DIVINE TRUTH

Parenting

Divine Truth

Discover God’s Universal Truth and Receive God’s Love

(all information can be found at divinetruth.com)

Preface and Compilation by Pat Stewart

patdotstewart@gmail.com

05 Dec 2025

All compilations can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Front Cover Photo: betidraws (pixabay.com)

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Preface

This is an independent project undertaken by me and is not associated with Jesus & Mary and the Divine Truth Organization.

This book is a collection of excerpts from the Human Relationship series from the Divine Truth website focusing on Parenting Children in a manner that's harmonious with God's Love.

The seminars used for this compilation are:

Parenting Children Session 1 – March 7, 2009

Parenting Children Session 2 – March 8, 2009

Other than this Preface, I did not write any of the material in this book. All information came from the Divine Truth website.

Pat Stewart

patdotstewart@gmail.com

Table of Contents

Preface

Human Relationships “Parenting” Children Outline

Parenting Children S1P1

1. Introduction

1.1. Reminders about the human soul

1.2. Comments about parents' emotions regarding the subject

2. The pristine child of God

2.1. The child is God's child, not our child

2.2. The child is pristine in its soul condition

2.3. The child is a sponge for the emotions of its environment

2.4. The child cannot protect itself at the soul level

2.5. The child is just learning to use its own free will, and is becoming individualised

3. Audience questions

3.1. Sibling's emotions towards the child reflect the parents' emotions

3.2. The cause of Asperger's Syndrome and autism in children

3.3. The impact on a child being conceived through rape

3.4. It is damaging to suppress emotions

3.5. The time in the womb is the most damaging for the child

3.6. Children can receive God's Love in the womb

4. The parents' responsibility towards the child

4.1. The parent is a surrogate parent for God

4.2. Teaching love and truth

4.3. Teaching free will

4.4. Teaching God's Laws

4.5. Protection of the child

5. Audience questions

5.1. Children reflect parent's denied emotions

5.2. Co-dependent links exist between children and their parents for unhealed emotions

5.2.1. An example of believing that love is service

5.2.2. Estranged parents and children

5.3. The role of stepparents

6. The parents' responsibility towards themselves

6.1. The parent has free will

6.1.1. An example of tidying up after messy children

6.2. The parent cannot love the child by sacrificing his or herself

6.2.1. An example of cooking meals for the family

6.3. The parent cannot sacrifice their relationship with God for the child

6.4. Mirror God’s treatment of ourselves when caring for the child

6.4.1. An example of teaching children about the Law of Desire and Law of Attraction

6.4.2. An example of teaching children about the Law of Compensation

7. Audience questions

7.1. An example of cooking meals for the family (continued)

7.2. Standing firm with children

7.2.1. An example of tidying up after messy children (continued)

7.3. Teaching children about God in a resistant household

7.4. An example of a participant's son who has left the seminar

7.5. Being consistent with emotions, actions and words

7.5.1. An example of buying a dog for a child

7.6. An example of a parent who is worried about other's opinions of her as a mother

8. The damage of the parents' denial of personal emotions to the child

8.1. Every single emotion denied by the parent will be felt and experienced in full by the child

8.1.1. An example of a mother who is angry with men

8.2. When the parent shuts down the child’s experience of any emotion, this is very damaging

8.2.1. An example of a mother who is angry with men (continued)

8.2.2. An example of the parent feeling unloved

8.2.3. The effect of shutting down reflected emotions in children

9. Audience questions

9.1. An example of a participant who feels she is a bad mother

9.2. Parents are always responsible for their children's emotions if the emotion came from the parent

9.3. An example of a child throwing a rebellious tantrum in response to having a knife confiscated

9.4. An example of AJ allowing a child to fully experience his emotions

9.5. Reasons for children reflecting different amounts of emotion to the parents

9.6. Identifying the parent whose emotions are being reflected

9.7. Children are perfect reflectors of adults' emotions

9.8. An example of a participant, who is a parent, feeling tired and hopeless

9.9. An example of AJ allowing a child to fully experience his emotions (continued)

Parenting Children S1P2

10. The damage to the child of the parents' denial of personal desires

10.1. If the parents suppress sexual desires, this impacts on the child’s entire sexual identity

10.1.1. An example of shame of nudity and sexual shame

10.1.2. An example of finding two children playing with each other sexually

10.1.3. Creating sexual shame in children

10.2. If the parent denies their own desire, the child feels its desires need to also be suppressed

11. Audience questions

11.1. An example of a child walking in on its parents having sex

11.2. Identifying the parent whose emotions are being reflected for separated parents

12. Understanding the child’s Law of Attraction

12.1. An example of a child breaking a leg

12.2. Identifying emotions that created the Law of Attraction event

12.2.1. An example of a parent being distracted by her child

13. Audience questions

13.1. An example of a participant's son working through his own emotions

13.2. An example of a participant who walked in on his parents having sex

13.3. Releasing our parent's Law of Attraction from our lives

13.4. An example of a son who only cries in front of his mother

13.5. Educating children about sex

14. Understanding the child’s Law of Attraction (continued)

14.1. An example of a participant's son who had two life threatening Law of Attraction events

14.2. The parent needs to understand how the Law of Attraction operates for their child

15. Processing emotions

15.1. Accessing causal emotions

15.1.1. An example of AJ not wanting to be loved

15.1.2. Feeling about childhood events

15.1.3. An example of not wanting to be loved

15.2. How children process emotions

15.3. Working through blockages to causal emotion

15.4. An example of Mary working through blockages

15.5. Working through blockages to causal emotion (continued)

15.5.1. Surrendering to God

15.5.2. Feeling depressed and despondent

15.6. An example of a participant who creates childhood fantasies

15.7. An example of a participant who feelings guilty for being a bad parent

15.7.1. Being repentant rather than feeling guilty

15.7.2. Guilt covers deeper emotions

15.8. Facing the truth about our parents' unloving behaviour towards us

15.8.1. Accessing emotions immediately when they arise

15.8.2. Feeling to blame for our parents' treatment of us

15.9. An example of a participant jumping from one emotion to another

Parenting Children S2P1

2. An interview with a child, Soul, whose father has left home

3. An interview with Soul's mother, Neena

3.1. An illustration of the Soul shutting down his grief to appease Neena's fear

4. Working through fear

4.1. An example of a participant releasing some fear

4.1.1. Allowing the emotion rather than analysing it intellectually

5. An interview with a Soul's mother, Neena (continued)

6. An interview with a parent, Nada, who is a mother of two men

6.1. An illustration of a son who is angry with Nada

6.2. Reasons for anger in children towards their parents

7. An interview with a child, Leyla, who feels she has to keep her parents happy

8. An interview with the Leyla's mother, Cartia

8.1. Self-punishment and self-blame take us further from the core emotions

8.2. An illustration of the mother having an abusive father

8.2.1. Working through blockages

8.2.2. The creation of self-punishment and self-blame emotions

8.3. Self-punishment and self-blame take us further from the core emotions (continued)

8.3.1. Working through the self-blame addiction

8.4. Assimilating more Divine Truth when our soul opens to truth

9. Addictions keep us from feeling deeper underlying emotions

9.1. Physical illness is due to denial of emotions

9.1.1. An example of a woman who cured her hyper-thyroidism

10. An interview with a parent, Brett, who has an angry son

10.1. Being addicted to anger to feel powerful and avoid sadness

11. An interview with a mother, S'raya, and her son Michael

11.1. Breaking the addiction in Michael to please and look after S'raya

12. An interview with a woman, Alison, who was in a religious cult

12.1. Working through blockages to feeling emotions

12.2. Working through anger

12.3. Working through blockages to feeling emotions (continued)

12.4. The Law of Attraction is an effect of every person involved

Parenting Children S2P2

13. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan

13.1. AJ and Tristan's mother splitting up

13.2. Cutting off his relationship with AJ

13.3. Having a mental breakdown and leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses

13.4. Going to live with AJ

13.5. Being told that AJ is Jesus

13.6. Moving to Queensland

14. AJ's perspective on his relationship with Tristan

14.1. AJ's perspective on Tristan's upbringing

14.2. Positive effects of AJ and Tristan working through their emotions

15. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan (continued)

15.1. Tristan's relationships with women

15.2. The benefits for Tristan of AJ working through his emotions

15.3. Tristan's relationships with women (continued)

16. AJ emotional experiences prior to remembering he was Jesus

17. Audience Questions

17.1. An example of a daughter reflecting her mother's blockages about feeling rage

17.2. AJ's experiences with connecting to God

18. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan (continued)

18.1. Tristan's experiences with only his father working through emotions

18.2. Tristan's relationship with God

18.3. AJ's experiences with connecting to God (continued)

18.4. Understanding the child's Law of Attraction

18.5. When parents work through their emotions it makes it easier for the child to work through theirs

18.6. Children are God's children, not ours

19. Audience questions

19.1. An example of a participant who is angry with her father for leaving

19.2. An example of a daughter mothering her mother

20. An interview with an adult daughter Anna, and her mother Karen

20.1. Discussion with Anna, who has conformed to a role to please her mother

20.2. Discussion with Karen, who withdraws to avoid emotion

20.2.1. Being afraid of Anna's anger

21. Comments from an audience member about emotions and truth

22. An interview with a child, Mitch, who has a violent and distant father, and his mother

23. Closing words

Resources

Other compilation books can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Human Relationships “Parenting” Children Outline

Introduction

Not a comprehensive “Divine Love” focused discussion of the subject

Desire is to illuminate important points regarding God’s Laws that affect the “parenting” of children

A few comments about parents’ emotions regarding this subject:

Please do not judge yourself

If feel from this discussion you have been a “bad” parent, then just feel those feelings

Negative feelings from this discussion will be due to the Law of Compensation, allow yourself to feel

Please do not get angry with yourself or myself, since that would be a denial of deeper emotions

Your reaction to this information will differ depending on whether on the Divine Love path or not

On the Natural Love path, you will concentrate on changing your own thoughts and actions

On the Divine Love path, you will concentrate on changing your soul condition

Reminders about the soul

The soul has a huge number of attributes and qualities, some of which are: Passion, Desire, Emotion, Feelings, Aspirations, Intentions, Free Will, Memory, Personality, Instinct, Natural Love, Energy

When the soul is incarnated, it is; pristine, without injuries, unaware of itself, unaware of free will

When you deny your own emotions, the emotions are intensely transmitted to your environment

1.      The Pristine Child Of God

1.1.      The child is God’s child, not our child

“Parenting” in quotations because in reality, we are not the parents of “our” children

God is the parent; we are caretakers until they are able to utilize their free will to care for themselves

The child is a younger sister/brother to ourselves

1.2.      The child is pristine in its soul condition

The child incarnates with NO soul damage

All soul damage that occurs from the moment of incarnation is a combination of:

The parents unhealed and unfelt emotions

The parents stopping the child from feeling its emotions

The choices of the child as it matures

1.3.      The child is a sponge for the emotions of its environment

The child assimilates beliefs/emotions/passions/desires from its environment without resistance

What the child receives from its environment combines with its personality to determine its actions

The child reflects (acts out) the emotions coming from its environment

What the environment suppresses (locks up) in the child will cause the child’s soul condition to degrade

1.4.      The child cannot protect itself (at the soul level)

When the child first incarnates:

The child cannot protect itself from its environment

It is the parents combined soul condition that protects the child from external damage

The child cannot protect itself from false beliefs or negative emotions of the parents

A young child’s reactions are totally the reflection of the unhealed and unfelt emotions of its environment

As the child grows, the proportion of reactions of the child slowly moves towards self-responsibility

1.5.      The child has its own unique personality

The personality of the child was created by God and is completely individual

Each child will react differently to the same stimuli due to their individual personality

Parents often condemn the personality of the child, rather than seeing the truth about the child’s reactions

Expecting children to react in the same way to the same events is unloving and unattainable

1.6.      The child is just learning to use its own free will, and is becoming individualized

The child incarnates with NO experience and NO awareness of self

The child incarnates with NO idea about free will

The child gains awareness of itself and how to exercise free will through its emotional experiences

2.      The Parents Responsibility Towards The Child

2.1.      Parent is a surrogate (stand-in or proxy) parent for God

As a parent, you have taken the responsibility to care for another child of God (your brother or sister)

Important to treat the child how God would treat the child

Treatment out of harmony with how God would treat the child will result in soul damage (parent & child)

Connecting to the child emotionally, and to God emotionally, will guide the parent in all his/her actions

2.2.      Teaching love & truth

The parents’ highest responsibility is to teach love and truth to the child

Includes teaching how to reflect and grow Natural Love (the love that comes from within the child)

Includes teaching how to receive Divine Love (the love that comes from God)

Includes teaching the importance of truth, both personal integrity and Divine Truth

2.3.      Teaching free will

The child’s free will needs to be respected and encouraged at all times

The child needs to be taught to respect and encourage other people’s free will at all times

Abortion is the attempt to remove free will from the child, & results in serious soul damage to the parent

Reference: “The True Gospel Volume 3” Spirit message from Sarah Wilson (Abortionist)

2.4.      Teaching God’s laws

If the parent receives Divine Love, he/she will automatically find teaching God’s Laws very simple

If the parent is on the Natural Love path, he/she will need to discover God’s Laws to teach them

The parent has no right to make or attempt to enforce more laws than God has already made

The parent has the responsibility to allow God’s Laws full influence over the child

2.5.      Satisfaction of soul-based needs takes priority

Physical needs of the child, although important, are not as important as the soul-based needs

Soul-based needs include the need for love, the need for truth, the need to be allowed to hear what I hear, think what I think, feel what I feel, see what I see, know what I know.

If the parent focuses attention on material or physical needs, then the child is taught to do the same

2.6.      Protection of the child

True protection of the child is only afforded by the soul condition of the parent

To completely protect the child, the parent needs to address firstly his/her own soul condition

The parent can pray for protection of the child if the parent is aware of its own lack in condition

God always shows personal interest in the protection of the child (hence the assignment of a guardian)

3.      The Parents Responsibility Towards Themselves

3.1.      The parent has free will

The parent does not have to do anything for the child that the child demands (e.g. music lessons)

The parent does not have to do anything for the child that the child wants outside of what is loving

The parent cannot be manipulated by the child if the parent is fully aware of its own free will

3.2.      The parent cannot love the child by sacrificing his or her self

If you sacrifice yourself as a parent, you are no longer being loving to the child or to yourself

Sacrifice of self teaches the child how to sacrifice itself in interactions with others

Eg. The parent “helping” others to their own detriment or sorrow

Breaking this law of love creates major soul damage to the child

3.3.      The parent cannot sacrifice their relationship with God for the child

Yelling at, or getting angry with, a child to protect it is in violation of God’s Laws

Eg. Screaming at a child to not play with a spider (Law of Attraction event for the parent)

Sacrificing spiritual development for the child would violate the law of self-love

Eg. Not taking time out for parents’ own development or intimacy with each other

Protecting the child by killing or hurting someone else would violate the law of love

Eg. Choosing to harm someone who has harmed the child

Helping the child break God’s Laws would violate the parents’ relationship with God

Eg. Lying for the child in any circumstance, asking the child to lie for the parent

3.4.      Mirror God’s treatment of ourselves when caring for the child

Do not take away from the child its Law of Attraction nor its Law of Compensation

Eg. Child decides to copy behaviour of other children in violation of one of God’s Laws then parent would not rescue child from the results of their actions unless they are repentant. Parent needs to examine firstly the issue within themselves.

Eg. Child wants a dog. Parent would not buy one. Instead encourage child to feel desire, long for and pray to God about their desire, learns how to care for a dog, let child’s Law of Attraction bring the dog to them. (You may still buy as a gift as long as the child has displayed a desire)

Eg. Not forcing our “help” onto children when they do not want it (God doesn’t do this for us)

4.      The Damage Of The Parents Denial Of Personal Emotions To The Child

4.1.      Every single emotion denied by the parent will be felt and experienced in full by the child

Children are the most sensitive souls surrounding the parent

Children will perfectly reflect every unacknowledged and unfelt emotion the parent denies

Eg. Woman denying grief with her father, child crying, when women no longer denies, child happy

Eg. Children having accidents, children having sickness, children in anger (all parents denial)

Eg. Children acting out sexual issues > parent’s denial of sexual repression

Eg. Children feeling anxious and afraid > parent’s denial of childhood fear

4.2.      When the parent shuts down the child’s experience of any emotion, this is very damaging

The child is just responding to the parent’s denied emotion

If the parent then punishes the child or shuts down the child from doing this, soul damage occurs

This is unjust, confusing, unloving and punishing the child for the parent’s own denied emotions

This is how the majority of soul damage occurs in children (which they carry to adulthood)

Eg. When the child is crying, the parent “gives the child something to cry about”, or hugs it ‘better”

Eg. The parent assumes the child “has a problem” that really is always the parent’s denied problem

4.3.      When the parent does what is described in 4.1. and 4.2. they add to their own soul damage

When the parent chooses denial of their own emotion, they are damaging the child

When the parent damages the child’s soul, there is Law of Compensation effects on the parents’ soul

Part of Law of Compensation effect is the child’s response to the injustice (anger, resentment, rebellion)

4.4.      Denied soul emotion within the parent causes distortions to Divine concepts of Love and Truth

The child does not learn to love itself, nor exercise its free will in a complete way

The child does not learn to live in truth with regard to emotions

Sometime in the future, the child will need to release the erroneous beliefs, which will be painful

Until the release of the erroneous beliefs, the child will attract release events which will be painful

4.5.      Denied soul emotion within the parent causes distortions to the child’s emotional experience

The child learns how to deny emotion

The child finds it hard to feel and connect with their own emotions

5.      The Damage To The Child Of The Parents Denial Of Personal Desires

5.1.      If the parent denies their own desire, the child feels its desires need to also be suppressed

When desire is suppressed in the parent, the child feels the projection of suppression upon itself

Eg. When the parent does not live in their own passion, the child is being taught to shut down desire

Eg. When the parent does not do things because of money, the child is being taught lack

Eg. When the parent sacrifices dreams, the child feels it is pointless to dream

Eg. When the parent does what they want, children will often “act out” deeper emotional denial (eg. guilt)

5.2.      If the parents suppress sexual desires, this impacts on the child’s entire sexual identity

Sexual identity is one of the key injuries of mankind, and caused by suppression in the parents

Eg. The parents never kiss in front of children > implication that sexual expression should be private

Eg. Parents make comments about movie scenes involving lovemaking > changes child’s sexual beliefs

Eg. Parents chastise children involved in public sexual play > Children feel shamed regarding sex

Eg. Woman having terrible feelings about her vagina > Female children will feel shame about bodies

Eg. Woman having dislike of penis > Male children feeling sexual shame about own body

Eg. Man stopping teenage daughter from having sex > Projection sex is dirty for a female

Eg. Parents sexual shame > daughter or son having sexual organ medical problems

6.      The Damage of Purposeful Negative Projections From The Parent To The Child

6.1.      Not wanting the child after it is conceived

Not aborting the child, but having pregnancy emotions of anger and resentment

The child absorbs these emotions as a projection of rejection, severe rejection issues during life

6.2.      Feeding your own addictions through your children

Reward/punishing the child based on their conduct > Addiction to wanting to feel you are a good parent

Pushing the child into certain career/sports etc > Addiction of wanting to feel like you are a success

Wanting the child to love you and care for you > Addition of affection/love

Parents needing to be in “control” of their children > Addicted to feeling in control, safety

6.3.      Control and Manipulation of Children

Reward/punishment systems to control the child’s conduct

The withdrawal of love from the child as a “punishment” for “bad” behaviour

The use of punishment/reward systems (violence/food, taking away things they love/giving them)

Not talking about Law of Compensation type events (natural consequence to the child’s behaviour)

Lack of understanding that child’s emotions/conduct are reflection of the parents’ denial of emotion

Eg. Example of travelling in vehicle from Miami to Cape Canaveral

Stopping the child from experiencing emotions (those emotions are acting out the parents’ denial)

When you don’t want to be sad > Try to calm down a child that is crying around you, rather than choosing to feel your own sadness which is creating the sad response in the child

When you don’t want to feel unloved > Hugging a child that has come to you to be “loved”, rather than feeling your own feelings of not being loved

6.4.      Expectations of “love” and “service” from the child

Many people have children because “they want someone to love them”

Eg. I’m your mother, I gave birth to you, now you can do “…” for me

Eg. We will talk on the phone every Sunday night because I’m your mother

Eg. You need to show appreciation by doing chores for what I’ve done for you because I’m your father

Many children leave home and act entirely different (eg. poor care of their home) due to not learning the lessons of self-love

6.5.      Emotional Projections

Anger > Very damaging, doubles the damage to the child’s soul, and Law of Compensation to the parent

Fear > Very damaging, detunes the child from its own desires and distorts their ability to see truth

Pushing the child > Father pushing the child into doing what he wants > No respect for free will

Injuries/hurts > Mother feeling men hurt me, so now you (the son) must care for me

“Hard children” > Total ignorance of the fact that the parent’s denied emotions are causing their behaviour

Sexual injuries/hurts > Shame about my own body, so tell the child to “cover up”, Father finds a young girls body sexy, so tells them to cover up if they walk through the house naked

7.      Understanding The Child’s Law of Attraction

7.1.      At conception, everything the child attracts is due to the parents’ soul condition

Both parents’ soul condition controls what happens to the child through the Law of Attraction

EVERYTHING happening to the child is the result of the parents’ collective soul condition

7.2.      At birth, the child begins gradually to exercise its own free will

The majority of emotions the child feels are not its own, but rather the parents’ denied emotions

There is a slow growth process in exercising free will towards maturity

Their own free will choices are heavily influenced by the soul damage from their environment

7.3.      The parent needs to understand how the Law of Attraction operates for their child

The parent must see what is happening to the child as the parents own Law of Attraction

Everything the child feels, especially when very young, is the result of the parents Law of Attraction

The parent owning their own emotion will greatly improve positively the child’s Law of Attraction

Eg. Child being bullied at school > actually about the parents denied emotions

Eg. Child having accidents > about the parents denied emotion (lack of self-love)

8.      The Child’s Ability To Communicate With Spirits

8.1.      Imaginary friends

Usually spirits that the child can see and talk to

Shutting down this ability just causes the child to step into fear

The child can have normal interaction with all of these people (just like on earth)

The child has a spirit guardian to protect them physically, and can be encouraged to talk to them

The child will get a spirit guide when the child exercises its free will to investigate spiritual paths

8.2.      Fearful spirit interactions

The attraction is caused by the parents Law of Attraction

Spirits may come to connect to the child, for many different reasons

These spirits are often ugly, but without much power unless the parents’ condition allows

Childhood illnesses are most often the result of negative spirit attachments (parents LoA)

The parent and child can pray for God’s protection

The parent needs to examine their own soul condition to see why their child is attracting these events

8.3.      Nightmares & Fears

Usually the result of distressing sleep state experiences, or unresolved emotions for the parent

