage is going to be. We'll call those, "our relationships," and this person now starts harming the relationships. That's where that starts doing damage.

Most damage (indicated by black lines) from adults is towards their own children (lower right), and people with whom they are in close relationships (lower left)

3.4. Damage towards siblings

Participant Female: What about if you are one of the older children? What about your younger brothers and sisters?

Jesus: Well, most of your belief systems as an older child were developed by your parents, and so when you start damaging your younger brothers and sisters, then usually it's acting out damage that your parents have already put upon you, so you could say, in the long run, that most of that damage actually comes from your parents, rather than from you.

Participant Male: What if I was a teenager though, at the time, when I had more free will?

Jesus: Of course, then you're starting to do it. But even then, a lot of it was done because you were already predisposed to act that way towards them, because your parents probably allowed it in your younger life, or created a dynamic in your younger life, so even a lot of that is partially the responsibility of the parent. Not fully of course, because you're developing your will. Anything that you act out of harmony with your will is going to be attributable to you.

Participant Male: I’m thinking about my little sister, who has Down syndrome and some autism.

Jesus: Yes, for a person who has Down's or autism, or something like that, then she is mostly acting out the feelings of her parents. She is still like an undeveloped child, and so therefore she's really spending most of her time just acting out the damage of her parents.

3.5. Damage to the environment

Jesus: Now of course it's not just people we can damage, is it? The way God has created the Universe is: because God made us as the highest of all God's creations, that meant that God automatically placed us in a position of domination, potentially, over the other of God's creations. Now of course, if we loved we probably wouldn't dominate those creations, but unfortunately we don't love, and so what we finish up doing is a lot of power-based damage to the other parts of God's creation. All of that is also damage that's going to enter our soul.

So there's damage that we also do to the environment that hasn't got people in it. There's a huge amount of that, that goes on in this planet, isn't there? A huge amount. Most of us are totally unaware of how much, actually. Most of us come to what we think is a pristine environment and say, "Oh, this is so beautiful," and yet if you could see it four, five, six hundred years ago you wouldn't say it's that beautiful now. You would say, "Oh, this is pretty damaged," because we only have a snapshot of seventy or eighty years on this Earth. In that time we can't measure the full extent of the choices we have made. That's a fact.

3.6. Damage created is due to the misuse of our will

Participant Female: Wouldn't the damage that my children do to the environment have come through from the parent's beliefs and teachings?

Jesus: Well it depends what age, doesn't it? If they did damage to the environment when they were two, or three, or four, or five, then yes; of course, all of that damage probably comes from your ideas or concepts. But if they are doing damage when they're thirty-five, well now how much of it is attributable to the use of their will, and their lack of self-reflection, and their lack of honesty with themselves, and all of these other lacks that they've developed in themselves over their life, and how much of it is attributable to you? Well obviously it's a sliding scale down, isn't it? The older the child gets, the more removed it becomes from its parents, the less influential its parents become on the child, and so therefore the child's actions are more attributable to themselves.

Participant Female: Yes. So even if I've taught them something that's really unloving, to others or to the environment, ultimately they're using their own free will to make their own choices?

Jesus: Eventually, yes. They are using their own free will to make their own choices. This is why I keep saying to you, you can't blame your parents for everything you've chosen to do. I've seen people who've been abused, not abuse other people, not try to hurt other people. I know plenty of people in the spirit world who have been terribly abused when they were on Earth, and now they don't do any abuse whatsoever. They're all loving with everybody. That's the exercise of their will.

Remember, on Saturday it was, when Mary did her talk, I emphasised to you afterwards the point of the will, how powerful it is. It's more powerful than anything you can imagine. It's far more powerful than any damage you have, so you can undo any damage you have through the exercise of your will, in a certain direction.

Participant Male: So I'd really then, if I was sincere, want to be focusing on a lot of my behaviour, especially since becoming an adult, like a late teenager and into my adult years, and all of those close relationships and relationships with my children, and stuff that I've had?

Jesus: Correct. It's very powerful to do that.

Participant Male: That's what I've got the most resistance to doing.

Jesus: Exactly, and that's what everybody has the most resistance to doing, as you will see as we go through this discussion. You know it's not, as you saw already in the three days that we've already presented, what were your most resistive talks? The Facade Self, which is very adult, and all of your addictions, which are very adult. What does that tell you? Mostly we don't want to come to terms with what we have done to others, when we have had the choice to do something different. We don't want to do that, and most of our soul damage is caused by the choices we make, and what we've done to others.

I gave a talk many years ago, I think six years ago now, and I listed the order in which most of us process emotionally. The very last things we do, generally, is look at what we did to others. In my opinion, it should be the first thing we look at, but it's usually the last thing we look at. We have very much a victim mentality where we only look at what others did to us, and think it's terrible, it's shocking. So bad. But we don't look at what we do to others.

3.7. Damage to the environment, ourselves, and others

Jesus: So now, in brown, we can call that "damage to self". But it's a special type of damage to self, based upon "non-soul-based creatures," can we call them that? Non-soul-based creatures. In other words, I do damage to the environment. There is a penalty on the soul for doing that ‒ on my soul, but there's not necessarily a penalty on somebody else's soul.

Damage perpetrated by adults is towards the environment as well as other people, and causes damage in the adult themselves

That's not always the case, of course, because you can do damage to the environment and stop a hundred thousand people from eating. That's going to cause some damage to you too, because now it's affected the human souls of other people. Some damage to the environment is so extreme that there's a huge penalty upon the soul, as a result of the choices that you've made to do it, because it affects so many other people, and their souls, and causes them pain. It causes them suffering, and it was a direct choice of your will, so of course it's going to cause damage to your own soul.

So we've got a bit of an idea of where all the damage is coming from. As we've seen over the last few days, we're quite okay looking at the real self; when I say "quite okay," most of us have got no awareness of our real self, but we like to hear about it. When it comes to our hurt self, most of us are very, what I would classify as self-absorbed and narcissistic, and so what we finish up doing is going, "Yes, I was hurt." Once we admit to ourselves we were hurt we go, "Yes, I was hurt, and yes, everyone else is terrible to me. But me, no, I'm innocent. I'm innocent."

Then there's also the fact that generally parents blame children, which is an issue, isn't it? Usually parents blame children for the way the parents treated the children, and so then the child ends up growing up believing that it deserves to be hurt, when the reality is that it didn't deserve it.

So we have a lot of dynamics that are quite difficult to unravel. But that's the general scheme of things in terms of how things happen in terms of our environment.

4. Emotional flow between two people creates a relationship

Jesus: Now what I'm going to do is talk to you about the relationship side of that, specifically, because remember, any soul-to-soul interaction is a relationship. Even if you hate someone, you are actually having a relationship with them. Did you get that? Even if you hate them, you are having a relationship with them. The reason you are having a relationship, is that an emotion inside of you is flowing out of you into that person, and there might be a corresponding emotion coming out of them towards you. That is a relationship. From God's perspective the flow of emotion between two people is the relationship.

Now I'm talking about all those people with whom you have a flow of emotion, a flow of feeling between you and another.

4.1. An example of a participant who puts more energy into relationships with people she doesn't like

Participant Female: Is it true to say we've got the strongest connection with someone we resent, because when we resent someone we think about them, and like, a resentment is a tie to someone?

Jesus: Can I talk about one of your addictions, just briefly? You want to make a whole rule for everything. Can't you just let my statement be? We have a relationship with everyone, and some of your relationships, the most powerful, are love-based relationships, I feel. But there are very powerful hate-based relationships too, and that's almost the complete opposite. It's evil that's being transmitted between the two. Of course they are strong relationships, but I wouldn't classify them necessarily as the strongest. Why would you believe they are the strongest?

Participant Female: Just because I felt that when you like someone, or you have good feelings about them, you don't think about them, or put energy into them. Whereas when you resent ...

Jesus: What? What did you just say? You say it again.

Participant Female: When you like ...

Jesus: When you love someone.

Participant Female: Not love a partner.

Jesus: This is what you just said, "When you love someone you don't really put that much energy into them." What?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: I suggest you've never loved anybody if that's the way you feel. A person that you love, you put the most energy into, in fact. I'd strongly consider whether you've ever loved anybody, making a statement like that. The reality is, most of us are driven by fear. We are, so we put most of our energy into fear-based relationships. We do, but all that does is prove that we've never loved anybody, because when you truly love someone that's where all of your energy, the majority of your energy, goes. Nowhere else. When you truly love someone that's where it goes. So I would never say a comment like you've just made.

Participant Female: I did kind of mean when you like people. Like friends, not love of a partner.

Jesus: No you didn't. You said what your soul feels. Allow it to be. You said, the statement you made, was that you don't put much energy into love-based relationships, and the reality is, you don't. If you look at your day-to-day life, you don't. You spend most of your time worrying, and concerned about the people who don't like you.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You don't put most of your time into being worried and concerned about the people who do like you.

Participant Female: That's true.

Jesus: That's true, isn't it? Your statement was a statement of truth about yourself, but it's also a statement of truth about the fact that you've never really loved, because if you really love you wouldn’t do that. You wouldn't put all your energy into someone you don't love. You would put all your energy into someone you do.

Why do we put all of our energy into someone we don't like? Because we want their approval to get them back into liking us, and then when they like us again, where does our energy go? Oh, not to them anymore because they already like us. We don't have to worry about them.

Now that's not what you do when you love. That's called a co-dependent barter. That's totally different to love. When you love, you put huge amounts of energy into that person. That's where your primary focus is. That's the way it is. It's always going to be that way.

The majority of us don't love. The majority of us are concerned about all the things where people don't like us, or where people are upset with us, or they don't approve of us, all those kinds of things. As a result, we finish up putting all of our energy there. Yes?

Participant Female: Yes.

4.2. Asking questions based on an erroneous premise

Jesus: Can I state that sometimes in questions that I get, there is so much error in the question that it would take me an hour to answer the question. What we've been finding in our Frequently Asked Questions, is that there's so much error in the actual premise of the question, that we've got to undo all the errors of the assumptions that are made in the actual question, before I can actually answer the question. This is because most of us have no idea what the truth is about love, or any other thing, and so we're asking questions based upon our facade, our addictions, all of the hurt and errors inside of us, rather than asking a very clear question. The main reason we do that, is that we are unable to have clarity about love in our current condition.

People laugh at me when I have to give an hour answer for what seemed to be a very simple question, but sometimes what else can I do? I've got to undo all of the unloving premises, and undo all of the untruth in the question itself. Once I've done that, then I can answer the question.

You will find that's happening a lot on our Frequently Asked Questions channel. One question we think, "Oh, that could be a two minute answer for that one. Yes, or no," sometimes. I go, "Oh, this question's got so many bad assumptions in it, I've got to address all of them before I can say the answer to the question is, "Yes."

5. Summary of damage caused to us and by us in relationships

Jesus: Okay. Now we're dealing specifically with relationships. There is the relationship we have with the two people who have primarily influenced our life, particularly if we've lived with them most of our formative years ‒ our parents. Then there's the relationship we have with the children that we may have had. Then there are the relationships which are our primary relationships. If we look at that, that's going to be our partner, or partners nowadays, more than partner, isn't it?

Then there are our friendships, and we will have both male and female friendships, most probably, depending on the damage that we've had from our parents. There are those groups of people as well, with whom we have a relationship, the people we primarily have relationships with ‒ acquaintances and friends. This would also, nowadays, include people like work colleagues, workmates, friends, acquaintances, the kinds of people we spend a bit of time with.

Participant Male: If we don't have children, is that an actual benefit?

Jesus: Well, let's have a look at what's going on, shall we?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Okay. Isn't it true, there has been damage that has primarily come ... In this group of people, where has the primary damage come from?

Participant Female: Our mother?

Jesus: Well, it's really our mother and father, isn't it? Initially it's been our mother for the first nine months, hasn’t it, because it's come through her, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's come from her. It's gone through her. If she's been open to that damage, then it's gone through her, but also from her.

We've got damage that's initially gone in that direction, from our mother to us, but now primarily we've got the damage from our father, because we've probably grown up with dad as well. That's the primary damage entering into our soul, is it not?

And what's the primary damage going out of our soul? (Remember, that was in black, so we're going to draw that in black.)

Participant Female: Children.

Jesus: Yes. The primary damage coming out of our soul is towards our children, isn't it? And the secondary damage that comes out of our soul is towards?

Participant Female: To our partners.

Jesus: Yes. You could say there's an order of importance, basically. It depends on how much time you spend with each individual of course, and what you do to them. But primarily it's going to be partners, and then next the workmates, acquaintances, friends and so forth. Isn't it? Then, if we could go further away, there's society, culture, government, religion. That's all on the periphery, if you like, of the kind of damage that we're doing. Then you could also say there's environment, which is non-soul damage to the environment, but it's a soul damage it reflections back to yourself. So there's also that.

So you've got the flow of damage. You've got all that?

6. Forgiveness and repentance relationships

Jesus: If I then introduced you to a concept which said; who do we forgive, and whom do we repent towards, can you see that it's quite clear, from the diagram, who we need to forgive, and who we need to repent towards? Can you see that? The people we need to forgive will be the people who did the damage to us, primarily. They are primarily our mother and father in this diagram, are they not? Of course, if we grew up in an orphanage, then it's the orphanage. If we grew up in a household where there's grandma bringing us up, then it's grandma, or a mixture of mum and grandma, if there was no father around. It just depends on who was the primary caregiver to the child.

You can work all that out in your own life. Who was your primary caregiver throughout your childhood? Of course, you could also say nowadays in modern society ... this is very much what society has been for many thousands of years, but let's add another group of people, because they have us from a very young age nowadays, and that's the group of people who are again probably mostly women in modern society, in Western society, but shall we call them our teachers and caregivers? Of course there will be some damage, won't there, coming from them into us.

If you were in an orphanage it would be the people who managed the orphanage. If you went to a boarding school when you were five, then it will be the teachers and the boarding school principal, and all those groups of people who managed the process of looking after you from the time of five onward.

It just depends, for each person, what the underlying source of the damage will be, but remember, the "red" ones are the damage coming into you, and the "black" ones are the damage coming out of you.

Bearing all that in mind, the persons to forgive would be the "red" ones. So, "red" are the people that we need to forgive. If we trace that back to the source, they are the persons we're going to have to forgive at some point; they are the people we are primarily going to have to focus on forgiving.

The people that we're going to have to primarily focus on repenting towards, are the people who are at the end of the black arrow ‒ the damage that we've done. That means our partner, our friends, acquaintances and workmates, and in particular our children. They are the people that we're going to have to repent towards, because of the damage that we did to them.

Diagram indicating relationships where we need to forgive (red lines) and relationships where we need to repent (black lines)

Do you follow me so far? Yes?

6.1. Many people forgive those they should repent towards, and repent towards those who they should forgive

Jesus: Now do you know what I noticed? Most of you try to forgive the people you need to repent towards, and you try to repent towards the people you need to forgive. If you do that, you won't process anything.

Did you get what I just said? You repent towards the people you need to forgive, and you forgive the people you need to repent towards. Of course, all of that is based on falsehood. It's all based on false information that causes us to try, or attempt, to do those things.

For example, I've known of some, what you would call pseudo-spiritual development programs, that tell you that you were a mongrel to your parents, that you were terrible to your parents. You need to repent for all the things you did wrong to your parents. Now I'm not saying that you didn't do any damage to your parents, because of course any time you acted out of harmony with love, you sinned. If you acted out of harmony with love to your parents then you sinned against your parents, as well as towards God of course, because your parents are another child of God and you just damaged another child of God.

But most of our relationships, our physical relationships that we're having at the moment, are based around this dynamic.

6.2. Damage towards God

Jesus: Now let's introduce a few additional factors which we didn't introduce, and that is, we're attempting to have a relationship with God. Now did God do any damage to us? No. Did we do any damage to God? Yes. We attempted to. How can I say yes? What's the answer there?

Participant Female: When we damage others we are damaging God.

Jesus: Good. That's one time when we are damaging God. When I damage one of God's children, I'm basically damaging God, aren't I? I'm trying to, anyway. I'm acting out something towards God that God wouldn't want me to act out, so I am attempting to, you could say. It doesn't mean that God receives it. I'm attempting to damage God when I do that. What's another time when I attempt to damage God?

Participant Female: I denied for many years, to my children and others, that there was a God to even have a relationship with.

Jesus: So you, through your belief systems, told the people you had some kind of influence over that there was no God, or that it was impossible to have a relationship with God, and that of course interfered with God's relationship with those people. Is there another way we also damage God or we attempt to? Because it doesn't enter God of course, but is there another way?

Participant Female: When we are angry towards God, or have damaging emotions towards God. Like, even though God doesn't receive them, because it is our intention, like, our choice. If He was to receive them, it's our intention even though He doesn't.

Jesus: Our intention is to harm God, isn't it? So you could say, there is an attempt there to damage God. Yes. There's another attempt that we've made. Of course, like we say, it can't enter God because God doesn't allow any of these things to enter Him.

Participant Male: Whenever we're rebelling against God, or God's Laws basically.

Jesus: Yes. Anytime we're trying to break God's Laws. We're always attempting to rebel against God. Of course God just goes, "What are you trying to rebel against? I'm the most powerful Being in the Universe, do you really think you're going to be able to rebel?" But, that's what we're attempting. Yes?

Participant Female: Even just denial that God exists.

Jesus: Denial of God's existence. Yes. Interferes with our potential relationship with God.

Participant Female: When we damage any of God's creation.

Jesus: Yes. When we damage all of God's creations we are really saying to God, "Well, stuff You. I'm going to damage all of Your creations," without any thought about it. We're also doing that. Of course, none of that enters God, so God doesn't incur any soul damage for the damage we created. However, you do. Every time you attempt to do that, you actually do some damage to yourself, and many times you also do damage to other people from that attempt.

For example, whenever you deny God, and you get up in front of a hundred thousand people and you tell them that they shouldn't believe in a God, and you write a book about not believing in God, you're damaging their relationship with God. You are being influential, and of course there's going to be some soul damage on your own soul.

This is the thing with the damage towards God: it doesn't enter God but it certainly does enter you. Again, it comes from your choices, so it's a choice you made that you will need to repent for.

We also need to repent for damage towards God

6.3. Being in façade and addictions creates soul damage in ourselves and others

Participant Female: I have a question. What about, and I'm thinking of my children in particular, if you tell them about God, but you act very out of harmony with God's Laws? In other words, you're telling them there's a God and you're trying to demonstrate it, and yet you as a parent are being completely hypocritical.

Jesus: Well of course that's going to damage your children and their relationship with God.

Participant Female: Right.

Jesus: Every time you're hypocritical, of course that's the case. Every time you're in facade with another person you're actually damaging you, and you're damaging your relationship with that person. Therefore there's going to be some soul damage upon you as a result. Did you know that?

Every time you're in your facade there's some damage on your soul, every time you act out in facade. When you deny the truth of your true nature and you interact like that with another person, you're presenting a facade to them; you're actually damaging them. They can't have a relationship with you. You can't have a relationship with them, but you're actually incurring soul damage while you do it.

The same goes every time you feed one of your addictions. You're harming your own self. You're harming your own body. You're harming your own life most of the time, and most of the time you’re trying to harm somebody else in the process, because you're trying to suck something from them, or demand something from them, or coerce something out of them that they didn't want to give.

Most of the time, not only are you damaging them, but you're now also damaging you. This is the problem for many of you. You're not seeing your addictions like that. You think your facade is just a fun facade that you put on everything, or your addictions are just a great way to get happy. It's not like that at all. It's much more serious than that, from God's perspective.

6.4. An example of a participant realising the damage her addictions are causing

Participant Female: Doing the homework last night, I had what I think was an exciting understanding which was: I looked at why I wanted my addiction, and I looked at all the things that my hurt self was, and then I realised that everything I wanted to fix was about that. You know, about that. Then I realised ... I'll just think of it because it was convoluted. I realised, in trying to protect my hurt self I was actually making the people around me have the damage that I was doing. If I wanted to feel superior, then I was actually making them feel inferior by trying to feed my addiction. Then I, well I think that's what I thought.

Jesus: They feel inferior?

Participant Female: Yes, that's just one. And then I realised that the other thing was, this was particularly about wanting to be right, then realising how that extrapolated out into the whole environment. Because I wanted to be right, I was willing to have that thing damage other people, and damage all of the rest of the environment. That's not very clear, but that's the understanding I got of that process of what the hurt self did.

Jesus: Correct.

Participant Female: Exciting for me.

Jesus: It's very exciting to come to that realisation. This is one of the things we're going to have a look at in a minute ‒ that many of your addictions are the direct result of your refusal to forgive or repent. In fact, almost every one of your addictions are the direct result of your refusal to forgive or repent. That's a very important thing that we're going to discuss with you.

7. The two primary causes of suffering are the refusal to repent and the refusal to forgive

Jesus: Let's just go through the first things ... This is the first thing I would like to say to all of you. There are two points here. Almost all of your own, and the world's suffering, comes from two things. It comes from your refusal to forgive, or it comes from the refusal to repent. You see, if you had forgiven, then you probably wouldn't have taken actions anymore, that were based upon the things you had forgiven.

For example, if your parents treated you badly and you felt really low worth, and then you decided that you were going to try to feel superior, what you did was, you treated your children in a manner that made them feel that they are superior. That then caused damage to the world. They then think they are superior to other people in the world.

If you had forgiven your parents for them feeling superior to you, what would have happened? You would have felt that you're just equal to anybody else in the world, as anybody else, and so you wouldn't have taught your children that they are superior. You would have taught your children that they are equal, so then there would have been no damage.

Every little bit of pain and suffering that you experience right now comes from these two particular problems. The refusal to repent, and the refusal to forgive. That's how important it is. Every facade you've created comes from the refusal to repent, and the refusal to forgive. Every single addiction you have right now comes from the refusal to repent, and the refusal to forgive. Once I realised this in the first century, what do you think I did?

Participant Female: I reckon you gave it a go.

Jesus: Yes. That's exactly right. I said, "I don't really have to worry about anything else. All I need to do is learn how to forgive, and learn how to repent. That's all I have to do. If I learn those two things the best possible way that I can, I'll get close to God more rapidly than any other way." But to do that, you have to give up your facade, and you have to give up your addictions, and you have to do all these other things. That's the issue. But I realised that this needed to become my focus. What that meant was, I decided to focus on forgiveness and repentance in my personal development. You can make the same choice.

Remember, on Saturday Mary said to you, "Are you going to make the choice to love, or not?" How are you using your will? You can use your will to make this choice, to make the choice to become more loving. How do you become more loving? Instead of refusing to repent and forgive, you choose to repent and forgive. That's how you become more loving.

There is a process involved, which we want to talk to you about of course. When I say a process, there are emotions that are going to be involved, because this is all soul-based work. It's not something you're going to be able to go, "Oh, I forgive you, I forgive you. Oh, I forgive you," and it's all done. It's not like that at all, because it's based on what is the reality of your feeling inside of your soul. Do you feel like forgiving them? No. Do you feel angry with them? Yes. That's not forgiving them.

You need to go through these feelings into the hurt, and actually go through a lot of emotions in order to forgive or repent, but it is the most rapid way of processing through your unhealed self, your hurt self. It's the most rapid way to let go of all of your addictions. All of your addictions have been created to avoid doing these two things. These two things are related to your hurt self, and whenever you choose to avoid doing them you're going to be in your facade self. You're going to be in your addictions. A lot of your addictions will automatically disappear when you do this.

That's hopeful, isn't it, because you were freaked out about having to go through every one of them, one by one, weren't you? Yes you were. You were freaked out about having to deconstruct that facade in the manner that I was talking to you about, which you're going to have to do. But this is the fast way to get into a lot of these things.

Now the only problem with it is though: you can't repent for something that you have to forgive, and you can't forgive something you have to repent for. Also, you can't do it in your head; you can't do this intellectually. It's impossible in fact. In addition to that, the problem with it all is that if we don't do these things, we're going to have the Law of Compensation acting upon us all the time to try to help us get to do these things.