Both situations caused by the parents Law of Attraction due to soul condition

If the parent focuses on their own emotions about the events, then these situations will no longer occur

The parent can explain in plain language what is happening to the child to alleviate their fears

9.      Teaching The Child Self-Responsibility

9.1.      Care of itself

When first born, the parent is fully responsible for the child’s physical, emotional and spiritual care

The parent would focus their attention on helping the child care for itself in these areas

The parent would slowly teach the child how to care for itself in each major area

The parent cannot teach a child to care for itself when the parent keeps within emotions of self-hatred

By the time the child exercises its complete free will, it should also know how to care for itself fully

Eg. Many boys do not know how to cook or clean up after themselves by the time they leave home

Eg. Many teenagers when they leave home do not care for their own bodies (alcohol, drugs etc)

9.2.      Care of others

When first born, the child has no real conception of others aside from their emotional projections

As the child grows, it needs to be taught how to display love for others from the heart

Parents should not manipulate this from the child, but rather encourage and praise

If a young child does not care for others, this is a reflection of the parents’ emotional condition

Eg. Many children are very self-absorbed, and don’t want to use time to care for others

Eg. Often this is due to feeling they are not loved or cared for themselves, life is too busy

9.3.      Care of the child’s own environment

When first born, the child does not know how to care for its environment Care of the environment is a reflection of the child love of itself

Eg. The child does not clean up after self > reflection that the child has not been taught to love itself

Eg. The child has poor personal hygiene > reflection of lack of love for self

9.4.      Care of others’ environment

When first born the child doesn’t know how to care for public environments

The young child will treat its environment as a reflection of the parents’ emotional condition

As the child grows, it will begin to treat its environment in the same manner as its soul condition reflects

10.      What We Can Learn From Our Children

10.1.      How a child accesses and processes emotions

Parents need to begin processing emotions in the same way (become as little children)

Parents need to learn from their child by observing what the child does with emotions

10.2.      How to get in touch with your own “inner child”

Play with the child to get in touch with your own unhealed “inner child”

10.3.      How a child trusts

A child learns rapidly because it trusts, is not cynical or proud > parents can learn from this

A child does not feel week or afraid of receiving inaccurate information

A child does not care whom it learns from, it just enjoys the learning process

10.4.      How a child has an open heart

A child’s heart is open to receiving love unless it has been damaged by its environment

A child’s heart does not keep account of injury, they are generally naturally forgiving

A child generally keeps open emotionally to the experiences and feelings coming from its environment

A child automatically respects and responds to its own Law of Attraction

10.5.      How a child is without judgment

A child doesn’t normally have prejudices; it is open to all people and events

A child does not judge the intentions of another, but can automatically feel and respond to them

A child does not normally judge itself unless the parent has taught it to do so

10.6.      How a child is their real self

A child is not impressed by false presentations of self

A child normally says and does things without trying to impress or cover over their real self

11.      The Importance Of Play & Discovery

11.1.      The Physical Universe Is God’s Kindergarten

God’s universe is designed so that we can learn about it experientially

God’s universe is the playground God has created for the soul to express its own free will completely

11.2.      Teaching Through Questions, Play and Discovery

The best way for the child to learn is by questioning the child, and having it feel for itself the answers

Encourage the child to feel and to ask God for answers to question it doesn’t know

11.3.      Discovery of self

If the child is allowed to exercise its free will it will naturally discover its own soul qualities

Encourage the child to express itself at all times

Allow the child to interact with its own body, and the external universe without restrictions

When the child is doing something unloving to itself or others, examine first your own emotional denial, then help the child to examine what it is denying within itself

11.4.      Discovery of God

Encourage a personal relationship between the child and God

Teach the child that you are the child’s older brother/sister

Teach the child that God is their real parent, and a personal relationship is possible if they want it

Show the child from your own example what it means to have a personal relationship with God

11.5.      Discovery of its environment

Allow and encourage the child to interact with its environment

Teach the child the relationships in nature, and the child’s own projections onto the environment

Allow the child to see the effects of its own actions in the environment

Encourage within the child a love for all things

11.6.      Discovery of emotions & relationships

Allow the child freedom of emotional expression without restriction

Help the child understand emotions and feelings

Be open to the child learning and working through emotional issues through their Law of Attraction

Show the child how to use their own Law of Attraction in a positive way

Teach the child about soul condition in an experiential way through day-to-day interaction

Parenting Children S1P1

1. Introduction

Jesus: Today there are quite a few things we want to talk about with you, and hopefully you will enjoy the session. You'll find quite a lot of it ‒ if you're a parent ‒ fairly confronting. So the key is just to be open emotionally. It is so interesting too that so many of the audience are on the left-hand side and hardly any on the right-hand side. This is an anti-male thing going on.

Mary: But from their perspective, that's the right.

Jesus: Oh, true, it may be an anti-female thing going on. (Laughter) You're the one in trouble if that's the case. (AJ to Mary)

Mary: Hello everyone. I'm up front and centre now it seems. I'm really excited to be talking about parenting today. It's something I feel quite passionate about ‒ about children. I'm actually not a parent, in this lifetime yet, but what I feel that we're going to present today is God's Truth on the issue, on the matters, and I feel quite firm about them. But please don't misrepresent my firmness as any lack of compassion for dealing with little beings in your care because I understand that it's quite a big deal. And I guess I have been processing some emotions about having had some kids and maybe not doing such a good job about it myself.

Jesus: So what we wanted to do today is present as much of the material that you've been handed in the seminar outline; you'll notice it is six pages long, which is the longest handout I've ever given you. Right at the beginning I'll say that this is not a comprehensive discussion about the subject of parenting children: in other words, there is quite a lot of other material we could talk about besides what we've listed. What we decided to do when we created this outline was to give you a fairly good overview of what's going on in terms of looking after children and here we're not just talking about children that are young, but rather children even right up to their adult ages, because the same principles apply right the way through.

We'd like to have as much of your participation as possible, but what we thought was we would actually go through a section, and then if you have questions about that particular section, we will have a little session, say five minutes at the end of that section, to discuss those questions that you have, and then we would go on to the next section. The reason why is there are actually eleven sections, and if we plug away through them that means only about fifteen minutes per section for the time that we've got today. So what we want to do is present some things in ten to fifteen minutes, and then have five or so minutes after each section for you to ask questions.

Tomorrow's session will be quite a lot different. What I am hoping is that any of those of you who are young in the audience, and particularly tomorrow there will be more children coming along, and I want to involve the children a lot in the session tomorrow. Hopefully the session tomorrow will be quite interesting; what we want to do tomorrow is focus more on the personal issues that you're facing with your children. We will have both parents and children up the front to talk about some of their issues and we'll raise what the principles are, if you like, for those particular issues that you raise. That will be tomorrow's session.

I suppose we better get started.

1.1. Reminders about the human soul

Mary: Yes, and to start I think we're going to just go over a brief review of what is our soul, and what it's made up of.

Jesus: Yes, so can you remember what your soul is? So your soul is ... your emotions, passions, desires, memories, aspirations, somebody said ... 'perspirations' (Laughter)

Mary: Personality.

Jesus: Personality, anything else? Intentions ... and so forth. So that's your soul.

Attributes of the human soul

So when you have a child, you're inter-relating with the child soul to soul. That's the first thing to understand. Many of us try to interact with our children from our mind, to their mind but that is actually not the way they're used to interacting. Straight away, from the time they're conceived, they're interacting with you ‒ soul to soul. We both have a spirit body, we both have a material body, but if you use your mind, you are skipping over all this soul stuff. That's a very important thing to understand with regard to relating with your children.

The mind is an attribute of the spirit body

Mary: A second important point would be that when our children incarnate, that their soul is pristine. It doesn't have any injuries or damage as yet but from the moment of the incarnation, just after conception, then the child is like a sponge for everything around it and it is immediately feeling all of the emotions in its environment.

Jesus: So the key thing for you to bear in mind when we're talking about this discussion is, we're going to be trying to focus you back on to what your emotions are every time ‒ not on what you're thinking they are, but rather what they actually are. Because your children are the best reflectors back at you as to what your emotions actually are and that is one very, very important point that you'll be carrying away with you today.

1.2. Comments about parents' emotions regarding the subject

Jesus: One thing I'd like to mention though is that we'll make a lot of comments about parenting during the day and because many of you have been parents, many of you are going to start to feel quite judged, where you feel like, "Wow, I didn't know that, I didn't know that, I didn't know that," and after a while the amount of things that you don't know piles up and then you start getting down on yourself. What we'd like to try to do is encourage you not to do that ‒ not to get down on yourself. Just to have an open mind about it and also be open with your feelings. If you feel sad about something that you haven't done, that you realise now that you should have done, just let yourself have a cry about it, just let yourself connect with your emotions about it.

Mary: So you might actually be connecting with some Law of Compensation issues and rather than going straight into the judgement about, "Oh I did it wrong, I did it wrong" just allow yourself to actually feel those emotions relating to that.

Jesus: A lot of times what will happen too is that you have this feeling of anger maybe, towards us, saying, "How dare they say that? That can't be right," and those kinds of things. Remember every time you're in anger, it's because there is an emotion underneath the anger. Allow yourself to get into that emotion, rather than staying in the anger-based emotion; it's very important to allow yourself to step down.

Remember on the natural love path you may be very, very tempted to actually change your actions without changing your emotions. You might hear some of this material today, and then feel like you need to just change your actions and just start trying to change your actions. If you do it that way, I can guarantee you it will not work. The reason why is because every interaction you have with your child is soul to soul and the only way that things are really going to change in your interactions with your children is if something changes inside of your own soul. It is very important to understand that.

So let's get started then on this first section. Now the reason why I put numbers by them this time, is that tomorrow when we'll be going through these different things with your own personal experiences, we will often refer to the number or the point that isn't being followed in that transaction. So if you can remember to bring these notes in the seminar outline along with you tomorrow and when we are asking personal questions, when you're dealing with personal issues, we'll be able to actually refer to those points of what you're not keeping in mind, what you're not remembering of this feeling associated with this particular issue. These points are ways for us to actually help you recognise what's going on within yourself.

2. The pristine child of God

2.1. The child is God's child, not our child

Mary: The first section we wanted to talk about was the pristine Soul (child) of God. That is that our children are not really our children. They come from God and we're just really the guardians or caretakers until they're able to really exercise their own free will. So there's some ... go ahead (to AJ) ... I thought you were giving me the nod (laughing) ...

Jesus: No I'm just holding your hand. (Laughing) Sorry, I just like holding her hand.

Mary: I've still got my training wheels on ... (Laughing) I've lost my track.

Jesus: She's so influenced by me.

2.2. The child is pristine in its soul condition

Jesus: So if the child has a pristine soul condition when it incarnates, that means that it has no damage whatsoever at the moment of conception: so right at the moment of conception, every single child is pure in its emotional experience, is pure in its soul. Now it's very important to understand that because what I've heard many parents say is, "Ah, that child, from the moment it was born, was just hard work." Now the whole reason why that is the case is there's something other than the fact that the child has a problem, because the child, at the time of conception, did not have a problem.

That being the case, the only place that the child's problems can come from is its environment and the biggest influence in its environment is ‒ mum and dad. That's where we need to start looking if our child, from the time of birth, is having different issues, even if they are physical issues, like sicknesses and diseases, we need to look at our own emotions because there is something in it, emotionally, for us.

Now when I say something emotionally for us, a lot of times it won't be just for us. It might be grandparents that have passed down this emotion to the parents who then passed this emotion to the child. So bear in mind it's just something that we need to clear away from ourselves rather than looking at it from a point of view of judgment. I want to try to keep you away from judgment today, because many of you are going to be tempted to get into it.

Mary: The reality is that the majority of our soul damage that we carry around now came from our own childhood, as well. So, really, we are pivotal people in that we can start to clear away that soul damage so that our children can benefit from that and it's a multi-generational issue. It's quite an empowering place that we are in at the moment.

2.3. The child is a sponge for the emotions of its environment

Jesus: So let's get started with it. Here is our child's soul. When it first incarnates, you can think of it as a blank slate. Or, maybe a better illustration is to think of it as a sponge.

The soul of a incarnating child is pristine and like a sponge for emotions

So it's just this sponge in a pristine state, just like a sponge you'd go to the supermarket and get off the shelf. You know what they're like, totally clean, no mud in them or anything like that, just a sponge ready to be used, totally clean. That's what your child is at the time of conception. Now, from that moment on, just like a sponge, it soaks up everything from its environment. The child, remember, before it came, still has personality; God created each of us with individual personalities. But what's happening is we've got our environment feeding us ‒ particularly emotions.

Things are coming from outside of the child, entering the child through its emotional state basically and this is happening right at the moment of conception onwards, not from birth, from conception. Can you imagine for a moment if the mother, right at the moment of conception, a few days after conception she realises that she is pregnant, and it's her ninth child and she's had a terrible time with eight children before that, she feels. How much is she going to feel like she wants to have this child? Not very much and if she has a husband who is away all the time, working for the other eight children and himself, and not having much quality of life, she'll probably feel even less inclined to feel joyous about her pregnancy. Now straight away that emotion is being soaked up by the child, right in that condition.

The emotion that you feel even about your pregnancies gets soaked up ‒ and this applies to the male as well as the female ‒ let's say the woman gets pregnant in a relationship, and the man in the relationship has a really hard time with the fact that she's pregnant. Let's say that he feels like he doesn't want her to be pregnant, that he would prefer her to have an abortion than be pregnant. Now that emotion is coming from the man to the child, right from the moment that child is incarnated. Now you imagine just that one emotion, and what damage it's going to do for the rest of its life ‒ quite a lot because it felt not wanted from the moment it could feel.

The problem with accessing those emotions is it's pretty hard too for the child, because these emotions are emotions that it doesn't have an intellect about. It doesn't have a memory of an experience that caused it to feel the way it feels, it just, as a part of itself, it feels that way right from the time it was even born, and even before then. You can see that's a pretty damaging thing.

If you can think of these emotions that it's getting from the environment, this soul is a sponge to, and the emotions are getting passed into the soul. The personality of the soul will determine how the child responds to the emotion. Think of it as a pristine soul, just like a sponge soaking in everything from its environment.

2.4. The child cannot protect itself at the soul level

Jesus: (Looks to Mary) Did you want to say something?

Mary: Just probably the point that, maybe not as clear, that the soul doesn't have any defence at all from what's coming at it from all these different parties, and from the environment and the point of incarnation is for us to realise our own self, our own individualisation. So in a sense, the child is there, saying, "Who am I? What's going on?" and all of these emotions are the way that it starts to learn about itself and its own individual self. It doesn't really have a defence. In a way you're telling it everything about itself.

Jesus: Can you see why it doesn't have a defence? Because basically, everything that's going to come to it from its environment is going to come through you and the person that it has the least defence of is you, the parents. Now your defences of the environment do affect the child.

If you have different areas where you prevent the child from being harmed here, then that's going to be great for the child obviously but here, remember, we're talking about everything emotionally. Really part of the goal is to help the child, in terms of protection, to protect the child from emotional damage from its environment. The person they spend the most time with is us, the parents and so that's where they're going to get the majority of their emotional damage. So if I haven't worked on my emotions, cleared through my emotions as the parent, the child will get the emotional damage.

Tomorrow there will be a little session that myself and Tristan will do with that. Tristan is my son, and he'll be able to tell you a lot of the emotional damage that he felt from my treatment of him. That will help you see how the child is just absorbing all this stuff emotionally and it might not have been my intention, but that certainly is the feeling he'll be dealing with ‒ we'll talk about that tomorrow.

2.5. The child is just learning to use its own free will, and is becoming individualised

Jesus: Now the section 1.6 down on the list there on the seminar outline, you notice that it talks about the child learning to use its free will, and becoming individualised. The only way the child can gain an awareness of itself is for it to experience life. Now, how it experiences life is going to greatly determine what the child feels about itself. This is where we need to be very, very careful as parents and what we do with our children and I don't mean careful intellectually, I mean we need to feel care in our emotional state towards our child ‒ not an intellectual state.

So, with that section about the child being the pristine child of God: are there any question associated with that before we move on?

3. Audience questions

3.1. Sibling's emotions towards the child reflect the parents' emotions

Participant Female: How much would a sibling who doesn't want another one to take the parent's attention, how will that have an impact on the child?

Jesus: The reason why a sibling doesn't want another child to have attention is because the sibling itself is having an issue with the parents. So even those kinds of problems, where you've got children, siblings, treating each other badly, is actually because of the parent's emotions and we talk about some of those denied emotions that the parents will be experiencing to create that kind of event during the day.

3.2. The cause of Asperger's Syndrome and autism in children

Participant Female: I have a son who has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, so basically the damage that … I shouldn't say damage, the emotional problems that he has been having, was from conception when my husband and I conceived him, but they say it's genetic. But if my husband and I worked on our emotions, we could basically help him with his emotions and technically heal him of it.

Jesus: That's correct; what you've said is exactly correct. What happens with Asperger’s and autism type syndromes, the child is very sensitive at the soul level: so sensitive, in fact, that all it feels when it's incarnated is just a barrage of unhealed emotions from its environment. What happens is that it starts to not have a sense of self and the reason why it doesn't have a sense of self is because it's getting so many emotions from its environment that it can't determine who itself is and what is coming from the environment. So there is not a very clear delineation in the child itself as to who it is.

When the parents actually heal emotions, and the more emotions you heal as a parent, you will find actually the child will start feeling some of its own emotions and you will find that process will grow fairly rapidly, depending on how rapidly the parents deal with their emotions.

The reason why the problem is genetic is because our parents usually have the same emotions that we have in terms of shutting down our system. What is happening at the moment, there are a lot of souls ‒ if you could say children being born ‒ because they're being born into a more sensitive environment, they are becoming more sensitive to the suppression of emotion. And that's really what those kinds of problems, like autism and Asperger’s and so forth, are created from.

Yes, you can heal your child, quite rapidly actually and the earlier you do it, the better. So the earlier you work on your own emotions when you've got an autistic child, the better for the child.

3.3. The impact on a child being conceived through rape

Participant Female: How much impact does the way in which the child was conceived have on the child. So if the child was conceived, say out of rape or violence, will that have an impact upon the child?

Mary: It would just be impacted by the emotions of the people involved. So it's the same principle, but obviously in a situation like that, there's probably a lot of distress on the part of the mother, and probably a lot of quite dark emotions coming from the father, in the case with rape. So it would have an impact on that soul.

Jesus: So for the male who involves himself in rape, it's due to having a feeling of powerlessness with women and so he wants to exercise his power violently. There will be that kind of emotion projected at the child and the woman will have a lot of different emotions too, not just from the event, but prior to the event, that would attract the event anyway. Those particular emotions would also impact upon the child. Again, all of these can be quite easily healed if we own them all. We'll talk about the effect of denial versus feeling later.

3.4. It is damaging to suppress emotions

Jesus: A lot of people feel ‒ and it's just something we'd like to say right now ‒ that if you are feeling your emotions, that is when you are damaging someone else but the reality is, it's when you're not feeling your emotions, that is when you're actually being the most damaging.

For example, a woman who is pregnant from a rape, if she decides, "Well I can't cry because I have this child growing inside of me now," it's actually more damaging to her than if she actually lets go of her grief during her pregnancy. It's more damaging to the child as well as to herself. It's better for her if she lets go of the grief during her pregnancy rather than waiting until the child is born, or holding on to it for later.

3.5. The time in the womb is the most damaging for the child

Participant Male: Yes I've recently watched a DVD with a clip on there, an Italian clip, where they were standing up, the mother having a baby. And the mother and father were arguing and twice the male and the female raised their voice, and the baby actually jumped within the womb. You could actually see it kicking the top of the womb, it was so violent.

Jesus: The time in the womb is actually the most damaging time for a newly incarnated child. The reason why is because they are so sensitive to the emotions of both parents, and what's going on for both parents while in the womb. Also, the child can't personally develop a connection with God while in the womb unless the mother and father are developing a relationship with God. So there are other issues involved with that, which we will discuss later as well.

3.6. Children can receive God's Love in the womb

Jesus: You can actually assist your unborn child to develop a relationship with God while it's in your womb but of course, most people would never think of doing that. Even receiving Divine Love for the child, you can pray for the child to receive Divine Love while it is in the womb as long as it's in harmony with its own emotions, it will receive Divine Love. You can also deny it that as well, by the mother denying her connection with God, that also denies the child the connection with God while it is in the womb as well. There are a lot of things that need to be learned about the actual gestation period of pregnancy, regarding how it influences the person for the rest of their life.

4. The parents' responsibility towards the child

4.1. The parent is a surrogate parent for God

Mary: So the next section is about the parent's responsibility towards the child. Would you like to explain these, babe?

Jesus: Yes, the one that I always think of is the first one. My role as a parent is not to parent this child but to help the child see that God is the parent of the child and I'm just really the older brother of the child.

The way I see myself with Tristan or Caleb, my two sons at the moment, is I just view myself as their older brother, and only older from the sense that I've been around a bit longer, that's all. With regard to my daughter from the first century, it's the same feeling I have, that I am just her older brother. I'm not her father ‒ her Father is God. Bearing that in mind it means that I am really a surrogate, a proxy for God. In other words, the way the child is going to see me is very much going to be imposed upon the way the child sees God at some point.

So obviously, that tells me a lot about what I need to do in my relationships with my children once I did that.

4.2. Teaching love and truth

Mary: So the endeavour is to treat our children as God would, to allow them to experience life in the way that God would have us experience life and our responsibility is actually just to teach them about that, to enlighten them to the processes of the universe.

Jesus: Yes, so that comes down to what do we teach them: the first thing to teach them is the principles of love and truth. Particularly truth because remember, truth always sets you free. So if you can teach the principles of truth to the child, then the child will be set free, too.

Now, the way we do this is not intellectually again, it's emotionally. It's about being truthful emotionally, even with yourself. When you lie to yourself about your own emotions, what are you teaching your child? You're teaching the child to lie to themselves about their own emotions. It's quite simple. When you are not exactly as you feel, when you are displaying something outwardly that is not what you're feeling inside of yourself, you're actually teaching the child the opposite of what it needs to learn. It's very important.

Love and truth are two qualities we need to teach our children. Remember every single discussion we've had, generally when I refer to God there's love on one side and truth on the other and that's how we need to be with our children; exactly the same way as that, developing those qualities within ourselves.

4.3. Teaching free will

Mary: And possibly speaking to them and teaching them that they can pray for Divine Love and how they can develop their relationship with God.

Jesus: Also, another quality is free will. This soul has its own free will. Most parents have a lot of trouble when we start talking about this in a practical sense.

I was talking to someone a few weeks ago down at Port Macquarie. The lady was yelling at the child to not fall off the balcony, because it was on the second level apartment. They were just moving in and the child had climbed up on some boxes, staring over and peering over the guardrail of the balcony but she was yelling at the child right at the same time.

Firstly, that child has free will, it can do whatever it wants. Secondly, you yelling at it has just broken a Law of God. The projection of anger at the child has just broken a Law of God. There must be a better way to handle it than that and there is, of course, and we'll talk about it a bit later.