7.1. The Law of Compensation demonstrates to us the need to repent and forgive

Jesus: Repentance and forgiveness is a major part of the way to God. It is, in fact, a large part of The Way. Do you understand why? Because the Law of Compensation is the other way. Do you know the difference between the two laws?

The Law of Compensation is basically saying this: you do something wrong, you resist all the reasons why you did it. You don't even try to think about it. You're in denial about it, and the Law of Compensation is going to place some damage in your soul, and then it's going to act upon that damage in your soul with pain and suffering inside of your soul. It's going to keep doing that until you admit you did something wrong. In fact, what it's going to do is, it's going to keep doing that until you engage the higher law, which is repentance.

It will act upon your soul, triggering you every single moment of every single day, just prodding, prodding, prodding, prodding, prodding, prodding, prodding, and prodding, and prodding more. Prodding. Prodding. And still prodding. Waiting for you to come to the realisation that you have actually done something wrong, and you can repent for it.

The Law of Compensation also acts upon your refusal to forgive, because when you refuse to forgive, you're angry, you're resentful. You do a whole heap of things to damage other people because you're refusing to forgive a group of people. We'll go through this in a minute. So what happens? The Law of Compensation prods, prods, prods and prods again with regard to, "Why aren't you forgiving this person? Why aren't you forgiving this person? Why aren't you forgiving this person?"

Your refusal to forgive means pain and suffering is going to be in your soul until you forgive. Now if that's a hundred years, it's a hundred years. If it's a thousand years, it's a thousand years. There are people two thousand, five thousand years, still haven't forgiven. The Law of Compensation is causing pain in the soul until such a time as the person comes to realise that they've actually done the wrong thing by not forgiving.

See, most of you feel justified in not forgiving, if you think about it. All the people who've harmed you, you go, "Yeah, they harmed me." You know, there's this anger and resentment inside, and there's a refusal to forgive them. Forgiveness is not just a simple, "Oh, I forgive you. I'm so magnanimous. Aren't I so wonderful? I've forgiven you." It's not a fiction or facade. It's an actual state you're going to have to go into emotionally, where you have no animosity towards that person at all, inside of your heart, where you have no feelings of wanting to harm them or hurt them, no feelings of resentment. All of those feelings have gone because you've gone through this process of forgiveness.

The suffering, not only your personal suffering, like your physical suffering, your body ... What's happening to your body? The fact that you grow old and die. All of these things are caused by these two causes, actually. Your refusal to forgive, and your refusal to repent. None of you understand that yet, but there will be a time when you start engaging these laws and you see an improvement, a rapid improvement in yourself, and then you'll start realising, "Ah, this is one of the secrets about God's Way." This is one of the secrets about engaging God's Path, instead of just hammering away at the Law of Compensation every day. Or you could say more truthfully, the Law of Compensation hammering away at you all day.

You have a choice, and if you loved you would make this choice to actually go through these processes instead. Even if you loved yourself you would make that choice, let alone if you loved anyone else, because it's an easier road and also far more sincere and truthful than the other road, so of course you would make the choice. But most of us don't make that choice.

8. Audience questions

8.1. Forgiving others assists them

Participant Female: If we choose to forgive or repent, say we choose to forgive, does that help the person also, their soul, that we're forgiving?

Jesus: It can, because before the time when we forgive, we're judging. And what is judgment? When you feel judged, do you feel like dealing with any emotion when you're judged? You don't, do you?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: When you're judged you just go, "Oh." You feel like fighting the judgment, don't you? You don't feel like actually dealing with the emotion underneath the hurt. This is the problem. You see, when we refuse to forgive, we've got all this judgement coming out of us, all this resistance coming out of us. As a result of all this stuff coming out of us, what's going into the other person is all this judgment, resistance and everything. Of course, that's making it more difficult for them to even admit that they did something wrong. In other words, it makes it more difficult for them to repent.

So when we refuse to forgive someone, it makes it more difficult for them to repent. It doesn't mean that we're responsible though, for their lack of repentance. God doesn't make you responsible for the fact that you haven't forgiven your parents, for example.

But it does have an effect on them. When you do forgive them, and it's sincere, they will feel it. When they feel it, things change between you and them, automatically start changing. Initially they might get really angry, because that's one of the first responses generally, of a person getting or coming closer to their emotions. Things in a relationship will change generally, if you forgive somebody. It's not always the case, but it can be the case.

8.2. The distinction between repentance and guilt

Participant Male: With our kids, is repentance pretty closely connected to feeling guilt?

Jesus: No. Guilt is an emotion that is actually what I classify as a self-absorbed, narcissistic emotion, because it prevents you from seeing the real damage that you've done. Guilt is really a feeling-sorry-for-yourself, a lot of the times.

True repentance is an acknowledgement, and we will actually have to, at some point in the future, go through what repentance actually looks like, but first you've got to see that it's an acknowledgement of the actual truth. The actual truth is, you're not hurt, they are. You did the hurting. When you have to repent, you have to come to acknowledge that you did the hurting.

Now that's not a self-absorbed place of feeling all guilty and self-focused and narcissistic; that's the place of seeing what you did to the other person. That's the place of reflecting upon the damage that was done to them, how they have now responded in their life because of what you did. That's a very different place to guilt.

Participant Male: Well, I wonder whether emotions that I've been feeling towards my kids have been repentance, or have they been more guilt?

Jesus: Well if you think about some of the emotions that you've had, certainly they've been more guilt-driven than repentance-driven. Usually a person who is guilt-driven finishes up doing even more damage to the child than less, because they become very narcissistic and self-absorbed about the damage they did. In other words they go, "Oh, isn't it terrible?"

This is where you see parents often going to the child and saying, "Oh, I need you to forgive me for what I did to you, and if you don't forgive me I don't know what I'll be able to do." What did you just do? You just made them responsible for the rest of your life, and that actually is another sin that you've just committed against them, in your process of what you call repentance. That's not repentance.

True repentance is felt in your heart and doesn't have to engage the individual in any discussion. True repentance comes from your soul. It doesn't come from your desire to have them forgive you. The reality is, the amount of damage we've done to our children, they could not forgive us for a hundred years, and we would deserve it.

8.3. The importance of seeing the truth, for repentance and forgiveness

Jesus: But what I'm talking to you about here is the fast way, which is the Divine Love way, of going through your emotions. What we've talked about to you, up until now you're still going to have to engage, because that's the natural love way of dealing with things that you don't get to this place with. You see, the whole reason why we've talked to you all the other three days, is that we wanted you to come to terms with the fact that you've done something wrong. You've committed sins. You've done something out of harmony with love.

We need you to see it, because if you don't see it you'll never get this Way, because the starting point of this Way is to see what's been done, what you did. In truth, see what's been done and what you did. You can't start to repent if you don't think anything was done towards others from you, and you can't start to forgive if you don't think anything has been done to you.

Participant Female: The other part of the understanding that I had, which was the really exciting part I think, was I looked at, "Why is it a sin what I've been doing with my addiction?" I was reading The Prayer and I saw the sacrifice, "not having to sacrifice any of your creatures," and I realised: the sin is, "I have sacrificed everybody around me and the environment and stuff in feeding my addictions." That's that "sacrifice."

Jesus: Correct.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Correct. So you then start to see what you've done. You see, there needs to be an awareness of what you've done.

Participant Female: Yes, and it just gave me an "incy, incy little bit" of emotional, you know ...

Jesus: Of course. Then there also needs to be an awareness of what others really did to you. I see many of you having large trouble with that. When I start talking about what your parents did to you, you go, "Oh, it wasn't that bad. I don't think it was like that. No, it didn't have that large an effect on me." If you could see what happened to your soul as a picture, while it was happening, you wouldn't say any of those things. But most of us go, "Oh it's not that bad." Why do we go like that? Because we've been taught to go like that because of the addictions, or the facade of our parents entering us while we were still young.

We grew up becoming ... having the same opinions and the same concepts as our parents. If they felt we deserved it, what do we go round saying as an adult? "Yeah, I got belted a few times by my mum and dad, but I deserved it."

But if I belted you right now, I would be in jail for assault, even if you deserved it. Can you see what we do? It's okay for the kid to get belted around a bit because he deserved it, but for the adult to get belted around a bit, the person who did it has to go to jail even if the person so-called deserved it, so our concept is very, very flawed.

8.4. Every unloving act that we've perpetrated, or has been perpetrated towards us, needs to be repented for or forgiven

Participant Male: Would you need to repent and also forgive, for every single act that you've perpetrated, or that's been perpetrated towards you?

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Male: Every single act?

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Male: Okay. Alright, thanks.

Jesus: Clear enough?

8.5. Parents need to be forgiven by their children, rather than repented towards

Participant Male: I was just wondering, I feel quite soft towards my parents, but I know I've got a lot of stored up rage towards them, so would that softness be my facade?

Jesus: Yes, the facade they helped you create. Yes.

Participant Female: And if I feel guilty and pressured to repent towards my parents, how do I shift into feeling that I actually have to forgive?

Jesus: Correct. These are good questions, aren't they? See, a lot of children feel so much guilt towards their parents that they think that the parents have got to forgive them, the child. Obviously that's not right because we've just drawn what the patterns are, where the damage came from. We can see, if we trace the damage back to its source, we can see the persons who are the source of all the red lines; they are the persons who are going to have to be forgiven by us. We can see that, if they're demanding that we repent when actually they need to be forgiven by us, then we've got an issue here that we've got to resolve. Yes?

We need to forgive our parents for the damage they did to us, not repent for it

These are all good questions. So let's go through some of them, shall we?

9. Definition of forgiveness relationships

Jesus: Forgiveness relationships: let's first summarise it. What's the definition of a forgiveness relationship? A relationship with another person who caused our pain, from God's perspective, by being unloving to us during our childhood or any time in our later life.

By the way, this is "Unloving to us," from God's perspective. You know what happens at the moment? Many of you think someone is being unloving towards you when all it is, is that they are not meeting your addiction. Now that, from God's perspective, is love, not un-love, not a lack of love. This is from God's perspective, not from yours, and this is where it becomes difficult, because most of us don't have God's perspective. We only have our own.

A forgiveness relationship is a relationship with another person who suppressed our pain, from God's perspective, by being unloving to us during our childhood or any time during our life.

The first point is about the creation of the pain, and the second point is about the attempted suppression of the pain. Now if you think about it, most parents do both of those things. They first create the pain, and then when the child starts to act out the pain that it feels inside of itself, the parents are not happy with that, and what they do then? They take action to suppress the acting out of that pain. That then causes additional damage to our soul that we're going to have to forgive our parents for.

10. Audience questions

10.1. In general we need to repent for others attracted into our lives in adulthood who expose our unloving emotions

Participant Female: What about in the case of, as an adult, someone suppresses you? You have to forgive them as well, even though you've got some culpability in there?

Jesus: We will get to that, but if I can just make a general comment: Who attracted that adult into that person's life?

Participant Female: I did. Yes.

10.1.1. An example of a partner relationship

Jesus: Let's say in your case, who attracted your husband into your life?

Participant Female: I did.

Jesus: You did.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So anything your husband now does is partially your fault, because you attracted him into your life. Can you see that?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So can you really say, like, if you should forgive anybody, you need to forgive yourself for attracting him into your life rather than thinking that you have to forgive him for the treatment? Because his treatment is actually an attraction that you've attracted, in order to address some of these unhealed emotions that you're not addressing. You see, if you had forgiven your parents by the time you were five, would you have attracted a man who does these things that he does to you?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: Would you have attracted him? No you wouldn't have. You might have even known he was your soulmate, but you still would have gone, "Well I'm just going to interact with you, love you, until the time you've dealt with all those things, then I'll have a relationship with you." Or whatever, wouldn't you?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Can we see our culpability in the relationship? See, most of us don't see that. You know what we do instead? We go, "That person's a terrible relationship. I will go and get another relationship." You feel resentful and angry towards that person, not understanding that that person was a person you attracted, not understanding that you attracted them to deal with some soul-based damage that you had refused, to that point, to deal with. Otherwise you wouldn't have attracted them.

We need to repent for partner relationships and other adult relationships we have

Participant Female: So any damage you've attracted is something that you still ...

Jesus: Since your childhood.

Participant Female: Yes. Is something you still need to repent for?

Jesus: Any damage you've attracted in relationships ...

Participant Female: Yes, because you've attracted them ...

Jesus: ... is more likely going to be something you're going to have to repent for, than something you're going to have to forgive somebody else. Yes. Any damage you've attracted in your adult life from other events could have been caused by the choices of those people. That's a different issue. I'm now talking about your relationships specifically.

What I'm drawing is some analogies here, to help you see that for the majority of us, we're refusing to forgive. We're refusing to repent for things that we did wrong. We're refusing to forgive others for what they did wrong, and we don't even know the difference half the time. That's part of our problem. We're trying to forgive people who we need to repent with. We're trying to repent with people, our parents generally, who we need to forgive. Of course, that's not going to be real. It can't work that way.

10.2. There is a sliding scale of unloving actions and feelings towards others

Jesus: Now bear in mind, as with everything that I'm talking about, God assesses all of these things individually. Some people do do damage to their parents. Like for example, a person who gets so enraged with their parents and refuses to forgive their parents might finish up murdering their parents. Well that certainly is damage to the parents, which that person will have to repent for, but what I'm trying to draw here are some basic analogies for you to see where most of the work has to happen, for the average person on the planet.

Participant Female: If you get enraged at your parents but you don't murder them, is that the same thing?

Jesus: Well if you feel so much rage that you feel like murdering them, it's almost the same thing. Yes, from God's perspective.

Participant Female: Is there a line somewhere?

Jesus: Of course when you've actually murdered them, you've done even more damage, and of course it's escalated damage. But remember I said in the first century, even a man who looks at a woman wanting a relationship with her, commits adultery in his heart.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So where is the line?

Participant Female: Well my confusion is really like ...

Jesus: Where is the line? There is no line.

Participant Female: Right.

Jesus: It's a sliding scale of intensifying reasons, isn't it? If you say that's a hundred percent, and this is zero, what's the worst possible thing you could imagine?

Participant Female: Murdering them, yes.

Jesus: Yes, you see that's not the worst thing I could imagine. That's not the worst thing that's ever happened. What's the worst thing that somebody could do to you, do you think? If they just come along and shot you in the head, and then compare that with what other things they could do, and you will start to get what I'm meaning.

Participant Female: A slow torture?

Jesus: Yes if you had a very slow torture over years, that would be terrible, wouldn't it? Where they just kept you alive over years and years, and years, and years, and years. And they sexually, and physically, and violently tortured you over years, and years, and years, that would be right up at one hundred percent of harm, wouldn't it?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Going on for years, and years, and years, whereas a murder might be lower down in comparison to that. Then having hatred towards the person might be lower down. Then just having a dislike of the person might be lower down. It's a sliding scale of different things. God knows the exact point where you are on every issue. Every issue.

There is a sliding scale of unloving actions from God's perspective

Participant Female: What about if you in the past wished somebody would die quickly?

Jesus: Well that's, if this is murder, then wishing that someone would die very quickly is very close to that, isn't it, in terms of the sin.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Okay. So God knows where all of these places are. Once you connect to repentance and forgiveness, God will show you where you are on every one of these subjects.

10.3. An example working through forgiveness towards a mother

Participant Female: I'm just thinking of most of my life I've been in denial of the anger I have at my mother, and now I'm becoming aware of the anger I have at my mother. Childhood anger is okay, but I don't think this is childhood anger.

Jesus: Well, can we get to discussing the details of individual things? One of the things when I start raising these issues is, like, "I'm angry with my mother." Well, anger is the first step of forgiveness of your mother. Denial of anger is where you're in no steps towards forgiveness of your mother. Then anger is the first step of forgiveness towards your mother. That's the first emotion that you will probably have to go through to forgive your mother.

It's not the only one because you can have rage and rage and rage and rage, and you can choose to project that rage. Or you could choose to feel it. If you chose to feel it and you process through the rage, what will come up after that, might be some other emotions towards your mother, like, "Oh, I don't understand why she did it. I don't understand why she did it," so you might go through that emotion.

Many of these emotions are going to be involved in the process of forgiving your mother. Anger towards your mother in the process of forgiveness, if it's truly felt by you alone, is much better than denial of the anger of your mother.

If you look at reversing a problem, if this is you would like to murder her, resentment, rage, hatred, all those kinds of things, and we start sliding down, when you're just angry with her now, that's lower down on the scale. Even murdering her, the feeling of murdering her, you wouldn't act upon it, but the feeling of it is there. You need to feel it. Release it. Once you release it you will realise why. You get that? You'll realise why it's happening.

Then as you feel that, you might feel afraid of your mother. You might feel the feeling of, "Why did she do it to me? Why did she hurt me? Why?" As you're feeling all of these feelings, eventually you will get down to the fact that you've got no more negative emotion about your mother. Then you've forgiven her. It's going to be an emotional process.

11. The importance of truth and allowing emotional overwhelm for repentance and forgiveness

Jesus: If you can't cope with being emotionally overwhelmed, you're not even going to do anything about this. Forgiveness, repentance, you're not going to be able to do any of it if you can't allow yourself to be overwhelmed emotionally. That's why I've talked to you about being overwhelmed emotionally so much.

If you can't be honest with yourself, do you think you will ever do this? You've got Buckley's of doing this if you can't be honest with yourself. And if you can't be honest about other people, are you ever going to do this? You're never going to forgive anybody if you can't be honest about what they've done. You're never going to repent towards anybody unless you can honestly see what you've done to them, so truth is a big part of this.

12. Definition of forgiveness relationships (continued)

Jesus: Let's keep going. A forgiveness relationship is a relationship with oneself, where we purposefully or unknowingly chose to punish ourselves at the emotional request of others, because of the pain or perceived pain others claim we caused them. This is a forgiveness relationship still, a relationship with ourselves where we need to forgive ourselves for taking actions, where other people induced us to take that action, and we believed them. We did what they said and that caused harm to ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves for that.

All these kinds of relationships usually begin before seven years old in our childhood. These are the kinds of things that were done to us.

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P2

13. Forgiveness relationships

Jesus: How are we doing so far?

Participant Female: I'm not really sure on the "any time in our later life" bit, of the "A forgiveness relationship is a relationship with another person who caused us pain from God's perspective, by being unloving to us during our childhood or any time during our life." I get the childhood part, but I don't understand.

13.1. An example of being raped as an adult

Jesus: Let's say a guy came along and raped you today. Would he have harmed you?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Would he have caused causal hurt to your soul?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Probably, yes. In other words, he would be a person you would have to forgive. Now that would have potentially been related to other events that happened in your childhood. In other words, often they find, with a lot of people who have had abuse in their childhood, they finish up being raped in later life. So you could see a relationship between them there. You may actually have things happen, where you have to forgive this guy for what he has done, but it is also linked to forgiveness, related to something that you hadn't forgiven earlier in your life. This is what often happens. We attract events that are showing us what we haven't forgiven.

Participant Female: Thanks.

13.2. Forgetting is a method of denial

Participant Another Female:

On that, what about not having memories of certain things? When going through repentance and forgiveness, would those memories eventually surface? Are you only in denial because you don't want to know them at this stage?

Jesus: Correct. Why do we not have memories?

Participant Female: Denial.

Jesus: Denial tells us that there are things that we don't want to remember. Okay? If there are things that we don't want to remember, what's our first opportunity? What's the first thing that we would need to do?

Participant Female: Have a will. You know, take our will to have a desire to remember.

Jesus: Correct. Yes. Most of us don't want to do that because?

Participant Female: Fear.

Jesus: No.

Participant Female: No?

Jesus: No; it's because we don't want to be emotionally overwhelmed with the results of the memory that's there. For example, many people who have childhood trauma, such as violent abuse or sexual abuse, often do not remember it in their adult life. Why is that? Because they don't want to. And why is that? Because it's traumatic.

Participant Female: Yes it's true. I don't want to feel the pain.

Jesus: We don't want to feel the pain. It's going to be emotionally overwhelming to feel the pain, so we try to shut it down. We try to prevent it. We do everything we can. We eat, drink, do a heap of other addictive things in order to prevent that pain. That's what we do.

We need to stop doing those things if we're ever going to come to the truth. You see, you're still going to have to do some of the things we've been talking about, because you've got to get to a point of awareness. Awareness doesn't just come magically. Awareness comes at the control of your soul. It's not like. "When you're ready." You're not ever ready until you desire to be ready. If I ever hear another person say, "I wasn't ready," I will scream, I think. There's one of my feelings that I have to forgive. (Laughter) I'm just joking.

13.3. Forgiveness is an emotional forgetfulness

Jesus: Now, receiving God's Love requires that I forgive, others or myself, for our; in other words, others or my own, unloving choices. By the way, forgiveness in this context is not the same as forgiveness in a natural love context, because in the natural love context you've forgiven because you've had two thousand years, and you've forgotten about it. In fact, there is a statement in the Padgett Messages, which says "forgiveness is forgetfulness."

It's not forgetfulness intellectually. It's emotional forgetfulness. Do you understand the difference? There is a difference, isn't there? You can still remember some events. Like, the child who goes through an event right now, where they hurt their leg. They cry, and cry, let it all go, and then two days later there's a bit of a scar on their leg, and they remember the event still, but do they cry about it? No, because it's completely released. The emotional signature of the event is gone. That's what we mean by "forgetfulness." The emotional signature has to be gone. Receiving God's Love requires that I forgive. In other words, the emotional signature of what they did to me is gone from inside of me. That's what it requires.

13.4. Suffering cannot cease until we forgive

Jesus: Suffering cannot cease until I forgive. Why? Because the Law of Compensation is acting upon my soul's refusal to forgive. The Law of Compensation is telling me ‒ prodding, prodding, prodding, and the Law of Compensation is the direct result of my refusal to forgive. The Law of Compensation causes things to happen as a direct result of my refusal to forgive, so that I know that I'm refusing.

If you like, it's our choice to refuse the prodding's of the Law of Compensation that is causing our pain and suffering. Our choice to refuse what the Law of Compensation is trying to show you is the result, that in the end causes pain and suffering. It's our choice to do that.

All of your physical pain right now, completely the result of a choice you are making to refuse the prodding's of the Law of Compensation.

14. Audience questions

14.1. An example of a participant feeling emotional in response to the discussion

Participant Female: I feel like I'm hearing the words but I'm just really mixed up inside about it all.

Jesus: That's okay.

Participant Female: And ...

Jesus: So it's like the dog in Mary's Simpson’s thing, is it? La-da-da-da-da?

Participant Female: Yes, like I'm having trouble taking it in because I'm just feeling so ...

Jesus: Honestly, this is a very difficult concept to accept, because most of us have within us very deep refusals, to both repent and forgive. There's a lot of fear. "What's going to happen if I forgive? What's going to happen if I repent? You mean that others get away with it? That's not fair." There are all these emotions that come up, and it's just going to be a bit of a menagerie of emotions in there for a while, as you contemplate some of these things.

Participant Female: Yes, I just feel like I haven't been doing it right.

Jesus: Yes that's true. It’s okay.

Participant Female: It's like the realisation, and then the fear that comes up.

Jesus: What's the fear? See, the fears associated with realisations of truth are only figments of your past. In other words, what happened when you were a child and you didn't do something right?

Participant Female: I just got into trouble.

Jesus: Yes. What kind of trouble?

Participant Female: Oh, it was like, I was belittled and humiliated.

Jesus: Yes. Humiliated, belittled, punished. Probably even violently for many of us.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: That's the signature, that's the emotional signature that prevents the understanding. You think God is going to do that with you.

Participant Female: Yes. I keep trying to understand everything so that I can get it right all the time.

Jesus: Ah, just sit there, feel. Sit there, feel. This is a process that you're going to have to go through to understand, an emotional process you're going to have to go through to understand. You don't have to worry too much. God's not punishing. The Law of Compensation is already working on your soul. The pain you're in right now is a direct consequence of the refusal to forgive and repent. The pain in your life right now is a direct consequence of it. There's no more that will happen. It's already happening.

Participant Male: I'm wondering, in a practical sense, how the Law of Compensation is acting upon myself, or ourselves?

Jesus: Can I discuss that in our next thing about, "In practice"? Yes? Because there's a lot of what I would classify as really introductory material to present to you still What we want to do, before we answer too many more of your questions, is present some more introductory material, and then we've got to get on to answering some of these questions that you have, where you don't understand what's really going on with the laws.

15. Forgiveness relationships (continued)

15.1. Addiction relationships are created automatically when we refuse to forgive

Jesus: Let's go through the rest: So, Forgiveness Relationships. Now this is a really important point. Addiction relationships, in other words a relationship between you and another person that is based around an addiction, is created automatically when you refuse to forgive. Can you see why? Let's have a look at the dynamic.

Let's say that mummy rejected me. I'm a girl and mummy rejected me. What kind of friends am I going to look for? There will be two types of friends actually, well, two types of friends I will attract, and one of them I want. That's probably a better way of saying it.

Participant Female: Friends who will pander to us and fill the void of feeling rejected by mummy.

Jesus: Friends that I want to fill the void, and they are willing to fill the void in a co-dependent relationship with me. They are willing to fill the void that I have within me, because I've refused to forgive my mother. So there's those kinds of friends. What are the second kind of friends?

Participant Female: Exactly like my mother.

Jesus: Exactly. You'll also attract, in your day-to-day life, because of this feeling inside of you that needs to be corrected ‒ the refusal to forgive your mother ‒ people exactly like your mum who belittle you, treat you badly, and treat you like you're not worth what they think you should be worth, and so forth.

Can you see that both of those groups of people wouldn't affect you at all if you had forgiven? In other words, you wouldn't need women to love you and care about you because your mummy didn't. You also wouldn't need to attract into your life women who treat you badly, just like your mum does, in order to release the emotion. So can you see that it will change your life in that regard?

Your refusal to forgive, now automatically causes you to want women who are going to be the opposite to your mother, in your life. That's going to cause you to establish addictions with those women, as a direct result of your refusal to forgive. Does everyone understand that? Sort of? No?

Participant Female: Will we need to repent for that?

Jesus: Of course we will. Yes, that's the irony. Everything you refuse to forgive, you will create an addiction to meet. When you create an addiction to meet, now you've created something you have to repent for.

Refusing to forgive our parents creates addictions in adult relationships that we need to repent for

You see what trouble we make for ourselves? Because we refuse to do the simple thing, which is to just forgive the person who did the damage. We refuse to be emotionally overwhelmed, to go through that process. We decide, "Oh, I need all these people to help me," every one of those people we're getting feelings from. We're sucking them dry, if you like, and of course we're going to have to repent for that at some point. However, when you go through the process of forgiveness of your mother, do you think you will do that anymore?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: No. You will automatically stop the behaviour, the sinful behaviour that you created, that you would need to repent for. Automatically. Isn't that wonderful? Just by forgiving. How simple is that.

Do you know what I think about all this stuff? I just think it's absolutely amazing the way that God has created the soul. Because this is all about a framework that your soul exists within, and everybody's soul in the Universe, exists within. It's really wonderful stuff.

15.2. Conditions under which addiction relationships are automatically created

Jesus: Can I continue though? Let's have a look at the next thing. Addiction relationships are created automatically when we refuse to forgive the person who suppressed our pain. Remember, there's a difference between the creator of the pain and the suppressor of that pain.

A lot of times our parents might have created our pain, but then we start crying, we go to school and we cry about what our parents did. The teacher says, "Don't do that," tries to cheer you up and all that. Well they just suppressed your pain. So there's how a refusal to forgive against those, is also going to create addiction relationships.

Addiction relationships are automatically created when we refuse to forgive ourselves for the punishment we inflicted on ourselves because we needed to please them. Whenever we refuse to forgive ourselves for the punishment we inflict upon ourselves, unfortunately we continue to punish ourselves, which is actually punishing one of God's children, yourself. There will be things for which you need to forgive yourself for doing. When you do, you won't do it anymore. When you forgive yourself for the things that you've done wrong towards yourself, you won't do them anymore. They will stop happening, automatically.

Addiction relationships are created automatically when we refuse to feel our own pain from these relationships. Every time you refuse to feel the pain from a relationship that has caused you pain, you are going to automatically create an addiction. So can you see, if you go through the process of forgiveness, a lot of addictions can disappear, all at the same time? Because a lot of our addictions are all based around a relationship that we refuse to forgive the person for when they've done harm to us.

Now, when we refuse to forgive, we automatically create addiction relationships in order to ‒ do what? In order to avoid our pain, in order to avoid our personal suppression of pain, in order to avoid healing our tendency to punish ourselves, and so forth. So we substitute pleasure for pain. This is what happens when we automatically do those things.

Now remember, those notes are going to be on the website (see 20140715 Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts (Outline)), so you don't have to worry about writing them down too much. The key is for you to feel about them, that's the main thing.

16. Repentance relationships

Jesus: Okay. Let's now look at repentance relationships, which is describing, summarising, the same thing but in reverse basically. Let's have a look at it.

16.1. Definition of repentance relationships

Jesus: Definition of the repentance relationship is: can you see from this diagram on whiteboard, every person that you have personally harmed.

Repentance relationships are shown in black,

and are with every person we have harmed

A repentance relationship is a relationship with another person who we caused pain to, by involving them in our addictions in order to avoid our own pain. Now if we just say that again: A relationship with another person who we caused pain to, by involving them in our addictions in order to avoid our own pain.

It gets pretty complicated, doesn't it? You think of what we're doing. Because we've refused to forgive our parents, what we do instead now is, we create a relationship with another person. We have a whole heap of addictions now that we have met, because remember, whenever we refuse to forgive, addictions are automatically created, because of all of these emotional holes in our soul that we want filled from somewhere. So we create these addictions.

Then of course, in creating these addictions, we're harming someone else. Now we're going to have to repent for those things. We could have avoided the whole thing if we forgave in the first place. Can you see, forgiveness is something we should have been taught when we were three, four, five, rather than something when we're fifty, sixty, seventy?

A repentance relationship is a relationship with another person who we suppressed by forcing them, or coercing them or manipulating them, into meeting our addictions to avoid our own pain. See, every time I try to get you, coerce you, manipulate you or anything into meeting one of my addictions, I'm actually suppressing you. You're having to change you, be something different to what you actually are in order to meet my addiction. That causes you damage. I'm going to have to repent for that damage.

16.1.1. An example of damaging oneself to avoid personal pain

Jesus: A repentance relationship is a relationship with oneself, where we purposefully or unknowingly engaged in harm to ourselves, in order to avoid the personal pain resulting from our own unloving choices. You see people do this all the time actually. This is the kind of thing where somebody feels really, really sad because, let's say they had a car accident, as an example. They had a car accident and they accidentally killed a child in the car accident. The reason they had the car accident is that they got drunk one night, they were out drinking, and they drove home drunk and they ran head-on into another car.

Then they feel so much guilt about it (and remember, guilt is the avoidance of personal pain), what do they do? They drink themselves silly for the rest of their life. They just get drunk every night. Every day, just drinking themselves into oblivion. That's personal pain they are causing to themselves, in order to avoid some previous pain resulting from their unloving choices. You're going to have to repent for that. You have to go through the emotions of why you do that, why you've chosen that, because it's an avoidance of the fact that you've caused pain.

16.1.2. Repentance relationships usually begin after seven years of age

Jesus: All of these kinds of relationships usually begin after seven years old. Now I'm choosing this seven year old figure, remember you've got to use it with a bit of latitude, because each person is different. You see, what I see many of you parents doing to your children is, you are creating these problems before they're seven years old. Some of you have got really deep incestuous addictions with your children that began when they were three or four years old. Some of these children, by the time they are six or seven, they've already got terrible addictions. Some of them are going to turn out to be monsters. Like, when I say monsters, they're going to be narcissistic, self-involved, they're going to be the kind of people who harm other people for a long part of their life, because you have done everything for them, or things like that.

So this seven year old figure is very flexible, depending on what happened. Seven years old is when your brain usually finishes its development in terms of its size, and you start to gain emotional awareness of what's happening around you, rather than just a physical one. That's why you start to engage your will more strongly. After that point in time there is a sliding scale again, between that age and later ages, where you end up engaging your will more fully. I'm suggesting to you that most of your repentance relationships are going to be based around things that happened after you were seven, not before.

16.2. An example of repenting towards a cheating husband for attracting him

Jesus: Most of your forgiveness relationships are based around things before you were seven. I often have people come up and say, "Yeah, my husband, he's just terrible. He does this, he does that, and should I forgive him or should I leave?" I'm just going, "Forgive him? I'm sorry, forgive him? Did you just say 'forgive him' to me?" Who do you have to forgive? Your parents, for your desire to attract this man into your life. They created all that. Who do you have to repent towards? Him! For attracting him into your life. You're saying, "Should I forgive him?" No. I'm saying you should repent towards him.

We're going to talk about this more. Because that didn't go down very well at all, that one.

Participant Male: Sorry, AJ. I'm just going to ask you to say that one more time. Like, to forgive your parents for creating the desire in you to ...

Jesus: If you're in a relationship with this man, whatever he's done, let's say he went and cheated on you. You're in a relationship with this man and he went and cheated on you. Well the question becomes: well how did you attract this man into your life, attract a man who would cheat on you? How did you do that? Well, before you attracted this man into your life, somebody put inside of you an emotion, that caused you to be open to having a relationship with a man who is going to cheat on you. In other words, someone put inside of you the concept that it was okay to be in a relationship with a person who is going to cheat on you. Somebody did it. It certainly wasn't him because he wasn't there before then.

Participant Male: So that's the effect of not forgiving?

Jesus: That's the effect of not forgiving somebody.

Participant Male: But not necessarily the person who you attracted?

Jesus: It's definitely not the person you attracted.

Participant Male: Definitely not.

Jesus: Because it was in you before you attracted him, so it's definitely not him.

Participant Male: Right.

Jesus: It's not him that you need to forgive. It's somebody else. Somebody who created the state inside of you where you were open to a man.

See, this is where you don't understand the soul yet. Everyone can feel the true nature and intention of everyone else. If you were sensitive emotionally you would walk up to a person and go, "I know you're going to cheat on me. I can feel the emotion in you. You think men are superior. You think men have got their urges. You have all these beliefs." You can feel every one of them, and you know.

If you entered the relationship with that person knowingly, you could say, well basically it's your own fault. Now most of us enter it unknowingly. Why? Because we're totally in addiction. We're totally addicted to wanting that kind of a person, and the Law of Attraction is in operation to correct our addictions.

Why would we be addicted to wanting that kind of person? Now, you women know many of the reasons why. You're attracted to naughty, bad men. Why? Because at some point, you're going to change them and turn them into this really nice fellow who really loves you. That's going to make you feel special and unique, and it's going to make you just feel powerful. It's going to make you feel like you're the best woman in his whole life. All the women before you weren't as good as you are. It's going to make you feel all of these nice things. That's why you try to do it, but of course it doesn't work out that way, because all of those things are addictions. They're addictions created because we refuse to forgive.

There's somebody in our past, probably our dad, and probably our mother, who had the attitude that men play around, and you've got to put up with that. They also had the attitude that as long as the man thinks that you're his goddess, it doesn't really matter what he does. He can go and cheat, as long as he still thinks that you're the goddess. He can have sex with other women, that's fine as long as he thinks that you're the goddess, as long as he thinks you're the muse. As long as you're the one that gets all the adoration and attention, everything's fine.

These are all addictions. We wouldn't have attracted that man if we were conscious of the fact that this was the kind of man we were attracting. We would go, "I don't want that. It doesn't even matter if he is my soulmate. I'm not living with him until he sorts that out." Isn't that what we would do?

The reality is, here's an example ... Most people would go, "He cheated on me. I'm angry with him. I suppose I have to forgive him." No you don't. You have to repent for the fact that you attracted him into your life because you refused to forgive somebody else.

Participant Male: So, you have to repent for the fact that you've now dragged someone else into all of that, and involved them in all of that and projected that onto them, and have this yucky, shit relationship.

Jesus: Correct. You've involved them in all of your drama because you refuse to forgive somebody else in your childhood. Yes.

Participant Male: You can't blame them for that?

Jesus: No you can't.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: Like, you can't. How can you blame them? They weren't there in your childhood when you first had that injury. They weren't there with your choice to not deal with that injury. It was probably your parents who also told you not to deal with it. There are two things to forgive them for, but the person you've just attracted probably wasn't that person who was there. Do you follow?

Participant Male: I do, but I still want to say, "But they did the bad thing though. They did the bad thing."

Jesus: I can feel the "buts" coming at me. Fair enough. You want to go, "But, but, but ..." But I'm telling you.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: This is why you don't forgive. This is why you don't repent. Because you're not even seeing the truth of what's going on in every relationship. I can't blame my ex-wife, ex-partner, whatever, for the fact that I attracted her into my life. That was my choice. When are you going to own up to your own choices? When?

Then when they go away and do something that is in harmony with my soul condition, because I refused to forgive something in my childhood, what can I expect? Of course that's what they were going to do. I attracted that kind of person for a reason, because I had refused to forgive somebody else.

16.3. Forgiveness is immediate when we are at-one with God

Jesus: Now I'm not talking about where you're at-one with God and somebody actually comes along and harms you. If that actually happened, do you know what? You wouldn't feel any sadness at all. You would automatically forgive because when you are at-one with God, you forgive as the deed occurs.

This is how God forgives. When you're at-one with God, somebody could be punching you in the nose and you're forgiving them before they even begin to do it, because you can feel their intention to do it, and you're already forgiving them for that. That's where you're headed if you really want to forgive. That's where it will be in the end.

16.4. The Divine Love Path is fair from God's perspective

Jesus: How are you going to get from where you are now, which is, "I don't want to bloody forgive anybody because they all did the damage and they should go and fix everything"? ‒ bearing in mind that it's pretty impossible to fix what's inside of you if you refuse to do anything about it, but that's how we feel. And so what we do is we blame them, blame them, blame them for the rest of our life. Of course we never forgive, and so what are we on? We're on the Natural Love Path where the Law of Compensation is going bang, bang, bang, bang, bang at us all the time because we refuse to forgive.

I didn't say that the Divine Love Path was fair in terms of your concept currently of fair. To me it's very fair, but ‒ God's concept of fair. You want it to be fair ‒ your concept of fair. To be frank with you, this is what your concept of fair is. "If that person did something to me, I should be able to do that to that person." That's your concept of fair. That's exactly what most of you do in your day-to-day life. "If that person gets angry with me, or even if I think they're angry with me, that gives me enough feelings inside to feel like I can be angry in return." That's what you classify as fair.

I classify that as stupid. It is stupid. What's going to happen? They do something to me. I do something back to them. They do something to me, because they could use the same reasoning as I just used, to do something back at me. Then I do something back at them, and they do something back at me.

Society's idea of fairness is retaliation

Sooner or later one of us is going to escalate, aren't we? Sooner or later we're going to say, "You've done two things now. You've done three things now. That warrants a bazooka. A gun is not enough." Then it's four things, five things; that warrants an atomic bomb. You know, just a normal conventional warhead is not enough. This is where we go. This is how we think. You call that fair. That's not fair.

How is that fair? No one benefits from that. Every person in that cycle is destroyed through the process of the cycle. That's not love. It's never going to be love, but that's what you believe is fair. That's how you feel things should happen from your hurt. You feel, if somebody has hurt you, you should be able to hurt them, or somebody should hurt them, or let's say, "Oh, you're too nice. God should hurt them." This is the religious concept, isn't it now? What is the general religious concept of God? God is going to punish all the wicked, who were all wicked to me. Isn't that the concept? And where did that concept come from? "Oh, I'm too nice to punish them. I love. But I want God to punish them for me." That is all out of harmony with love of course. God is never going to do it because it's not part of that law.

16.5. An example of repenting towards a mother because of not forgiving a father

Participant Male: Is it possible that I need to repent to my mother because I haven't forgiven my father?

Jesus: Those kinds of things we can deal with in more detail as we progress, because we've still not really presented you with the whole concept, before you can see the relationships of what's going on. As a quick answer to your question, yes, it is possible, depending on what you chose to do and what age you chose to do it. If you were just a little kid and you chose to do it, then my suggestion is, well that was a lot depending upon the emotions from both your mother and your father as well.

Once you forgive, it is highly likely that you would never do that again. You wouldn't blame your mother after you have forgiven. The key thing to remind yourself is: if it is mum and dad, the majority of the time it's going to be forgiveness that you're going to have to look at, not repentance. If it's other people you drew into your life after seven years of age, the majority of times it's going to be repentance you’re going to have to look at, not forgiveness. There are a few exceptions of course, but those will be very few actually.

16.6. Receiving God's Love requires that we repent

Jesus: Okay, let's proceed. Let's look at the effect of the repentance relationships on receiving God's Love. Receiving God's Love requires that I repent for my unloving choices towards others or myself. Why? Why does it require that? I think it makes quite a lot of sense, doesn't it? You've purposely harmed others. They are God's children. Why do you think that you should receive love now that you've harmed other people, when really you have no desire to correct the harm?

The feeling of repentance causes you to have a desire to correct the harm. Now of course, this is more in line with how God feels about what you should be doing, so naturally you will receive God's Love once you repent.

16.7. Suffering cannot cease until we repent

Jesus: Suffering cannot cease until I repent for my unloving choices. Why? Well it's quite simple. If suffering ceased before you repented, then you probably wouldn't bother repenting. You would have no motivation to do it. God is always trying to motivate you in the right direction. All of God's Laws have been created to motivate you from the place of unwillingness to love, to willingness to love. God is saying that part of your willingness to love is about repentance. What God wants to do, is provide you with motivation to get from the unwillingness condition to the willingness condition.

16.8. Addictions are automatically created when we refuse to repent

Jesus: When we refuse to repent we automatically create addictions as well. We create addictions because whenever there's a requirement of us repenting, there's damage in our soul, hurt, that's a direct result of our refusal to repent. That hurt will naturally be created if we don't allow ourselves to feel it, and most of us don't. That will naturally create a layer on top of addictions, which we want fulfilled.

16.8.1. An example of smacking children

Jesus: This is where many parents go into addiction with their children. Their addiction with their child is, "You've got to agree with me all the time." Why does a parent want the child to agree with it all the time? Because as soon as the child does not agree with it, one of the parent's emotions are triggered. The parent doesn't want that, doesn't want to feel the emotion, and so doesn't want to feel that they actually did something wrong. And what the parent does is teach the child to agree with the parent, which is an addiction of the parent.

For example, the parent is smacking the child and saying, "I'm doing this for your own good." I'd love to use that argument in court one day. Like, you smack somebody out walking down the street and you go to court, and you say to them, "I did it for his own good, your Honour." That's going to work, right? But that's what we do as parents with our children. We say we did it for their own good. I can't agree.

Well quite often we say, "Oh, well I didn't do it very often." As if, like, the occasional violent treatment once a month, or once a year, was okay. Can you imagine standing before your Honour and saying, "But I only belted him seven times in his entire life." Wouldn't your Honour say to you, "Seven times. Okay, you just admitted to six more ones than I caught you for. What are we going to do about those?"

The way it works with God, God knows everything that's gone on. Once we become at-one with God we will know everything that's gone on, that we did, and the damage that it did to other people. We will know. We will know and no longer have any emotional signature of it, because we've gone through every emotion associated with what that damage was.

16.9. An example of an emotionally absent father creating soul damage

Participant Female: I understand when a parent causes your pain, or suppresses your pain, but what of an example of an emotionally absent father ...

Jesus: That causes pain, doesn't it?

Participant Female: But he's not intentionally malicious.

Jesus: Yes, but he's still doing it, so there is certainly a compensatory effect upon his soul for the damage he's caused. What should a parent do? Remember, a sin is anything that's done that's out of harmony with love. Would a person who gives birth to you, who creates you, decide to completely ignore you if they loved you? No, so he's done something out of harmony with love. Whether he believes he has or not is immaterial. He has. It's damage and you're going to have to at some point forgive him for it, and at some point he's going to have to repent for it because he was unloving.

Participant Female: So it's the only kind of relationship that when love is not given, and that pain is there, that it's not an addiction before the age of seven years old with a parent.

Jesus: Now you're getting technical again. Remember, I said it's all through your life.

Participant Female: If someone doesn't love you that's just, like, "They don't have to love me?"

Jesus: They don't, but your parent does.

Participant Female: I get you.

Jesus: Can you see the difference? A person who is just a person on the street, even your soulmate, is just another person. Your parent purposefully chose to bring you into this world. They purposefully chose to do a number of things, and they personally chose to ignore their responsibility as a parent to educate the child. They personally chose to avoid the responsibility of showing the child what love is. They personally chose to avoid the other responsibilities. What I would classify as sins of omission, is what they did. They omitted to do a lot of things they should have done.

Remember I said that there are sins of omission and there are sins of commission? Both of them are things that happened, and both of them caused damage to you. Both of them have caused pain and so both of them are going to need to be repented for.

God's Laws, hey? They are so fine, aren't they? You can see becoming at-one with God is going to require a bit of refinement.

Participant Female: I'm feeling more and more in my case, a lot of it was my mum's feelings towards men, and that's the intensity of the emotion and neediness that I have. My father was that absent father, but there's going to be a lot of repentance towards, I mean, sorry ...

Jesus: Forgiveness.

Participant Female: Forgiveness.

Jesus: Yes. We even get it mixed up. But go on.

Participant Female: There might be a reason I forgot that. That part.

Jesus: Because internally the feeling you actually have, is that you must have done something wrong for your father to avoid you.

Participant Female: There just must have been something really repulsive about me really. Yes.

Jesus: And so you're attempting to repent for being bad. You think that that is somehow going to bring your father close to you. The reality is, that's the wrong emotion to feel. You'll be in that emotion for the rest of your life and nothing will change, because it's actually not a valid emotion in this relationship. The valid emotion is that your father, by his absence, caused you to feel like you were unworthy of a man's attention and approval.

Participant Female: Okay, and what about my mum controlling that relationship though?

Jesus: Of course, your mum wanted him out the door. So how culpable is she for his absence?

Participant Female: Oh, right. Okay. Yes.

Jesus: She's greatly culpable for his absence, but it doesn't stop the fact that your father just went along with her silly demands.

Participant Female: He just met her addiction, basically.

Jesus: Well he met her addiction for control. See, a good dad would go, "No, stuff you, woman. I'm still wanting to have a relationship with my daughter." And if he'd truly forgiven the woman he wouldn't even say, "Stuff you," would he? He would say, "Look, you're in total error there. I'm still wanting a relationship with my daughter. I want to show my daughter that I love her and I care about her, and I'm going to do that, and if it means having to take you to court twenty-five times, then that's probably what I'm going to do." Like, until he ran out of money or funds and then he would have a cry about it probably.

Participant Female: I thank you so much for that clarification. Yes. Thanks.

Jesus: See, you can demonstrate as a parent, through your actions to the child, that you care about them. Even if the other parent doesn't even want you in their life, you can still demonstrate to the child that you care about it, by doing all sorts of things to it.

Let's say the other parent, and even a court, says that you can't have anything to do with them. Well you can write letters to them, you could send them things you want to send them. Communicate with them. You could do all sorts of things to still show the child. If you were truly caring, this is what you would do. You would show the child that you love them. You wouldn't just go, "Oh, you know, my wife hates me and she's turned all the kids against me so I'm not going to do that anymore. What's the point? I just feel like there's a lot of hurt there." There might be, but you haven't felt it. Your refusal to forgive all that hurt, now causes you to hurt your own child, who now has a whole heap of hurt to forgive you for.