But can you see how we can quite easily influence the free will of our child straightaway, just because we're afraid of something happening. We often do that in our interaction with our children, and yet what are we meant to be teaching them? Free will. You're meant to be teaching them how to exercise their free will and then what do we do, we curb it rather than actually work with them. That's something later you'll see that's really important in this process.

4.4. Teaching God's Laws

Mary: So the next point is about teaching them God's Laws. So I think that's something that children naturally learn if they are allowed their free will, and are taught about love and truth, but I guess as parents there is something that can be done to assist them. To teach them about, or to perhaps encourage them to observe the Laws of God. And I mean like some of them that we know about ‒ the Law of Attraction, the Law of Compensation. And so we talk later on about if you start to take away the consequences of those laws in our children's lives it's actually quite damaging. What we need to be doing is teaching them about those laws, because they are the laws that are going on forever.

Jesus: So let's say they go and do something at school that's quite damaging to another child and then they get called in front of the teacher, and the teacher gives them a blast. Then they get called in front of the headmaster and he does a similar thing. Then there's a little note coming home and all those kinds of things happening as a result of them choosing, and we'll talk more later of why they would choose to do it.

But, if we then step in and get angry with the headmaster and angry with the teacher and so forth, we're not teaching them at all that there are results to actions. Can you see how if we don't, even if they just start understanding the Law of Attraction in their life, it's going to be very, very powerful?

Later you'll see what the emotion must be in the parent in that particular instance because everything that our child does is the result of an emotion in the parents generally, particularly when they are very young.

4.5. Protection of the child

Jesus: Can I just talk about the protection of the child? A lot of times we think we can physically protect our children. The truth is that the only way you can protect your child is by your soul protection that you afford the child. What I mean by that is you have certain Law of Attraction. Let's say that you have an emotion in you, of feeling unworthy, so that's an emotion inside of you. What would happen is that emotion will drive the Law of Attraction, where you will be treated unworthily by people outside of you, in order to trigger this emotion inside of you.

Now if you have that emotion inside of you, there's a high likelihood your child will have the same emotion inside of them, particularly if you had that emotion inside of you while they were in the womb, or whenever they were absorbing those emotions. Just the fact of you having the emotion has stopped them from being protected ‒ just you having the emotion. The instant you choose to not have the emotion, the instant you choose to actually feel it and release it and let it go, that's the instant they will no longer have that same Law of Attraction.

You can see how their lives will change greatly when you change your own emotion. That's one key thing to understand.

5. Audience questions

Jesus: In the section of the responsibility you have towards the child, are there any questions you'd like to ask about that? The kind of responsibility you have towards the children.

5.1. Children reflect parent's denied emotions

Participant Female: I'd like to just give an example of what's happened in my household this week. I live with my daughter and three grandchildren, so I am very aware of the three generations and what's going on emotionally. We had some problems with our landlord, which upset me a lot. I chose to work with my emotions writing things down. My daughter got angry to a certain degree, but stuffed a lot of her emotions down. The next morning she had a little altercation with her oldest, who is a seven year old, before he went to school, which wasn't really anything more than what would normally happen, "Why don't you have your shoes on yet?" but he started to cry and she said, "What are you crying about?" And I thought, "It's because you haven't dealt with the emotions from what happened yesterday. He's feeling them for you." And I wrote it all down and I want to share it with her, but I haven't had the chance yet. It needs to have the right time and space to do it. But it was just so blatantly obvious.

Jesus: You'll find that as you work through different things as parents, you'll find that you'll see a direct link. I have had times when I'm sitting down with a parent, which I will talk about later in more detail, where every single emotion the parent denied, that I could feel from the parent that the parent was denying, right at that instant, the child was acting out the emotion they were denying. The instant they actually even acknowledged intellectually that they had that emotion within them, the child straightaway stopped acting out the actual emotion. It is just so instant like that and it is very important to understand that when it comes to your relationship with your children.

5.2. Co-dependent links exist between children and their parents for unhealed emotions

Participant Female: If I'm committed to change, but my ex-husband has not ever heard of even Natural Love or Divine Love or even heard the teachings, does that then limit how much progress my children can make? What I am asking is, I'm committed and want change in order to help my children, in order to help myself, but what happens about the parent who doesn't find the Way or this degree of separation?

Jesus: Well, yes, it does make it more difficult for the child if one parent does not want to deal with their emotions. However, it is not impossible, because when you think about it for most of you here, your parents don't want to deal with their emotions, and yet you're here dealing with yours. It is still possible to deal with your emotions, but it does make it more difficult, and the reason why is there is an emotional link between the parent and the child with every unhealed emotion. and that link would have to be broken. It is much better if the link can be broken by the parent, by the parent experiencing their own emotion, rather than forcing the child to break that link. That puts a lot of pressure on the child.

Participant Male: AJ, just as an experience I had. When I left my marriage and my eldest son, who is twenty now, actually he'd already left home to work … but my relationship with him was really bad. But since I have been dealing with my emotion, my ex-wife hasn’t, and she doesn’t want to get involved. I'm dealing with my emotions and now I've got a relationship with my son, we're almost friends, and it really does make a lot of difference.

Jesus: Exactly, this will happen with adult children as well as with young children. All of these principles are the same. Obviously with an adult child there is more self-responsibility than there is with a young child. Mostly a young child's emotions are a reflection of your own.

Participant Female: Can you elaborate what you mean by the child breaking the link with the parent?

Jesus: Every single unhealed emotion that has entered the child from the parent creates a co-dependent link between the parent and the child. There is a co-dependent link between the parent and the child for every unhealed emotion in the parent. The child will respond in a co-dependent way to the parent's unhealed emotion.

What that means then is if the parent gets rid of the co-dependence themselves then the link between them and the child in that particular co-dependence is broken straightaway but if the parent doesn't do it, then it is up to the child to break that link if they want to have a free life and that becomes quite difficult and usually with a lot of opposition from their parents.

The key is, as parents, if we're talking about parenting children, we want to actually be the ones who take all the steps to get rid of these emotions within us that create co-dependence to us by our children. Can you see there is a link?

5.2.1. An example of believing that love is service

Mary: Sorry AJ, maybe if we could give an example of what a co-dependent emotion might be, so, the definition of love, or ...

Jesus: So here's the parent; here's the child. Let's say this parent believes that love is service; because that belief then enters the child, the child now believes that love is service ‒ and when I say service I mean doing everything for everyone else, and nothing for myself.

Let's say what's happening is the parent lives a life where they do everything for everyone else, all the time, and they do very, very little for themselves. The child now has that same belief in them, that love is service but it will often feel very, very hard on the child. The child will often feel anger about that, because it doesn't feel like a belief that suits them but they feel impelled to have it because of the parent's emotion. The parent's emotion is impressed upon the child; there is a link now between the two of them. This child is now going to feel that it needs to serve its parent in order to love it.

Participant Female: To receive love?

Jesus: To receive love, yes, it has to first serve. It has to first serve the parent in order to be loved by the parent. Now that's a co-dependent link.

A belief that love is service in the parent enters the child and creates a co-dependence between the parent and child

Now it's great if the parent can break that. If the parent can actually let go of the emotion where they believe that love is that, what will happen is the child will automatically feel free to just give the parent things based on what it wants to give the parent, rather than feeling that it has to but if the parent doesn't do that, then the only way the child is going to deal with this emotionally is to stop serving the parent.

Now you imagine if the parent is used to being served by the child, and all of a sudden the child stops serving the parent, what does the parent go through? "You don't love me anymore. What's happened to my children?" You get a lot of projections usually coming from the parent back to the child, so that the child starts serving them again.

Can you see how the parent's emotions are determining the linkages? This co-dependent link gets set up and if that co-dependent link remains, the child is going to be affected the rest of its life with that link, no matter how old it is. It's going to be fifty and you might be seventy, and it still will feel that it has to serve you, because that's what love is. The truth is that's not what love is. Love wouldn't project that at the child, but often we have these emotions unhealed within us as parents that make us believe it is that which then causes the child to believe it.

5.2.2. Estranged parents and children

Participant Female: There are some children and parents that don't have anything to do with each other like no interactions ‒ does that …

Jesus: If the child and the parent don't have interactions with each other, there are still linkages between the child and the parent. The reason why is the child is now feeling emotions of loss about the parent not being with them and so there are emotions still that are being built up in the child through that.

Now the parent who is with the child can help him deal with a lot of that emotionally, and actually release it for good but remember your soul transmits emotion wherever it is in the world. You might have a child right now with you, and the parent, the ex-partner might be on the other side of the Earth, but it still has an emotional linkage with the child. The child is still feeling it, to a lesser degree than the one that is right near it, obviously and if you have a partner who is treating the child lovingly, obviously it will be even to a lesser degree.

There is still a feeling that is going to be coming from the other person, until the child breaks that link now. It's highly unlikely the ex-parent, the ex-parent as I like to call them, because they're not acting like a parent, is going to break that linkage. Unfortunately they're forcing the child to break that linkage and this is where the parent with them can help with break it, to actually work through the issue emotionally. We'll talk about some of that later.

5.3. The role of stepparents

Jesus: Anyone else have a question?

Participant Female: My question is about stepparents, what role they play and how much influence they have.

Jesus: The stepparent, obviously, wasn't involved in the creation process, if you like, of the child. Therefore the stepparent doesn't have as much influence usually during the gestation period or the pregnancy of the child. The stepparent usually comes along later in life, like when the child is two, three or four, or even older. Now that parent obviously still has a role because they are in a relationship with their mother or father ‒ the child's mother or father, their actual parent. That being borne in mind, they obviously have compatible emotions, which means they probably have compatible emotional injuries. Now because of that, there is going to be, definitely, an effect that the stepparent has on the child emotionally but again, if the stepparent takes the same view ‒ I will deal with my emotions, I'll own my emotions ‒ then obviously that affects the child very positively.

So it just depends on whether the stepparent is going to deal with their own emotions or not in the end.

6. The parents' responsibility towards themselves

Jesus: Let's proceed to the next one ‒ the parents' responsibility towards themselves.

Mary: Which is actually a vital point. Since we know now that all of the interactions we're going to have as parents, to children, are on a soul-to-soul level, they're emotional. If parents aren't observing their own responsibility to themselves, and their relationship with God and their emotions, then essentially they're teaching their child just through their emotions.

6.1. The parent has free will

Jesus: If you don't understand your own free will, for example, then how is your child going to understand what free will is? Also, you need to remember in each interaction, that you do have free will. The parent has to learn to understand this because quite often I see, when we start talking about this stuff with children, I've had some children in their teenage years say, "Well mum and dad, you've caused all of our problems. We've got all these emotional injuries because of you. Now you've got to buy me an ice cream." Like they're using this as bribery.

I've seen some of those children actually go down the aisle buying all these things in the supermarket, and throwing it in the trolley, expecting the mother to pay for it. Now, the mother has free will too, and she can actually take the items, out of the trolley, at the front desk and say, "I'm not paying for those, my daughter is. Oh, you don't have any money? Oh, okay, it's looks like we're not buying that" because the mother has free will as well.

See often what happens is anger projected at a child for doing something comes from the parent feeling like they can't exercise their own free will in the situation. As parents it is very important to understand that you can exercise your free will. It is not loving to do it angrily; but it is loving to do it.

6.1.1. An example of tidying up after messy children

Jesus: Another example I'll give you is, I knew a family, who the boys just left their clothes strewn all over the house and the mother was constantly having arguments with them, "Put away your clothes. Put away your clothes. I'm not washing your clothes." She'd get quite angry with them. Then, because she's sick and tired of her house being dirty, she would go around in a whirlwind, pick up all their clothes and dump it on their floor. That didn't fix anything either, because next week they still strewed around all their clothes again, and it just kept on happening and happening. She just kept on getting more and more angry but she has free will. See she didn't think she had free will in that situation.

What she could actually do ‒ and these were adult boys ‒ is gather all the clothes and just take it down to the second-hand store and give them to the second-hand store. And just say to them, "Can you keep them for a week? Can you put a price on all of them and keep them there for a week? I'll tell my boys where to find them and what their prices are, and you'll have the prices on them." Just leave them there like that and when the boys say, "Where are my clothes, mum?" "Well they're not here anymore." "Where have they gone?" "Well you didn't put them away, so I took them down to the second-hand store. You mustn't want them anymore." And just allow the child now to work through the issue. You don't have to be angry about it. Do you?

Mary: In fact if you're angry about it, you're not being loving about it anyway. But going around the house picking things up in a martyrdom sort of way is not really loving either.

Jesus: The key thing is, every one of these things would be just to teach them the truth about it. In that case, we would want to teach the child self-responsibility, which we will look at a bit later in our session but that is one way we could do it. But as soon as we do it with anger, or rage or any of those feelings, straightaway we're out of harmony anyway with love. So we'd need to address that emotion within us first, before we did it but we can easily do it.

The lady actually said in this discussion that I had with her, "Would you tell them first that you're going to do that?" And I said no, and the reason why is because, usually as parents, we've already told them, "Can you please pick up the stuff?" a hundred times before ‒ usually that's the case, isn't it? And the reason why they’re not acting is because they don't think we will act. In other words, they're not respecting our free will to act and I'm allowed to act as a parent independent of what my child wants, if it's in harmony with love and in that situation, it would be. There are plenty of things we can do to use our free will.

Now, as it turned out in our discussion, that person I was discussing that principle with, said, "I could never do that, that's really cruel." What was influencing her free will was this belief that she would be a bad mother if she did that and she didn't want to deal with that emotion. She would rather pick up after her children, her male children, every single time rather than deal with that emotion that she's a bad mum.

The truth is that she was teaching her children a very important principle, and that is I can use my mum whenever I want to do whatever I want. Not only that, she was teaching them, because they were boys, that they can treat women this way. There are some really, really large principles that she was teaching them but she thought it would be cruel to do anything different because of the avoidance of her own emotions. Can you see how free will, the parent's free will, is very important?

6.2. The parent cannot love the child by sacrificing his or herself

Mary: So the parent cannot love the child if they're actually sacrificing themselves ‒ a fairly important thing.

Jesus: How many times has that happened?

6.2.1. An example of cooking meals for the family

Jesus: The mother, for example, cooks a meal for her children, but she doesn't want to. How many times do you do that, mums? Cook a meal for your children but you don't actually want to cook the meal. Can you see that just that act is not loving? It would be more loving to not cook the meal because actually what you're doing when you're cooking a meal when you don't feel like cooking the meal is you're actually entering a lie state within yourself.

The more loving thing would be to work out why you're don't want to cook the meal, and let yourself feel about that. It might be that you've done twenty thousand of them before, and you would like one cooked for you. There are some pretty big emotions associated with that. Can you feel that? But don't sacrifice yourself for the sake of your child.

Now we're talking about sacrificing in lots of different areas here, not just in these simple areas that I've just mentioned. We'll get into the nitty gritty of that a bit later as well.

Mary: The point is, I think, that we've all got ourselves into this whole big cycle of obligation, where as a mother I should do this, or as a father, and actually the actions that are involved, like cooking the meal, can come from a loving place, but when we're actually feeling the obligation, we're not in a loving place. It would be far better to not actually take the action and feel the emotion, so that one day we'll get to the loving place. But while we stay in obligation, we're not helping anyone.

Jesus: So we'll do questions about this in a bit, at the end of the section.

6.3. The parent cannot sacrifice their relationship with God for the child

Jesus: The other one I've gotten is notice 3.3 in the seminar outline ‒ the parent cannot sacrifice their relationship with God for the child. Now often your children will want you to lie for them. Often your children will want you to do things for them, which would actually be breaking one of God's Laws. Now if you decide you're going to do that, then you are actually sacrificing your relationship with God, which remember I've been saying that should be the primary relationship in the Universe, and you're sacrificing that relationship for the relationship with your child.

Mary: And why might we be doing it?

Jesus: Well there might be quite a lot of emotions involved with that. For example, I may have a distant emotion that I don't want to feel, which is like "I want to have the approval of my child." And so I'll do anything for my child, including breaking God's Laws for my child. That's just one example.

Mary: Or fear of what would happen if I don't do this for my child.

Jesus: For example, your child may not want to go to school and so you may decide in harmony with the Laws of Free Will, that you're not going to send your child to school anymore. Which means you're probably going to get a letter from the school saying that you're being a bad mother or a bad father or whatever, this is illegal and all those kinds of things and then you may decide, well, I'll try to force the child to go to school. Rather than forcing them physically, you may decide to do it with a reward based system. If they go to school, you'll do this for them, or if you go to school you'll do that for them. Now what you're doing is breaking the Law of God then, because you're actually prostituting yourself in order to get somebody else to do something and it's very dangerous and damaging to the child.

It's much better if they don't go to school and you face up to the issues about that. Honestly, if everybody did that, you know we'd have a far different education system than we've got today. Of course very few people want to because we created this organisation, called the education system, which we then think has a mind of its own. Then we start doing everything for them but a lot of the times they're not harmonious with Divine Love in the way that they're operating.

I'm not saying don't send your child to school, what I'm saying is ask yourself why they don't want to go. Let yourself feel the emotion inside of that, because there's something inside of you is the reason why they don't want to go. It's very important to understand that.

6.4. Mirror God’s treatment of ourselves when caring for the child

Jesus: When you want something, does God just say, "No worries, here it is ‒ bang"?

Audience: No.

Jesus: Well actually God does do that, (Laughter) but most of you don't feel that, why don't you feel that? Because there are emotions that prevent you from truly asking, for a start but God actually gives everything based on desire and it has to be pure desire.

Now, often what happens with us is that we don't have pure desires, so therefore when we ask for something, we don't actually get it exactly as we wanted it. When you are in a state when you're at-one with God, you will find that you'll actually ask for something and because you're in at-onement with God, you'll automatically be asking for something harmonious with love and because of that, you'll automatically get it straightaway, exactly as you wanted it.

6.4.1. An example of teaching children about the Law of Desire and Law of Attraction

Jesus: Now we need to teach our child that same principle. How do we go about teaching our child that same principle? Let's say a child wants a dog. A lot of people say, you hear them say, "I bought my child a dog, they really wanted a dog, but they don't look after the dog. I have to look after it." Did the child really want the dog? No. What do we do as parents? We need to allow them to build their desire, to really build their desire. One way we could do that is, remember, we're not their parent either, God is. What we could do is start doing what we do with God when it comes to exercising our desires. Build our desire, talk to God about what we want, what we feel we need in our lives, and exercise a desire for it.

That's how we get it. So let's do that, let's encourage our child to do that. Let's say a child wants a dog. Sit down with the child, and show it how to pray for a dog. What else does a child need to do? Learn how to care for the dog. What you do is sit down with the child and show it how to find out how to care for a dog. Then ask the child questions like, "Do you want to do that? Do you want to care for the dog? Remember it's every day. Walking it every day, feeding them every day. Dogs can maybe live for fifteen years, twenty years. Do you want to do that for the next fifteen to twenty years? Is that really what you want?" “Yeah.” So let them develop that desire.

When they have a really complete desire, then, in fact, it's very powerful if then you actually allow the Law of Attraction to bring them their dog. In other words, you don't even buy it. You actually allow the Law of Attraction to bring them their dog. Now that will teach them so many things. It will teach them, firstly, that they have complete control over what they get through their desire. Secondly, it will teach them that you don't have to supply any of their needs, that God is already doing all of that, even the things they want. There are a lot of things that that would teach them if you allow them to work through the issue that way.

If you just go out and buy the dog, the instant they have a feeling for one, without them building a desire, a sincere desire for it, what's going to happen? They'll learn that they can just get whatever they want, whenever they want it. And how many of you then later have regretted that? As parents, I know I have. Often we teach them the wrong thing when it comes to desire as well. So, mirror God's treatment of you; God treats you a certain way, you treat your children in the same way. You want to teach them how to interact with God.

6.4.2. An example of teaching children about the Law of Compensation

Mary: How might you teach them about the Law of Compensation?

Jesus: A Law of Compensation issue, for example, might be like we have dealt with an emotion that causes us to be violent towards somebody. So we have dealt with the emotion, as the parent. We've released all of those emotions, and we've talked to our child and the child understands the principles of violence, and all those kinds of things inside the child but the child goes to school and gets bullied by someone, and instead of just dealing with it through their emotions, they decide to snot him in the nose ‒ so they punch the guy in the nose. Then they come home with a note from maybe the school, giving him a three day suspension or something like that about the whole issue, and they're quite upset.

Now, as a parent, we need to actually allow them to work through the Law of Compensation on the issue. They've actually done something disharmonious with love, there is going to be an effect from that. Now, if you take away that effect as a parent, without them being repentant for what they've done, what you're going to do is enable them to do it again.

This applies to so many things in your relationship with your children. If you actually help them get away with an event they've created, you are actually helping them do it again, and you're helping them to worsen their own soul condition. God wouldn't do that; God doesn't do that with you. If you do that with your child, you're actually breaking a Law of Love of God in that transaction.

7. Audience questions

Jesus: Okay, so questions about this section?

7.1. An example of cooking meals for the family (continued)

Participant Male: Just a little question really. When you gave the example of not wanting to cook, it would also affect that food itself, it wouldn't taste as good, it wouldn't be as nourishing.

Jesus: Yes, how many of you have seen the water stuff, with what's the fellow's name, Emoto? You've seen that, how just the projection of love changes a substance? Well that happens with food as well, obviously. Food is 90% plus water, particularly if it's fruit and vegetables, so naturally the same projections affect the food. Even you having these projections like anger while you're cooking are going to affect the food you're actually giving everyone to eat. Just basic things like that are quite obvious when you think about it.

7.2. Standing firm with children

Participant Female: I've got a lot of habits from my parents, so I tried to make my kid perfect and gave them a lot of rules and regulations. They're now thirty-three and thirty-one. But probably ten years ago, we were talking about my parenting and one of the things they said to me was, "Mum we knew how to get around you because if we pushed hard enough, we knew we could get those boundaries pulled down. The one thing you didn't do was you didn't stick to what you said you were going to do." And they read me like a book, which made it even harder.

Jesus: Yes the big issue of having your "Yes" mean "Yes" and your "No", "No". Now most of us don't do that because of emotional reasons within ourselves. Making threats as parents is a very damaging thing to do for a start, usually based on some very unhealed emotions within ourselves but making a threat and not carrying it through is even more damaging because it teaches them that you don't mean anything that you say. This is why the majority of parents find it very difficult talking to their children because most of the time the children already know that you don't mean anything you're saying. They know they can get away with it anyway.

7.2.1. An example of tidying up after messy children (continued)

Jesus: How many of you have asked your children to pick up after themselves in the house? How many of you have children that do that every single time without being asked again? Not many people. Okay, a few. Can you see there must be a reason why, and do you know what the reason why is? They think you're not serious. It's quite simple. The deeper reason why is that they don't have enough self-love from you ‒ because if you love yourself, you’ll always care for your environment. The deeper reason inside of them is they don't have enough self-love to actually care for their environment. Where do you think they got their lack of self-love from? Me.