A person who loves wouldn't do that. A person who loves would go, "It doesn't matter how much my wife doesn't want me in my son or daughter's life. If I love my son or daughter I am going to take actions to make sure that I at least have some interaction, which demonstrates to that son or daughter that I love them." I would do that.

I have done that. I've gone through a relationship breakdown where my children were with my ex-partner and I had to do all that. She tried to attempt me, religiously and societally, to stop me having access to my boys. So I went through all those emotions. It was very emotional. I chose to feel the feelings and as a result it was over very quickly. A year, eighteen months, it was all done; then they came to live with me anyway. I've been through all these emotions. You've got to do the right ones.

17. Examples of forgiveness and repentance relationships

Jesus: Okay, let's keep going. What we've done, is come to some examples, and perhaps what we need to do, rather than listing the examples that I've got here, is we probably need to talk about some of your examples. Does that sound alright? If you think of any examples, now is the time to actually discuss some of them, and we can sort of work out what has to happen. Does that sound okay with you?

17.1. An example of the family dynamic of a participant who doesn't trust women

Participant Female: In the exercise I was talking about the other day, of me not trusting my sisters, and then my Law of Attraction reinforcing that I can't trust my sisters, I needed to just forgive my sisters and then those Laws of Attraction wouldn't occur?

Jesus: Well, let's be more specific about what happened.

Participant Female: I'm the youngest of five girls.

Jesus: So you've got five children. Five girls.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You're the youngest, so I will draw them in ever-decreasing sizes. Sorry about that, you might not be able to see it from the back. So there's little Barb, isn't she sweet. Okay. Mum and dad?

Participant Female: Yes. And for some unknown reason I became, it was said within the family, the favourite one. I often didn't feel that, but that's what was said.

Jesus: So a projection of emotions towards you was one of favour.

Participant Female: Only from my father.

Jesus: From your father particularly. Okay, let's just be more specific here, because this is very important.

Participant Female: My mother was actually jealous of me, I believe.

Jesus: Your mother was jealous. See, let's look at all this dynamic-wise.

17.1.1. The mother and father have a violent relationship

Jesus: Your father and your mother haven't got a good relationship.

Participant Female: No. A violent one.

Jesus: Which is pretty normal, right? When I say that, the violence is not normal, but not having a good relationship is pretty normal. The husband and the wife ... there's something that the husband wasn't getting from the wife, which is probably sexual attention and approval.

Participant Female: Yes. My mother would have classified having sex as a chore. For sure.

Jesus: Yes, so he's not getting ...

Participant Female: Especially after seven children.

Jesus: Yes. He's not getting a person who really wants him. Who wants him sexually, who wants him emotionally. He's getting a person who is reluctantly involved. Now he gets angry about that. He's sad about that really, he's sad. He refuses to feel his sadness. Instead what does he do? He gets angry. What does he do to your mum?

Participant Female: Beats her.

Jesus: Beats her up. That's not good, is it? Of course, she's not seeing that his beating her is the direct result of her refusal to actually engage a man sexually. She doesn't even see that. She thinks that's normal, so both of them have a problem there. She's refusing to forgive her relationship with someone else, and he is refusing to forgive his relationship with someone else, so they attract each other and then this dynamic gets established.

17.1.2. The father establishes a co-dependent relationship with his youngest daughter, the participant

Jesus: Of course, now your dad doesn't have anybody who is giving him any sexual approval or attention, or anything, so what does he do? Where does he get it from?

Participant Female: Cute little Barbara.

Jesus: Exactly. He starts getting it from there. He starts favouring one or more of his ... like, if he had boys he wouldn't favour the boys, right? He would favour the girls.

Participant Female: The boys came next. Yes.

Jesus: You've got boys, but dad is not interested in boys, right? Okay. He's favouring the last girl. By this stage of course, the relationship between the parents is quite bad right?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So he's favouring you. Now he's got a whole heap of emotions towards you. What does he want? He's wanting to groom you now into his surrogate wife, basically, without the sex. That's what he's trying to groom you into, isn't he?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: To give him a whole heap of emotions that he couldn't get from his wife, because she was all shut down to those emotions. And he wanted that from her because of all of his harm, from all of his ...

Participant Female: I also had to become the achiever in all of that as well.

Jesus: Of course. You had to prove yourself to your daddy.

Participant Female: Right.

Jesus: You had to prove yourself to him. That's a co-dependent addiction. He's trying to say he's giving you some things, but you've got to give him something in return.

Participant Female: Right. Yes.

Jesus: Yes. Okay.

17.1.3. The mother is jealous of her youngest daughter, the participant

Participant Female: And in that, my sisters are getting jealous and angry of me.

Jesus: Why are they getting jealous?

Participant Female: Because they're not getting the attention.

Jesus: Correct. They're not getting any attention from any male in the family. They're not getting any validation as a girl, or as a woman. They're not getting any approval or acceptance because you're getting it all. So what do they do?

Participant Female: Oh, they played, you know, tricks and getting angry with me.

Jesus: No, no, no. Let's reverse the loop. What did your mother do?

Participant Female: My mother was jealous.

Jesus: Your mother was jealous. She was jealous. What else?

Participant Female: I was at the end of the line, as far as my mother was concerned. The other sisters came before me, as far as my mother was concerned.

Jesus: Okay. You became the last on your mother's list, therefore the least desired and wanted, from your mother's perspective.

Participant Female: From mother’s, yes, correct.

Jesus: To dad you're the most desired and wanted, but from your mother's perspective you're the least desired and wanted.

Participant Female: Yes. True. Yes.

Jesus: Who modelled the bad treatment of your sisters towards you?

Participant Female: My mother.

Jesus: Your mother. She taught them how to treat you. Do you get that?

Participant Female: Yes, I do.

Jesus: She taught them, through her own unwillingness to deal with her own hurt. She created an addiction, which was: get the woman whom the man likes and treat her badly. That's what you do. That's how you feel good about yourself. That's how you treat her. She modelled that behaviour to the other four children, the other four girls. So of course, what will they start doing?

Participant Female: Modelling the same behaviour.

Jesus: Modelling the same behaviour.

A female participant who is the youngest of five girls (centre, right) has a co-dependent emotionally incestuous relationship set up by her father (top left), who is not receiving sexual attention and approval from his wife (top right). This causes the mother to be jealous of the youngest girl, and models behaviour towards the youngest girl that the other sisters (centre) follow.

17.1.4. The participant develops an addiction to being superior

Jesus: Then you develop, what? You've got to have some way of coping with it, so what do you do?

Participant Female: It was a bit of control and superiority, and fun ...

Jesus: Okay. Your daddy's always saying you're superior, so what you do is: you rub it in.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: "I'm better than you girls. You can punish me all you like but I know I'm better." Because daddy's taught you that you're better.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: And it's also a rebellion against your mother's treatment of you.

17.1.5. The mother grooms her other daughters' unloving behaviour towards the participant

Jesus: But you're not seeing it as your mother. You're seeing it as?

Participant Female: My sisters.

Jesus: Your sisters. So who do you have to forgive?

Participant Female: Because my mother was very silent in all of this.

Jesus: I don't care how silent she was. She was the main perpetrator of all of this behaviour. All of those girls perpetrated what your mother wanted to do to you but couldn't, because if she did, what would have happened? Daddy would have smacked her around some more.

Participant Female: More.

Jesus: That's why she didn't do it. That's the only reason why. She wanted to, but the only reason why she stopped doing it, didn't want to do it, didn't do it, is that she was afraid of your father. What did she do instead? Approve of your sisters doing it for her, so now you have a lot of feelings towards your sisters about having done it. Of course they also have a lot of feelings towards you, because of the favouritism system with the father.

Participant Female: Yes, and I'm not innocent in it. Like, my projections towards my sisters were … you know.

Jesus: Yes that's right. You played it out. But what were you playing out? You were playing out the unhealed dynamic of your parents.

17.1.6. The participant and her sisters need to forgive their parents

Jesus: What all of you children are going to have to do first, is forgive your parents. You're going to have to see what they did. You see, at the moment you're seeing each other, and you're completely ignoring what your parents did. Do you see?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Then you're saying, "You've got to forgive me; I've got to repent for what I did to you. You've got to repent for what you did to me," and all this kind of stuff. The reality is, what's the main problem? Nobody's facing the truth of what mum and dad did.

Participant Female: No, because we were considered the "Brady Bunch," you know? In the public's eye.

Jesus: All of you are not facing the truth of what mum and dad did.

Participant Female: Yes. And then after both mum and dad died, and dad died later, the anger that came up in the family amongst the siblings was massive.

Jesus: Of course. The boys are totally ostracised, totally removed from this entire thing because mum hates them, and dad doesn't want them, so they are like, the end of the chain. Then all the fights between the girls are going to flare up, because the only controlling factor before then was daddy's approval. And it's all gone. Of course it's going to end up in a great big fight. These are the dynamics.

17.1.7. The participant's attractions with women and men in her adult life

Participant Female: So then my Law of Attraction with sisters in my later life.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: Things like, a great girlfriend who said that she wanted me to be her sister, because she didn't have any other sisters. Then two weeks later she throws me out on the street. Therefore I can't trust my sisters. She didn't love me like she said she loved me.

Jesus: Yes. Keep going. Workmates ...

Participant Female: I always found in the work environment, and in a lot of environments, particularly when I was younger, not when I got older, there was always a jealousy. Yes.

Jesus: Correct. Who did you have a relationship with in your work environment?

Participant Female: All the men, not the women.

Jesus: The men. Yes. Of course. You're just acting out the exact same pattern with your daddy.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: And then of course the women project all their jealousy and all their anger and rage at you as well, and you just say, "Well, that's what women are like."

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: "That's why I like men ..."

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: "... because that's what women are like." But you're not seeing that you're attracting all of that mess, because of the refusal to actually face the truth about the dynamic going on between mum and dad, and how it affected you truly, emotionally.

Participant Female: Yes. I'd always thought when I got older that would stop, because then I wouldn't be so attractive, or interested by men, so the women wouldn't be jealous of me anymore, and these things wouldn't happen anymore.

Jesus: In other words you are saying that, "All of these attractions are based on my body."

Participant Female: (Laughs) That's why they were jealous.

Jesus: "It's got nothing to do with my soul or the emotions. It's just all to do with my body. Once my body is all decrepit and all urgh, it will all stop there."

Participant Female:

I used to put my age up by ten years.

Jesus: It doesn't work, right?

Participant Female: I'm finding that now.

Jesus: It's in your soul!

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: It's in your soul. All the damage in your soul is going to continue for the rest of your life. When you die it's going to be in the spirit world, keep going.

17.1.8. The participant and her sisters need to forgive their parents (continued)

Participant Female: So my first step in that is forgiving my parents.

Jesus: You've got to first come to see what they've done. You're not even wanting to do that.

Participant Female: No. That's true.

Jesus: Like, you're happy to see what your sisters have done. But you don't see the real cause of it. You see, forgiveness and repentance is all about seeing the real cause. You can't forgive something that's not the cause.

Participant Female: So I have to see my parent's injuries that they caused, forgive them for that, then I have to repent to my brothers and sisters?

Jesus: Yes, and they towards you. But once you forgive all of these things, you'll find repentance an automatic process because your avoidance of repentance towards your sisters is all about your hurt with your dad and your mum.

Participant Female: And me not willing to see it.

Jesus: Once you're willing to see all that and go through all of that, repentance for whatever you did towards your sisters will automatically happen because you will understand it all.

Participant Female: And I've been trying to repent to my sisters and that's not working.

Jesus: Of course. Yes. Do you know why? Do you know why you've been trying to repent towards your sisters?

Participant Female: It's easier.

Jesus: Because you don't want to feel the pain associated with your mum and dad.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You don't want to go through that. You don't want to actually assign the forgiveness towards the people who created the problem. You don't want to. You're resistive towards that, so the Law of Compensation and the Law of Attraction are all working to get Barb to go, "It's not your sisters. It's not your sisters." It's not your sisters; it's your mum and dad. If you forgave the right people, the whole treatment will stop.

If you're trying to forgive somebody who never caused those particular problems, then the treatment is going to continue until you face the fact that actually, "Wow. The whole reason why it's continuing is: I've tried to forgive the wrong people, and that's because I don't want to face the truth about who actually did this, and the actual emotions involved with my mum and dad, and the actual feelings my mum has, and the actual feelings my dad has, and the actual feelings that I absorbed, and how hurtful that felt, and how bad that felt."

That causes you to ignore completely. It's like: in your eyes, that's not even the issue.

Participant Female: True.

Jesus: In your mind the issue is: your sisters and how they treat you. That's your issue.

Participant Female: And this is in avoidance of it too, see. My eldest sister was responsible for bringing me up. She was eight years older than me, so I then thought, "Well, my mother wasn't really involved at all in any of this, because my sister brought me up.

Jesus: How was she not involved?

Participant Female: I know, because I'm only denying it, aren't I?

Jesus: Totally, yes. Total denial. You know the deconstruction of the facade, or the deconstruction process? You're at denial, the first point, when it comes to this issue. You're sitting home analysing, "All this stuff going on with my sisters. I have to repent towards my sisters," and all that kind of stuff. You're analysing all this, and I know you have talked about it with me before. Actually, it's the wrong thing you're talking about. The real thing that you need to talk about is what you're in complete denial of, which is how mum and dad interacted with you, and what dynamic that created in the rest of the family.

Participant Female: Not only that. Me attaching myself to my father like that and wanting that special treatment, and being special in the family. There's a lot of repentance I need to do to my brothers and sisters, because they felt that so ...

Jesus: Why? Why? How old were you when this dynamic was established?

Participant Female: Oh, under three probably.

Jesus: So you're saying you've got to repent for something you did under three years of age? Is this what you're telling me?

Participant Female: No, I carried it on for the rest of my life.

Jesus: I know you carried it on for the rest of your life, but you're telling me that you have to repent for the fact that this all got established by the time you were three? That's what you're telling me.

Participant Female: (Crying)

Jesus: Yes. No, you don't.

Participant Female: But my brothers and sisters have suffered terribly because of it.

Jesus: No, they haven't suffered because of you. They've suffered because of your parents. You see? See, the trouble is, they think the same way you do. That is, you think you've suffered because of them, and they think they've suffered because of you, and even you think they've suffered because of you. The reality is: no, you've all suffered because of your parents and their inability to actually go through forgiveness and repentance. That's why you've all suffered.

By the time you were three years of age, you can't say that you're now responsible for the choices of your father, or your mother. You're trying to be responsible for it. Why is that? Because it's preferable to you. Why is it preferable to you? Because it was preferable to your mum and dad for you to blame you. It still is. If you feel them in the spirit world, they still prefer to blame you. They haven't got any responsibility for creating such a mess. It's their mess, but you're unwilling to see their mess.

Mary: I think, Barb, the thing that you're missing is your own suffering in that dynamic. You see that your brothers and sisters suffered because you were favoured, but you're not seeing how difficult it was for you being favoured. You're seeing that it was preferential for you, but I feel, when you actually connect to those feelings, you will feel that it was quite a burden.

Jesus: Very much a burden.

Mary: And that it wasn't actually nice.

Jesus: Because if you think about it, the whole reason why your mother treated you so badly, was because of your father's favour. Can you see that that alone created a huge burden for you?

Participant Female: And then I had to become the achiever within the family as well.

Jesus: Yes, for your father.

Participant Female: For my father.

Jesus: To maintain approval for your father. Yes. Because your mum didn't care less. She would have preferred that you did nothing for the rest of your life.

Participant Female: Yes. Thank you, AJ.

Jesus: Can you see how mixed up we get? We just get so mixed up with this. We're trying to forgive people that we need to repent for, and we try to repent for things we should be forgiving people for. It's no wonder we're so mixed up about it, so we give the whole thing up and we try to intellectually analyse the whole thing. Before we know it we're in such a great big mess, because there's a whole heap of things we're refusing to accept. That's always the dynamic.

17.2. An example of a participant repenting for damage caused by his pandering to women

Participant Male: I'm wondering about the process of repenting to my kids for the damage I've caused to them.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Male: Especially in pandering to their mother.

Jesus: Okay. Let's go through that ‒ especially in pandering to their mother. Because what's happening in Paul's family is, particularly the male, but also both your sons and your daughter are struggling getting attention from their mother, aren't they? Getting what I would call "love" from their mother. So let's look at Paul's life.

17.2.1. The participant is groomed as a surrogate husband by his mother during childhood

Jesus: Let's look at your parents. What were mum and dad like?

Participant Male: Dad was angry and controlling, and mum was passive and pleasing.

Jesus: Yes. She was passive and pleasing, yes. Did she like your dad very much?

Participant Male: I don't think so.

Jesus: No. So what did she do when she had some children? How many children?

Participant Male: Eleven.

Jesus: Eleven. That's a lot of children, isn't it? How many boys? How many girls?

Participant Male: Eight girls. Three boys.

Jesus: Three times boys. Which one are you?

Participant Male: I'm the sixth child. Number six.

Jesus: In the number of boys?

Participant Male: Oh. Last boy.

A participant, who is the last boy, has an angry father and a passive mother

Jesus: You're the last boy, so Paul's the last boy. And there are eight girls. Is that right? Okay. So what did your mum decide to do with you?

Participant Male: Make me special.

Jesus: Yes. She made you special. Why did she make you special?

Participant Male: Because of dad.

Jesus: She wasn't getting that from him, was she?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: She wasn't getting that from the man. Of course she attracted that man in the first place to try to get that from him, but of course that didn't work. She instead just attracted a man who was abusive with her, and so she's not getting her emotional addiction met, and she doesn't want to release the pain that she has, about not being the man's favourite. She doesn't want to do that. She's avoiding that.

So what does she do? She grabs one of the boys. The last boy, by the time the last boy comes along, or by the time four or five children have happened, she's really quite bitterly upset with her husband. Isn't she? Can you imagine? She's not getting any love. She's getting anger, disapproval from him all the time. She's pretty upset by now, with him, so she's not wanting to give him anything. And she wants to create the perfect boy, so what does she do? She gets the last boy, and she grooms him. What does she groom him to become? Any ideas?

Participant Female: Like the surrogate husband.

Jesus: Yes. All the things she's not getting from her husband and never got from her father, she wants from this man. This boy. And she sucks him dry with it, so what does he grow up learning to do? Paul can answer that. What did you grow up learning to do?

Participant Male: Being a good boy. Being pleasing.

Jesus: Give them whatever they want. This woman is by this stage pretty angry, even though it's suppressed. Pretty angry, but she can't be overtly angry and rageful because she would just get more anger back, wouldn't she? So she's pretty angry and rageful towards men. She's created the perfect boy to feed all of her addictions that she's not getting met through any other source, so he grows up in this state.

17.2.2. The participant marries a woman whom he panders to

Jesus: You've grown up in this state where now you bend over backwards to help any woman. You please them, and please them, and please them. You get married. Now we talk about the dynamic of your marriage. You get married. Who do you attract?

Participant Male: An angry woman.

Jesus: An angry woman, yes, who you ...

Participant Male: Pander to.

Jesus: Pander to. Okay. In pandering to her you make her even more of a person who believes that she's right, you're wrong, she's good, you're bad. In pandering to her you're basically telling her that everything she thinks is good, and everything that you do for her is because you love her and care about her, so she becomes the focus of the entire family's attention.

17.2.3. The participant teaches his sons that they need to please women

Jesus: So then you have children. How many?

Participant Male: Three children.

Jesus: Three children. Two boys?

Participant Male: Yes. The eldest two are boys.

Jesus: And one girl.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Okay. Now what do you think the kids are feeling from this relationship now? What are they feeling?

Participant Female: You've got to please the woman.

Jesus: Exactly. If you don't please the woman, what happens?

Participant Female: She's going to get angry.

Jesus: She's going to get angry. And daddy models that behaviour. Because it's so intense now, by the time these boys get to young teenage years, they're now starting to feel, what? What are they starting to feel? There's all this pressure on them to become like dad, and all dad does is actually feed the woman's addictions. He doesn't even honour them, so what are they starting to feel through this process?

Participant Female: Well, that they're not as important, and their wills and desires aren't as important, as the woman's, and that everything has got to be suppressed to meet the woman's needs and addictions.

Jesus: Yes, and so what are they going to feel about their sister?

Participant Female: It could be resentful.

Jesus: It could be resentful, jealous.

Participant Female: Jealous.

Jesus: Yes. They will always be trying to get mummy's approval because they never have it.

Participant Female: Oh, okay.

Jesus: She's angry with men, and daddy wants mummy's approval too, so do they get much of dad's attention?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: No. After a while, can you see that the anger from that situation would build up in them, wouldn't it? Eventually they would get quite angry about that, don't you think? Of course they're going to get angry. Then of course, when they get angry the woman says to the man, "You fix that; they're all angry. "How dare they?"

He says, "How dare they?" And bang, bang, bang. Or, "How dare they? You shouldn't do that." Or, "How dare they?" Sit them down, have a chat with them. For the woman, you know, because she shouldn't have to do all that. Because she doesn't want to do any of that.

Participant Male: Yet everything revolved around placating her anger. In the family.

Jesus: Correct. Everything. And now everything is revolved around placating that.

The participant (male, top right) panders to his angry wife, and teaches his sons to do the same

17.2.4. The participant needs to forgive his mother

Jesus: Now the question you asked is, "What do I do about repentance towards my children?" Well what's the source of the problem?

Participant Male: My mother's relationship with me?

Jesus: Yes. That's one of the sources. You've got your mother, and your relationship with your mother, which you have refused to forgive. What's the other part of the problem?

Participant Male: My neediness? Is that I put the angry woman before the children?

Jesus: You did. You did all of that because of the relationship with your mother. You got taught to do that. It's your natural response.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: It's your addiction, but it's natural because it was taught to you at such a young age it was a part of your facade. It's what you had to do.

Participant Male: Yes.

The male participant (middle, right) needs to forgive his mother (above, right) for teaching him to pander to women

17.2.5. The participant's wife needs to work through issues about wanting men to pander to her

Jesus: What's the other half of the equation though? It's your wife's treatment, isn't it? What did she do?

Participant Male: Her treatment of our children?

Jesus: Well no, how she was treated.

Participant Male: Yes, okay.

Jesus: Isn't it?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Obviously some male, or some female in her life, taught her that women are like, goddesses. Men and other plebs are who serve them.

Participant Male: Yes, that's right. Yes.

Jesus: That’s what she was taught, isn't it? She's going to have to work her way through that.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Now, you focus on you, because you can't focus on her. There's nothing you can do about her.

17.2.6. The participant needs to forgive his mother (continued)

Jesus: So what do you do? Can you see that if you forgave your mother, the feelings in you that cause you to pander to angry women would disappear? Can you see that?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: So the very first thing you need to do is go through forgiveness of your mother.

Participant Male: Yes. Okay.

Jesus: Because it's going to be impossible for you to repent towards your children, if you still have the same feelings that you should serve a woman like this. The reality is that you do have the same feelings. Right now, you know you do.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: And while that feeling remains in you, how can you repent? You can't.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: So one of the first things you're going to have to do, is forgive your mother. Can you see, soon after you've forgiven your mother, all the reasons inside of you as to why you pander to angry women, will disappear?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Now you will be able to go to your boys and say, "Right, I'm going to show you how to actually deal with this problem." See, at the moment you can't show them, because you're still in the feeling of wanting to pander to them. You still attract women who are angry. You still bow to their desires and wants and needs. Yes?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: That's what you do. If you think about all the conversations we've ever had, what have I said to you every time?

Participant Male: ... was about this neediness for women, and attracting angry women, and pleasing, and all that.

Jesus: I've been trying to point you in this direction for how long now?

Participant Male: Yes, four and a half years.

Jesus: See, there's a reason why I say things to people. I've been trying to say to Paul ... he's so focused on his kids, and the damage he's doing to his kids, and that's well and good. It is good to see the damage you're doing to your kids, but you're not seeing that the reason for the damage is the relationship between you and your mother.

Once you resolve that relationship, and remove from within you the reason for hurt inside of you with women, about that thing, what will happen is that the feeling of that hurt will disappear. You will have forgiven your mother and you will no longer see pandering to a woman as a valid option, particularly to an angry woman. You would never do it, ever. As soon as that occurs, you would now be modelling to your children the correct behaviour with an angry woman. Immediately.

As soon as that occurs you would probably also, very rapidly, go through repentance about what you have done to your children. But the real cause is the lack of forgiveness towards your mother.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: That's why I've been saying to you for four years that it's such an important thing to deal with.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Yes. Without you addressing that particular issue, this other issue, the feelings you feel, of culpability towards your children about what you've modelled for them, can't disappear, because the emotion inside of you is still saying, "You need to pander to the angry woman." No matter what words you have, the emotion's going, "You need to pander to the angry woman."

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: While that emotion is coming out of you, even talking to them is dangerous because you're actually modelling hypocrisy. This is because you still have the feeling that you should pander, while at the same time telling them they shouldn't.

Now once you emotionally stop pandering, you will find that your boys, in particular, will rapidly model their behaviour on yours.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: But until then they're going to be bitter and twisted with both of you. With both parents.

Participant Male: Yes, thank you.

Jesus: Does that help in terms of an interaction? You can see what's going on there? Is this helping in terms of understanding what the principles are? Yes? So now, has Paul's wife damaged Paul further, really? Not very much. Not really. He was already damaged before she met him. In fact, he probably wouldn't have met her if he wasn't already damaged. Can you see that?

In a way he needs to repent towards her. He needs to repent towards her for attracting her into his life and adding to the mess. Who does he need to forgive? His mother. Who is the other person he needs to repent towards? His children. Not his daughter. Who said his daughter?

Who do you think is Paul's favourite? I'm saying he needs to repent towards all of his children, but who do you think has got the most damage from this? The daughter, or the sons? The sons! Not the daughter. Why? Because the daughter gets mum's approval for being a girl, and she gets dad's approval for being a girl, and she gets daddy pandering to her every need, so of course she is going to have fewer feelings of anger and rage, and other feelings like that. She gets whatever she wants. It's the boys that don't get anything out of this emotionally.

18. Closing words

Jesus: Okay. Want to have another break? It must be time for one I think. I've been going for another hour I think. What is the time? Twenty to three! Okay. (Laughter) Fair enough. What happened to all that time? I must have been having fun or something. I think it's probably good to discuss with the entire group, isn't it, illustrations of this, rather than doing the personal truth sessions today.

So what if we just have another one or two examples before dinner? Then that's it for today. But I haven't covered with you the other part, which is another hour and a half discussion. Well maybe we won't even get to that actually. We are discussing some of it now, so okay. There comes a time too when I get tired of talking, believe it or not. (Laughter)

Forgiveness & Repentance Concepts P3

19. Repentance is linked to forgiveness

Jesus: Okay, let us get back to it. What we want to do now is just add something for you to contemplate. Do you remember that dynamic? We've now established the forgiveness paths and the repentance paths. Okay? What we want to do is just describe if you like, a little bit of a thing that you need to understand. That is this.

Other people do damage to harm me in my childhood, so we just write in there "others damage me." Now what we could do is forgive them. We could forgive them. At this point we could have forgiven them. But what did we choose to do instead? We chose instead to not forgive them, and not feel the pain of what they did.

In fact, we are so disconnected from this pain that we won't even accept the truth about it, let alone forgive it. That's how disconnected we are. Of course they helped us in that process by moulding us to not accept it. But anyway, there's a refusal to forgive. We refuse to forgive.

What does that do inside of us? It creates all these emotional holes that aren't patched up. What do we do with these emotional holes? What are emotional holes? They're just emotional holes initially, aren't they? What are they? Just emotional needs, shall we call them? They're not really true needs, by the way. Emotional holes, or needs, things that we want.

What do we do to get those met? What do we do then? We create addictions. We create addictions to fill up those emotional holes, or needs. That's what we do. Okay, so we create the addiction. In the process of creating the addiction, what do we do to somebody else? We damage others. Then when we damage others, what do we refuse to do? We refuse to repent.

Participant Male: A pattern that I'm starting to see now, and from the last two, is that it's basically impossible to repent unless we forgive.

Jesus: Ah! Isn't that interesting? Because the cause of us taking the action that we took to damage others, actually began from our refusal to forgive. When we refuse to forgive ... and the forgiveness process we have got to go through at some point, don't we? We've got to know what it is like, and part of it is acknowledging the truth of what actually happened.

See, most of us don't even do that. We talk about our parents and we go, "Oh, it wasn't that bad, you know. It's fine." Most of us are completely unaware of the damage that was done in our childhood, let alone feel that we have to forgive somebody for it.

But the problem is, we refuse to forgive for whatever reasons. Some of them are our own, and some of them are others' ‒ people who trained us to do this, and there's a whole mixture of reasons why we refuse to forgive. We then create all these emotional holes that are unfulfilled within us, so we now need addictions to fill them up. When we have addictions we damage other people, and now we've also created a whole heap of things we need to repent for.

Can you see our refusal to forgive creates harm to other people and harm to ourselves? Our refusal to forgive is actually all based around our refusal to feel some emotions. We could simplify all this back down and go; when you refuse to feel your emotional pain you are automatically going to create addictions. You are automatically going to damage other people. You are automatically going to create more emotional pain for yourself, because you're going to need to go through the process of repentance, as well as forgiveness now.

What would make logical sense, is that we chose to forgive and then we wouldn't do the rest.

Now, imagine if we were taught that at a very young age. The choice to forgive is one of the most powerful expressions of love that you could engage. The choice to forgive. If you were taught that about love when you were little kids, do you think that you would have created a whole heap of addictions, and a whole heap of things you now need to repent for? Never. You would never have created them.

19.1. We can't go through repentance without eventually forgiving someone

Jesus: But it also shows us some other things. It shows us that we can't go through repentance without also eventually getting to the point where somebody needs to be forgiven. There is a direct link between forgiveness and repentance.

Now isn't that very interesting, don't you think? Isn't it quite a fascinating thing about the way God has designed the soul? You choose to avoid one thing, which is a loving thing you could have chosen to do. You choose to avoid it, which is an unloving choice, then you create a whole heap of results, which then create another set of pain that you will now also, at some point, need to choose to feel.

19.2. Feeling our painful emotions prevents damage to ourselves and others

Jesus: Now I find that relationship so fascinating. The reason why I find it fascinating, is the thing that I've been saying to you ever since I've known you probably is: choose to feel your own pain. Isn't that probably one of the messages I've said to you over and over again? Can you see why I've been saying it? Because that's the "forgive refuse" point on the diagram. Choosing to feel your own pain is that point.

Once you choose to feel your own pain, and go through the complete experience of your own pain, you don't do that damage to other people, and you don't create further pain for yourself that you will have to, at some point, also go through. That is a very powerful lesson.

So when I say, "Your mother did this, or your father did that," you go, "Yes, but that wasn't so bad." And I go, "What do you mean it wasn't so bad? Of course it's bad." And you go, "No, it wasn't so bad." When you do that you're choosing to refuse forgiveness. And you know, what I know is going to happen after that? You're going to hold on to your emotional holes. You're going to create addictions, which you've probably already created, and you're now also going to have additional pain, which you are going to have to repent for, besides the original pain which you needed to forgive somebody else for.

19.3. The importance of repentance in partner relationships

Jesus: Now remember earlier, Matt, you asked about relationships. I talked about a relationship, and I said that actually the person you were in a relationship with, you need to repent towards. You remember how you felt? Remember that feeling you had? "Oh, that doesn't sound right. They did things to hurt me. What do you mean?" Can you see that if you had chosen to repent towards this person, there's a high likelihood that you would have found the emotional reason that caused you to take the action in the first place. You would have found the emotional reason, which was the thing you denied, in terms of the hurt you denied inside of yourself, that you need to forgive somebody for.

Do you know what I see most people doing? They say, "The art to a good relationship is forgiveness." How many times have you heard that? I see whole books written about that. The art to a good partnership or relationship is forgiveness. Of each other, is the implication. That's the implication. Forgiveness of each other. No, I'm sorry, it's not. The art of a good relationship between partners is repentance for what you've done. Completely the opposite, because it's not your partner you need to forgive ‒ it's somebody else. You need to repent for the fact that you wanted your partner to meet your addictions, because you chose to not forgive somebody else.

The art to a good relationship is not forgiveness of your partner; it's forgiveness of your parents. It's forgiveness of all of the people in your childhood who damaged you. When I say parents, I'm talking about teachers, caregivers, the people who caused this causal damage. The red lines, here in the diagram.

Forgiveness relationships are indicated with red lines, and repentance relationships with black lines

The art to a good relationship is to forgive them. By the way, they're not in your relationship most of the time now, except through your own emotions. The art to a good relationship is actually to repent towards your partner.

You know what I see most people doing when they ask me questions about their relationships? They go, "My husband did this, my husband did that. My husband did this, my husband did that. What do I do about that? If I loved myself would I leave him or would I stay?" If you loved yourself you probably would never have attracted him in the first place. So don't go "If I loved myself ..." You don't love yourself.

If you loved yourself, you would have felt forgiveness for your parents. If you loved yourself. Then you wouldn't have attracted this man into doing these things to you, if you loved yourself. So don't ask if you loved yourself. You need to say, "I don't love myself." "I don't love myself, but what do I do in this situation?" is the question? Not, "If I loved myself would I leave him?" That's not the question.

Can you see how even our questions are totally distorted through our emotional injuries? Those distortions occur because we believe we should forgive our partner, or leave. Or do both, when the reality is that we need to repent towards our partner, or leave, and do both probably. We have everything so back to front. It's just amazing how back to front we have it. If you remind yourself of that, that every time there's something that comes up, where you've done something wrong to harm another person, you will always be able to trace it back to something you have refused to forgive. That happened, usually, way, way back in your childhood. The key is to find it.

Mary: But if we use the thing that happened in our past as an excuse for the damage we do, and if we just talk about what mum and dad did without actually feeling it, we continue to do things that we will need to repent for.

Jesus: Correct.

20. Audience questions

20.1. Starting at repentance when we can't remember what to forgive

Participant Female: I understand the dynamics of my parents, but I don't remember anything much apart from that. So if you don't know what you've got to forgive them for, where do you go?

Jesus: Well if we can't remember much, you know why that is, don't you?

Participant Female: Because I don't want to feel it.

Jesus: We're totally in denial, of everything they did, pretty much.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: That's one problem, and the way to get back, to get to remember, would be to start at "Refuse Repent," wouldn't it? What are the things that I've done to harm other people that I can at least see? Allow myself to see my avoidance of the addiction ...

Participant Female: Okay.

Jesus: ... and allow myself to see my emotional neediness, the hurts, in other words. Once we have the hurts, we will know what we need to forgive our parents for.

20.2. The difference between self-punishment and repentance

Participant Female: So I've kind of worked through, intellectually anyway ... I thought I was doing repentance but I think I was just doing self-punishment. When I think about my kids and my husband ...

Jesus: Yes. Most people self-punish at the "Refuse Repent" stage. By the way, self-punishment is a total avoidance of repentance.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: The reason why it's a total avoidance is that it doesn't actually ever know the reason why it happened. To actually heal yourself, you must know everything about why things happened. You will if you go through this emotional process.

Participant Female: So hopefully you will show us the steps for repentance and I'll have a better idea.

Jesus: If we get around to it at some point. Yes.

20.3. Identifying our emotional holes leads us to our hurt

Participant Female: I can start there, can I, with what I've done to my kids and my husband. Is that where I start with repentance, and it will kind of cascade back to ...?

Jesus: Well here's a basic truth for you. Everything you've done to your kids and your husband, whatever you've noticed, everything that you've done has been the direct result of an emotional hole inside of you.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You know what most of them are. Don't you?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So why don't you start there? List all of the emotional holes inside of you that you're trying to get satisfied from somebody else, all of the things that you want. What do you want from the kids? What do you want from hubby? What do you want from everybody around you? What do you want from your workplace, your friends? What kind of treatment do you want?

Look at the demands going out to the world around you and go, "Okay. All of these demands tell me the hurt. This hurt got into me prior to the relationships that I now have. Prior to the relationship with your husband. Prior to the relationship with your children, because your children, of course, came along after your relationship with your husband began, so prior to those things this hurt began. So where's the source of this hurt?

It's the only question we can ask after that. Where did this hurt come from? Now if you go down that track, you start to become aware that it has to have come somewhere in your childhood.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Then your mind starts opening up, and now your spirit guides can remind you of things that happened in your childhood that you have been shutting down completely, and wanting to remain unaware of, because you didn't want to go through the emotional process of forgiveness. Remember, this is an emotional process that's going to require grief, and emotions similar to grief, to be felt. It's going to require anger. It's going to require fears to be felt, grief to be felt, in order to forgive. Some of you are terrified of your parents.

20.4. The importance of seeing the truth about our parents

Participant Female: I think a lot of my problem is that my parents are quite nice people, you know.

Jesus: You see, this is what the adult self, the facade self, wants to tell ourselves, because that's what our parents told us ‒ that they are nice people. There's nothing wrong with them. They did nothing wrong. They know everything about love, and the whole reason they treated us like they did, is that we didn't know anything and we needed to be brow-beaten into submission.

Now that's not the case at all, obviously. The obvious truth is that they knew nothing about love either, and then they treated us out of harmony with love through that experience. When you say to me, "My parents are quite nice people so I can't go through the process of forgiveness," that's really what you're saying, "... because they are nice people. They did nothing wrong." You're basically saying, "I can't forgive because there's nothing to forgive."

Then I would have to ask you this question: If there's nothing to forgive, where did all this hurt come from? Are you telling me that it came from you? Just you, alone? How much of it got there before you were even a teenager?

Participant Female: Yes well, most of it.

Jesus: All of it, pretty much, and you're saying that somehow it was all your fault?

Participant Female: Yes, I think I was made to think it was my fault. I felt it was my fault when I was a child. Yes.

Jesus: So who made you think it was your fault?

Participant Female: My mother mainly, I think.

Jesus: So are your parents nice persons? Is it a nice person who gets a child, abuses the child in some way and then says, "It's all your fault I did that"? Is that a nice person? Would you classify that as a nice person? Well you just did. There's the distortion. That's how you stay away from this hurt. You tell yourself that it's all nice and lovely.

We're going to have to, at some point, have a look at what the practical, emotional blockages to forgiveness are, and what the practical, emotional blockages to repentance are. The practical, emotional blockages to forgiveness ... and you've just mentioned one of them, this belief, "My parents are nice parents and they did nothing wrong." The only other person who could have done something wrong is you, and if you're the person who did something wrong, then you're going to try and punish yourself, or be repentant, for things that actually you did not create. You're trying to repent for things you need to forgive.

Now when you try to repent for things you need to forgive, no repentance is possible, and no forgiveness is possible.

Participant Female: That's what I've been doing.

Jesus: Yes, and so what you end up in, is this really self-abusive cycle.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: It goes on for years, and years, and years. Everyone around you is worried about where you're going with it and everything, because of course it is a worry, because all you're doing is engaging an emotion where you're refusing to face the truth that actually someone else did this damage.

This is why many of you are in emotional cycles that you're not getting out of. You're not getting out of them because you're refusing to forgive the people who caused it, and you're refusing to repent towards the people who didn't cause it. Instead, you're trying to get the people who didn't cause it to be repentant towards you. In other words, you think you have to forgive them, and many of us are even unwilling to do that. Then we completely ignore, completely ignore the creation, the actual seed of these problems.

Participant Female: Thank you.

21. The importance of understanding who to forgive and who to repent towards, for rapid soul growth

Jesus: This is a big problem that we all face. We have many discussions with people, don't we, babe, about their emotional state and about their situation, what they need to do with their life in order to move forward, particularly about their emotions, as you can imagine.

Now in the process of discussion of all of these things, generally the biggest impediment to any growth that I have found, is the refusal to acknowledge that any damage was done to them, by their parents, or the refusal to acknowledge that they have done damage to other people, those two things.

Remember I said before, almost all of the pain and suffering we experience, and I feel it's all the pain and suffering we experience, is directly related to our refusal to repent or to the refusal to forgive. So every time you tell me your mum and dad are nice, or that you're nice, I'm going, "How can this be?"

A person who is at-one with God is nice. Are you at-one with God yet? No. So you're not nice yet. Nor am I. We've got things we've still got to forgive and repent for. We do. The faster we come to terms with that, the faster we come to terms with who we've got to forgive, and to whom we've got to repent, the faster everything is going to resolve.

The more resistance you have to repenting for the things that you did, and forgiving the things other people did, the more resistance you have to that, the slower you're going to progress. You're going to progress the old way, what is called the Law of Compensation way.

The Law of Compensation way is? Prod, prod, prod, prod. It's like hammering at you, trying to get you to a place where you are actually willing to repent or forgive. In between then and now is lots of pain if you do it that way. My suggestion is: quick, short, sharp pain; everything is over. It's a bit like, if you think of yourselves as wounded people.

21.1. An analogy of removing cactus spikes

Jesus: Imagine, let's say, you're riding along on your pushbike and you come around the corner and before you is a car. So you've veered off the side of the road, and there's a cactus there, and you fall in the cactus, all up your arms and your legs. Imagine that. Cactus spikes everywhere.

So there hanging in the cactus, they cut you out of the cactus. Then what do they do? Well, your idea of a nice person is somebody who leaves all the cactus things in you. That's your idea. You leave all the spikes inside of you. You go, "A nice person would just leave it all there, bind it all up for me, wrap it all around." What's going to happen in the long term? That's all going to fester. It's going to get worse and worse, isn't it? Who knows what will happen down that track.

This is how our lives have become haven't they? A big festering mess most of the time. What would have been the alternative? Somebody had to come along and be loving towards you, which was to pull out each one.

You know what it's like with just one prickle in you. It's pretty uncomfortable, isn't it? It just jangles on those nerve endings of our body. This is what it's like with the emotional injuries inside of you. They're just jangling on your nerve endings all the time and you're just wrapping them all up, and binding them all up and hoping they will go away. It's very, very unloving to yourself.

But a person who is loving would come along and pull them out. God wants to do that. God's saying to you, "The fastest way I could do that is for you to go into this process of repentance and forgiveness. The slowest way I could do that is the Law of Compensation. The Law of Compensation is going to take years for me to do that. You're going to be a bit of a festering mess for years."

You imagine lying in a hospital bed saying, "No, don't take any out. Don't take any out." Can you imagine yourself doing that? Surely what you would do instead, when you lay there in hospital is, "Get them out of me as fast as you can!" Isn't that what you would prefer? So do that the fastest way with your emotions. The fastest way is for you to come face-to-face with what you do, and come face-to-face with your addictions, so that you can see what has been done to you, the hurt that the addictions cover, so that you can forgive the people you need to forgive and then it's gone. That's the fastest way.

22. Audience questions

22.1. The importance of truth in forgiveness and repentance

Participant Female: I just want to make sure I understand. If I want to start forgiving my mother, to get into the feeling of the damage that's done by my mother, once I fully get into that emotion and become overwhelmed, then I'll naturally start towards forgiving?

Jesus: To forgive. Yes you will. But of course you've got to be honest about what happened. It's no good trying to create figments of imagination and blame your mother for that and say, "Oh, I'll go have a cry about that," when it's not something that actually happened. It has to be things that actually happened, that actually occurred. It has to be the truth.

You can't forgive things that are not true, and you can't repent for things that are not true either. Many of you are trying to repent for things that are not true, and you're trying to forgive other people for things that are not true.

For example, some of you are trying to forgive ex-partners. You don't forgive ex-partners. You repent towards ex-partners. Can you see the difference? Because the ex-partner didn't create the problem. The ex-partner was a part of your attraction to help you resolve the problem. You should thank them.

Participant Female: I'm guessing the process, like, I'm just starting to see the damage my mother has done. But there's obviously a lot of damage, a lot of different things that have been done. It's going to take a long process of forgiving, of getting into all the emotions of everything she's done and then forgiving, isn't it? So there's lots to forgive, or does it ...?

Jesus: It is a process, yes.

22.2. An example of a participant who has more injuries relating to men than women

Jesus: To be honest with you, Celia, the damage that's been done by your father is far worse than the damage that's been done by your mother. And, to be honest with you, the damage that you're doing to your son right now, is far worse than the damage that you're doing to any woman.

Participant Female: That I'm doing to any woman?

Jesus: The damage that you're doing to your son right now is worse than the damage you're doing to any woman. That tells me that your real damage is actually not related to the person you think it's related to ...

Participant Female: My father you think.

Jesus: ... but rather to your father.

Participant Female: I haven't touched on my father stuff much at all.

Jesus: You haven't touched on your father yet, yes. Your mother is where you're willing to go, because you have anger there, and you have ...

Participant Female: She's the one who is present in my life. My dad's never been present.

Jesus: Correct. So the real damage you feel is about ... and I would suggest to you that a lot of the damage that's entered you about men has come via your mother. That's where a lot of the damage exists at the moment.

Participant Female: I don't have ... because my father wasn't present, that's why I find it ...

Jesus: Think about your mother's feelings about men.

Participant Female: Yes, she hated men.

Jesus: And it's similar to some of your feelings about men. One of the reasons you are overly incestuously emotionally invested in your son, is that you're trying to create the ideal man. Instead you are creating a monster, actually.

Participant Female: Yes, I know. I'm starting to see that.

Jesus: Yes. So you can see the acting out of the damage that's there. Now this damage ... remember your mum gave birth to you and before birth there was that nine months of time when you were inside her womb. She was obviously filtering through a lot of emotions, even in that place, about men. Then what happened between dad and mum? When did he leave? Or was he even present?

Participant Female: When I was about eight.

Jesus: When you were eight. So you got the first eight years, where they obviously had a bit of a tumultuous existence, and then dad eventually left and never came back. Or did he have occasional interaction?

Participant Female: No, he never came back.

Jesus: He never came back. So he had no love either in him, otherwise he would have. Then your mother was resentful, angry, bitter and twisted about all of that. Now she is also imposing all of that emotionally upon you, and creating addictions with you, of agreement, of wanting her daughter to agree with her assessment of men and so forth. So all of this dynamic causes these emotional injuries to enter you. Now sure, you've got a lot of feelings about what mum's done, but you don't realise that a lot of the feelings are associated with men, not necessarily associated with women.

Participant Female: Yes. I just don't know how to even get into my dad stuff. I know I must be resistant. Obviously I don't want to. But I want to. I don't want to do this to my son. I don't want to.

22.2.1. Focusing on addictions with men

Jesus: Most of your pain is about your dad stuff, so start with your pain. Start with the holes, these emotional needs.

Like, what's going on with your son? What are you needing from this relationship with your son? That will tell you a lot about what is actually going on and what you fill these holes ... what you're trying to fill up in yourself emotionally.

So start there. With your mother, well you already know you've got anger and other feelings with your mum. Allow yourself to go through the start of the process of forgiving her, which starts with that anger. You don't have to express it to her. You need to feel it.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: As you go through it, you will feel the truth of it at different times, and then you will feel other times, "Oh, I was just trying to fool myself there. I was really feeling this," and you will be more honest about it then.

22.2.2. Addictions created in the participant's son

Participant Female: I feel with Sam, the Law of Attraction with him, he's presenting. He almost feels like his father at times who was again, not in his life.

Jesus: How old is he?

Participant Female: He's seven.

Jesus: Seven. Yes. He already feels superior to all other men and women by the time he is seven. That's a lot of damage already there for him. He's already feeling superior.