There's something that that is telling me straightaway. "I haven't given my child enough self-love for them to actually tidy up their environment.” And you see this happen a lot, when a child is militantly brought up to care for its environment, so its room is pristine, they're given a clip over the ear when it's not pristine, and they've learned the pain associated with it not being pristine, so they keep it pristine.

The instant they leave home, and they get their own flat, how tidy is their place? It's usually a total mess and a total pigsty and the reason why is because they haven't learned the reason why, in their heart ‒ the emotional reason why keeping your environment is good, keeping your environment clean is good. They haven't learned the emotional reason that actually there is a connection with God that grows due to cleanliness.

God always has things that clean up environments. God doesn't create anything but pristine environments and if we want to be at-one with God then we are going to have to learn to do the same at some point. Now, they haven't learned that, obviously, so who taught them that? Me. I taught them that. Can you see how every single thing that we're teaching our child is just a message about God, and also their relationship with themselves.

7.3. Teaching children about God in a resistant household

Participant Female: One of the biggest hurdles I'm finding at the moment is because I had a problem with the word God, I don't now, but a lot of people around the world have a problem with the word God, and just bringing it up inside a family that hasn't been brought up to go to church all the time is a big issue in itself. So for me to go home and say to my kids, "Now, I'm going to talk about God a lot," they're going to run. So how do you get around that?

Jesus: Well, again, there's an emotion in them that is a reflection of your own emotion. Firstly, if you're worried about speaking about God, there's still an emotion within you that's unhealed about God, otherwise you wouldn't be worried about it. Secondly there is a Law of Compensation issue involved there. You're now going through the pain you created in your own environment actually, that when you were against the idea of God, now you're for the idea or concept of God, but you have taught your children to be against the idea of God. There's a Law of Compensation effect on that. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Allow yourself to feel the fact that yes I have created this and allow yourself to feel and release that emotion. When you do, your children will have a lot less resistance to the concept of God. As soon as you release the emotion of the Law of Compensation ‒ which is that I taught them to distance themselves from God.

Participant Female: Will that also help with the social environment around them, in terms of socially out there, there are a lot of people who don't like people from the religious aspect.

Jesus: Certainly. So the question is, will that help her from a social aspect, because there are many people who don't like the religious aspect of God? Certainly. If they have a concept of God now, in their heart, that's non-religious, that's just Father to child concept of God, which is all that we're teaching here, Father to child, Mother to child, concept of God; if they have that concept within them, they won't attract religious zealots or people who are anti those kinds of teachings, if they have that concept. It's only when they have concepts that are disharmonious with that concept, in other words disharmonious with love, that they'll start attracting people.

If they have an emotion within themselves that they can't speak of God because they're afraid of people, then certainly they're going to attract people attacking them, and until they deal with that emotion, because they're afraid of speaking about God. But you can help them through all of that. It's just an illustration of the Law of Attraction.

Allow again, yourself to firstly display that attitude in the family, and feel it inside of yourself, and feel the moments when you're not actually allowing yourself to connect to God because you're worried about what your children are going to think. When you do that, their whole attitude will change, because it's all your Law of Attraction.

7.4. An example of a participant's son who has left the seminar

Participant Female: This is a bit off topic, but talking about my oldest son just snuck out and has gone down to the park. What should we do about that?

Jesus: Nothing. (Laughter) Our eldest son has snuck out and gone down to the park. He doesn't want to listen to this discussion because it's boring. The reason why it's boring is there's no action and the reason why there's no action is because like I'm not too entertaining. The issue really is to do with what's going on for yourself? How do you feel about him going?

Participant Female: I'm concerned that someone might grab him and take him away.

Jesus: Okay, so you're worried that somebody might grab him and take him away. That's what you need to feel. When you feel that emotion you might find that it might attract him back into the audience. Allow yourself to feel that. We'll talk more about that as it goes. Now, can you see him? You can't, and that's one of the reasons why you're feeling that emotion and that's a fairly big emotion for many parents, isn't it? How many of you are really, really concerned for the safety and welfare of your child? Quite a few, so a big emotion. You need to allow yourself to feel that, because if you don't feel that sooner or later, you are going to create quite an intense event where that may occur, so you need to allow yourself to feel it now. If you feel that, release it, cry about it, release it.

Your children are safe, remember, because of your soul condition. If you know that your soul condition isn't good enough to save them, then start praying to God about that. Talk to God about giving our child extra protection while I'm dealing with this emotion. There are many times when we can't clear the emotion immediately as a parent, but we can deal with a lot of the emotion but we can also pray for God's protection of the child while we're dealing with the emotion. God actually assigns Celestial spirits to do that when we pray for that to occur.

Participant Female: As a parent, I could work my free will and I could just go and stand over there, so that I knew that I could see him without actually interrupting with what he wanted to do. I'm still breaking my emotional ...

Jesus: What you're doing, you're avoiding your own emotion about it by actually going and making sure that they're safe. You're actually now, at that point, avoiding your own emotion and, in fact, what you're doing is not dealing with the causal emotion, which is why he's out there triggering you in the first place. So deal with the emotion, really focus on dealing with the emotion in every single interaction with your children because that changes it straightaway.

Later on I'll be giving you lots of examples where I've done this with parents while I've been in the car with them, and all sorts of things, and you'll see how it works. The key is to trust that and you can pray for the protection of the child while you're dealing with this emotion. You can long to God to protect the child, I need to just deal with this emotion and go into the emotion.

7.5. Being consistent with emotions, actions and words

7.5.1. An example of buying a dog for a child

Participant Female: I have a question about kindness and nurture and encouragement. I've tended to be an over-nurturer in my relationship with both of my boys. What comes to mind as an example, of bringing a dog into the house and Nicholas, my youngest son, at the time he didn't have, I thought, the capacity to understand what it would be like to look after a little dog. So we openly talked about it as you recommended, and he didn't know, he didn't have the experience to answer as to whether he wanted a dog or not. And love was a big issue now in our household, with the three of us. So we got the little dog. My intention and hope was that he would grow in desire for the little dog, and learn to love from it. And that in fact is what happened. But, in the beginning I really looked after the little dog until Nicholas grew in his capacity to be able to take charge. My question is really about kindness, and does talking really help? Isn't it a matter of raising them in experience, providing opportunities for experience?

Jesus: True but let's look at talking, "Does talking really help?" Talking helps as long as your emotion is in harmony with what you're saying. Talking doesn't help if your emotion is completely different from what you're saying. Can you see the relationship? If your emotion is in harmony with your speech, and your emotion is in harmony with your action, then talking and acting is perfectly fine. It's when your emotion is not in harmony with your speech or your action that talking is pointless.

For example, with getting the dog, if I have the desire in myself to get a dog, then own up to that and just get a dog for yourself, which is really what you finished up doing, to be truthful. Now, he certainly learned something from that interaction, by you demonstrating love to the dog and so forth and him spending time with the dog.

Participant Female: But he did learn from having the dog.

Jesus: That’s fine, but initially you got the dog for yourself really.

Participant Female: I really wanted to create an atmosphere of love by doing that.

Jesus: But the thing you’re not owning up to is, it's for yourself. You want to feel, right now, that it was for your child, but it wasn't yet for your child, it was for yourself. Now it was for yourself because you felt that your child needed to learn something about love, and there were feelings in you right at that moment about "How do I teach them about love?" because you didn't feel experienced enough within yourself to teach them about love. And that was the emotion driving the dog coming into the family.

Now it's not harmful, but just say it was for you, and just own up to that and then go deeper into an emotion. Obviously you did interact with the dog in a loving way, which helped your son also interact with the dog in loving way and it certainly did teach your son some things.

There's no harm in that, but we need to also make sure that we're owning up to what we actually did it for, because often as adults, we finish up saying to our children "I did this for you, don't you understand?" Does the child feel like you did it for them? Then they don't understand. Because if they don't feel the same as you do about the issue, then obviously, they feel completely different. They're not going to understand that you've done it for them, and in fact if you feel that way, you haven't done it for them.

If you feel that way, "I did this for my child," and you actually haven't done it for your child, you've done it for yourself, there's an emotion in yourself that you're actually salving or calming down. Because when you do it in love, you will not keep account of it. You will not say, "I did this for you so you'll do this for me," or you won't say any of those kinds of words anymore because you won't feel them anymore.

Look at what's going on inside of yourselves as parents.

7.6. An example of a parent who is worried about other's opinions of her as a mother

Participant Female: I've had lots of times when my kids were little, when I felt very comfortable with then being a distance away from me. But I've had a lot of times when other adults have been really angry with me doing that, and that's made me feel terrible. So I don't know what the issue is.

Jesus: Well the issue is what you will do to please others, so that's the issue that's been raised, or triggered in you. You're right in being comfortable with your children being with other people. In the end, of course, you want to maximise their free will; you want to help them do whatever they want to do.

Participant Female: Just like them being a long way from me then in a shopping centre.

Jesus: Yes. There's nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that at all, except the projection from another adult to you, as being a bad mum, and that's what you respond to. It's an emotion in yourself and in fact they will trigger that emotion just by their action.

Participant Female: So my emotion is that I'm a bad mum?

Jesus: The emotion is about other people thinking you're a bad mum, not about you actually feeling you're a bad mum. It's that you're worried about what other people think of you with regard to how you treat your children.

Mary: Parents of the parents often have a lot of projections, don't they? Grandparents often have a lot of projections onto the parents about the way they should be parenting.

Jesus: How many of you have had that happen?

Mary: That often relates back to the actual parent-child relationship that existed when the parent was a child.

Jesus: That's correct. So if your parent is telling you how to parent your own children, and you're upset about that in some way, there is still something going on between you and your parent, in terms of an unhealed emotion. That's why that has been attracted.

8. The damage of the parents' denial of personal emotions to the child

Jesus: The next section is a really important section. You want to start mentioning some of it, Mary, while I get something to drink?

Mary: Sure. So it's section four and it's "The damage of the parents' denial of personal emotions to the child" and this a favourite subject of AJ's. Having travelled with him and children, I have witnessed a lot of this kind of stuff first hand, where really, when a parent suppresses their emotion, that the child immediately starts to reflect it. So I think perhaps it gets more subtle as the child gets older, but certainly when the child is very small, it's quite evident.

8.1. Every single emotion denied by the parent will be felt and experienced in full by the child

Jesus: So, let's look at that. Every single emotion denied by the parent will be felt and experienced in full by the child. Now, you think of the number of emotions that you're denying, right at the moment. For many of us it’s like fifty of them, right at one moment and every single one of those emotions your child is experiencing in full, right at that moment. That's a scary proposition when you think about it, what's actually passing through the child.

Now the reason why this is: you can think of your emotions as "energy in motion" in your soul. Emotions, "E is for energy, in motion." Energy in motions is your emotions.

Emotions are energy in motion within our soul

Now when you stop the energy from being in motion, in other words, you prevent the e-motion, what's happening at that point, instead of the emotion passing through you, which is where it has to pass for you to own it, it gets reflected out like a great big antenna to the universe.

Let's say I have some anger in me, and I don’t allow myself to feel my anger, I suppress my anger by telling myself that I'm not really angry ‒ let's say I'm doing that. Right at that moment that anger is being reflected to the Universe to the biggest possible extent that it could be coming from us, because I'm not actually owning it and feeling it myself. That means that every single person around us will feel that anger.

8.1.1. An example of a mother who is angry with men

Jesus: Now let's say for a moment that I am a mother, so this soul is a mother soul, and my child happens to be a son, and this anger that I have is with men. What do you think my son is going to be feeling? He's going to be feeling constantly that his mother is always angry with him until mum owns that emotion, until she actually feels that emotion pass through her, and actually owns it. The son, and of course every other male in the Universe, but the son is the most sensitive ‒ he's the most sensitive soul, he's just a little soul ‒ so he's going to be the most sensitive male towards this anger getting passed around. Can you see what's going on there? That is the result of the parents’ denial of this emotion that needs to flow through her. It is now projected out to the Universe, and the most sensitive soul in her nearest vicinity is going to be her son, if she has one.

Emotions that are not owned by the mother, such as anger with men, are projected out of her soul and felt by her son (right)

The son is going to experience this anger; he's going to feel it. Now, he might be just born, he might be not even able to verbalise the fact, not even know what's really going on, he's just going to feel mum's anger with men. So can you see why he might be crying the moment he's born, screaming his head off in fact? Can you see it straightaway? There are these emotions in him that he's trying to let go of, acting out, he's just afraid in many cases.

Now what he'll probably try to do then, during his life, is he'll learn that actually, if I give my mum all of my attention and time, she feels less anger with me. What's now happening is they've set up this co-dependency between the mother and the child. She's angry with men, and he's realised that the only way for him to lessen her anger with men is for him, because he is a male child, is to give her something that calms her down, that makes her feel less angry with men. So, this child will most likely grow up being a very, very conciliatory male toward women, and he'll let women just run over the top of him. Imagine throughout his relationships, what will happen then, one after the other he'll just let women dominate him and all they'll need to do is project a little bit of that anger at him and he's straight into that mode, of calming everything down, making everything nice. Can you see that? Just that one emotion projected at the son.

The son learns to please his mother to lessen her anger towards men

Now, if the mum lets this emotion pass through her, she will find underneath the anger with men there's a lot of sadness with men. She will have herself some good cries and let that emotion pass through. When that happens, there's none of this emotion getting projected at her son. In fact, there will be another emotion of "I love men" getting passed to her son.

If the mother feels her anger and sadness, there is no longer anger projected towards her son and other males, but instead a feeling that she loves men

Now what do you think the son is going to feel? He's going to feel loved no matter where he is; he's going to feel loved by women wherever he is and wherever he goes. That's going to be pretty powerful, don't you think, in terms of his relationships with other people? If it's a real love and not a love based on need. Can you see what just owning an emotion does? Can you see what denying an emotion does?

Now the biggest issue is denial of emotion in your life, that's the biggest thing that affects your children.

8.2. When the parent shuts down the child’s experience of any emotion, this is very damaging

Mary: The next biggest thing is when you deny them the experience of that emotion, so they immediately feel it when you're not expressing it, and then, often they want to act that out, and often parents say, "Stop being loud. Stop being naughty." And they shut down all that emotion that they're just trying to express that they're picking up from their environment.

8.2.1. An example of a mother who is angry with men (continued)

Jesus: To give you an example of that, let's say the mum is angry with men, and she doesn't want to give love to men: in other words, if you're angry with someone, it's very hard to want to love them, isn't it? So, she doesn't want to love men, so no love goes towards them, she doesn't want to love a man. So, even though she's caring for her newborn baby, who's a male baby, the feeling coming from the mother to the child is, "I don't really love you." That's the feeling that the child is feeling, just based on the feelings she is feeling.

Now, she can deal with that feeling and it will be a totally different situation. But until she deals with this feeling, this child is going to do one of two things based on its personality. One thing is it will feel unloved and so it may actually then react in anger to the mother, getting angry with mum because she doesn't love me. He doesn't know why, it feels unjust, he's not loved, and he doesn't understand the causes.

Now, the other thing he might do is to try now to earn her love. So he does things for mummy. He's not feeling love from mummy so he goes up and gives mummy a hug all the time.

8.2.2. An example of the parent feeling unloved

Jesus: A lot of times, as parents, we say, "Oh that's lovely, my child always comes up and gives me a hug all the time. Every day that happens. They love me so much. Isn't it wonderful." In reality, the child is actually feeling quite insecure, and feels like mummy feels unloved and I've got to love her because most of the time, the child is not allowed to be experiencing its own emotion and is actually feeling your emotion and is responding to your emotion.

You can test it easily. All you need to do, at that moment that you feel these things happening, is to put it in to test and do something like ask, "Do I feel unloved?" Yes, let's own that. Let's notice what happens to my child without you saying anything to them and you'll find things will change quite rapidly between what's happening in the child.

I'll give you an example: I was overseas with a single mum, with a daughter who I think she eight years of age at the time. The mum started explaining to me ‒ at the breakfast table ‒ an emotion she felt with her father. She said the very last time she felt it, she saw her father was just before her father died. He lived in another town in England. She travelled up to see him and he was in the hospital and she sat down with him at hospital, and they had, for the first time in their life, a decent conversation. That was her basic words to me. As soon as she said that, her daughter, eight years old, just burst out into tears, crying and she was inconsolable. She was eating breakfast before then, quite calmly, and just burst out into tears. The daughter had no idea why she was crying, she was just crying. She ran to her mum's lap, jumped on her mum's lap, and just hugged her and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

The mother's looking at me going, "What's going on? What's going on?" And I said, "Well just go back to what you told me." This was all happening while the daughter was sobbing. The daughter was continuing crying on mum's shoulder while we were having this conversation still. And I said, "What did you feel when, for the first time in your life you were able to have a decent conversation with your father?" It just happened that two days later he died and she burst out crying. The instant she burst out crying, her daughter stopped crying, got off of her lap and went back and sat down and started eating as if nothing had actually happened and that shocked the mother so much that she stopped crying. It was like, "How confusing was that?" Can you see what was happening though? The daughter was a perfect response to the mother's emotion. You see it a lot, too, with physical problems in the child, as well, which we'll talk about a bit later.

8.2.3. The effect of shutting down reflected emotions in children

Mary: But very often when we don't have that knowledge about what's actually happening, emotionally and energetically, the temptation is to calm the child down and say "There's nothing wrong, you're okay. It's okay." And so your soul is sending the one message and you're telling them another message, so it's very damaging.

Jesus: You're just holding them in your arms and saying, "That's okay," when what are you feeling? "I'm not okay, I need to cry." Right at the same time they're feeling that barrage of untruth. There's something untruthful here, to them, so that's very confusing. Can you see that? That's why it's so important to be in truth with them.

You notice too that I've talked about in the seminar outline "when the parent shuts down the child's experience ..." So the child comes up to you crying, and you start saying, "Oh, there, there, you don't have to cry. It wasn't that bad." What you're actually doing now is creating a very damaging situation in your child. And that is, the child is experiencing an emotion, which by the way is yours, that you chose not to experience, which in itself is unfair, isn't it, in the first instance. Then they come up to you, and they'll always focus on the parent, generally, or the person who they are feeling the emotion from, they come up to you, and you actually stop them from experiencing that emotion. You're actually shutting down their experience of your own emotion.

Now what that does is it creates another emotion in them of rage. This is why children at a very young age start becoming very enraged with their parents, and this usually happens by the time the child is two or three years of age. That's why the child, during that particular period of time, often goes into these states that are uncontrollable by the parent ‒ "the terrible twos" they are often referred to as. There are lots of other explanations as to why they happen.

The reason why they happen, generally, is because we have an emotion, the child is reflecting the emotion to us, but we also have an emotion of denial of our own emotion, which we want to also deny in the child, which creates rage in the child because the child can't now experience its own emotion without being shut down by us. It's a very, very damaging thing that we're doing in that place.

So when a child is experiencing an emotion, the thing we need to do instead, is to say to ourselves, "I feel this emotion." Not even ask the child what the problem is ‒ you'll already know what the problem is. If the child's crying, you're denying sadness.

You'd be better off, if you ask the child, ask it, "What is it feeling?" And everything it reflects back at you is what you are not feeling, that's in you. Now I know that many of you don't believe this, but if you put it into practice, you'll find very rapidly that it's true. You'll see this relationship occur between you and your child.

You'll notice in that section in the seminar outline I've got "the parent assumes the child has a problem ..." when in reality, every single time, it's the parent's problem. Now that's pretty confronting as a parent to take on board, isn't it? Don't you think?

You think back to every single problem that your child has had. Let's say that they broke their leg: your five year old child fell down the stairs and broke their leg. That was your emotion that created that event; that's pretty confronting, isn't it, to actually go into that emotion? Or let's say the child is six years old and gets this terrible vomiting bug, and for days it looks like they're going to be dehydrated. You take them to the hospital, you're so worried. Well you know what, that is your emotion. Or let's say that a child gets a disease, maybe even a terminal disease, well that's your emotion, too. Or it would be better to put it, denied emotion.

Now that's pretty hard to take on board as a parent, isn't it? Tomorrow when I go through this with Tristan, you'll see the kinds of things I've had to take on board. You'll see that.

Participant Female: When your child wants to suicide?

Jesus: When a child wants to suicide, it's something about your emotion. Yes, always. Now the key is to not judge yourself. You see when you judge yourself, you prevent your emotion. So judging yourself is pointless here but it is important to admit, "This is my emotion." Just admit it to yourself.

In fact, you know what, I feel that the best possible thing you could do to your own spiritual progression is to have a child, and feel all of their emotions. Feel the reflection of all of their emotions back at you, and to actually act emotionally in response to it. That's one of the best possible things you can do in your own progression. I'm not suggesting you have a child for that reason, because that would be unloving but it is a very, very powerful thing for you to do.

Mary: It's more powerful than living with AJ.

Jesus: It is more powerful.

Mary: It's a moment-by-moment reflection of your emotions.

9. Audience questions

9.1. An example of a participant who feels she is a bad mother

Participant Female: I have a daughter who is fifteen and she's come back from school and in this instance, she felt she had been bullied. And I said to her, "It's probably something that I'm not dealing with." But she said, "But it's okay for now." But because I personally feel quite overwhelmed with all the emotions that have been coming to me, I have difficulty getting hold of particulars. I just know that it's everywhere around me. And I said to her, "Well, I have to deal with this." And she said, "Can I do something?" And I said, "Yes, you can try and feel it yourself." And she said, "But I don't know how to feel that," because I've stopped her crying when she was little. So I went through it and I tried to explain to her and she said, "How do I reach these emotions?" And I said, "I'm not very good at it myself," but I tried to go through my own scenario of what I felt to get down to the emotion of feeling something.

And I did get to a point where I was in tears and I was crying, and my daughter fell asleep. And she said to me, "Well I don't know if I can deal with this," and she's been a bit depressed. And I kept thinking, "Am I making it worse for her, because I can't deal with it?" But when she asks me, she stops me now and says, "Mum I don't want to hear anymore, I'm sick and tired of AJ, I don't want to hear anymore. You and your stuff," you know. And so she's says, "Oh I've had this and this and this," and then she goes, "It's so dreadful." And I go, "Do you want to know why?" And then she says, "No." So I don't tell her anymore. But, the problem I have is I feel I understand more and more, and as I try to go into my emotions to experience them, I feel a great sadness that she has to go through what I'm feeling, but I can't reach it fast enough for her, and she's just angry, if you know what I mean.

Jesus: So the first emotion you need to feel is that you're not doing it right. See what you're saying to me is basically, "You can't access your emotions fast enough to make your daughter's life easier on her." How does that feel as a mum?

Participant Female: Terrible.

Jesus: It feels terrible, doesn't it? You need to allow yourself to connect to that emotion. How terrible does it feel?

Participant Female: You're asking me how terrible do I feel. (AJ nods) Very guilty.

Jesus: And do you feel like you're hurt inside, like you're responsible for her life now. Now you're starting to see, just with me saying that, you're starting now to connect to that emotion. This is an emotion you personally need to feel; if you feel that emotion, that's the one that's on the top. Then whatever is underneath will start coming up as well.

See, often what we do as parents is we try to skip to the emotion, when the emotion is quite obvious, in most cases, is what we're avoiding. In this case, you're just avoiding feeling like you're a bad mum. Allow yourself to connect to that emotion and feel that, that you're a bad mum. It doesn't mean it's true, it means that you believe it's true.

Let yourself feel that and connect to that emotion, connect to it, feel it and let it flow in you. Let that emotion flow in you. As that emotion flows in you, now you've got some emotion flowing and it might take a day or two days or a week or something with that emotion, where you might feel that, allow yourself to feel it. Allow that emotion to flow.

It's interesting, you've now switched it back off again while I'm making the explanation, but Jen just walked out the door feeling that emotion. So she's now feeling the emotion, which is that she's a bad mum, which is the same emotion you have. Do you hear her now? You'll feel it like she's feeling it, just like that.

Now when you feel it like that, the feelings of responsibility for your daughter's emotions and your daughter's life will start changing. At the moment she's angry with you because she knows you are responsible for the creation of a lot of these things, and are not owning it yet and that's why she's angry. You don't need to deal with the anger, all you need to do is feel the emotion. As you feel the emotion, her anger will dissipate, as you deal with the emotion. Let yourself do that. It's really important to let that emotion flow.

9.2. Parents are always responsible for their children's emotions if the emotion came from the parent

Jesus: Are there any other questions?

Participant Female: You said something a couple of weeks ago at Eudlo about not being responsible for the kids when they're, I don't know what age, it was quite young, like five.

Jesus: I've never said that. I've said that as time progresses, there's not a single time when you're not responsible for your child's emotion, if the emotion came from you. From God's perspective, there's not a single time when you're not responsible for your child's emotion, no matter what age they are, if the emotion came from you. And that's fair isn't it, when you think about it?

However, as they get older, so when they get to five, six, seven years of age, they start making transitions into their own free will. Now there's a blending, there's an inter-blending, of the choices they're making into the Law of Compensation and into their own Law of Attraction and that process slowly increases until they reach maturity and they've left home. But the majority of causal emotions sitting in them is still your own, as a parent.

Their choices they make, as a result of that, are going to be very different depending on what personality they have and how they respond to those injuries. So, for example, you can get two people that have been sexually abused and one of them will go off and sexually abuse someone else, and the other one won't abuse anyone at all. So why is that? They both have the same sort of injury, but one of them is making a different choice than the other, and that choice is still an important part of their life and they are responsible for their choices. But, when they're children, they're just mostly reflecting our own choices. They're reflecting our own denied emotion.

9.3. An example of a child throwing a rebellious tantrum in response to having a knife confiscated

Participant Female: When you're saying let them do things, a few minutes ago, about tantrums, when you've got a two year old who wants a sharp knife, and you don't want them to have it, because of the fear that they don't know how to handle a sharp knife, they don't know the cause and effect, and consequence, what do you do in that situation? Say they put on a tantrum or have that emotion because they've been denied.

Jesus: What's the emotion of the tantrum?

Participant Female: Anger, I guess.

Jesus: So it's anger. It's actually quite extreme anger, isn't it ‒ it's like rage. It's sort of like a rebellion-type of emotion, isn't it, where I'm rebelling against an authority. So the first thing to look at within yourself is those qualities, of what's going on in yourself, inside of yourself. If they're rebelling, they're rebelling against something.

Now a lot of times what they'll be rebelling against is emotions in you. Now the emotion you described in you is fear. You're afraid that if you gave them a knife they would cut themselves and then what would you do? You don't want to see them hurt. You're afraid of seeing your child hurt. Allow yourself to go into those emotions. Now you can choose there and then, if you want, to take away the knife and let them have their tantrum. But if you don't deal with all the emotions that caused the tantrum, and them wanting the knife, then in the end you're just going to create another event where they get the knife when you're not there.

Participant Female: So in that situation, if I took the knife away but allowed them to still experience those emotions, but then, while they're doing that, or at an appropriate time, going through that fear and go into myself and why ...

Jesus: When's the appropriate time?

Participant Female: Well, probably in the moment.

Jesus: Exactly, so take away the knife and put the knife in the drawer, but it's unfair of us to expect the child to not have a tantrum, while I'm not dealing with the emotion that caused that tantrum. Can you see that? I need to deal with the emotion that caused their tantrum.

Now often times things like a child grabbing a knife will often be done because they're not getting enough attention, for example; where they feel there is not enough attention and they want to do something that's unsafe to get your attention. Now, that means that they're often not feeling loved in the first place when they actually go and do it. So, allow yourself to see that going on within you.

9.4. An example of AJ allowing a child to fully experience his emotions

Jesus: It's probably a good time to bring up another overseas example. Myself and six other people were driving in a car from Miami in the States to Cape Canaveral, you know where they shoot up the shuttle. The reason why we were driving was that I had some talks to do up there. What happened was we were driving in this car, and in the car there were five, six adults and one three year old boy. One of the persons in the car was his mother and she was sitting right down in front, and the three year old boy was sitting right up the back and his name was Luca, and the mum's name, she won't mind if I mention it, was Fiona. Now Fiona has a lot of feelings towards men about being angry with men, and not wanting to give love to men; wanting to be loved by men, but not give love to a man because of some childhood events in her.

What would often happen is that she would feel this feeling inside herself of not wanting to love men, and Luca would straightaway feel unloved. As soon as he felt unloved, what he would do, what he learned to do, was the best way to get love was to actually get attention and the best way to get attention was to do something that really struck mum, and got her attention. So he would often come in yelling and screaming at her, he would come and belt another child in order to get her attention. In the end he got a lot of negative attention, but it was still attention and it helped him, he feels, just feeling his feelings, that it was better that way than having no attention at all.

What we decided to do on this car trip was I pointed out to Fiona that he was manipulating her all the time, to get love. I also pointed out to her the reason why he was ‒ because she wasn't giving any real love, and it's because of her issues with men. The first thing we did was we talked about her issues with men and what was going on with men, and everything with that.

Now what happened, as soon as she started feeling some of her anger with men really quite strongly while we were in the car, as soon as she did that little Luca went into this rage. He was in the back and he started screaming and yelling at his mother, saying he wanted this and he wanted that and he started throwing his toys down to the front of the car. And they were all tempted to stop the car and deal with it, but I said, "No, no, no, let's keep on going with this." So, there were six of us in the car, putting up with this screaming, rage-full child and we finished up letting him be in this screaming rage for an hour and a half. That requires a bit of patience, if you've ever tried that in a car, doesn't it?

Now obviously quite a number of people in the car were getting quite impatient, but I thought it was quite good because it was triggering them as well. So what I did was, that every time he just screamed more, I would just say, "Luca, screaming is not going to get love from your mummy. You are trying to manipulate your mummy." Now he's only three years of age, but he can feel the emotion coming from me about those statements and I just kept saying that. Then I would say to Fi, "Fiona, you don't like men." And I just kept saying that, for that time. That drives people nuts. You can understand why people get driven nuts by me.

Jesus: What happened after an hour and a half of his rage, because his rage was capping some really deep sadness that he's had in him from the time he's been conceived, was he stepped out of the rage and he went into this really deep heartfelt sobbing of, "Nobody loves me." He just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And again, Fiona was very, very tempted to stop the car and give him a hug. I said, "No, no, let it keep going, just let it keep going." Now he did that for nearly twenty minutes. So we had an hour and a half of yelling and screaming, chucking things around, kicking the backs of chairs and he was also yelling at me because I seemed to be the main person who was driving it, so I got a lot of that as well. We just allowed that to continue and then he went into this sadness. He went into this place of this sadness, which was causal emotion, and it only took him twenty minutes. In twenty minutes, he released a lot of causal emotion about his mum not loving him.

When he'd finished that, he stopped crying and he went into this real calm state. He was just looking and he started smiling at everyone. And then he said to mummy, "Mummy could I have a hug now?" Now, of course, that started triggering mummy with regard to why she didn't want to love him, and, of course, she wanted to hug him. So we stopped the car, and she got out and hugged him, right at that moment. Now up until then he was demanding it, wasn't he?

What happened was she was dealing with some of her emotions and he was dealing with some of his emotions, and his emotions were about not being loved, which already had entered him by three years of age. He was releasing some of that causal emotion. But Fiona was also starting to address some of her emotion as to why he didn't feel loved, as well and they got to a stage then where he felt loved. At that time we stopped at a service station, his favourite food is strawberries, so I went and bought him some strawberries and gave him some strawberries, which are his strawberries and he decided he wanted to share the strawberries, so we all finished up eating strawberries.

Now he wasn't in a very sharing state before then ‒ he was throwing a tantrum, screaming, yelling, really noisy, and the reason why was he had these emotions coming at him, "I'm not loved by mummy." There was so much grief in him that he needed to connect to it and that process helped him to connect to that. I was constantly reminding little Luca that he wouldn't be able to demand love from mummy, but he would get love from mummy when he stopped demanding love from mummy.

I kept reminding Fiona that unless she deals with the issues she feels towards men, she would not be able to love her son and he is going to continue to feel this emotion. While, in that particular instance, Luca released a lot of causal emotion about being unloved by mum, that doesn't mean that down the track he wouldn't feel that emotion. Because mum needed to also release, in her, her anger towards men and then her sadness toward men, which she did not do completely while we were in the car. So that means that Luca, at times, still goes into these rages, because he feels so hurt about not being loved by mum.

Mary: They might be doing better by now.

Jesus: They're doing better now. We talk to them quite often, and mum's recently worked through quite a lot of emotions about men, and as a result of that that's bound to affect her relationship with her son.

That's an important thing to bear in mind. There are lots of other examples I could give you, but this is a natural place to have a break. Are there any questions, though, before we go to break? Because I just want to answer any questions about this denial process.

9.5. Reasons for children reflecting different amounts of emotion to the parents

Participant Female: Is there a reason why one child would show you more than your other children? Like they're all the same sex, they're all boys, but one, in particular, shows me so much more.

Jesus: Yes. There are lots of reasons why one child will show you more than the others and it's not because that child is naughty. I hear a lot of people saying, "That child is just naughty and the others are not." The reality is that each child has firstly, their own personality, so each child's reaction to the same stimuli will be different.

Secondly, because of the different times that the children came into our life, they also have different emotional conditions at work that are key emotional conditions. For example, if your first child came into your life when you were twenty and you hadn't worked through hardly any of your causal emotion, then that child may finish up having a lot more damage in them than the child that comes into your life when you were thirty and you had worked through quite a lot of different emotions.

Also, the child's gender will be very much a determining factor. If I'm a man and I have anger towards women; if I have a girl child, she is going to feel that more than if I had a boy child. He will obviously feel that less, but he may feel more the emotion of wanting to be angry with women, because he's reflecting my emotion.

Every single circumstance with our children is totally different; even their ages are different. The times that they came into our life are different. What emotional injuries I had at the time they came into my life are completely different, and what emotional injuries my partner had at the time they came into our life is totally different.

Can you see how there are so many variable factors, that it is totally impossible for each child to act in the same way to the same stimuli? That's the reason why one child will focus on a particular lot of issues. You will find what will happen in your own progression is you'll deal with one's child's focus of all their issues, and then you might find another child has a heap of focus of different issues come up for them. And that will be because you've now worked through the first issues, and you're now onto the issues surrounding what the second child has and the order is seemingly random, but it will be very dependent on your own emotion.

Mary: But certain children might placate our injuries, and other ones trigger us, which is essentially what you're saying. But if we then decide that one child is our favourite child and the other one isn't, then we add actually to their soul damage.

Jesus: I've heard a lot of people say, "Ah, this child was just born spiritual," or, "This child was just born this or that." Honestly, when you're saying things like that, you already have within yourself a lot of damaging emotions projected at the other children, and that is very damaging for those children. The key is to understand that even the most damaged child in our family, what we view as the most damaged child in the family, is actually a reflection of our own denial of emotion or desire. And we'll talk about denial of desire in a minute.

9.6. Identifying the parent whose emotions are being reflected

Participant Male: AJ, going back to the example of the knife, if both parents are in the room, and the child is acting out with one of the parents, that is the emotion from that parent and not necessarily both?

Jesus: Yes. That's correct. The child will generally pick on the parent, and when I say, "pick on the parent," I mean focus their attention on the parent with the problem that they actually are feeling the emotion from.

Another example that I gave: Michael and Fiona, who we mentioned to you earlier were driving with me in a car in Barbados, little Luca was sitting right next to me. He turns around to me and says, "I hate you, AJ." And I said to Michael and Fi, "Which one of you hates me at the moment?" And Fi says, "Oh, I think it was me." And then little Luca then says to Michael, Mike, Fiona's partner, "Silly Mike, silly Mike, stupid Mike, silly Mike." And he just kept on with it, "silly Mike, stupid Mike," like that. And Mike's going, "Oh boy, oh boy," you know, "What's going on now?" And he realised that this was a message, in fact, that he kept on getting from his mother, that he had felt, that he had never connected to and felt inside of himself.

9.7. Children are perfect reflectors of adults' emotions

Jesus: This is what Luca was doing all day. If you can imagine, he was the perfect little trigger. It was great to be with him, because every single moment of every single day, he would go up to people in the group. There were people who had come to a group like this and he would go up ‒ this is a little three-year-old child, and he goes, "You hate your mother." And like the person who was there is a twenty-eight to twenty-nine year old man, and his mother is sitting right next to him. (Laughter) And he says to him, "You hate your mother." And then he goes on to the next person, just like that, just one comment. And the man said, "No I don't, no I don't, I don't hate you." But the truth is that there was this emotion in him of deep hatred towards mum, because of some events in his childhood that mum allowed to occur.

Luca was just constantly reflecting, to every single person, the emotion that they were feeling. You know, another time he would just come up and belt somebody. This sounds like an unruly child, doesn't it? And most people would condemn the child and say, "Aw, so unruly!" But in reality, he was perfectly reflecting the emotion he feels from that particular person right at that moment, right at that moment.

That's pretty confronting if we start looking at it that way, isn't it? Everything the child is doing, right at that moment, is a reflection of my interaction with that child emotionally.

9.8. An example of a participant, who is a parent, feeling tired and hopeless

Participant Female: Hi AJ. When I got here, I just felt completely exhausted. Like I immediately felt like I dropped all my energy. And I'm feeling a bit like, "How on Earth can I parent my children properly when I wasn't parented like that?" You know, I feel like it's hopeless.

Jesus: Yes. So, feel that emotion, you do need to feel that emotion. Many of us as parents do have this hopeless emotion that no matter what I do, I'm just not going to be able to do it well. Another reason, though, why your energy dropped, is there was a whole group of spirits here today who are facing issues with regard to how they've treated their children while on Earth and they're hearing a lot of what I'm saying to them, and feeling more and more depressed, feeling more and more overcome. Many of you are feeling that emotion, too, as we talk about some of these issues, feeling more and more depressed and overcome with all the, "Wow, when does the news get better?" sort of thing.

The truth is, what we need to do in this circumstance is really long to God, pray to God about dealing with these emotions and also asking for God's forgiveness, getting into a repentant state as a parent. Repentance, remember, is what opens grace.

Remember we've talked about this before: Grace from God, or if you can think of it as forgiveness from God. God automatically forgives, of course, but the feeling of love entering us, removing causal emotion, which is grace; that will occur when we're in a repentant state. So if you feel bad as a parent, allow yourself to feel bad. Don't shut yourself down, and don't go into sleep mode, and don't try to avoid it and run away from the issues. Just allow yourself to feel the emotion and this applies to these spirits too. They need to allow themselves to feel, “I was a bad parent," and direct that to God.

Sure, most of us have got no idea how we become a bad parent, most of us have no idea how we even became a parent, aside from the sex act. (Laughter) Aside from that, we've just got no idea and what actually happened and how we got these little children in our lives so most of us feel lots of confusion when it comes to parenting.

The key is to allow ourselves to feel those emotions. Don't shut those emotions down within you. I have two sons, so when I first had to confront all of these emotions, I went through some fairly dark periods of my own progression. Just feeling my deep feelings of personal responsibility for what damage I've done to my boys and I spent a lot of time talking to God about that, a lot of time talking to God, asking for God to illuminate within me the emotions within me that created these problems. Allow yourself to do that.

Participant Female: I guess, I take a little bit of hope from the fact that I know I can't do it by myself, and I forget that I don't have to.

Jesus: Exactly. See this is the problem a lot of times, we talk about a subject where we feel a lot of deep shame, or we feel a lot of judgment of ourselves. Then we get into this state, feeling like it's all hopeless, but in reality actually the opposite is the case. Now that we're facing the truth, it's the most hopeful that it could ever be. The time that it's actually hopeless is when we're not facing the truth and we're not wanting to look at the truth and see all the damage of what we've done in our lives. When we face the truth, that's the time when we get the most assistance from God and that's the time, too, when you'll really feel a lot of Love flowing through you from God, if you connect to God in that instance. That's why it's very powerful for you, as parents, to go through those things.

9.9. An example of AJ allowing a child to fully experience his emotions (continued)

Participant Female: AJ, can you talk more about what is the process in the car to get her to the state where she felt love towards her son?

Jesus: Well, she started talking a lot about how she felt towards men and how men have hurt her over her life. She didn't actually feel love towards her son; she just stopped feeling the anger towards her son. What she did was, instead of actually holding on to that rage inside herself about men, she just started talking about it; the kinds of things men have done to her throughout her life, starting from an uncle and her father, and others, right the way through to where she was today when we were in the car. And she just started describing those events and owning them, like owning them as actual memories and allowing herself to even see that this is how she felt. She didn't actually process the underlying grief at all at that point; all she did was own them.

Often you'll find the same, as soon as you own the emotion; the child's emotion will be reflected differently, as soon as you own it. You don't necessarily have to feel it to completion. She didn't finish processing the emotion.

Mary: No, and what you were doing, as well, was sort of unlearning. Like, Luca had learned something from the constant projection of this emotion at him all of the time, and he had learned a behaviour about how to manage that for himself. So it wasn't only Fi's process, it was actually Luca's process as well. He was needing to learn lessons about love. He had taken on some ideas about love that weren't truthful and everyone in the car was teaching him a truth.

Jesus: A truth about love: the truth about love is that you can't manipulate a person into loving you and that's the truth that Luca had not learned, because his mother had allowed manipulation of herself, in order for him to get love from her. It was about breaking a co-dependent link ‒ remember I talked earlier about breaking a co-dependent link? That's what that particular situation was all about. In fact, I was more focused on Luca and trying to help Luca than I was focused on Fi, in that particular instance. The reason why is that having a screaming child in the car for an hour and a half was pretty hard to put up with.

That often will become your focus, because the one that makes the more and more noise ... But, the truth is, it was his mum's emotions that created that, but his response was to get into demanding situations with his mother in order to get love, and that had to be addressed as well. Now, how you address that, the best way to address that is for mum to start giving love, but unfortunately, even if mum began giving love, wholeheartedly, what would happen to Luca is he would still have that injury, because that injury entered him before birth.

Participant Female: AJ, my youngest son has always been one of my biggest triggers. And, I'm speaking about how, if you don't feel it, the child will feel the emotion, the child will show you. My son, at about four or five, he would go into great rage. And my emotion that I wasn't facing was my fear of angry men. And once I started to recognise that, I hadn't worked on it yet, but even just recognising it, he seemed to calm down quite a bit.

Jesus: That’s spot on and that's exactly what Fi was feeling too. She was so afraid of angry men that she would do anything to make the anger stop. Her son had actually learned that all he had to do to control mummy, is get angry and he's got mummy under his finger and he literally did have mummy under his thumb, and the same goes with you.

Parenting Children S1P2

Jesus: Now, I was thinking perhaps, I would just like to hear some of your comments about what you've heard so far.

Participant Male: Personally, I think you've summed it all up in the first sentence. If we had done all this with our soul, instead of our mind in the first place, we'd all be where we are now. It's just the realisation of all this.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: It's all true and it's just wonderful to finally release a lot of this.

Jesus: A lot of the guilt you feel about not doing it.

Participant Female: Actually, it wasn't guilt. When the young lady down in the front said something, and then you said to her, "You feel like you don't have enough time to process this," or, "You can't process it quick enough." My children and I, we are actually parting ways in two months time, and I didn't realise I had so much fear of that because I thought that if I'm not there I won't be able to help them. And it brought up a lot. I have seven other people living in the house, and I saw so much pain in each and every one of their faces, I didn't realise that I had that much pain inside of me, because they're only reflecting how I feel. So, that's just wonderful, thank you both very much.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: And I would like to say to Mary, what a change. She just looks like she's been on something, from last time. So congratulations. You must have done a lot of work, as well. So thank you. I thank you, everybody for your support, too, I feel it each and every day I'm here and I really thank you.

Mary: Thank you.

Jesus: Mary would probably like to say a few things about that, because we had a chat in our break we had together.

Mary: I have been sitting over here feeling so useless. I had all of this stuff, "I can't say anything, I'm not a parent. I want to say this, oh I can't say that." So, thank you. And I've been feeling lots of stuff about, "How do you be the other half of this soul," (pointing to AJ). He's pretty amazing. (laughter)

Jesus: I don't have any problem with being with the other half of this soul. Sounds pretty good. (Laughter)

Mary: We met Jeremy in the break, and that was really awesome, because he was just himself. And he wasn't worried about what anyone thought, and I went, “I've got to take a leaf out of Jeremy's book.”

Jesus: Where is Jeremy? He's your son, isn't he? Jeremy came up to us and he was just being himself and telling all of his stories and that kind of thing, and Mary was saying, "This is good for me, this is good for me."

One of the problems that we are working through together, Mary and I, is just allowing ourselves to be ourselves, with every single person around us. Mary is finding that quite difficult at times because she is very sensitive to everyone's projection of emotion. As soon as she feels like she needs to be somebody different than she is, then it gets a bit confusing inside, doesn't it, babe?

Mary: I feel like I've got to be perfect up here. I don't expect any of you to be perfect, so it's crazy that I feel like I have to be, but I do.

Jesus: So Mary is doing the rest of the afternoon ... (laughter) while I have a rest. She said she needs that trigger ... didn't you say that? (Mary shaking her head)

No it's just a matter of, it's the same with a lot of interactions. When you're under the spotlight, there's this tendency then to act differently and it's driven by this feeling that nobody really is going to accept you as you really are. That's a big childhood emotion, isn't it, that gets projected on us when we are children a lot. So it's good to work through that emotion.

10. The damage to the child of the parents' denial of personal desires

Jesus: The next thing I wanted to talk about with you is the suppression of your desires as a parent. Do you know what I mean by that? Every single time that you suppress a desire in yourself, you're also teaching your child to suppress a desire within themselves.