I had a conversation with Karen last night at the dinner table, and I think Igor was clever enough to get a little bit of a sound recording of it, and it was all about this issue of how we create these things in our children, because we're trying to avoid a lot of the pain in ourselves. As a result our children grow up to believe themselves to be superior beings, and then they treat other people very badly as a result of their belief. What we've got to do is start undoing that, seeing the emotional holes that caused us to have that belief with our child.

So if you start at both of those places ‒ the place of your own hurt, and the place also of the fact of what you wanted your son to be. From a man's perspective, what were you trying to groom him into? That will help you immensely to resolve all these particular issues.

Participant Female: Thank you.

23. Homework

Jesus: I'm hoping that from this discussion, you've at least now got a bit of a grounding about the process, not so much the process, but the importance of forgiveness and repentance. Hopefully that's the case. What I would like to do is raise with you some homework things to do.

The first question is, "Can you see where you need to be repentant?" I suppose you could say that's a "Yes" or "No" answer, if you wanted to be really pedantic. But you could actually start writing down all the areas where you need to be repentant, couldn't you? Then, "Can you see where you need to forgive?" You could again note down all the areas where you can start seeing where you need to forgive.

The next two questions are probably where I would like you to focus on a fair bit, because this is what's been causing a lot of problems for many of you in terms of your emotional work. That is, "When have you been attempting to forgive someone, when really you need to repent for your actions towards them?" And the second one is, "When have you been attempting to repent for your actions, when you really did nothing wrong from God's perspective?"

Now the final two questions are really important, in your analysis of what you're going to need to repent and forgive, because there's the question, "What actions have you taken in your facade self in order to avoid the hurt self?" Remember, every action you take in your facade self in order to avoid your hurt self, is an action for which you are going to have to repent.

Then the next one is, "What actions have you taken in order to deny the hurt self?" Remember, every action you take to deny the hurt self, again causes things that you will have to repent for. Now, the beauty of looking at the hurt self, is that it tells you where the emotional holes are. That tells you what you are avoiding from your childhood. The hurt self is all about the emotional holes.

23.1. Focusing on emotional holes

Jesus: Now I think we had a conversation, I think it was with Nina here, we had the conversation about the soulmate stuff ... (See 20140714 Assistance Group 1 ‒ Personal Truth ‒ Joy Harris & Neena Love)

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: ... and all those kinds of things. Remember, that both of you girls focused your attention on your sons, in order to create a man who would actually feed all of your addictions. Remember that?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So there's the repentance relationship. Then, where's the forgiveness relationship in that? Well no, there has to be a man involved, doesn't there? There have to be male-based feelings associated with it. Now remember, in the discussion at the dinner table, Nina. You started saying, "Oh yes, I've gone through a lot of that. I felt this deep hurt inside of myself that I haven't got a man in my life and all ..."

Participant Female: No, loneliness was where you pulled me up.

Jesus: Yes, and then you kept on going into your loneliness. You were saying you're lonely and all these kinds of things, that you had identified some emotional holes. But when you feel lonely, that is not going to solve the emotional hole. You need to forgive the person who created this emotional hole to solve the emotional hole.

So what I would like you to do is look at your emotional holes. That's what I'm getting at. Question number six is basically examining your emotional holes. Many of you know what they are, and you avoid them. Let's look at them instead.

24. Audience questions

24.1. An example of a participant being slapped by a woman

Participant Male: Recently in the city I had this lady come up and slap me in the face, when she was on some drugs. That's actually a repentance relationship then?

Jesus: Yes. I would say so, yes. What was it about?

Participant Male: Umm ...

Jesus: A lot of women treat you like that, don't they?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: So what is that about?

Participant Male: I got upset because I guess my addiction didn't get met. It's about my mum then? Or would it have to be?

Jesus: Yes, you got upset because your addiction didn't get met. Remember, in your addiction cycle you always get angry when ...

Participant Male: So there's no point in forgiving her for not meeting my addiction?

Jesus: Forgiving her for not meeting your addiction?

Participant Male: Yes. There's no point doing that because that's not going to ...

Jesus: She shouldn't meet your addiction. There's nothing to forgive.

Participant Male: Yes. I didn't think about that.

Jesus: You see, many of you think, "Oh, I've got to forgive people for not meeting my addictions. No you don't. There's nothing to forgive. They did the right thing. They shouldn't have met your addictions. So whom do you need to forgive?

Participant Male: My mum.

Jesus: Mum. Something happened with mum. Something between dad and mum, which causes you to believe that mum should give you all these things. How did mum treat you?

Participant Male: Very angrily.

Jesus: Well, your dad was violent.

Participant Male: Yes, my dad was violent.

Jesus: What did your mum do?

Participant Male: She was also violent, and she might have encouraged my dad to be violent.

Jesus: Yes, she did. By not doing anything, saying anything, she didn't remove you from the violence.

Participant Male: Eventually, but ...

Jesus: Dad died, didn't he?

Participant Male: No, he got over-cloaked and supposedly tried to kill both of us.

Jesus: So what do you want from mum? What is it that you're looking for? This woman who you attracted did you a service, unbeknownst to her of course ...

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: ... because of one of her addictions. She did you a service, which was to show you how much you're getting slapped around by women.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: So that means you got slapped around by your mother somehow.

Participant Male: Yes. I did.

Jesus: And you're not feeling about it.

Participant Male: Otherwise it wouldn't happen.

Jesus: Otherwise it wouldn't have happened. So where's the hurt? She's pointed you in the direction of the hurt.

Participant Male: Yes. I got slapped around.

Jesus: And you don't need to forgive her.

Participant Male: No, not that lady.

Jesus: Not that lady. Well you can, but it's not going to do much good, because it's just an effect of what your soul attracted. At the end of the day, she did the wrong thing, I agree. But at the end of the day, if you are forgiving her, it doesn't do anything for your soul.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: Forgiving your mother would do a lot of things for your soul.

Participant Male: So don't make it anyone else business, or the other ladies in my life.

Jesus: No. Aren't they all Law of Attraction relationships? These are the ones that we need to repent towards; the ones that we've attracted. We've attracted them because we've involved them in our mess. Our mess has been created because we've refused to forgive the real people who created our mess, so what we do is create a bigger mess by not forgiving those people, and involving a whole heap of other people in our mess.

25. Homework (continued)

25.1. Actions taken in the façade self to avoid the hurt self's emotional experience

Participant Female: I'm not sure, but I feel quite confused about the last two questions of the homework.

Jesus: You do, yes.

Participant Female: Because it seems to me that the facade self is the action you've taken to avoid or deny your hurt self.

Jesus: No, I've said, what actions have you taken in your facade self? In other words, being in your facade, what have you done? What physical things have you done to avoid the hurt self? One of the things is that you have created a relationship.

Participant Female: Many.

Jesus: Yes. Then when you weren't happy with that one, you created another one. There are two things you did in your facade self, in order to avoid your hurt self. What other things have you done?

25.1.1. An example of a participant's relationship with her sons

Jesus: What other things have you done ‒ with your children? With the boys?

Participant Female: Certainly with my second son, a co-dependent, tried to make him fill that hole.

Jesus: Yes. Created a sort of emotionally co-dependent, incestuous type of emotional relationship. That's the kind of thing to think about. We took all of those actions in our facade.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Those are the kinds of things you need to think about. Try to identify, if you can, what hurt you were trying to avoid. That would be great.

26. Audience questions

26.1. An example of a participant needing to get help from his mother

Participant Male: I'm not sure if this is along the lines, but I hope it is. I have this need to get help by my mum often.

Jesus: Get help from your mum?

Participant Male: Yes. I remember her saying that she wanted to try to help my dad out of his problems.

Jesus: Yes. So she was a rescuer?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: She likes to create men whom she can then rescue.

Participant Male: Yes. So I'm confused why I have such a strong need for her to help me through my problems.

Jesus: Because she has created it.

Participant Male: Right.

Jesus: She created your need. What do you get in return, and what does she get?

Participant Male: I got help.

Jesus: What do you feel when you get help? You feel loved. See, her way of thinking that she's loving somebody, is by helping them, and she needs to do it with a man. Why does she need to do it with a man?

Participant Male: Because of either one of her parent's emotional needs?

Jesus: It is, but if you get down to the nuts and bolts, the reason is that she wants to feel superior to the man.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: And you, by feeling inferior to her, run to her and she gets to feel all of this lovely thing. "I'm superior again. I get to feel superior to the man. I get to feel better than the man. I get to feel quite a lot of things." You get to feel, of course, that you need her and you're not as good as she is, and quite a number of things there, which is also what you feel when you're with women ‒ that you're not as good as they are, and they're not going to want you.

This is where you need to see the difference in what you do in your addiction. Running to mum is the addiction. What's the hurt underneath that that covers over?

Participant Male: I'm not seeing it.

Jesus: You don't have to have an answer right now. You need to feel about this.

27. Becoming self-responsible to find our own emotional answers

Jesus: Can I just say to you: many of you want me to tell you the answers. You do. If you're honest with yourself, you do. I've had to do all of my own emotional work. I don't expect any of you to tell me an answer.

Now can you see that a really truly self-responsible emotional being would not expect anybody else to tell them the answer, but would be very happy when somebody did? Well, do you know what I find instead of that? I find that you want me to tell you the answer, and when it's not the answer you want, you're not very happy that I did.

Now I put to you that a truly self-responsible, emotional being will look for the answers themselves. When somebody comes along and offers them the gift of telling them the answer, they will appreciate it and love it, which is very much the opposite of what I get from most people.

So this is what I'm going to suggest to you. Learn how to become a self-responsible, emotional being. Stop expecting somebody else to answer all of your questions. What I'm trying to provide you is a framework through which you can work your way towards God. This is the framework that I've discovered to work my way towards God. That's all I'm doing, teaching you the framework that I've discovered. That's all. You engaging it is going to depend very much upon you. Very much upon you. When you want me to answer your questions, and then when you get angry with me for not doing it, you are demonstrating that you want somebody else to be responsible for your life.

God wants you to become a self-responsible being, in other words, to have no one else responsible for your life. So you're going to have to do some work. I had to do work. I had to do some hard work, going through the processes that I've described to you, working through my emotions in the manner that I've described to you. I've had to do some hard work.

I haven't relied on you to do that for me. I haven't relied on you to provide the answers for me, so why are you relying on me to do that for you? I am just one of your brothers. I might be your elder brother who knows a bit more about some of these things than you do currently, but that's all I am, so stop relying on me to provide the answers for you, and use the framework you have been taught to discover the answers. Use the way you've been taught to discover the answers.

What we're trying to do when we give you these homework sessions, is to help you engage the Way. That's what we're trying to do. Engage the process here rather than expect to be told everything. Let yourself discover the process, because that's a part of this joy of discovering the Way to God.

Once you know this process in your heart, you feel it in your heart, you go, "Wow! This is such a clever way God created. Like, isn't this stuff about repentance and forgiveness so clever?" You can totally avoid all of the Law of Compensation crap, just by engaging this. You can understand why, because it's involved with emotions of repentance and forgiveness. It's so wonderful.

Engage the process by your own effort. You're not going to have me, Mary, Corny, or anyone else around you twenty-four by seven, every day, telling you what your next step is. Certainly that's not what I want to do. I don't want to live with you twenty-four by seven. I've got someone I want to live with twenty-four by seven, and that's all I want, thank you very much. I'm not going to live with you twenty-four by seven. I don't even want to have to spend hours and hours discussing your emotional issues. You don't have to do that for me. So why would I want to do that for you? I want to teach you the truth and then you engage the process.

You know there is that old saying about teaching the guy how to fish, or give him a whole heap of fish all the time. You want me to give you a whole heap of fish all the time. That's what you want. That's not going to help you to become emotionally self-reliant, self-responsible beings. God doesn't do that for you. I shouldn't do that for you, if I ever want to become at-one with God.

So stop asking all these questions of me. Ask them of yourself. Go through these processes I've had to go through. Learn them by heart so they're automatic. Educate yourself about these processes. Know how to address every problem through these processes. And you will progress. Then when Jesus dies, you won't all panic.

That's what happened in the first century. Jesus died and all the disciples panicked. You don't want to do that, do you? You want to just go the same as before. "He's still alive. He's enjoying himself somewhere else. And I can go through this process because I've been taught." That's what you want.

You want to have that confidence in God. Confidence in God's Laws and Principles. Confidence in the Way. It is God's Way, not mine. You need to have confidence in it. You need to develop your own confidence in it by doing it yourself. Every time I provide you with answers, you're not doing things yourself and you're not developing confidence in it. You're not developing trust in it. You're not developing faith in God. You're just developing a little bit of faith in me, and even then I'd suggest to you that it's not very much, because if I died tomorrow the majority of you would say, "He wasn't Jesus. None of what he taught was any good any way." You would go off doing your own thing. For many of you, that is what would happen.

It should be the fact that once you've learnt God's Way, it doesn't matter what happens to anybody else in the Universe, you are going to practice God's Way. That's the way it needs to be. If you are going to become at-one with God, it's your relationship. It's your responsibility. It's also your desire. Everything is driven by those things. It's got nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me, with one exception, and that is: I'm happy to teach you what I've learnt from it. That's all.

So, get out those homework questions again and go through them more sincerely. Look for the answers. Ask God about these answers. Get to understand them.

I'm very, very happy to answer questions about your understanding. I'm becoming less happy about answering your individual emotional problems. Can you see the difference? One is about how you understand the process, which is going to help you for the rest of your life. The other one is about understanding one particular emotion that you are responsible for getting to yourself. I want to engage with you answering questions about the processes ‒ what's involved, what things need to be engaged, how it all applies.

I am not that happy about answering personal questions because unless it illustrates something about the process, it's a pointless discussion, because one day you are going to get rid of that emotion, and then there's the end of whatever the result was of the discussion, whereas if I teach you the process, in a thousand years' time you're still going to be engaging the same process. It doesn't matter what emotion you go through, what feelings you go through, you're still going to engage that process. That means that my teaching has been lasting inside of you, rather than something that just was for an occasion here, an occasion there, and an occasion there and disappeared.

Now I like creating lasting things. Every one of your unhealed emotions is not a lasting thing. It is a temporary thing that you can address if you have the skills. Every one of your good emotions is not a lasting thing. It's a temporary thing that you can experience some happiness from. So allow yourself to go through these experiences.

Soon I'm going to make an agreement with you. You know what it is? I don't want to hear another question about your personal emotional condition. That's going to be my agreement with you soon. The questions I want to hear are: "What's this process, what's that process? How does this work? How does that work? What goes on here? What goes on there? How can I understand that?" They are the kinds of questions. I'll answer them till I'm gone.

Will muscle, will muscle, will muscle. I can't build your will muscle. The only person who is going to develop your will to do this is you, and the more I do for you, the less you're going to do. Build your own will muscle. Now I'm very happy to help you do that, but if you're going to just sit back and go, "Feed me, feed me, feed me, I'm going to go, "I'm sorry." At some point I've got to draw a line in the sand and go, "No more for you," because you're not developing your own will muscle.

Repentance & Forgiveness In Practice Outline

Introduction

'Emotional processing' of the wrong emotions

One of the biggest problems we have is self-deception with emotions

Attempting to 'experience' an emotion that is preferable (which is an addiction) rather than the actual emotion

Self-deception emotions will not result in progression since these emotions are not the Absolute Truth about our lives

Self-deception emotions are dangerous, in that they can cause further soul damage

Truthful 'emotional processing' revolves around two types of relationships:

1.      The relationships where others or we ourselves have treated us unlovingly from God's viewpoint, and which resulted in causal soul based injuries within ourselves, which we must learn to forgive

2.      The relationships where we have treated others, or ourselves at the insistence of others, unlovingly from God's viewpoint, and which resulted in causal soul based injuries in others and ourselves, for which we must learn to repent for

Revision Of Basic Principles

Suffering has two primary causes

The refusal to repent

The refusal to forgive

Forgiveness relationships

Revolve around the hurt self's (child) feelings

These are relationships where we need to forgive others our ourselves for actions taken out of harmony with Love towards us

Repentance relationships

Revolve around the façade self's (adult) feelings

These are relationships where we need to repent towards others our ourselves for our actions taken out of harmony with Love

Addictions & Façade are caused by our refusal to forgive & repent

Addictions & façade are caused by our desire to avoid our own pain and suffering

Blocks to Forgiveness

There are many blocks to forgiving others or ourselves for what has been done to us

The key is to identify these emotional blockages and work through them emotionally

If we do not do this forgiveness can never take place, and we shall need to rely upon the Law of Compensation doing its work upon our soul in a slow and laborious painful process

We will not list all of the blocks here, but rather will list a few of them only

Accepting guilt from others when I am innocent of unloving behaviour in the situation

When I feel guilt about things that I am not truly guilty for

I feel guilty for things that others actually perpetrated towards myself or others

Accepting responsibility when I am innocent of unloving behaviour in the situation

When I feel responsible for things that I am not responsible for

I feel responsible for things that from God’s perspective I am not responsible for E.g. A child taking responsibility for how the parent abused it

E.g. A child feeling responsible for starvation in the third world when only their parents can repair the problem

Accepting blame from others when we are innocent of unloving behaviour

When I feel I am to blame for things that others did out of harmony with love

Wanting to blame myself so that others stop treating me badly, or so that I can avoid the pain of recognizing that others wish to treat me badly for no reason, when it is the people who treat me badly that are to blame for their own behaviour

Self-punishment, the attempt to avoid assigning responsibility to the person who is actually responsible for the unloving behaviour by blaming oneself

When I punish myself for unloving actions others have taken towards me When I become violent towards myself for being treated badly by others

Wishing to destroy, punish, or harm people who perpetrated the unloving behaviour

When I harbour resentment towards the people who have hurt me, and instead of feeling the pain of others treatment of me, I decide to perpetrate harm towards others (often others not related to my own original hurt)

Blocks to Repentance

There are many blocks to repenting towards God, others and ourselves for what we have done to the environment, others or ourselves

The key is to identify these emotional blockages and work through them emotionally

If we do not do this repentance can never take place, and we shall need to rely upon the Law of Compensation doing its work upon our soul in a slow and laborious painful process

We will not list all of the blocks here, but rather will list a few of them only

Making others feel guilty for my own unloving behaviour

I refuse to see my own unloving behaviour, and I believe that others have done things to harm me when in fact I have done things to harm them from God’s perspective

E.g. Believing that others should love me when others are allowed to decide to not love me

Making others take responsibility for my own unloving behaviour

Manipulating, coercing, and otherwise blackmailing others into taking responsibility for my own unloving behaviour

Refusing to take personal responsibility for my own unloving behaviour

Minimizing, justifying, shifting the blame, and using emotional methods (such as tantrums, tears, drama etc) to refuse to take full emotional responsibility for my own unloving behaviour towards myself or others

Blaming others for my own unloving behaviour

Justifying our own unloving behaviour by assigning blame for our own behaviour onto someone else, whether that person actually treated us unlovingly or not

Punishing others for my own unloving behaviour

Attempting with my thoughts, words and actions to punish others subversively or overtly for what I perceive is their unloving behaviour

Attempting with my thoughts, words and actions to punish others subversively or overtly for what I know is their unloving behaviour

Attempting to avoid the recognition of my own unloving behaviour through manipulative techniques or addictions

This is an attempt to remain in denial of my own unloving behaviour by using devious and underhanded methods to avoid the recognition of our own unloving behaviour

Conclusion

We need to understand our emotional blockages towards repentance and forgiveness

We need to see how our emotional blockages towards repentance and forgiveness are acted out in our behaviour

We need to see our refusal to forgive or repent as a choice exercised by our personal will

Homework

Can you see where you need to repent? Can you see where you need to forgive?

When have you claimed to repent or claimed to forgive, when you obviously have not?

When have you been attempting to forgive someone, when really you need to repent for your actions towards them?

When have you been attempting to repent for your actions when really you did nothing wrong from God's perspective?

What actions have you taken in your façade self (adult) in order to avoid the hurt self's (child's) emotional experience?

What actions have you taken in order to deny or suppress the hurt self's (child's) emotional experience?

What techniques are your favourite techniques to avoid repentance and forgiveness?

Forgiveness & Repentance Homework

1. Forgiveness and repentance relationships

Jesus: I feel before we discuss too much about the homework that I gave you, about repentance and forgiveness, we need to have more discussion about repentance and forgiveness, because many of you have misinterpreted some of the things I've said, and you're now overly worried, about who you should forgive and who you should repent towards, and unfortunately you are not seeing the rest of what I said to you.

Remember as a part of the introduction, to the repentance and forgiveness chat that we had with you, we said that pain and suffering has two primary causes, the refusal to repent and the refusal to forgive.

The definition of repentance was: this occurs when we have been unloving towards others or ourselves, which created pain, which we then denied, and the Law of Compensation is operating upon our soul, to try to trigger us into repentance. So repentance is all about when we have been unloving to others or ourselves.

This is really important to remember, because a lot of you are saying, "Does that mean I have to forgive the bully who bullied me at school? Does that mean I have to forgive my abuser who abused me?" Well hang on a second, did you or were you unloving towards them?

Mary: You just said forgive, babe; you mean repent.

Jesus: Oh, repent towards those people. Were you unloving towards them? Well you might have been partially after a while, after they did some of the things to you, but at the beginning probably not at all, so do you have to repent for those particular things? No, you have to forgive them for those things. Don't get caught up in anything else. You've got to ask yourself first the question, "Were you, from God's perspective unloving towards that person?"

There are a lot of times when you've been unloving towards yourself ‒ under those circumstances ‒ and yes, you will have to repent for those things, that you have been unloving towards yourself about. But in terms of being repentant towards people who have been unloving to you, why? They are unloving to you. You don't have to be repentant towards them, you will need to be forgiving of them. If you don't forgive them you will be angry; you will remain angry for a long time. You will get resentful; you might even hurt other people from this resentment. So forgiveness is a key part there ‒ not repentance.

Participant Female: Is part of that repentance towards God for breaking God's Laws?

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: And is our repentance with God, or is it with the other person, or is it both?

Jesus: We can't hurt God, can we? So from that regard God isn't hurt by anything that we do, and God has already forgiven us because God forgives us the moment we do something wrong. Remember when we're at-one with God that's what we'll do too. We'll forgive another person the moment they do something wrong.

God has already done that: God has already forgiven and there's nothing really for us to repent to God about, in the sense that we haven't harmed God. However we have attempted to; we have had a desire to, generally with stuff regarding God, and they are the things we need to be repentant about for our own sake.

1.1. Repentance and forgiveness are for our own sake

Jesus: I meant to point out something about this process, with regards to repentance and forgiveness. Both operations need to be undertaken for your sake, not for the other person's sake, although with repentance and forgiveness it can benefit the other person, but only if they make a choice to feel something. You don't repent so that somebody else changes; you repent so that you change. And you don't forgive so that somebody else changes; you forgive so that you can change.

Remember if you truly love, you won’t have an expectation. You're doing both of these things for your sake, and remember every time you try to do something for someone else's sake, you are not loving to them or yourself.

Do you understand what I'm saying about that? You're doing this forgiveness and repentance process for you, because without doing this you will not become more loving. That's the reason why you're doing it. You're doing it because you want to become more loving and this is the only way you can become more loving.

1.1.1. Expecting others to forgive or repent is out of harmony with love

Jesus: The subsequent result may be that the people you are repentant towards have a change, in that they allow themselves to go through some emotion about what you did, and that would be fantastic, but you can't expect that.

Many of you expect that. You see this a lot with parents and children where the parent goes, "I'm really sorry for my action," and the child says, "No you’re not. I'm really angry still about it!" And the parent says, "Now you shouldn't be angry at me, I said I was sorry!"

Why does the parent say that? Because they expect a result from saying they're sorry. In other words they are not focused on doing it for their own sake anymore, they are focused on trying to do something else for the other person’s sake, and they want something in return. So is it real repentance? No, it is not. Every time a parent, for example, says to the child, "I said I was sorry, why do you keep treating me badly?" They've forgotten what real repentance is. They've got no knowledge of it.