10.1. If the parents suppress sexual desires, this impacts on the child’s entire sexual identity

Jesus: Let's get to some of the desires that are really tricky desires in terms of most of us have some shame or guilt about, and that is our sexual desires. Every single time you suppress your sexual desires within yourself, you are also suppressing the sexuality of your child. Now how many of us feel like we have some major issues regarding sexuality in our lives? How many of you feel that? Like I've had lots to deal with through mine and every single time we don't deal with those emotions and we actually suppress the desires that we have, we're influencing our child to do very, very similar things.

Mary: What's the opposite of suppress, though? It's not actually to enact the desires either, is it?

Jesus: No, no. It's a matter of feeling them. It's a matter of feeling the desires that you have. Some of the desires will be out of harmony with Divine Love. Some of them will be out of harmony with God's Laws. But you still need to feel them, and you need to feel them to release them, to work on them, you need to feel them.

10.1.1. An example of shame of nudity and sexual shame

Jesus: Let's just give some examples. Let's say there are three or four children in the family. Three of them are teenage girls now, and there's a father and a mother. And the teenage girls were used to nudity when they were young and so they're still running through the house naked, and they're in their teens. And so dad sees them, naked, and he tells them, "Go and put clothes on." How does that sound to you? What comments do you want to make about it?

Participant Female: It's like making them feel ashamed of being naked.

Jesus: Yes. It is making them feel ashamed. Now, what must be going through the father to actually request that of them, do you think? What do you reckon might be?

Participant Female: He's obviously feeling something for them sexually and he doesn't want to deal with that.

Jesus: Exactly, otherwise he would not be worried about it, would he? If he was not worried about it when they were five, or ten, why would he be worried about it at fifteen?

Participant Female: And what about the father walking around naked in front of the girls?

Jesus: Well if he's done it all their life, why wouldn't he do it still? Like, in the end God didn't design us with clothes on. He designed us without clothes on.

Participant Female: In our family, we all used to walk around naked, but every time, I noticed that as soon as they got to be teens, they would be asking mum and dad to put their clothes on.

Jesus: Yes. Why would that be? What are the feelings that mum and dad have about their own bodies? If the child is reflecting shame of the body back to the parents, what does the parent feel about their own body? Shame. So you must have some shame about your own body, and you know you do. All they're doing is reflecting that back to you. That's all their doing.

So I'm not suggesting you all need to now go strip off and be naked around everybody. What I'm saying is that, if our behaviour changes due to age differences or whatever, we need to seriously look at the underlying emotion, as parents. If our children's behaviour changes, throughout any period of our lives, we need to look at our behaviour as parents. Our children are our Law of Attraction. What they're actually doing with us and saying to us and interacting with us with is the proof of what's within our soul, whether we want to believe it or not. It's there, and we need to allow ourselves to see it.

Participant Female: Since my daughter was young, she's always buttoned me up and told me to put my clothes on. I'm just wondering is that because I'm in such denial because I don't feel that way?

Jesus: Yes, you're in denial of an emotion that you actually do feel inside of yourself that you've intellectually skipped over ‒ we often do this as parents. What we do is we intellectually skip over the emotion thinking we don't have it, or thinking we've accepted some new thought, when in reality we haven't dealt with the issue emotionally and our children will perfectly reflect back to us the fact that we haven't dealt with the issue emotionally.

Whenever a child does that with you, it's a perfect thing. Straightaway ‒ obviously I haven't dealt with this. Now often what we want to do as parents is to say, "Oh I've dealt with it, I've dealt with it. It must be the child; there must be something wrong with the child." No, no, it's actually still going on in you and you've just suppressed it. Really important to see that. Any other comments about that?

Participant Female: Now I can see, I think, my oldest daughter, it's like growing up and changing and she's really not confident in it and she wants to cover up and telling me all the time, "Put some clothes on. Go get dressed." I know that's how I felt as a child, and she's showing it to me all the time.

Jesus: Yes, it's how you still feel.

Participant Female: It is and I still have a lot of it, but it's not wanting to deal with any of it. I had no idea. I hated it, I hated everything changing and it's just so obvious.

Jesus: Yes, those issues of sexuality are very important to deal with as parents because they control how our children eventually grow up and how they interrelate with the opposite sex and they control even the quality of the relationships they have with the opposite sex. So they're very, very important emotions to deal with. When we have the 'Sex and Sexuality' discussion, we'll confront a lot of those emotions that you may feel within you.

10.1.2. An example of finding two children playing with each other sexually

Jesus: The thing is, with the children, how many of you, if you walked up and saw two children playing with each other's private parts ‒ even just calling them "private parts" is interesting ‒ but they're playing with each other's private parts, and it's all in public, how would you respond? Be honest, how would you respond? How have you responded when you found this happening with your own children?

Participant Female: When my kids were little, I would have said, "Oh, don't do that now," but now, with the grandchildren, I can see that that was something that I suppressed in them that was coming from me, because of my problems with my sexuality. So I am changing that through my grandchildren and hopefully it will get better.

Jesus: So when your children were children, you were feeling like shutting them down straightaway. How many of you have done it, "Oh, it's okay to do that ..." or how many of you have said it's okay to do that? But, oftentimes we say it even, but what are we feeling? Like we're saying, "Oh, it's okay," when deep inside of you, "Don't do that! Don't do that, in front of people." Isn't that right? Inside is a feeling that's totally different, don't you agree? That's often what's happening inside of us. Now when we have that feeling, that is the suppression.

10.1.3. Creating sexual shame in children

Jesus: The key with all of our interactions with children sexually is that we need to make sure obviously that our desires, sexually, are pure. If there is any projection whatsoever on our children, that's going to change things totally. A lot of the projections are of shame. How you feel shame about your own body, for example. Or shame about sex. Or, if your children come in on you when you're making love, how do you feel? Like there's this great big shame, a huge reaction to cover up and sometimes we may even yell at the child, "Get out! Get out. What are you doing in here?" Now all of those emotions are being projected at the child. What is the child learning? They're learning to shut down sexuality, that sex is bad.

Mary: To be very private and secret about sex. That's what they're learning.

Jesus: So you've learned that, haven't you?

Mary: Yes, I have. Which is why I'm not being vocal in this discussion. (Laughter)

Jesus: So that doesn't mean that you would be promiscuous, when you show off yourself, an exhibitionist. I'm not suggesting that, because that's driven by a desire for other types of attention, isn't it? Driven by a desire to be loved, a desire to be thought of as fantastic, and all those other things which are also in disharmony with love. The key is to focus on what am I feeling inside of myself, emotionally, with regard to sexuality, because whatever you're not feeling inside of yourself is what your child is actually feeling.

Mary: And shame, like shame about our sexual organs or about the way we look as a woman or a man ‒ that's definitely something that gets passed on to children non-verbally.

Jesus: Oftentimes a child will have some kind of problems with their sexual organs. Lately I've had a fair few mothers talk to me about how their daughters' vaginas are all swollen and sore all the time and sometimes their daughters have thrush or cystitis and they're not having sex or anything, they're only seven or eight years of age. Things like that ‒ what's going on? What's going on is that their body is acting out, all of the mother's shame about her own sexual organs and things that have happened in her own life. Usually to do with abusive issues surrounding sex as well. That's what's actually going on.

Look really seriously at those issues with regard to sexuality and how those things are being projected at the child because when you don't own it, the child experiences it. So remember, every emotion you deny, the child will act out and experience, right down to physical response, every single emotion. That's pretty powerful isn't it, to understand? That also is about the suppression of desire too, so we want to talk about desires.

10.2. If the parent denies their own desire, the child feels its desires need to also be suppressed

Mary: So the other important thing we wanted to say about that was if you live in your passion, then you teach your child it's wonderful to be in your passion. If you feel that "Oh I can't be in my passion because I won't have enough money" or "I really have an obligation to the family," then automatically the child is learning it's actually too difficult to fulfil your dreams, too difficult to live in your passions in your life. So often we use the excuse of having a family to not follow our dreams or live in our passions, but it is actually quite damaging to the soul of that child, because they learn that they can't do that in their own life.

Jesus: So how many of you feel like right at the moment, the job you're working in is not the job you want? How many of you feel that? About a third of the audience, maybe. Okay, now if you've got children living with you, with that feeling, you are actually teaching them to do jobs they don't like.

Mary: Where you have to deny yourself for money.

Jesus: You're teaching them how to prostitute themselves for money, really. So stop doing that. Live in your desire. Ask yourself what your desires are. If you don't know what your desires are, pray to God about your desires. Allow yourself to work through them, and discover them and explore them. Work out what they are, and then when you know what they are, you'll be able to do them.

Mary: But, if you go to live in your desires but you feel really guilty, like, "Oh, I'm doing this, but I'm taking a pay cut, and then my family won't have as much," what's the emotion they're going to feel? They'll feel, "Something's not quite right here," and they'll probably trigger the guilt in you. "It's not fair, we didn't get new shoes." And that's because you actually feel guilty about your decision to live in your passion. So it has to be a pure desire.

Jesus: Like if you do something that requires a pay cut, for example, to do what you enjoy, or you decide to work only three days a week, so you can spend two days a week doing what you enjoy more, and your children are affected by that, if you feel guilty about that, as Mary said, your children will reflect back to you your own guilt. They'll make you feel more guilty until you deal with that guilt about actually following your own desire. Allow yourself to feel that guilt. Allow yourself to feel why you feel guilty about them not getting as much, but still follow your passion. It's very important to follow your passion because otherwise your children don't know how to follow theirs ‒ that's how they learn from you.

Many of us also do this with sports, and things like that. You see this a lot in the States, and also here in Australia, because we're a fairly sporting mad country. You see the parents who haven't been successful in sports themselves, often getting their children to be more and more successful, and pushing them, pushing them, pushing success. You see that happening quite a lot. Do you ever feel yourself doing that, as a parent; wanting the child to succeed in a certain area of their life? Wanting them to succeed in academics, or wanting them to succeed in sports? That is your unhealed emotion because in the end what we need to be doing is encouraging them to do what they want to do, and encouraging them to do that.

Mary: I received the projection that you should take every opportunity, because you have this opportunity. And so I ended up going into things that I didn't even really want to do because I should take up the opportunity. I have all these opportunities. It's sort of subtle sometimes, as well.

11. Audience questions

Jesus: So are there any questions about following your desires that you would like to ask?

11.1. An example of a child walking in on its parents having sex

Participant Female: I'd like to revisit where the child comes in and you're making love; that just confused me.

Jesus: (Laughs) What would confuse you about it?

Participant Female: Well I don't know that I'd feel comfortable continuing. (Laughter)

Jesus: I didn't say you had to continue.

Participant Female: Yes, I know. So I would just like more input on where does it go into sacred union that it is for the two of you? And maybe I'm not entirely clear within myself on this.

Jesus: Firstly, if both of you as a couple believed it was a sacred union and were totally okay with it being as it was a private event, and you didn't have any emotions of shame or guilt, you wouldn't attract your child coming in the room anyway. So the fact that your child came in the room means that you actually do have some emotions of guilt or shame about the sex act. The first thing to do is go through those emotions.

Obviously if it happens, you will feel triggered. So, stop the whole process and start talking about how that made you feel. "I felt ashamed. I felt guilty. I felt whatever ..." whatever the feelings that you have. Work your way through those emotions, because that was the Law of Attraction, the event that was attracted by your own soul.

Jesus: You may have felt that you were in a sacred union, but there were obviously other emotions regarding sexuality that needed triggering by embarrassment before you would feel them. Go into them and feel them. Remember your child is a complete reflection of your own denied emotions. Your child wouldn't even come into the room if there wasn't an emotion inside of yourself. What you need to do is focus on what is the emotion inside myself.

If you think about all of your parenting in this way, it makes parenting quite simple, when you think about it. Anything that happens that I'm distressed about with my child, there's an emotion I’ve just denied. That's a pretty simple thing to remember, isn't it? Don't you think? If I just keep remembering that, and keep remembering that with every single transaction, I'll work through all the emotions it exposes. Can you see how that relates to that?

Participant Female: Yes, I can. But it's not just children; it seems like coming across your world, it's everything.

Jesus: It is everything.

Participant Female: It is essentially everything.

Mary: Once you decide you're going to deal with your emotions.

Participant Female: Yes, which is great. Even you sending out the email, which I shared with some people, as "Jesus and Mary"; that was a forty-eight hour process for me.

Jesus: Exactly. Which is the reason why I did it. (Laughter)

Participant Female: (Laughter) Thanks for that one.

Jesus: No worries, that’s my pleasure.

11.2. Identifying the parent whose emotions are being reflected for separated parents

Participant Female: I wanted to know if the child reflects the parents and one parent isn't there, at what point do you feel you can stop? If you don't know how much is yours and theirs, and you just keep going and going until the Law of Attraction stops, even if it might be his?

Jesus: Ah, see this is where many of us who are in separated partnerships want to believe it's the other person's Law of Attraction. How many of you feel like that? You want to believe it's the other guy. "It's the guy, or it's the girl, it's not mine!" The truth is that if it's happening with you and you have an emotional response, it's yours. So look at that every single time. Don't put that off. In the end all it is is you're just saying, " I'm a bit ashamed of what's in me, and I want my stuff to stop at some point." Well your stuff will stop as soon as the Law of Attraction stops bringing it to you. And the Law of Attraction will stop bringing it to you as your soul condition changes. Remember our session on the Law of Attraction? That's the beauty of the Law of Attraction is it tells you the truth, every single time.

12. Understanding the child’s Law of Attraction

Mary: Which probably brings us to our next section, talking about the child's Law of Attraction, and what creates the child's Law of Attraction.

Jesus: The child's Law of Attraction, everything about the child's Law of Attraction is really your Law of Attraction. But of course, as the child grows, it starts gathering its soul condition, and as its soul condition changes, it changes. And as its soul condition changes, new Law of Attraction events are brought upon by its own soul condition.

So in the end, if the child is in its teenage years, its Law of Attraction will be a combination of yours and the child's. And from then on, right the way through its life, it's going to be a combination of yours and the child's Law of Attraction. So if your children are sixty, fifty, forty, and you're seventy, what's happening between you and your children is still a lot about your own Law of Attraction and the damage you've done with your own children.

Mary: Because their free will choices will be influenced by their soul condition, which is a fairly direct result of your own soul condition. So there'll always be a link.

Jesus: So if that's the case, when something happens to my child, what do I need to do in every single circumstance? Look at what emotion inside of myself am I denying. How do I feel about that event? So ask yourself firstly, how am I feeling about this? So going back to the one with the child walking in on you making love ‒ "How do I feel?" "Ashamed." Or you may feel like you took out time from your child that you shouldn't have, or something like that. You might have all sorts of different emotions that might have caused that to occur. Allow yourself to feel them there and then, just like a child would.

Mary: I don't know if Peter minds, but I was talking to Peter the other day, and he's having a situation with one of his adult sons, but actually the emotions his son is feeling are triggering a lot of emotions with him about his mum. So that's a fair comment, Peter?

Jesus: So even an adult child, and with feelings you have in the interaction with an adult child, will be about your own Law of Attraction and the interaction between that and the child's condition.

Mary: And this is an event happening in Peter's child's life, so it's not even really related to his interaction with his son, but the event that's happening in his life, you can find the causal emotion within you, that probably caused the Law of Attraction for your son to have this series of events.

Jesus: So let's say you had a daughter, and the daughter is married and they have a split up; they're only married for two years and they split up. That will be partly your own Law of Attraction. The reason why is because your daughter's emotions were created mostly by her environment of which you were mostly a part. So therefore it's to do with something about your own Law of Attraction. That's why we often have a lot of very strong feelings about what happens to our children. The reason why is because we know, at the soul level, we created a lot of their emotions. We know that, and we feel responsible for that. The truth is we don't have to now change their life for them. What we need to do is change our own life, change our own emotions.

Mary: Because if we try and change their mind or fix it for them, there's still the contrast between what we're saying and how our soul feels. It will be the most to help your child once you have dealt with the emotion yourself, especially if it's an adult child.

Jesus: So can you see the importance of looking at their Law of Attraction?

12.1. An example of a child breaking a leg

Jesus: So let's say your child breaks a leg. If you see it as your Law of Attraction, then you'll be far better off in solving those kinds of problems, then you will be in thinking that it's some kind of coincidental event.

Participant Female: My son did break his ankle once. So if I had gone and said to him, "How are you feeling at the moment? What are your feelings at the moment?" Would that help me to get in touch with the feelings that I had if I wasn't aware of them?

Jesus: Probably not. Because the issue is not what he was feeling, but what you were feeling at the moment. Do you see that?

Participant Female: Yes. So how would I get the connection? Say for instance that he was at school, and I was at work, and he broke his leg. And an hour later I'm with him, and that's the thing, and I've forgotten all about what was happening for me an hour ago. So how do I fit into that?

Jesus: Go into the event that you can connect to, which is the fact that you're now patching up a child who's broken his leg. You're now sitting in hospital, waiting for the doctor to come and set his leg, and you're going through all of these different emotions. The first thing you do is tune into all of those emotions; all of the feelings of responsibility that you had, and all of those other feelings that are all coming up. Go into those emotions rather than trying to run away from them.

If you're feeling panic, go into the panic, and the fear that you feel. So how many of you, if you got a phone call from your school, saying, "Please come quickly, your child has hurt themselves," how many of you would go into this terrible panic? Feel that, because that's one of the events that it's triggering for you. Feel the responsibility, feel that. Go through all those first. Then when you've gone through all of those, a lot of times what will come to you is what you were feeling, probably, at the time the event occurred.

12.2. Identifying emotions that created the Law of Attraction event

Jesus: But if that doesn't help, then ask the child, "When did it occur?" But you don't need to ask the child their feelings so much, because it's to do with your feelings. So, remember the instance I related before the break, where the lady was relating this experience with her dad, just before her dad died; two days before her dad died she visited her father, and how the daughter was crying. Remember I was relating that experience. She didn't have to focus on what was the daughter feeling, because the daughter was feeling quite obviously sad. The daughter didn't even know why she was feeling sad. What she needed to do was look at what, within herself, she just said, what she just stated, that she wasn't connected with emotionally about.

12.2.1. An example of a parent being distracted by her child

Jesus: So what I've been talking with parents for example, we've been sitting down together, like around in a small group, with maybe fifteen people or so, and talking. And I'll start focusing on one of the parent’s emotions that they've asked me some questions about. And all of a sudden, their child, who is outside playing, rips out through the door, and runs into it, jumps on their lap, and starts pulling their ears, pulling their hair. And like, what's going on?

And she says, "Oh he's so distracting, he’s so distracting." And I'm saying, "I'm sorry, but you do not want to hear this conversation, and that's why he's distracting you." He felt her emotion, her emotion ‒ "I want to get away from this. I want to get away from this somehow. Please, someone, come and rescue me from this conversation." And so, he, who's outside, comes running in and jumps on her lap and rescues her from the conversation. And then she blames him and says, "He's so distracting." But, in reality, she wanted to be distracted.

So quite often I say, right at that moment, I say, "You wanted to be distracted. You feel your emotion. Your emotion was you didn't want to hear what I was saying to you. You opened your mouth and said, "AJ please tell me this." and then, right at the same time, the feeling was "I hope he doesn't tell me anything, because I'm scared stiff what he's going to say." And so, that emotion got projected and the child is the perfect response every single time to the emotion we deny as a parent. Can you see what happens pretty constantly?

13. Audience questions

13.1. An example of a participant's son working through his own emotions

Participant Female: AJ, lately, I believe my child, an eleven-year-old, has been kind of getting upset about something. He just seems to run off or he goes off to his room crying or whatever has happened. And something is, I'm not really feeling any resistance, or I don't really change him. I really can't figure what's going on to cry about it. Am I in denial, because, very quickly, it just passes? He doesn't go on and on like he used to. And I'm just feeling very connected to him and what he's feeling, but am I just in denial with what is actually happening?

Jesus: What's actually happening in your son's case, he's eleven, isn't he? What's happening in his case is because you've released some emotions, particularly about men, over the past few months, over the past year actually, you’ve released quite a lot about it, he's now actually just allowed to experience his emotions that he's held, that have been within him by himself. The fact that he's not coming to you and doing it with you means that it's not to do with something that's still within you ‒ it's actually something that is now just within him that he will need to release. And it will be quite rapid for him to do that because he's so young. He'll be able to release it within fifteen to twenty minutes, half an hour, and it's done. And he'll feel quite differently afterwards. So the key is just to allow that to occur.

If he was personally reacting with you and crying at you, and wanting hugs from you, and all those kinds of things in that process, then, yes, it would be something to do with your own feelings that you're denying or shutting down. But the truth is, in your situation, you've been quite open in dealing with some man issues, and things like that, over the last year, and that's actually enabling him now to actually just release the emotions he felt, like injustice and things like that about being projected upon as a male. And so, he's doing that quite naturally, and he's doing it quite privately because he doesn't need to do that with you. You've actually made it quite easy for him to deal with those emotions, which is great.

Participant Female: I forgot to pick him up from school on Thursday, and he has to carry this enormous instrument, and then I remembered at twenty past three, and I'm driving up the road and there he was, carrying this enormous thing and he said, "I waited fifteen minutes for you!" carrying this thing, and I thought, "Gosh, I should be feeling really guilty," and I just felt really happy inside. And he was so upset with me. So I just wanted to check, was I denying one of the deeper emotions.

Jesus: If you felt guilt, you would have been denying a different emotion. If you felt shame as a parent, if you felt angry, you would have been denying; if you felt any of those kinds of emotions you would have been denying. If you cried, it would have been release of a causal emotion. The fact that you stayed happy means that you probably actually created that event to help him trigger one of his emotions, unknowingly to yourself.

We often do this at the soul level, so what I find myself doing in interactions now, a lot, is I'll just say something to somebody, I don't mean anything by it, it just happens to be exactly the thing that triggers them into an emotion, and I felt quite happy. I was fine. But they felt the emotion. So you'll find the more you clear away your own emotions, what actually happens is, you start responding, like a child, to other person's emotions.

So you'll get to a point in your own progression where you will be like a child in the way you respond to everyone's emotions. And that will trigger everyone around you, just like your own child does with you, right now. And that is the place where I was in the first century, in that place, automatically just doing all these things without really thinking about them, but everyone around me was being triggered by all sorts of little things that I was doing. And that's what's starting to happen with yourself. That's actually a very good sign that you've released quite a lot of emotion. So that's positive for you, isn't it?

Participant Male: Does that mean that's what happened with the disciples.

Jesus: In what way, Denis?

Participant Male: In the first century when you were going around triggering all their emotions.

Jesus: Basically, everyone around me that met me finished up getting triggered in some way. Obviously, anger is the dominant emotion in most of them, but they were all sorts of emotions being triggered all the time. And none of that obviously is recorded in the Bible very much. Although there are instances where it is recorded in the Bible about the anger.

Mary: This is really annoying. (Laughter)

13.2. An example of a participant who walked in on his parents having sex

Participant Male: My question was, about the child's emotion and also with this sexuality thing. The child just walks in on his parents making love, how does that stay with him? I'm only relating it to my own experience and ...