The same applies when we forgive. When we forgive we don't always bring up the thing over and over and over and over again with the person we just forgave. "So I forgave you!" You know that kind of feeling? "I forgave you so you should ... whatever" Well that's trying to do it for another reason, other than just the pure reason of becoming more loving.

We need to do both of these things for your own sake, so that you can become more loving. Without these things you can't become more loving; it's just quite that simple.

1.2. We need to repent towards people we have been angry towards

Participant Female: Could I just clarify that I've understood please? When you said that we don't have to repent towards the people who have hurt us, even if you have become angry with them?

Jesus: That's different, you see. Now what you're doing, you've got to be careful about putting words into my mouth. I never said that when you're angry that's not a sin, did I?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: Didn't I say that when you are angry it is a sin? Therefore once you start projecting that rage at another person, then can you start seeing that that is also a sin?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: By the way it's better to feel the rage than it is to deny it. So that's an improvement in the sin, isn't it?

1.3. A scale of progress in repentance and forgiveness

Jesus: Let’s look at the scale, if you like, of our progress. Here's one hundred percent ‒ acknowledgment we've dealt with the emotion. We've actually forgiven or repented. Here's zero, where we haven't dealt with anything, we're in complete denial. That's the first part of the intellectual process if you like of the deconstruction right there at zero, that's where we start.

Then you start stepping through things: we do all the intellectual steps, so we get to five percent maybe with dealing with something, because at least we've made some change in our concept intellectually that we have to do it. There is some improvement, even in just doing the intellectual thing with our soul. But now we've still ninety-five percent of our work to do.

The first point of it is to feel that there was something that was wrong, that went wrong. When you go through the feeling that it was wrong, then you'll start feeling you're now progressed a little way, you might be up there ‒ eight, nine, ten percent of getting through the entire process let's say.

A scale of repentance and forgiveness, where zero is complete denial and one hundred percent is complete forgiveness and repentance. There are steps of progress between those two points

Then you have to start feeling that there's a reason inside of you of why you do it.

1.4. Feeling anger as part of the process of forgiveness

Jesus: For example, if we take the example of anger, somebody does something wrong to you. You start realising that it's wrong, and in the process of realising that it's wrong you start having a feeling. You get to this point where you start having a feeling, "It was damn well wrong that that thing happened to me! It was wrong, it should never have happened." You start feeling all the things that have happened to your life as a result of that thing that was wrong. You're starting to now realise that you've had a sin committed against you, but now you're feeling some of the anger that results, from the feeling that you've had something done towards you.

Now, in this feeling, you have progressed; you've progressed out of denial and you are now feeling something. You are now into the feeling, but the feeling is anger. What do you do with this anger? What do I keep saying you should do with the anger?

Participant Female: Well feel it or you've acted out in it.

Jesus: Right, so you do one of the two, don't you? You either feel it or you get all angry and bitter, and then what do you do if you get all angry and bitter but don’t choose to feel it?

Participant Female: You suppress it.

Jesus: No what else do you do?

Participant Female: I've projected it at the person that I think has caused it.

Jesus: Right now you're committing a sin, and now you're committing a sin because you can feel it without projecting it at the other person, can't you? You can feel the rage inside of yourself, the boiling of it inside of yourself. You can feel it, but when you start projecting it at another person, now can you say you're really feeling it? No, what are you wanting to do? You're wanting to harm the other person. That's not feeling your anger anymore, that's acting out your anger and trying to damage another person with it; that's what that’s doing. That's not feeling it anymore.

When you feel it you are in this really pure place actually, where you're actually allowing the anger to be present, you're feeling the anger in your body and you feel just, "Argh!" And actually in that place you'll find that you don't really a have a consciousness of who it's towards, you just feel the terrible damage that's been done to you. It's very internal and it doesn't get projected externally.

Some of you have been at that place, but the majority of you are not there. That's not how you feel your anger. How you feel your anger is you focus it on an individual and away you go; that's living in your anger. I'm not recommending that to you. You can stay in that cycle for a thousand years and get nowhere. As soon as you choose to do that, you're now committing a sin, for which you will need to repent.

Remember my discussion with Loise? (See 20140718 Personal Truth ‒ Loise White) She feels the other person deserved that anger for a number of reasons, but when it got down to it, a lot of it was about avoiding an emotion of how she felt about herself. Every time we avoid an emotion about how we feel about ourselves internally, we generally try to act it out with somebody else; we project it at someone else. That’s the sin; that's the sin for which we're going to need to repent.

We started off with somebody else hurting us, but then we started to feel the hurt and when we started to feel the hurt we refused to feel the anger inside of ourselves, and we've refused to release it. So what did we do? We started projecting this anger at someone else. So what do we do? We go and commit a sin ourselves. Now the hells of the spirit world are littered with people who have done that.

That's not what I'm suggesting to you that you need to do, and many of you have thought that's what I'm suggesting, because that's what you like to do, and that's not what I'm suggesting you need to do. You need to feel the anger itself. You need to see that what was done was wrong, and you need to feel the personal anger you feel about it with yourself. You need to feel the rage that's inside of you about having that thing done to you. You won't even feel that it was mum, dad, sister, brother; whatever you feel. You'll just feel, "That thing was done to me." It'll be like the other person in the interaction isn't hardly even there.

That's how it would feel when you truly feel it. It's like you'll just feel, "This was done to me; it was terrible!" You won't have blame coming out of you, as to who did it or anything when you're in that place in a pure space, you'll just feel the rage of it having been done to you.

Now that I've said that to you, how many of you feel that you have felt that kind of anger? Very few in comparison to the normal anger.

The problem is that if we avoid that feeling now we're going to get angry with other people. When you get angry with other people, yes that is a sin, and that's something you are going to have to repent for. It is, and there's always a reason. There's always an emotional reason, and it's always related to the refusal to forgive. The whole reason why you're getting angry with the other person, is because you're refusing to forgive that person; the two are interrelated with each other but we need to see it as such.

2. An example of a participant, Laura, and her forgiveness and repentance relationships

2.1. Laura’s family dynamics during her childhood

Jesus: Let's do a demonstration from what I've just heard from Laura with her parents. Laura had mum and dad, little Laura; she also has a brother over here. Before brother and Laura came along, mum was angry with men. She wanted a man she could manipulate and control and totally dominate. So what does she do? She gets a man who's like that, who’s insipid, and she can totally dominate him and tell him what to do; tell him what to do and when to do it and how high to jump and all those kind of things. All the things she wanted.

But of course this man she doesn't really find sexually attractive, and she has a lot of rage towards him, and so eventually over time he's going to develop impotence and all sorts of issues as a result of that. And of course he doesn't feel connected to her because all he feels coming from her is rage.

2.1.1. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her parents

Jesus: Laura's mum also has a lot of jealousy and anger emotions towards women, so she gives birth to a girl. Who's going to be the recipient of all that rage? The girl: all the rage gets projected at the girl. This girl grows up knowing that her mum hates her; she knows it. Mum never even bothers trying to hide it in this situation. so she knows. She's grown up in this rage she knows that her mum is angry with her. Is it worth trying to get any nice emotions from mum? Totally pointless, so who does she try to get the nice emotions from? Dad.

Mum, by projecting all this rage at Laura, created in Laura an addiction and emotional hole which Laura then wanted fulfilled by having a different kind of relationship with her dad. The hurt is closely related to the final facade if you like ‒ the desire for the man to give her a lot of things.

A participant, Laura (below), has rage projected at her from her mother (above right), and so establishes an addictive relationship with her father (above left) to fill the emotional hole created by her mother

But this man has a lot of pent up rage about women, but Laura is wanting feelings from this man. She's totally open to feeling these feelings from this man. He gives her some acknowledgment and some attention, but in the process Laura is also open to receiving his sexual rage as well, totally open. Now who does Laura forgive? It's fairly obvious, isn't it?

Participant Female: Her mum.

Jesus: Is it just her mum?

Participant Female: No, her mum and her dad.

Jesus: Right, she's got to forgive her mum and her dad. Does she have to forgive herself for creating the addiction? Was it a conscious choice that she made to create the addiction? How old was she when she created this addiction? She was probably near born, very young. Did she have an awareness of that's what she needed? Did she make a choice to do it? No, the choice was made for her by the dynamic between the parents, was it not? She's not making a conscious choice at this stage.

At this stage she doesn't really have to forgive herself, for the fact that she created this addiction with her dad. She had this desire because she never really created the addiction with her dad, it was the dynamic between mum and dad that created that addiction, isn't it? They are the people truly from God's perspective to blame for the addiction being present, are they not? Forgiveness is what is required.

2.1.2. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her brother who sexually abused her

Jesus: Mum also felt favouritism towards her son, because she wanted to groom him into being her ideal man. Also she's got a lot of rage and dad's also got a lot of sexual rage towards women. So what do you think brother did?

Participant Female: Took all of that out on Laura.

Jesus: Yes, he sexually abused Laura. Does Laura have to repent for the fact that her brother sexually abused her? No, why? Who created the desire in her brother to sexually abuse Laura?

Participant Female: Her mum and her dad.

Jesus: Yes and?

Participant Female: And her brother.

Jesus: Her brother ‒ see it depends on the age of the brother, doesn't it? The thing I haven't told you is he was twelve when it started, so he already had some developed will, did he not? Mum, dad and brother have to repent towards Laura at some point, that's what they’ll have to do from God's perspective.

Can Laura rely on them ever doing it? No, she can't. Who also does Laura now need to forgive? Her brother. So if you look at the forgiveness lines, which remember the other day we drew in red, the forgiveness lines are going to be some forgiveness towards her brother ‒ because he was somewhat or partly to blame for his actions towards her ‒ and mostly forgiveness towards mum and dad. And more towards mum than dad, because mum created more of the problem.

2.1.3. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with herself for creating addictions at others' insistence

Jesus: She's going to have to at some point, forgive herself for creating the addictions she created as a part of the result isn't she? Because she wasn't to blame for the creation of them; she did it at the insistence of someone else, of her parents, and she was not formed in her mind enough to make a choice, so she automatically created some things inside of herself at the insistence of someone else. She needs to forgive herself for the fact that she did that ‒ she doesn't have to repent for that ‒ she needs to forgive herself for doing it. It's not her fault she did it; it’s somebody else's fault she did it.

Laura needs to forgive (indicated by red lines) her parents (above) and her brother (middle right) for the damage they did to her, as well as herself for creating her own addictions

Mary: So then a lot of us have addictions in our hurt selves.

Jesus: We do.

Mary: And as we grow we continue to act in those addictions.

Jesus: Yes.

Mary: And our will becomes our own.

Jesus: Yes, I'm not now talking about Laura's adult life; I'm still talking about her child life.

Mary: No ‒ just felt that question hanging in the air, honey; just thought I'd throw it out there.

Jesus: No worries, we're still talking about Laura's child life. Laura did not have a defined will when this dynamic occurred and when her addiction was created. She didn't even have a defined will fully formed, when her brother decided to start abusing her when he was twelve. But sometimes she didn't mind the abuse, why? Because the addiction was already created, from the openness to the damaged relationship between the parents, and she's got to forgive herself for that.

2.2. Laura’s relationship dynamics during her adulthood

Jesus: Now let’s roll forward twenty years. Laura has now attracted a man that is like a mixture of her dad and her brother, only worse, and this man has a violent sexually abusive nature. Then she goes through the process of having a relationship, and eventually she learns that she needs to leave this relationship. She leaves, and then she attracts another man, and because the emotions have not been dealt with, what kind of man would it have been? The same kind of man ‒ only probably worse, because the emotions are still not dealt with ‒so the same kind of man, only worse. At this stage after two relationships with the same kind of man only worse, do you think she's probably going to make the same mistake a third time? No, so what's highly likely she's going to do the third time?

Participant Female: Probably find a man who's kind of opposite to that.

Jesus: Correct ‒ this is what we do. We go through a couple of the same kind of thing, and then all of a sudden we go, "I'm not doing that ever again." There's still no emotional shift really, but now we've swung the pendulum completely in the opposite direction and gone for a man that's completely the opposite. In other words, a man without sexual rage in him, who she can, to a degree, manipulate or control with her sexuality ‒ sorry Fab that's you, as you probably are aware.

So there are these two men that are abusive, sexually abusive and so forth, and all those things, and one is so abusive he even punches her while she's pregnant to try and cause her to have an abortion of her own child. That's how abusive he is ‒ that's a lot of rage inside of him ‒ that's pretty abusive.

Then there's another, the last man she attracts is completely the opposite, like night and day opposite. Whatever's in them, is not in him; flip side of opposite. The abusive men are all cool everybody likes them, the new boyfriend is not as cool, you know, less people like him. Right the way through you know all these different … like she looks at the man that she was hurt by and goes, "I'm not having a bar of that anymore, any of that anymore."

2.2.1. Laura’s repentance relationship with herself for attracting abusive partners

Jesus: Every one of those relationships was an attraction that Laura had, because of the denial of some emotion, is that not true? So whom will she have to repent towards at some point? So now we're talking repentance.

Participant Female: All of the men that she attracted into her life once she got to that age.

Jesus: Remember the definition of repentance? This occurs when we have been unloving towards others or ourselves.

In the relationship with these two men, was Laura unloving towards them? Just generally with the details that I've just given you. She might have been in specific areas but just generally with the details that I've just given you? Do you think a man who's violently and sexually abusive is loving to her? No he's obviously unloving to her.

So surely he's got to repent for his behaviour at some point. Isn't that the case? So what does Laura have to repent for in that case? Towards what? Who did she hurt in that relationship? So when she got into these relationships, whom did she primarily hurt?

Participant Female: Herself, and can I please clarify something? When I say herself you mean the whole soul, so there’s also going to be repentance towards her soulmate?

Jesus: Correct of course.

Participant Female: For the damage because all those abusive relationships that we've had.

Jesus: Caused damage to herself.

Participant Female: And have kept us away from our soulmate.

Jesus: Yes but your soulmate is the other half of yourself, so it's still yourself. The person she needs to repent towards with regard to these relationships is herself. She needs to repent for the fact that she chose these relationships for some reason and she's got to try and find the reasons, why those relationships were attracted.

2.2.2. Laura’s repentance relationship with her non-abusive partner and her child

Jesus: In her relationship with the other guy, the one you know is not abusive, whom does she have to repent towards? Primarily ‒ sorry I'm not telling you what you have to do here Laura; I'm using the terms like that.

Participant Female: She has to repent towards that gentleman.

Jesus: In this relationship there's somebody else she had to be repentant towards, because she had a child. So her desire to stay, which she didn't do for very long by the way, did you Laura? So what happened? Soon as the guy tries to harm you, what did you choose to do?

Participant Female: As soon as he tried to kill the child I left. But then I took him back because he said that he would change.

Jesus: So you have to repent towards your child only for the time that you took him back.

Participant Female: And then it was over when she was two months old – for good.

Jesus: So it's a very short period of time ‒ just a few months and the relationship was finished, all over ‒ so it's a very short amount of repentance there. Laura did the right thing: instead of staying with him for twenty years and having all that rage and abuse come at her and the girl child for that period of time, she did the right thing and chose to go, chose to leave. There's very little repentance there in this case towards that, because she chose to do the most loving thing ‒ except for the time in between, when she chose to go back to him. It's only for that bit of time when she chose to do the unloving thing.

Laura (centre) needs to repent (shown by black lines) towards herself, her non-abusive partner and her child

2.2.3. Repentance is only necessary for unloving actions

Jesus: Can you see? When you choose to do the loving thing, you can't then repent for things that happened because you chose to do the loving thing; you can only repent for things when you chose to do the unloving thing.

Participant Female: If she hadn't have taken that man back would she still have needed to repent for her child for attracting it?

Jesus: No because she did the right thing; she did a loving thing.

Participant Female: But she attracted him.

Jesus: There are other things that she’s got to repent to her child towards.

Participant Female: But she attracted the child into the relationship.

Jesus: Yes, isn't that normal? You have a relationship, you have sex, and sooner or later a child's going to come along, isn't that what God's designed?

Participant Female: So there's no need to repent to a child you've conceived if it's in an unloving relationship? For the act of conception itself?

Jesus: No there's no need to repent towards her if you chose to do the loving thing. That's the proviso. That's a fairly big proviso, is it not? If you chose to do the loving thing is a big "if". For most people we don't choose to do the loving thing and so of course we have things to repent towards our children about.

Laura, please don't feel like I'm picking on you, but obviously there's hurt in Laura right now from all of this. Can you understand why? It's pretty bad isn't it? Of course there's going to be hurt.

2.2.4. Laura’s repentance relationship with herself for not feeling her hurt

Jesus: But as an adult there's something that Laura chose to do that she needs to repent for, and what's that? And this applies to all of you, by the way.

Participant Male: She'll need to repent about the damage she's done to herself by engaging in abusive relationships. Is that what you meant?

Jesus: Yes, but let's be more specific. What's the repentance about?

Participant Male: Her choices, her unloving choices.

Jesus: What's her primary choice that actually caused all the other choices? What's the primary choice?

Participant Female: Not to forgive her parents and her brother.

Jesus: At some point she chose to not feel that ‒ all that hurt. And in a way you're still choosing to not feel a lot of that hurt, Laura. You're choosing to feel some of it but not at all, if you're honest with yourself.

The only thing you really need to repent about is for everything that you've created, which is really a God thing, isn't it? Repenting for everything that I've created because I chose to avoid a hurt. Everything we create is because of a choice we made to avoid hurt.

If we'd actually felt our hurt and in the process of feeling our hurt we would have forgiven the people who hurt us, then none of the other hurt would have happened. We do need to go through the process of repenting for the fact that we chose to not feel our hurt. And that is a big thing to repent for, trust me. Everyone will go through that. All of you have created hurt for other people and yourselves, that is a direct result of your choice not to feel your own hurt, and that's something that you definitely need to repent for, because it's something that you did that was unloving to others and yourself.

2.2.5. Laura’s forgiveness relationship with her abusive partners

Participant Female: Does Laura also need to forgive the abusive men?

Jesus: Of course, yes.

Participant Female: And then that would feed back into ...

Jesus: But can you see if she had forgiven her parents and forgiven her brother, she wouldn't even have attracted the abusive men. Now you can see that there's some forgiveness required of the abusive men, but there's also some repentance required for the fact that if I had dealt with my emotions earlier, then I probably wouldn't have attracted those relationships.

There's a combination of emotions that need to be felt: some of them will be repentant emotions and some of them will be forgiving emotions that need to occur ‒ the repentant emotions towards herself for continuing to make a choice that was out of harmony with love of herself, and the forgiving emotions towards them for the unloving choices that they made that further damaged her.

Participant Female: Yes that's more logical than my understanding from the other day.

Jesus: Okay everything God does is logical. You need to understand that whenever something is more logical it's probably right.

2.2.6. Examining attractions to identify where forgiveness is required

Participant Female: Just following on from that, if there are things we've chosen to not even be aware of, damage that our parents have done, we could use the abusive relationship to look at the areas and then follow that down the rabbit hole if it was …

Jesus: The fact is that when Laura entered into these abusive relationships, she was not aware; she was in complete denial of all of her hurt emotions. That's probably a pretty true statement, isn't it? And in fact these men promised you some addictive things, that daddy was already giving you to a larger extent, and as a result you felt attracted to them. It was all about feeding her addictions in that place that she initially attracted these men. So yes these were attraction events to help her see, that actually her relationship with her dad had a lot of things wrong with it.

Participant Female: So now you could, with that awareness, as I said, go deeper. Sort of use that forgiveness process with those people to go, allow yourself to go a bit deeper.

Jesus: Of course you could.

3. Repentance and forgiveness in parent-child relationships

3.1. An example of Laura's relationship with her daughter

Participant Female: I still have some confusion about the child: because she had the sex that brought the child and …

Jesus: But isn't sex a part of a decent relationship?

Participant Female: Yes okay, and then there would be a time before she was attacked, when that child would have been exposed to the violent kind of vibes from the father.

Jesus: Of course, but Laura was already open to those violent vibes anyway.

Participant Female: Right.

Jesus: They were coming from her brother, her father already. It's already there and that was something she was unaware of.

Participant Female: But still the child still absorbed that until she left. Does she need to repent for that little bit for the child in the womb?

Jesus: She needs to repent for the fact that she never forgave. Like she chose in her adult life never to forgive dad and never forgive brother, and as a result this interaction occurred. Does that make sense?

Participant Female: Sort of.

Jesus: Can you see how harsh you're being now? Because you're being pretty harsh. Do you think God's that harsh?

Participant Female: So when ...

Jesus: Can you answer the question?

Participant Female: No God's not that harsh.

Jesus: No, you do think God's that harsh.

Participant Female: Oh I do.

Jesus: That's the problem.

Participant Female: Yes I do.

Jesus: But go on.

3.2. The two areas of damage towards a child that require repentance

Participant Female: So the children that I've attracted …

Jesus: The children you created or that you drew to yourself by creating their bodies, yes. There are a number of things there we can talk about parent child relationships in a minute as a separate issue, but from a normal parent child relationship let's look at it.

Let's say these are the parents and this is the child, what do the parents have to do? They have to repent for the fact that they chose to hurt the child and they have to repent for the fact that they chose to avoid their own process of forgiveness. Because if they hadn't avoided that process of forgiveness they would never have hurt the child.

You have to repent for every hurt in the child you purposefully created, and you have to repent for the fact that you chose to create those hurts to avoid your own pain. They are the things you need to repent about. If you repent about those things you will be drawn to go back into forgiveness of the cause, which is all about your own parents.

Remember Laura's father had two parents, yes? The previous generation, mum and dad, and obviously he had all of those feelings from them somewhere in his childhood. He chose to ignore it all. He chose to try to cover it all over and live in his facade. He chose to not forgive. His choice to not forgive created the dynamic with his daughter, which caused her damage, so he needs to repent for the fact that he chose to not forgive.

In fact the reality is that we all need to repent for the fact that we chose to not forgive, because all of us have chosen to not forgive. Because if we would have we would have no hurt emotion in us at all right at this point.

Participant Female: But I'm just thinking of the damage that I did to my child as a result of all of that stuff and also ...

Jesus: Well no there's two points of damage you did to your child. One is when you chose not to forgive your parents, that's one point of damage, and then there was each individual choice you made to hurt your child purposefully.

Participant Female: Oh so it's purposeful. It's not ...

Jesus: When I say purposefully, I'm saying were you unloving towards your child? There were individual occasions when you were definitely unloving towards your child.

Participant Female: Very much I mean I tried to get rid of her.

Jesus: Yes so there are quite a lot of things to repent for. So there's the one thing: which is the fact that you avoided forgiveness of all the things you needed to forgive. Then there's the multitude of things: which is what you did to harm the child specifically. Whether you knew about it or not, you did things to harm the child specifically and you'll need to repent for every one of those things.

Participant Female: Yes, and Laura didn't make any of those harming decisions with her child.

Jesus: She didn't, no, which is great because it means she chose to love.

4. Audience questions

4.1. Taking responsibility for investigating truth as an adult

Participant Female: I'll ask now because I was confused the other day and I didn't ask. How does a child know to forgive? Like in Laura's case which I think is quite similar to my own …

Jesus: Yes, the child doesn't know; the answer is the child doesn't know how to forgive. It was never modelled; it was never taught. It was never taught about love ‒ remember, right at the start of our presentations ‒ that love is something that we've never been educated about. So this child doesn't know that; it should when it's a child. But as it gets a use of its own will what is it then?

Participant Female: Is that like teenage rebellion?

Jesus: Well by the time we start growing up and we start changing. Remember I've said it happens gradually, again from zero onwards we're starting to learn the use of our will. There gets to be a time when you're mostly using your own will and not reflective upon other people's will. At that point we've also chosen to continue to not forgive ‒ we've made a choice ‒ now that choice is certainly attributed to us, and why wouldn't it be, it's our own choice? Say exactly what you think, Suz. I can feel the feelings in there. Just say them.

Participant Female: I'm thinking about like ...

Jesus: You think it's unfair and say why?

Participant Female: No, I don't. It's more about ...

Jesus: No you do. Say why?

Participant Female: Do I? Okay, if I think about myself as a teenager living in my parents’ home, I felt like I was just being pelted by their projections on me.

Jesus: You were but at some point you left your parents’ home and what did you choose to do?

Participant Female: I went straight into a relationship pretty much. I mean I was twenty-one when I left home.

Jesus: Yes but you went into a relationship ‒ what, your parents forced you into a relationship?

Participant Female: No I was sort of evicted from home at twenty-one because they didn't really need me to be part of the family dynamic anymore, and I moved to another city and I sort of found a man who looked like he loved me, and gave me the things I thought I needed.

Jesus: Yes you found a man who met some of your addictions.

Participant Female: Exactly.

Jesus: So isn't that your fault now?

Participant Female: But I don't believe that I had any understanding of the dynamics.

Jesus: But it's like me saying I murdered somebody but I didn't know that murdering was wrong.

Participant Female: But something in my soul would absolutely know that murdering was wrong.

Jesus: Not necessarily, it depends on what you've grown up with. You see with every problem that you raise, I say, "here's an extreme of that issue you're raising, is that logical? I don't think that's logical." There was a time you made the choice to go and have a relationship with a guy who met your addictions. Your parents didn't force you into doing that.

Participant Female: Okay.

Jesus: You chose that; that's part of the exercise of your will. Who’s it attributed to? Well for the most part it's attributed to yourself. Not all of it, because God knows that some of your addictions in what you created there, was to do with the fact that you haven't forgiven your parents for what they did, and they did some things to you which caused you to have some of those addictions. God knows that too.

Participant Female: Okay so like ...

Jesus: But can you see what you're wanting now is to go, "Okay I want a list from God of all the things I did right and all the things I did wrong. And I want God to tell me which ones of those I need to repent for and which ones of those I need to forgive? Can you see if that happened you would never do anything sincerely?

Participant Female: Yes I can see that.

Jesus: You wouldn't do any of it sincerely if that happened.

Participant Female: Because I wouldn't feel it.

Jesus: Correct, so you're going to have to feel through this process and you don't want to. You want me to tell you things and you don't want to have to feel through the process. You're going to have to feel through this process, and you will feel things as you go through this process. You'll feel, "Oh wow, yes you know that addiction that I had that caused me to go and get this man and marry him. Well I was acting out that addiction but that addiction came from my relationship with my dad that I didn't forgive, and I chose to not forgive in the moment. I chose to be clueless about it. I chose to not investigate and naturally I chose those things because my parents didn't want me to investigate." Your parents still don't want you to investigate do they? How old are you now Suz?

Participant Female: I'm about sixty-four.

Jesus: You're sixty-four and your parents, how old are they now?

Participant Female: Eighty-two and eighty-seven.

Jesus: And they still don't want to you to investigate?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: Sure they are partially responsible for all the things that you haven't wanted to investigate, because they imposed that emotion upon you in your childhood. That's one of the emotions you're going to have to forgive them for. The fact that they didn't want you to investigate any truth and still don't.

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: And that is certainly something you'll need to forgive them for if you want to move forward on the path, but you can't then say, as a sixty-four year old woman, that all of your choices that you've made since you were zero, have been the result of their refusal to allow you to investigate.

Participant Female: No completely not.

Jesus: Exactly, Your choice to not investigate certain things was driven by your own desires, just like their choice to not investigate things were driven by their own desires, which they nurtured and allowed to grow. Then they put a heap of pressure on you as a young child to not challenge the status quo, and they need to repent for that. But you then decided to not challenge the status quo, and by the time you became an adult you still weren’t challenging the status quo; you were still going along with all their stuff, even though sometimes you knew it was wrong.

Everything that you knew that was wrong in particular, you're going to have to repent for, and the things you didn't know were wrong, you're still going to have to repent for, but there won't be as much of a signature about it, as there was for the things that you knew were wrong and yet you purposefully engaged.

For you guys now, if you purposefully engage anger after you've learnt that it's a sin towards another person, that's much worse than engaging anger before you knew it was a sin. Can you see that?

God looks at all these factors and situations. The question then becomes, do you look at all these things? Do you allow yourself to feel the feelings involved in the process? Most of the time we don't and that's why we don't have God's opinion about it all.

5. Repentance and forgiveness relationships (continued)

5.1. A scale of progress in repentance and forgiveness (continued)

Participant Male: Just to clarify that sliding scale that you created there, of going up five, ten percent. If I keep doing the soul work then all that will sort of become a clear thing to work out?

Jesus: Yes when you start this you're in denial. Denial means you don't know anything. Denial means you don't even want to understand anything, let alone know it. Then you work through your intellectual processes that we've described to deconstruct, and you start wanting to know and you start developing a desire to know and a desire to feel, and then you have your first feeling about the issue.

The feeling like we were talking about with Loise today, that feeling like, "My mum did something wrong here. She treated me really badly and it feels really bad and there's been a terrible effect for the rest of my life, and when I sit down about it, I sometimes just cry about the terrible effect that it's had on my life." (See 20140718 Personal Truth ‒ Loise White)

That's the feeling where you've made that first choice emotionally, to actually start deconstructing it from an emotional perspective. But then you get to blockages, like the blockage that Loise identified ‒ the block of not wanting to go further, because she wants certain things from mum and she also doesn't want to face that she herself actually agrees with her mum to a degree. That's the emotion that she didn't want to feel; that caused her to then want things from mum still ‒ so it's blocking her so she needs to feel that emotion.

Each emotion that you feel along that way releases another part of emotion, and draws you into becoming a more loving individual. So remember this is one hundred percent loving on that one issue, and zero percent is no love at all on that one issue. You're slowly progressing from one place to another through this educational process that involves your emotion.

A scale of repentance and forgiveness, where zero is complete denial and one hundred percent is complete forgiveness and repentance. There are steps of progress between those two points

5.2. An example of a participant who was bullied as a teenager

Participant Female: Pete and I were discussing the repentance and forgiveness and we had a couple of examples we were confused about. One thank you you've answered; the other one was about bullying and it's Pete's example. He's just not here, but he was bullied very severely at school at around twelve to thirteen and we were wondering, obviously the unlovingness was done to him, but does he also have repentance to do there as well?

Jesus: Did he treat them badly?

Participant Female: No he didn't treat any of them badly.

Jesus: So does he have repentance?

Participant Female: No he doesn't. So it's the same thing. Thank you.

Jesus: Mind you he could have got really angry with them, and then decided to do what some people do, and shoot them. Then of course he would have repentance because he now did something unloving as a result.

See we've got to get back to the main definition each time. Did I do something unloving towards others or did they do something unloving towards me? What was it from God's perspective?

6. Feelings determine whether repentance or forgiveness is required

Jesus: For example I walk past you in the street. I know you and I just walk straight past you in the street. Just a simple thing like that. Have I been unloving?

Participant Female: It would depend on what feelings you've got.

Jesus: Correct, so let's say my feelings are, I don't want to have another bar of that person I'm sick to death of that person. I'm just tired of them. Now my feelings are that so have I been unloving?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Yes, why?

Participant Female: Because you haven't dealt with the issues that you've got with that person, so you’re attacking them.

Jesus: But I might have walked past them because I was looking at something else. Have I been unloving?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: No, why?

Participant Female: Because you've no terrible feelings towards them at all, and you were just looking the other way.

Jesus: Yes, and let's say I walk past them and I look at them and I smile at them but I don't speak with them. Have I been loving or unloving?

Participant Female: Loving as long as the feelings again were actually not facade and you weren't just smiling, going, "I hate you."

Jesus: So if I smile and I hate you with it have I been unloving?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Okay pretty simple, isn't it?

Participant Female: Yes it is.

Jesus: But can you see it requires an analysis of your true feelings, and most of you don't even know your true feelings and that's going to be a problem to work it all out. That's why it's so important to know your true feelings, but it is quite simple. You know when you feel angry with someone or upset with someone you walk up to someone and you go, "Oh no." You know that feeling? If you loved them what would you do?

Participant Male: If you engage with them be honest about what your feelings are. Or I guess it depends on why you feel like that. If it's because they're projecting neediness towards you or something like that, or if it's because it's something else that's inside you. I guess it just depends on that situation.

Jesus: Correct, of course it depends, it depends. Is the "Oh no" just because I just don't like the look of them? Or is the "Oh no" because I'm feeling something from them and it's tiring to engage them? Well what is the "Oh no" about? And also have I talked to them about it before? Have I been honest with them about it before? Have I told them about it before? Because if I loved them I would have done that probably. Can you see every situation is going to differ depending upon what? The emotions involved; your feelings involved in the situation. That's what it's going to depend upon.

And how do you know whether you're loving? Isn't it about the emotions again. True love is an emotion, isn't it? It's an emotion. ‒ emotions have to be felt in order for you to love somebody.

6.1. Becoming more emotionally sensitive to assess feelings

Jesus: Can you see it's all about becoming emotionally sensitive, isn't it really? Becoming one hundred percent loving, and remember that's our goal. Our goal is to become one hundred percent loving, and it doesn't matter in the end if we want to be at-one with God or not. At the end of the day we are going to be one hundred percent loving either way. We’re going to have to be if we want to progress.

Of course if it's without God then it's going to stop at one point, because we're not loving the greatest Person in the Universe, but of course that's going to put a bit of a block on things right at some point? But before then you need to grow in love. It doesn't matter if we involve God or not, we still need to do it, and it's all about learning love, but you can't learn love in your head can you?

It has to be emotional: there has to be some emotional engagement in this process in order to become loving. And that's going to mean releasing from yourself the unloving emotions so that you can actually feel the loving ones. That means that you're going to have to be able to assess yourself as you're walking along the street going, "How am I feeling? Do I feel loving towards this person or that person?"

I go walking down to the supermarket, "Good day, how are you doing?" Whatever feel loving towards that person and then someone comes along, I walk up to this woman she's standing there, she's got a big trolley right in the middle you can't move past either way and she just sits there. She sees you there, she doesn’t let you pass.

I just cross my legs like that and go, "That's just real interesting. What happens: how much rage comes out of people? Let's see how long it's going to take for the spirits to realise it's going to have no effect. Sit there, sit there, oh there she goes, she just turns around and sees me and puts it aside, "There you go." She saw me before of course, but this time there was some love, because there wasn't someone influencing her to hate, you know. And the spirits knew they didn't have an effect, so they just let me pass now. But if I just sat there and they wouldn't let me pass, wouldn’t let me pass. I'd be going, okay there's something going on here that's a bit weird, because if I love her and I love the spirits with her, sooner or later they won’t be able to bear it and they will let me pass.

Then I've got to feel my own feelings. Maybe I'm feeling a bit angry today about women and how they've treated me, and maybe that's why they're not letting me pass today. I’ve got to feel what I’m feeling, I've got to know what I'm feeling to correctly assess the situation.

6.2. Feeling through emotions when they arise in an interaction

Participant Male: Dan and I were having a talk about this sort of stuff, and especially about feeling things from people and how much to just think, especially in a practical way like, "This is my Law of Attraction, I just need to feel this," or communicating that, "Oh I'm feeling triggered." Or how in a loving sense and in an honest sense to communicate with people or not.

Jesus: I agree with all that Paul but I feel all that's intellectual. You have to do that, because you won't open up to the emotion, but that’s not going to change anything until you start getting into the emotion of it. So I agree you need to look at God's Law of Attraction and what it's bringing to you through the condition of your soul. You need to look at that, but initially when we do that it’s all intellectual, half the time we don't even know if we’re honest with ourselves, "Why is this happening again? I’ve got no idea what that is."

This is where we need to engage the process emotionally now, and to engage it emotionally is very different to engaging it intellectually ‒ a very different process. But you were going to say?

Participant Male: Well say lining up in the dining room and you're next to somebody that you feel triggered by and then thinking, "Okay I just will sort of look elsewhere."

Jesus: No, why would you do that?

Participant Male: Well I guess in a childlike sort of way it's like, like this is uncomfortable and so not engage the person in a sense.

Jesus: What would be the loving thing to do?

Participant Male: To be honest.

Jesus: Well to be honest with yourself, so what do you need to do first?

Participant Male: Connect with how I feel.

Jesus: Connect with how you feel. Is the feeling that you're having with the other person, is it loving?

Participant Male: No.

Jesus: So there's something going on between the two of you that's unloving?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: So you'd have to acknowledge that wouldn't you?

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: And then you'd have to feel, "What is it that's going on between the two of us that's unloving? What do I feel? What do I feel? I feel a bit angry that I've got this person," and then I'd reflect upon, do I know this person from the past or something? What in the past has caused this? If I've known them before or if they're new, there’s something coming from this person and I'm really angry about it. My anger is my sin.

I've got to feel about, okay I'm sitting here being angry, so I've got to feel what's going on, rather than just getting upset about it or rage about it. And then once you feel your own feelings, it's highly likely you'll be able to feel what's coming from them. Then you'll have all sorts of understanding and you haven't even had to talk to them. You haven't had to say anything.

6.3. Speaking up with truth depends upon the situation

Participant Male: But you said you would say something like, "I'm feeling uncomfortable here and just take a breath and feel."

Jesus: Did I say I would say something, did I? Because I can't remember saying that.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: I said some if's in front of that from memory. Can you remember the if's? See to me if you listen to everything I've said about saying things to other people. Would I say something to a person who I know does not want to hear?

Participant Male: No.

Jesus: Well it depends on the situation. What's the situation?

Participant Male: Whether they're unloving to me or not.

Jesus: Correct, do you see it just depends on the situation? If they're not even aware or they're trying to be unloving to me, then yes I would probably say something. If they're in my face and want engagement with me and I'm just saying, "No I don't want the engagement thanks very much," and they're staying in my face trying to want the engagement then I'd probably say something.

But if they're just standing next to me and they don't want to engage me, and all I’m doing is feeling something from their soul, why would I say anything? I'm not feeling from them that they want to hear from me. I'm not feeling like I want to share. Why would I say something? You see you guys want rules all the time. You know why you want rules all the time? Because you don't want to feel.

Mary: And isn't our desire to say something to everyone who triggers a little emotion just because we don't want to feel as well?

Jesus: Correct, I don't say things to you because you trigger me. Most of the time what happens when you trigger me? I go home and have a cry and you don't hear anything about it ever. There are many things that you guys have done the entire week that could have triggered me that were unloving, but I just go away and feel them if I have to. Most of the time I just observe and I go, "Well I've felt past all of that. I know that person is unloving I don't expect anything different." Like I've already gone through the feelings of all of that, and you don't even know.

The only reason why I'm telling you things right now is because you're here because you wanted to be. You wanted to know.

That's why I'm telling you, that's all. That's the only reason. And if I feel from some of you that you don't want to know then I don't tell you. I just don't. Why would I? It doesn’t help you if you get told something when you don't want to know it. So it depends on the situation. How do I know how to assess any situation with love? By feeling what is love in the situation. That's how I know.

6.4. How God treats us depends on the situation

Jesus: Does God treat every one of you the same? I'm sorry God doesn't. God doesn't treat every one of you the same. Like sometimes I get love and you don't get any. That's God treating us differently, isn't it? Why don't you get any? Because God honours your choice. God honours your free will; God honours it.

Quite often I'll have three people come up. Outwardly they have exactly the same situation, everything looks the same on the outside. They come up and I treat every one of those people completely differently. Why? Because if you feel them, you can feel the difference in each one of those people. You can feel the difference in their desire; you can feel the difference in their will. You can feel the difference in their desire to love. You can feel the difference in their motivations. You can even feel when they're asking you a question when all they really want to do is stab you in the back. You can feel all those things in the moment, and of course you're going to treat every one of them differently.

If one comes up and asks me a question and all he wants to do is stab me in the back, do you think I’m going to treat him the same way as the person who comes up and asks me a question who has a really sincere desire to know the answer? I can't treat them the same way, they are different. They might look the same on the outside, they might even ask the same question. They are going to get a completely different answer.

This is how God treats you. God treats you the same way. Why? Because every one of you has different motivations, different emotions, different feelings, different projections at God, different feelings towards God and so forth, and so God is going to treat you as the individual that you are.

Now God loves all of you the same; but God treats all of you very differently. Can you see that there is no what I would call contradiction in that statement? God loves all of you the same. God still has the same amount of love for all of God's children inside of God, but God will treat all of you very differently because all of you are using your wills differently, and God honours your will. When you love, you will do the same. You will do the same as that.

6.5. Speaking up with truth depends upon the situation (continued)

Jesus: You won't feel impelled to go up and tell every single person you've ever met what's wrong with them and your relationship. You won't. Why would you? All that you need to do is heal your part of it. That's all you need to do. Now if they come up to you and they're in your face, then you may tell them, because of how they are using their will differently, so you may tell them.

But many of you feel drawn into telling people, only because you're angry and you want the other person to stop whatever they are doing. You want to drag the other person into your emotional work. That's unloving. Just like being angry with them is being unloving. You're going to have to repent for that at some point. The reason why you want rules is because you can't feel. When you feel you won't need rules anymore, because you'll be able to feel in every single case what the loving thing, the most loving thing is to do.

That's a part of your lessons in love; that’s a part of the education. You'll feel every single situation and you'll feel what the right thing is to do from that feeling that you have, because you're now sensitive to what love would do.

6.6. The importance of feeling to engage the Way

Jesus: You all went quiet there. Why is that? You see, the problem with what we've done in the last week is this: if you go home and without any feeling try to practice what we taught you, you're just going to be doing what you've done for the last five years and it's going to get you nowhere, just like it's got you nowhere in the past. But if you go home and go, "Okay I've learnt some very basic things about my feelings and I need to feel some things before I can move forward," and you actually choose to feel those particular things with sincerity and you use your will to discover more about love, then you will benefit from what we've talked to you about this week ‒ you will.

But it really gets down to your own choice again doesn't it? You see? It does get down to your own choice. Are you going to choose the emotional way, God's Way? Or are you going to keep doing it your way, the way that hasn't worked? That's your choice.

Now you can apply everything we've talked about to your way and none of it will work; or I probably should say more correctly, you can attempt to apply everything that we've taught you your way and none of it will work. But to be honest with you, you're not really applying everything we're saying, because one of the primary things we're saying, is that you need to get connected emotionally to your real feelings and self. If you don't do that none of it can work; none of it can.

6.7. Being honest about our current feelings about engaging the Way

Jesus: If where you're at right now is you're saying to yourself, "I don't want to. I don't want to do that," then honour that, that's where you're at right now. That's where you've decided to be. Feel what it feels like. Feel the pain of your life and go, "Wow this is all because I've just chosen I don't want to do it." Let yourself feel where you're at, be honest about where you're at. That's an improvement over denial, and that's an improvement over trying to say that you're doing things great when you're not, isn't it?

You’ve at least come face to face with how things really are, that's fantastic. That's a better place than where many of you have been in the past, where you're in total denial of where you are, and you think everything's fine when everything’s not, but you're trying to convince yourself everything is. That doesn't work. You've tried that a bit, some of you have tried that for a long time. Don't do that anymore. Be really honest where you're at.

If some of you are honest you don't want to give up your physical addictions, be honest about it. Some of you use your physical addictions for comfort, security, safety, all these fictitious things that we've created. Be honest about it.

Honesty, sincerity is going to be your primary quality that you need to develop in your relationship with God. So why not start being really honest?

Participant Female: I'm getting a sense, and I want to just clarify, that if I start really desiring and praying for a pure desire, so if I start with, "I don't want to." Like that would be honest if that were the case, which honestly there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to, okay.

Jesus: And some of you part of you feels like, "It's all unfair. Why do I have to do so much work? Why can't it be easier? Why can't someone else do it for me?"

Participant Female: Right, so one of the things I've seen you model, especially on all of those yesterday with wonderful personal conversations, was that if I start with that where I am and then ask the question, "Why do I not want to give it all that I’ve just learnt?" that these other feelings that you were just mentioning this moment will start to rise. If I really say, "Okay gosh I really don't want to, but this is insane. Why don't I want to?" And that's what I'm beginning to feel, and then the other things start to emerge.

Jesus: Correct.

6.8. Identifying and feeling emotional blockages

Participant Female: That’s what I feel you're saying to us ‒ okay start with where you're are, ask why and then see what else comes up.

Jesus: Yes now if you look at all of my recordings over the last seven years, I don't know how many times I've actually said those words exactly like that. Honestly they’re in a lot of videos. Ask yourself why. Be honest about where you are and ask yourself why. A very, very important part of your progress.

I do that all the time with myself, "Am I honest with where I am? Yeah the reality is today I feel a bit angry with Mary, no I do. Today I just feel like going down to my tent and staying there all day you know, why?" And if you're honest with your feelings you'll find out why very rapidly. And then if you choose to feel them that why won't be with you anymore. If you choose to feel them, but the key is to choose to feel them. That's where one of our major blocks are ‒ we don't choose to feel them.

At the beginning of this year many of you have not seen all the talks yet, but we gave a series of talks at Kyabra about Understanding Your Emotional Self. (See 20140208 Relationship With God ‒ Understanding Your Emotional Self S1; 20140209 Relationship With God ‒ Understanding Your Emotional Self S2; 20140524 Relationship With God ‒ Understanding Your Emotional Self S3; 20140525 Relationship With God ‒ Understanding Your Emotional Self S4) My suggestion to all of you is to look at all of those talks, because they will impact upon you in terms of understanding why this has to be an emotional process. My suggestion is have a look at those talks, because we focused a lot of attention for those who were present, on the emotional side of doing this work ‒ very important.

7. Closing words

Jesus: I haven't covered all of the material that I wanted to cover about repentance and forgiveness, so as we've said to you, we will be putting up some FAQs about repentance and forgiveness. My suggestion is if you have more questions about it, send them in and we'll include these questions in the FAQs about repentance and forgiveness.

But hopefully from some of these discussions of the dynamics, we've been able to identify for you where the repentance relationship is, and where the forgiveness relationship is, which was one of your homework questions wasn’t it? Two of them actually. Where am I trying to repent when I should be forgiving? And where am I trying to forgive when I should be repenting? Were two of the questions. And so now we should be at least able to see where we're going to need to repent and forgive, by discussing some of these practical circumstances and situations.

Now that's not everything that we're going to discuss with you about repentance and forgiveness, but we are not going to get the time to do that.

Resources

For more information:

Divine Truth Website: divinetruth.com

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Reminder From Jesus & Mary

Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

Please remember that due to these limitations, information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

Other compilation books can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Handbook

Workbook

Prayer

Humility

Law of Attraction

Parenting

Soulmates

Solomon’s Message

Positively Responding to Spirit Influence

Secrets of the Universe

What Happens When You Die

Understanding Sin

The Way including Putting It All Together and Eternal Benefits

The Truth & Purpose of Jesus’ Life

How the Human Soul Functions

Faith & Prayer

Sincerity

Sexual Attraction

Fear (Revisited)

Anger is Your Guide

Forgiveness & Repentance

Addictions

The Gift of Free Will

The Three Selves & The Façade

Deconstructing the Façade & Experiencing the Hurt Self

Ethics & Morality

What Is Your Treasure

Passionately Desiring Positive Change & Taking Personal Responsibility

Qualities of Divine Truth & Desiring Divine Truth

The Power of Your Soul and Denial of the Soul

Laws Governing Love of Others and Love of Self

Law of Desire & Law of Cause & Effect

Pseudo vs True Spirituality

Getting To Know God & The World’s Definition of God

Why We Resist God & Emotional Blockages to God

Emotional Processing

Understanding Your Emotional Self

Laws of Rapport & Spirit Communication and The ‘Sleep’ State

Emotions & The ‘Mother’ Taboo and Emotions, Truth & Families

The World’s Definition of Love

Who and What God is and The Prodigal Son

The Conscience