Jesus: That's going to depend totally on how the parents treat the issue.

Participant Male: Oh, I see ... I think about it occasionally.

Jesus: It depends what emotions were projected upon you when you did it. So this is where it's very important the parents own their own emotions.

Participant Male: I think it was the look of, "Get out!"

Jesus: So, straightaway, the reason probably why you've been thinking of it a bit lately is because it will be triggering issues of shame about sexuality or observing sexuality. So the key is to work your way through that emotionally, the feeling that you had when you were yelled at to get out, when you didn't even mean to be there. There's also another feeling that you had of injustice. Like, you didn't mean to do anything wrong and yet you're getting treated badly.

Participant Male: Yes.

Jesus: Allow yourself to feel about that.

Participant Male: Because I'm thinking I have a number of these triggers throughout my life, but I've never been one to worry if the children were about when I was making love with my wife. But, she always was. So whether she was trying to trigger me, or was it just her own stuff?

Jesus: Well, if she was, then it would have been a Law of Attraction for you and that is the Law of Attraction related to the fact that you walked in on your parents. And there's a link for every single event. So allow yourself again to feel your own emotions about the childhood event. That's the important thing.

Now if the parents in that situation didn't project any emotion at the child that was negative at all, then what would happen is the child would forget about it in five minutes time probably. They wouldn't feel any embarrassment, they wouldn't feel any shame, they wouldn't feel any injustice, they wouldn't feel even really like laughing at their parents or anything like that necessarily because if the parents have dealt with all those emotions, it would just be another event in life, and they wouldn't have any emotional response of that.

13.3. Releasing our parent's Law of Attraction from our lives

Participant Female: I'd like to know when I don't have to have my dad's Law of Attraction for his life in my life?

Jesus: When you have released all of the emotions created by that link, you will no longer have a parent's Law of Attraction. So, what that's telling you is if you're getting very, very similar things happen in your life as your dad had happen in his life, then that's telling you the emotions inside of you related to your dad are not healed yet in those particular areas. And the key is to allow yourself to feel about them and process them. When you heal them, the linkage between your father and yourself will be broken, but also what will be broken is the same Law of Attraction. You'll have a completely different Law of Attraction.

13.4. An example of a son who only cries in front of his mother

Participant Female: I just wanted to let you know I've just come to a realisation ...

Jesus: Awesome.

Participant Female: When your children injure themselves, I just had my own son have an accident on his bike, and we've got two hours before he gets home, he hasn't shed a tear, looks at me, he promptly falls apart. I just feel like that would be all my stuff, and he feels he can't cry, he's showing me. Is that right?

Jesus: Yes, totally right. And also he can only feel his emotions when he's in your company.

Participant Female: So would that be a dad issue in that he doesn't have a cry around his dad?

Jesus: Certainly. It's going to be an emotion that you also have about crying, because he's interacting with you, you see. Remember, every interaction with you, has to do with you.

13.5. Educating children about sex

Participant Female: And I thought the opportunity you were saying about sex, and walking in on your children, is that a lot of parents have a fear about actually having to talk to their children about sex, and maybe explain what they're doing.

Jesus: Very true. And it's a major problem, isn't it? How many of you grew up and when you had your first sexual experience it was the first time you actually learned about sex? That's probably happened for the majority of people of our age bracket. So, yes, there are obviously a lot of emotions involved with that as well.

But just remember that every single time your child interacts with you, if the interaction is with you, then it's to do with your Law of Attraction. So if he goes up to mummy, then it's mummy's Law of Attraction. If he goes up to dad, then it's dad's Law of Attraction. That's what's happening at the time.

14. Understanding the child’s Law of Attraction (continued)

14.1. An example of a participant's son who had two life threatening Law of Attraction events

Jesus: Any other questions at all?

Participant Female: I've just had a memory about my older son, when he was sixteen, he had two quick major events happen within two weeks of each other, to the day. The first one was he got hit by a car, he'd been smoking dope and was crossing a major highway, and his friend called out to him, "Don’t go!" And he got thrown onto the top of the car and his friend ran all the way home to tell me. He said my son's first reaction was, "Oh, mum's going to kill me."

Jesus: He was already nearly dead ... (Laughter)

Participant Female: And then two weeks later, he had been at a school dance and was coming home, he and his friend, two guys stopped, because they were dressed in fancy dress after the school dance, and these guys thought they were gay, and beat the crap out of them with a baseball bat. And my son said, "All of a sudden, mum, I just, intuitively knew that it was time to run, and I screamed and we got away from them." And I know that's got to be about me, in particular that it happened two weeks apart. And I guess I'm just a little confused. I mean I was brought up in a violent household.

Jesus: The first incident and the second incident are due to different emotions within you. The second incident is due to your violent childhood and the fears and other emotions that you have about that still that you need to allow yourself to release. What will happen in your children's life, often, is that … see often we don't feel fear for ourselves ... if we've grown up in a violent household, what often happens is we de-tune so much from the fear, we go into anger, rage and other types emotions and we de-tune from the fear. But the fear is still within us. And often then the only way to trigger it is through our children.

So what happens is our Law of Attraction, which is the fear that is in the child, actually attracts events which then trigger our own fear. And that's what you need to allow yourself to process ‒ the feelings that you have about the violent, abusive childhood you had. And some of that was to do with sexuality as well. So you know what I was speaking about there.

The first issue, which is your son having an accident, the key thing there is to look at your own emotions, firstly after you heard about the accident. So go into those emotions. But then ask yourself, if you can, the emotions that you felt that day, like before the accident occurred as well. Now that's a lot harder, generally, unless we know to ask those kinds of questions of ourselves. What I do now is I ask myself what was I doing before that occurred, before that accident occurred.

Participant Female: It was just about 10 weeks ago so ...

Jesus: So it's hard now.

Participant Female: I'm sure I'll be able to go into it ...

Mary: And the reason why his first words were, "Mum is going to kill me," are probably an emotion.

Jesus: See everything that is said is said for some reason from the Law of Attraction as well. So a lot of times I've noticed that people don't hear what they're saying to me when they come and ask me about a problem. And the reason why is they're so far de-tuned from the emotion, that the actual words that they're saying to me tell me all the emotions that they're actually denying within themselves. And I can feel the emotions at the same time so I can have that correlation. Most of the time, the person is already telling themselves the answer to their own issue.

Participant Female: And I do realise he would have grown up feeling a lot of my own unresolved fears.

Jesus: Yes. You have a lot of unresolved fears about danger and safety and they're very much involved in that first incident of his accident.

Participant Female: I was very over-protective of him.

14.2. The parent needs to understand how the Law of Attraction operates for their child

Mary: I was just going to ask if everyone was clear about children's Law of Attraction? Because AJ gets asked that all the time. Like what's their Law of Attraction, what's the parents' Law of Attraction? Is that clear to everyone, now?

Jesus: Basically, pretty much everything is your Law of Attraction as a parent. (Laughter) Now, the only proviso to that is that, as the child grows older, what's your Law of Attraction is how they relate to you. So, for instance, if your child is twenty, relating to you in a certain way, that's your Law of Attraction. But if they're relating to other people in different ways, that's a combination of what you've created in them, and their own decisions, which is not just your Law of Attraction. But it's a combination of yours and theirs.

15. Processing emotions

15.1. Accessing causal emotions

Participant Female: I feel that there are a lot of things that happened that I own, like for example what’s been going and it fixes it for that time, but then it keeps coming round and round, so obviously I'm not getting to the causal and that's the problem I've had, not getting to the causal. So my concern is that if I don't deal with the causal at the time, then my kids are going to suffer.

Jesus: Okay. Yes. So let's look at that issue. How do I know that I've accessed the causal? You're right. If it happens over and over again, then I haven't accessed the causal. However, that doesn't mean that I haven't accessed certain aspects of the causal in each event. A lot of times what we often do is, we think, "Oh it just happened again, I mustn't have dealt with it at all." But what I've noticed in my own processing is that, I will deal with one issue, about the causal, but be too afraid to deal with another issue about the causal.

15.1.1. An example of AJ not wanting to be loved

Jesus: So let's say the causal event may be something that happened in your childhood. An example for myself, a couple of days ago, what I was dealing with was I had this realisation at the soul level that I didn't want to be loved. I was thinking before then that I did want to be loved, and nobody could love me. But then I had this realisation ‒ the fact that nobody loved me meant that I didn't want to be loved. And then I had to allow myself to ponder about that. And pray about that, after I did that, I realised there was a series of five or six events that came to me from what would be the equivalent of my childhood for you, but it's my first century experience of events where somebody loved me, and they died as a result of loving me.

Then I had lots of memories about the millions of people who've been tortured to death because they loved me, and all of these different feelings of responsibility about that. Then I had some feelings about what happened to Mary during her life because she loved me and went through lots of different emotions there about that as well. And what I realised was that there was this one aspect of wanting to be loved that I was dealing with before then, then I realised that I didn't want to be loved and then there were so many facets to that. Like there were just so many, and still are, I've got some more coming up now, still, about it and so far I've dealt with nearly fifteen or sixteen of the different facets of why I don't want to be loved. But I can still feel there's some more there in me; just some events and memories that occurred.

My Law of Attraction is not going to change, I'm not going to get loved completely, until I deal with those completely. The Law of Attraction will keep bringing me situations where people treat me unlovingly until I deal with them completely. But that doesn't mean that I haven't dealt with some of them. So, just be careful about the judgement, "Oh I must not have dealt with any of it." Because there is a chance you have.

15.1.2. Feeling about childhood events

Jesus: But the second thing I'd like to say is that if you have the same repeating events occurring, then yes there is a possibility that the causal emotion has not been addressed. The question you need to ask yourself, is, when I feel, am I feeling about a current event, or am I feeling about a childhood event? If I’m feeling about a childhood event, there's a high likelihood my causal emotion is involved in that event. If I'm feeling about the current event, then it's only an effect emotion.

Participant Male: I find if I can't remember a childhood event, then I just ask myself is the emotions I'm feeling child-like or are they adult-like?

Jesus: Exactly, so if you have an adult-like feeling in your experience of this emotion, it's highly likely you're not getting at the cause. If you're having a child-like experience in the experience of the emotion, you may be getting at the cause. Not necessarily, but you may be. When I say may be, a lot of times there are blockages to the cause at the child level, and you do need to deal with the blockages to the cause.

My blockages to the underlying emotion that I wasn't feeling loved and I didn't recognise it was because I didn't want to be loved. That was the big thing that I couldn't recognise. I kept getting events where I wasn't being loved, crying about not being loved but not recognising the truth yet, that actually I didn't want to be loved, because everyone who's ever loved me, finished up dying, or being tortured to death because of it.

What I'm saying, I suppose, is that often times we might be crying about a childhood event that we think is causal, but actually the cause is actually just underneath that and the key is to pray about that. If you know that it's happening regularly, just pray about it more, and allow your Law of Attraction to show you that it might be something deeper again.

15.1.3. An example of not wanting to be loved

Jesus: I've had a lot of those kind of flipside emotions, where I wanted to be loved and I was wondering why I wasn't loved, and nobody was loving me, and I was thinking it was because I was feeling unlovable. And actually it's not because of that. It's because I felt like I don't want to be loved because if I'm loved, the person who loves me ‒ there's a big feeling of responsibility for their life is the actual cause. You may find that flipside type of emotions inside of you quite often.

Participant Female: I think that's exactly what I've got. When my kids tell me they love me, I feel very uncomfortable. The other day, you were just saying that the words that you say are important, the other day, when my daughter came up to me and said "I love you, mum," before I could even think about it, I said, "No, you don't." And then, of course the older child, said to me, "That was a very awful thing to say, and feel sort of good about it.” So I can see what you're saying about feeling fearful or feeling responsible for people that love you. And what do you do with that?

Jesus: Yes. So you need to go into that emotion. So, you know that feeling, "No, you don't love me." Feel that ‒ like feel what it feels like to not be loved. And then ask yourself, "Why don't I want to be loved?" Just ask yourself that question.

Participant Female: Like I said, it's that weight of that responsibility. If they love me, I feel responsible for them.

Jesus: So what do you feel will happen if they love you? Ask yourself that. What's going to happen when they love you?

Mary: Why is it a weight?

Participant Female: I don't know but I think I killed my husband with this one. Just that it's a big responsibility. To feel that somebody's happiness depends on you.

Jesus: No, see, that's the intellect now working. What's the emotion? What's going to happen if they love you? What's going to happen?

Participant Female: If you're not good enough ...

Jesus: Now you're starting to get there, emotionally.

Participant Female: You're not worthy of their love.

Jesus: You're not worthy of their love. So now you're starting to get a bit deeper. So keep going deeper than that.

Participant Female: Here and now?

Jesus: If you want to, here and now, you're connecting to it, Karen. You might as well do it.

Participant Female: So often I draw a blank from that, I try to get past it ...

Jesus: Yes, because you go into this place emotionally of tuning away from your sadness, so you've taught yourself a lot to get away from causal sadness. You were just about there. You were just like, if you can think of the gap between where you are and the emotion, and you were like "that" close just then.

Participant Female: Couldn't you do it for me? (Laughter)

Jesus: No, you need to learn to do it yourself but you were just that far away from actually feeling a causal emotion. If you follow that chain of thought down now, in privacy, when you go home or whatever, when you follow that chain of thought back down, like you did just now with us, you'll get to the causal emotion. Your daughter, who's a good trigger, she's just reflecting back to you. She saying, "I love you mum" is just a reflection back at you of triggering some of these emotions.

Mary: I think Karen just said, "I think I killed my husband with this one," that's pretty big. Like there's something under that.

Participant Female: He was killed and I just felt that five people now I have to be responsible for the happiness of, rather than six people.

Jesus: You need to go along with that thought. Allow yourself to follow that thought down into your emotions. It will help you a lot, accessing childhood things about love. You're pretty close to it, Karen, very close.

15.2. How children process emotions

Participant Male: My question is like whenever you say "allow", I have a real difficulty with that, because I feel like, "Where's my control?" with releasing an emotion. Because I feel like I have no control. And I have sat with it for hours before just sitting there, dealing with something like that, and nothing happens. I've found the last couple of months of my life have been quite depressed, getting stuck here, and feeling it's not moving, or there's no information to be learned. And what do you do about that?

Jesus: Okay, what's happening inside of yourself is there is a blockage blocking the free flow of emotion. If we look at how a child processes emotion and this is one of the subjects we want to talk about; how we can learn from children.

One way the child processes emotion, is it just involves itself in its life, just runs around, usually totally out of control, we think as adults, which is how we need to be really. We run around doing all these different things, and what happens is some event, a Law of Attraction event, triggers an emotion, triggers something happening to the child. What the child then does is what, what does it do? It just goes straight into the emotion, doesn't it? Doesn't think about it, doesn't have to decide what the emotion is about, and a lot of times it doesn't even know what the emotion is.

So if something comes along and bops it in the nose, generally, it will either go into a rage-based emotion or just fall down on the floor and have a big cry; one of those two emotions. It just experiences it, there and then.

15.3. Working through blockages to causal emotion

Jesus: Now, that being the case, if that doesn't happen inside of myself, it can only be because of a block. Sometimes when we feel stuck, what we need to do is start asking ourselves questions about blocks. What is the block? What is the fear that I have about emotion?

One of the fears in your question is already mentioned ... you have a fear of control, or being out of control, in fact. That's one of the fears. You're afraid that if you do feel your causal emotion to its core, that you'll be out of control and that's a very, very big block to allowing the emotion to flow. Rather than addressing the emotion, allow yourself to actually pray about, and ponder about the blockage, which is the desire to control, the desire to control the process. Ask yourself questions like, "Why do I want to control the process? What's going to happen to me? What am I afraid of if I don't control this process?" Ask yourself those questions.

Participant Male: I don't know if anyone else has this, but from past spiritual practices, and having a way of (and I don't know if anyone has gotten into this) becoming consciousness and just sort of merging with life and being in this blissful state. I've got this fear that I've found that a way of being, that I would never be able to be real and it's me and my fears will come up.

Jesus: And this is where you need to go; you need to talk about this, write about it.

Participant Male: I'm afraid of it now. It’s like being hit on the back of the head. How do I get to the next step?

Jesus: You acknowledge your fears. You actually allow yourself to feel your fear that it's never going to be how you thought it would be. Allow yourself to feel your fear about how you've got yourself into this sort of quasi ‒ what would you call it, "at-one with the Universe," state, that doesn't feel good inside. And allow yourself to feel your fear about what it's going to really feel like when you do it for real. Allow yourself to feel your fears about all those things.

See a child rarely has blockages. So, this is why looking at children to deal with emotions is really good. For example, little Jeremy coming in here. He's happy being down in the front here, cutting up his paper and everything, every one of you seeing him, walk past, walk past, he doesn't care, does he? He's not worried about "What are they going to think of me now. They must think I'm stupid." None of those thoughts go through his mind, do they? He's just going on through here, out and through and out. We could learn a lot from that.

What we do is we add a heap of suppression on top of that. So what we now think is, "Oh, I can't do what Jeremy is doing because I'll get in trouble, or I'll get this or I'll get that. I'll get projections from people, or people won't like me anymore. We get all those and they're what I call the blockages and the hardest part of this path, that I'm explaining to you, is the blockages. It's a terrible, terrible tortuous road of working through blockages.

Once you've released the blockages, you'll find the emotion will just pop up. You'll just be walking along in a day, having a normal interaction and all of a sudden, "Bam!" you're into the emotion. And you'll say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will happen quite often, the more blockages you release.

One of the blockages you've got is this blockage of control, wanting to keep everything in control. Another blockage is this blockage of spirituality. What appears spiritual and what isn't? And things like that. So you've already mentioned quite a number of your blockages in our discussion. Allow yourself to note them down and pray about them now. Allow yourself to feel them, where they came from. And when you release these blockages ‒ and some of them will be released emotionally ‒ what's underneath the block will automatically just flow out of you and you won't have to access it. It will just come like a child. The blocks are the hardest thing.

15.4. An example of Mary working through blockages

Jesus: (To Mary) Do you want to say something?

Mary: No, I just feel it's a good time to go into what we can learn from children.

Jesus: Well I thought it would be good to talk about how you feel blocked sometimes.

Mary: Oh, okay. I feel blocked a lot. And I do agree it's the hardest thing ‒ recognising and feeling the blocks. Last week I had a couple of hours where I was almost hyperventilating, just being in fear, and trying to stay in fear because it's really been blocking me for a long time. (To AJ) Were you thinking of something in particular?

Jesus: Well I was thinking of, over the last year, like there have been lots of different ... like Mary has been a person who's always been relatively connected with her emotions. All through her life, she's had sort of an average upbringing where there are blockages and also love given to her, but Mary herself is a very emotional person. When it came to a year ago, when she met me ...

Mary: I stopped feeling emotions, because I was very afraid. So I’ve worked through heaps of blocks about loss of control, identity, ridicule, what's my life going to mean, am I giving my power away, and lots of things I just had to talk about for a long time. Some things I released emotionally, some I just had realisations of truth. Some kind of got released when I connected with God a bit more.

Jesus: So, that whole period of time of just about a year, Mary was dealing with blockages, but feeling very, very frustrated connecting with emotions.

Mary: I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I was like "What is wrong with me"? I used to cry at TV ads, and now I can't cry. And I really thought, and it took almost a year for me to properly connect with causal emotion. And I can recognise now that that's because my causal emotions mean a lot about my identity, so that was a huge block. But now that I sort of broke through a barrier or something, I still get blocked, but it's not the same ... it's not this frozen-up feeling of "Oh, I can't." I used to say to AJ, "Find the button on me that is the tears because I can't do tears anymore, there must be a place." But now it just sort of comes a lot freer. And rawer, and even processing the fear, like instead of just living in the fear, I actually felt it, like it was a physical process.

Jesus: So, you see how she had this, and I've seen this happen. This happened in myself, and every other person I've actually met. I've met very few people who've been able to get straightaway into their emotion. Most of the time they've had a year of blockages to undo, and then they start getting into some causal emotion. Because once the blockages aren't there, you're becoming more and more like a child, once the blockages are gone, and then the emotion just pops up. And so, I've felt a change in Mary when she went from finding every emotion very difficult, to actually desiring every emotion. And there was this switch that happened; only maybe, six to eight weeks ago, where she made a switch from still trying to fight every emotion, control every emotion, into actually now desiring every emotion.

Perhaps using the word "allow" really isn't the right word. Perhaps the right word is really "desire" ‒ to actually get to the point where you actually desire all your emotions. When you get to that point … that's about releasing all of these blockages that were piled on you from the moment you were born, or even the moment you were conceived onwards. It's about releasing those. When you release those, all of the emotions flow really quite rapidly after that.

Mary: And it's also about releasing judgment about emotion. Like before I would get so afraid about the emotion, "If I have this emotion, I'm a bad person. This is me; I am this emotion." And now it sort of feels more like a voyage of discovery. Like, "Oh, I’ve got that in me, oh, okay. Let's get that out." So it feels different.

Jesus: So instead of seeing everything like a pain, you see everything like a pleasure, like every new thing you discover about yourself feels good to discover, even if before you used to judge it as bad. So, it's like saying to yourself, "Oh, boy, I'm a sexual deviant, actually. Wow, I didn't know that about myself before." (Laughter) You know what I mean, "Let's deal with that." Rather than getting angry with every sexual deviant that comes into your path, and all that stuff, which is all the avoidance of it. Look at every discovery of yourself as a wonderful thing and things will start flowing as well.

15.5. Working through blockages to causal emotion (continued)

Jesus: (To the participant) You are dealing with your blocks. You're just feeling like the causal isn't happening, so you're feeling quite despondent. You don't need to be that despondent.

Of course, if there's an emotion under it, then go through that, but you need to see that you're actually progressing. There is far less resistance in you then there was before. You’ve got rid of the blockage about God, "Is there really a God?" You know, "Am I willing to experiment with that?" You've gotten rid of a blockage about, "Should I try to do something that might not work in the end?” fear of that. So there are quite a few blockages that are all childhood blockages that you've already got rid of, that you can feel are gone. So, you are progressing, it's just that that causal emotion will flow when more of those blockages get released.

I know a lot of you have probably had that question that's why I spent a bit of time on that. Is that understandable to everyone, what's going on there?

Participant Female: Yeah, at this time I can totally relate to what Jeremy is saying. I felt like I was blocked a lot before than I do now. And I just feel, I know that I'm blocked, but also my Law of Attraction has helped heal me so ...

Jesus: That's a good sign actually.

15.5.1. Surrendering to God

Participant Female: And I'm just wondering, are you talking about surrender to God, is that a good place to start?

Jesus: A very good place to start in fact, that was where Mary's turning point was, and it was certainly my turning point as well. When you completely surrender to God and surrender to your emotions as well in that process, you'll find your Law of Attraction will just ramp up, because there is a soul desire now for you to experience emotion. If you just allow yourself to experience everything that comes along, you'll be able to get rid of things very, very rapidly but it's very much about your connection with God.

15.5.2. Feeling depressed and despondent

Participant Female: It's just ... even though I can still feel the emotion, I feel blocked and often …

Jesus: That's making you feel pretty afraid. How bad is it going to have to be before I unblock?

Participant Female: And very frustrating, and also for the first time in a very long time, I'm having a feeling of depression.

Jesus: Yes, and this is why most people stop at this point, see most people would stop at this point. They feel themselves getting depressed and they feel themselves becoming afraid, and they say, "Look, what AJ is teaching me is just ruining my life.” And a lot of people feel that and I think I've mentioned that a lot of people feel that before.

But what's actually happening is you're getting closer and closer to the point of surrender. Getting to that point means getting rid of all of your fear about surrender, means getting rid of all your anger and frustration about surrender, getting rid of all of your anger and frustration about your Law of Attraction, and a lot of things like that and they are all emotions still.

Understand you are actually working through emotions, but they're just blockage emotions that you're working through. And that's okay. When you get into depression, that's coming from the desire within you to try to stop the process. The key is to not try to stop the process so much. Just allow the process to continue.

These are all emotion: frustration is an emotion, it's a capping emotion and you need to feel that; anger is a capping emotion and you need to feel that. When you let yourself feel it fully, if you get into a rage with God, you're allowed to be in a rage with God. Get into a rage with God, express it towards God and you'll find that you'll release some stuff there, there'll be a connection that happens afterwards. So allow yourself to go through those experiences. Realise that you are progressing, you're not stagnant.

Many of you are feeling you're stagnant and what I'm seeing is that you're not and the reason why you're feeling stagnant is because you are actually dealing with capping emotions, which must be dealt with. You have to deal with these capping emotions; they have to be dealt with. But causal emotion doesn't get released in dealing with them and so the Law of Attraction doesn't change, so you feel like you're stagnant. The capping emotions are very essential emotions to work your way through too. So it's very important.

15.6. An example of a participant who creates childhood fantasies

Participant Female: I actually have an ability to make up some areas in my childhood that didn't happen, and when I say to family members that it happened, and my sister said "No, that didn't actually happen." And I've got blanks in my childhood. And obviously it's a big blockage. But how do I actually work through that when your childhood memory is a fantasy.

Jesus: A child ... or an adult ... only creates a fantasy because they don't want to face reality.

Participant Female: So I need to work through those emotions and ask ...

Jesus: You need to ask yourself why are you creating fantasies? What are you afraid of? It will be about some major fears that you have about the reality of your childhood. What happens with a lot of children, and it's a very clever thing we do as a child, to get away from emotion, what we do is we create an altered reality in our own mind. We then live in that reality. This often happens in abusive families, and abusive childhoods but it also can happen in other childhoods where we feel like we're not having as good a life as the other children around us are having. So then we create these realities so that we can feel like we've lived as full a life as the next child.

There are quite a lot of different emotions that drive us creating fantasies from our childhood. Allow yourself to feel about what some of those emotions may be. The second one I think applies with you, doesn't it? Where you feel that as a child, you didn't have as interesting a life as many other children have had, and then you wanted to create some fantasies so it becomes more interesting then. It's okay to see the truth in yourself.

15.7. An example of a participant who feelings guilty for being a bad parent

Participant Female: Everyone has sort of touched on everything I wanted to ask as well, but I just want to add to it. I just feel really blocked in guilt about being a parent. And I feel like I've been guilty for my son's whole thirteen years. And he's a victim at the moment.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: I feel like I put everything onto him that's my stuff, which I probably have. And it's really showing with the Law of Attraction I can't really handle at the moment.

Jesus: He's quite angry with you.

Participant Female: Yes. And it's shown me that, and I've known slightly, that it's my own. I've just realised I just got this dread about it.

Jesus: For most of us, guilt is not a causal emotion and what I mean by that is guilt is usually a created emotion, usually from our own life or from the lives of our parents dumping guilt on us. Now the key thing with guilt, guilt is driven by fear, in every single case, so ask yourself what are you afraid of. What are the fears that you have? Why do you feel so guilty? Can you answer any of those questions? You feel guilty that, with your child, you've done damage to your child. That's the feeling of guilt that you have. So why do you feel that?

Participant Female: I just want to be a good parent, and do the best that I can for him.

Jesus: Okay, so you actually feel you're a bad parent.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Okay. Now why would you feel like you're a bad parent, do you think?

Participant Female: I don't know because part of me knows that I'm not.

Jesus: Don't go there because that's going to skip over. So you feel you're a bad parent. You want to feel that you're a good parent. But, you feel you're a bad parent. And that's why you feel guilty. How many of you feel like you've been a bad parent? How many of you still feel guilty about that? Quite a lot. I was just processing guilt about it a day ago. Yes, so this is a common emotion. What's underneath the guilt? What do you think is underneath the guilt? You feel like you've been a bad parent. Do you cry about it? Every day?

Participant Female: I feel like I'm crying, I feel like I've been crying all along.

Jesus: Okay so you are actually crying about being a bad parent, aren't you? Okay, but it's not releasing anything? So it can't be a causal emotion.

Participant Female: I feel like I've been stuck in this, before I even knew that's what crying meant.

Jesus: Stuck in a cycle.

Participant Female: For a long time. I feel like I'm just revisiting, but this guilt has been there, as a parent at times.

Jesus: What will happen if you stop being a good parent?

Participant Female: I feel guilty.

Jesus: No, no. What would be the feelings other than guilt that you have? So let's say right today, you stop being a "good parent" and your son started really yelling at you and what emotion would you feel besides guilt? Are there any other emotions you would feel?

Participant Female: Hurt.

Jesus: Hurt. What about?

Participant Female: Him yelling at me.

Jesus: And now we're starting to get to your causal emotion, believe it or not. Why do you do things for your son when he yells at you? His yelling at you is your Law of Attraction. So he's yelling at you ‒ he yells at you to control you and the best way anybody can be controlled is to make them feel guilty, so your son constantly makes you feel guilty. Now, sometimes he doesn't choose to make it, but now, he's thirteen, and he's now starting to choose to make you feel guilty. He knows that he can manipulate you with guilt.

Participant Female: And I'm feeling really guilty right now thinking that he can hear all of this …

Jesus: That's okay, that's okay. Just keep feeling guilty, that's fine. (Laughter) Let's get deeper than the guilt though. So, he's learned now that he can manipulate you with anger. You taught him this, actually.

Participant Female: Yes. I know that.

Jesus: So, what are you afraid of from men? He's a male and he's manipulating you with anger. Can you see any pattern in this?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: What's the pattern? With your dad?

Participant Female: Getting yelled at.

Jesus: Getting yelled at all the time with your dad.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: And what did you feel you had to do when you got yelled at all the time with your dad? Didn't you feel like you had to do exactly what your dad said?

Participant Female: I had to be a good girl.

Jesus: You had to be a good girl?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You have to be a good mum, does that sound familiar?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: You have to be a good girl; you have to be a good mum. Can you see the pattern of what's going on? So this issue is actually about your dad yelling at you all the time to control you, and you feeling that the only way you could earn love was to actually do what the person yelling at you wanted you to do and that's what your guilt is covering. Your guilt is covering that sadness.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So the guilt is just a capping emotion covering this deep sadness that you feel, grief that you feel, about having to do what dad wanted when he yelled at you and if you get into that, your Law of Attraction will change with your son.

15.7.1. Being repentant rather than feeling guilty

Mary: I think that there’s a difference with feeling guilty and self-punishing about our actions that may have caused soul damage to our children, or someone else is a very static place, we just beat ourselves up, and feel really terrible, and "Oh, we've done something wrong." Where in actual fact, the more freeing thing … there will be some Law of Compensation as we open our soul emotionally, we'll feel and release that. But to get underneath it ... I'm not sure I'm explaining it very well.

Jesus: Remember, the Law of Compensation is the result of you taking actions that are disharmonious with love, and having a penalty upon your own soul, and then there's a Law of Compensation effect. And remember I've also talked to you about how repentance is the way past the Law of Compensation; when you feel deep feelings of sorrow in yourself for doing something that was actually wrong in God's eyes and you've recognised it, then God's Love and God's Grace can come and you'll feel the change in you about that issue, you'll no longer cry about it. Now that's what I would call a feeling of repentance. And the feeling of repentance is totally different from a feeling of guilt.

Guilt is often imagined, and guilt is often created by childhood events. So what's happening with yourself, for example, is you're in this cycle of guilt and you can't get out of guilt. Guilt is a fear, and so it's in this cycle of fear, really, and you can't get out of it. That is not the same as the Law of Compensation and that is not the same as repentance because true repentance results in immediate cleansing, or immediate response from God. True repentance actually causes an immediate action upon the soul from God's Love entering it. So therefore, you won't cycle over guilt, over and over and over again.

15.7.2. Guilt covers deeper emotions

Jesus: Guilt is something that covers a deeper emotion and it usually is a deeper emotion we don't want to feel. And, in your case, the emotion you don't want to feel is the emotion of how unloved you've been from your father. Instead of feeling that emotion, which is going to have a lot of different parts to it when you feel them, instead of feeling that emotion you prefer guilt, because guilt means you don't have to feel that emotion. Guilt means you can try harder to not feel that emotion.

Participant Female: The reason why I cover it is because he was beautiful, and I had really put up with it, and I don't want to ... I feel guilty every time I think of that man.

Jesus: You mean you dad was beautiful?

15.8. Facing the truth about our parents' unloving behaviour towards us

Participant Female: Yes, even though he yelled at me. Even though he yelled at me, every time I get to that point, I feel guilty for thinking that he'd done something wrong to me.

Jesus: Well, the truth is he did do something wrong to you and the truth is he wasn't beautiful. Now, I know that sounded quite blunt but a parent who is yelling at a child constantly to control them is a very unloving parent. Now they may think they're loving, and they may look beautiful, but there are some major issues in a parent doing that to a child. So, that is not loving and that is not beautiful and you don't want to face that. You don't want to say that to yourself, because if you say that to yourself, all of these emotions would be unlocked inside of you that you don't want to feel.

A very good book to read, as parents, but also with children to read, is called "Toxic Parents". Do you remember, James, who is it by? You'll be able to find it on the net. It's called "Toxic Parents: Healing the Shame of Childhood Trauma", or something like that. We'll bring the title along tomorrow with us. But that book was written I think in the sixties or seventies by a woman who is very bluntly truthful. It's a really good book to read because what it does is it exposes a lot of our false beliefs about parents being good or bad, and what actually is unloving behaviour to a child and that's why it's such a good book to read. It's a very confronting book if you have got sexual abuse issues or violent abuse issues in the family, you'll find it quite confronting. It's a very good book to read. What it does is it exposes the emotions behind why parents do things, and tries to break the definition of whether mum has been good or bad, and get down to it at an emotional level.

So many of you want to hold on to a belief that your parents were good. The reason why you want to hold on to that belief is because, inside of you, you have some emotions that will be unlocked if you no longer believe that. Do you see what I'm saying? So the addiction is "I want to believe mum and dad were good. I want to believe mum and dad were loving. I want to believe mum and dad were fantastic with me. I want to believe they did everything they could. I want to believe ..." And the reason why we want to believe all of those things, is because underneath all of that is a lot of hurt that we felt when we were children that, if we don't believe those so-called truths that we've written in our mind, we will then start feeling these emotions. And if we do that, then we feel out of control. So we go into control, wanting to believe things about our parents that are not true.

It's okay to say, "My parent was abusive to me. My parent yelled at me." They might have stopped doing it. They might even be a great person now and they may even be sorry about it now, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened and I need to connect to that emotion.

15.8.1. Accessing emotions immediately when they arise

Participant Male: I just want to confirm what you said, AJ ‒ it happened to me. I got treated horribly, before lunchtime I ended up in the car in a ball, because I actually acknowledged how toxic my father would be to me. So I wanted to confirm it right now, thank you.

Jesus: That's awesome and that's the beauty. Many of you are now starting to get into this process of, as soon as you're triggered, go into processing the emotion. That's really, really good. That's a very powerful thing for you to do and quite a number of you now start doing that quite regularly. Just allow it, if you do that then you'll find that you won't have to try to access it later. It's a really frustrating process, because when it was right there, you could have dealt with it then, and then you de-tuned yourself and then, can you get back to it again? No, there has to be another trigger sometime down the track to get back to it. So that's a really good process.

Again if you look at what you learn from a child with that. A child does not wait to deal with their emotion. A child often has more self-love than we do. So, here we are thinking we're teaching our child self-love. In reality, our child is teaching us self-love because our child has self-love enough to actually feel its emotion the instant it's created. And that's where we need to be in that same space.

15.8.2. Feeling to blame for our parents' treatment of us

Participant Female: What you said before, that your mother and father weren't as good as you thought they were, and the thought came into my head that maybe I'm blaming myself, because I wasn't good enough, as the child. It's my fault that they weren't nice to me.

Jesus: Exactly, yes this is a core emotion in most children, that when somebody treats them badly, they think it's their fault and if you allow yourself to go down this track emotionally, you will actually find there's a lot of really good core emotions that you can release going down that track. The truth is that it's not your fault. There have been many times when I've been travelling overseas, dealing with different people, that the instant I've told them it's not their fault, they've burst out crying and dealt with something. But up until then, they've argued that it was their fault, constantly, or they'll blame themselves constantly. Many of your emotions are locked up because you believe it was your fault, when in reality it wasn't ‒ it was created by someone outside of you.

15.9. An example of a participant jumping from one emotion to another

Participant Female: This is just a general question that I found myself feeling that when I start something like parenting. I feel bad about my daughter, but then I'll go straight into "Well my mother was really terrible to me." And then I'll seek God's help, but then God, "I really am spiritual, but I'm not really, because ..." I went down a line, and I trusted

it, and I'm really angry. And then I'll go to God, "But I don't really believe in you, God." And then I'm going through these emotions and I'm finding myself each time at something, it will all connect up because then I'll say, "You're obviously not worthy," and then you'll go to ... and it's just like this whole mash of emotions, and I don't know how to take one, or any of it, to go in further. It hits me at any time, I'll just go and connect to another one and another one, and I can feel all of it, but none of it.

Jesus: Certainly, how many of you have felt that? Quite a lot. So that's really good that you bring up the question. The issue is that when we jump from one to another to another, it's because we don't want to experience the one that we're on. Let's say an emotion comes up firstly, "Oh I'm being a bad parent." Then all of a sudden, I jump to "Oh, I hate God." Then all of a sudden, I jump to other emotions. What's actually happening is I'm trying to get away from the previous one all the time. That's why another one comes up. But there's a soul longing that you want to deal with your emotions.

The best thing I've found for that myself is that I allow whatever is triggered at that moment to be experienced in full. As soon as some other interruption comes, even from my own mind, I always bring myself back to the same thing that I did right at the start. So, I don't even go to the second discussion.

The first one to come up today this morning was ... whatever it was. So I might have had a dream this morning, and the first thing to come up this morning was I woke up and I was in fear. What was I afraid of? The dream was about the other day, I had this piece of skin that had just come off the back of my head, and I pulled it right off, and it was hard as a rock, and I could hang it in front of myself. Then I dropped it and then I went and grabbed another piece of skin off the back of my head and pulled it all out, and then I woke up really freaked out from this dream. And I allowed myself to feel about it and just get that straightened out.

Now, lots of other things could have happened during the day after this, but that was the thing that came up, so that's what I am going to deal with right now and keep my focus on it. If I don't keep my focus on it, then there's a reason why and the reason why is I don't want to. If I don't want to, then I need to be honest. I don't want to deal with that.

If you don't be honest, you're going to jump from one to the other. Just say, like, the issue is, "I'm a bad parent," if we bring up that previous issue, or, "I feel guilty all the time," or that's the issue. If I jump from that issue to another issue, it's because I don't want to deal with that first issue.

So don't deal with the second one, just go back to the first one, and say, "I don't want to deal with that issue." And then when the second one comes up, and, "No, the second one is there because I just don't want to deal with the first issue." You just keep reminding yourself, "That's there because I don't want to deal with that issue. That's there because I don't want to deal with that issue."

What will happen is I'm allowed to not deal with that issue, and as you start feeling that, ironically, you'll start connecting to the issue generally. It's acknowledging that you don't want to, that will enable you to stay on one place. At the moment you're not acknowledging that you don't want to deal with that, so you go on to the next one, and then the next one, and then the next one. Then you end up with this whole intellectually confused mess, and then you think, "What the heck I can't deal with anything now, I might as well go have a cup of tea." (Laughter)

I'm thinking that we probably won't add anymore to this session, so we'll finish off there for the moment.

Parenting Children S2P1

1. Introduction

Jesus: Thanks for rocking up again today, for those of you who came yesterday and for those of you who didn't, thanks for coming today. Today what we were going to do is have a bit more of an informal session than yesterday. We wanted to involve all both the young children and the teenagers, and even those of you who are adults with parents, working through issues. So what we wanted to do is to be able to talk with you about those kinds of things, and what we can apply from yesterday, I suppose you could say, in terms of our personal lives and working through emotions.

What I'd like to encourage you to do is to just be really open and speak up and say whatever you want today. That's probably what we'll try to do as well. We've got a very open session today, which means we haven't planned anything. This is going to be something that we wanted to do, just to give you the opportunity to work through any issues.

Now the first thing we'd like to do is ask any of the young persons with us whether they want to come up and talk with us about mum and dad. That's one of the things we'd like to do and we'll talk about some of the issues then relating to the parents as well, and also for the child, if that's what they want.

Now what we'll probably have to do is get you to warm a bit. So who has some issues they would definitely like to raise, but they're shy? Okay, so quite a few. Do you want to come up and share one?

2. An interview with a child, Soul, whose father has left home

Participant Son: Well ...

Jesus: You come up with us here.

Mary: Can you tell us your name?

Participant Son: Soul. I have an issue with my dad, because he left when I was about six, and he's never been there for me. (Crying)

Jesus: And how do you feel about that?

Participant Son: Well, not wanting me?

Jesus: It feels like dad doesn't want you.

Participant Son: Yes.

Jesus: And do you feel like you were to blame for it, somehow, too?

Participant Son: Not really.

Jesus: But you don't really understand why dad left? So what would you like to do?

Participant Son: I don't know. (Laughing)

Jesus: Would you like to get over that emotion, so that you can be happy?

Participant Son: Yes.

Jesus: So have you done some crying about it in the past?

Participant Son: Not really, I didn’t feel like it.

Jesus: But it's interesting you're crying now.

Participant Son: Yes.

Jesus: That's really good. What do you feel was wrong with dad? What do you feel?

Participant Son: Well, he just ... I don't know.

Jesus: Just doesn't show any interest in you?

Participant Son: Well, he does but he doesn't make any effort.

Jesus: Oh, right. You're allowed to keep crying. It's okay to cry. You're allowed to keep crying.

Participant Son: That's about it.

Jesus: That's about what you want to talk about. Okay. Well let's see what we can do now. Now does mum want to talk about the issue as well?

Mary: Thank you, Soul, you were very brave.

Jesus: Yes, that's very brave, Soul.

3. An interview with Soul's mother, Neena

Jesus: Do you want to just mention a few things about that, as well, what you feel about that? You can come up here and do that.

Participant Mother: I don't really know what I was going to say; I'm shaking about it, and connecting to it. Actually, what I've come to understand is for people who sort of get up several presentations ago, you connected me to the fact that I was afraid of my father. That was a shock to me, because in his later years he introduced me to spirituality but after I sat down, I remembered an incident, when I was a little girl where I was ... he was a big man, and I was picked up and given a belting. When I'm saying it, I am starting to feel that terror again now, which hasn't completely resolved itself and I was so terrified that I wet my pants, and I was sent to bed.

What I have seen since then is how that terror has attracted certain men into my life. The first situation was an abusive one, and I had a daughter to that man. Then I attracted another man, which is Soul's father, and he was exactly the opposite, in that he was in no way threatening to me, because he in no way connected to Soul or was involved in anything at all.

Jesus: So he’s sort of, almost unemotional about everything.

Participant Mother: Yes, he is, and I can sort of see how I attracted that into my life based on the terror.

Jesus: In Soul's case, obviously he's feeling a lot of grief. (To Soul) There's grief inside of you isn't there? There's sadness there. You're allowed to cry about it. Do you notice that when you cry, mummy gets upset? Have you seen that happen before, when you've cried, or not?

Participant Son: Not really.

Jesus: Not really?

Participant Son: I don't cry much.

Jesus: You don't cry much. Do you know why you don't cry? Is it because you worry about what mummy will feel?

Participant Son: No, not really.

Jesus: Are you worried about what it looks like to others?

Participant Son: Sometimes.

Jesus: So Soul's really sensitive emotionally. He's a beautiful person.

3.1. An illustration of the Soul shutting down his grief to appease Neena's fear

Jesus: There is a dynamic happening between you and him, and it's something that you need to be conscious of more than Soul at the moment. What Soul does is shut down his emotions so that you are not stressed and so you don't feel afraid, and it's because he's feeling your fear a lot. He's feeling how afraid you are and so he's become so sensitive to that that he automatically just shuts down his emotions. He doesn't even need to think about it, it's just an automatic thing for him.

The key thing for yourself is to actually allow yourself to start dealing with some of these fears with men in particular ‒ it's related to your dad, as you know ‒ and if you could allow yourself to deal with some of those issues you'll find that Soul will feel okay to just be himself. This feeling he has with his dad, that dad's unemotional, he'll be able to work through that feeling and grieve that feeling but at the moment he's not able to grieve it easily because you are afraid.

Participant Mother: I have been dealing with these things since that talk.

Jesus: That's good.

Participant Mother: And it's like, at one stage you said you wrote thirty-three pages listing your fears. I haven't written thirty-three pages, but it's like they keep popping up, I keep realising new things.

Jesus: The thing that will help Soul the most is for you to actually work through your fear with men. At the soul level what's going on, at the "Soul-soul" level (laughter), is that he's feeling you're afraid of men, really not even knowing that that's what's going on, but he knows it in this heart, and so then he's automatically being conciliatory to you so that he can somehow alleviate your fear.

Participant Mother: It's really interesting because I find him so compatible, he's just been a totally trouble-free child and I was thinking yesterday, well I know it's not me that he is like that, it's not because even of my emotions that he's such a trouble-free child so it’s interesting that you are saying that.

Jesus: He's very sensitive and because of that he can feel every emotion and nuance of what's happening inside of you. He's learned over the years to know where mum is, he knows your emotions better than you know your own emotions, right at the moment. He's feeling it and automatically doing something to adjust to it. For that reason, and because one way that Soul's been operating up till now is this feeling that if he does that, he'll feel love as well.

Participant Mother: I connected to that somewhat yesterday as well.

Jesus: Because the issue with dad obviously is that he doesn't feel loved, so he's looking for love, constantly from at least one of the parents. So the key thing for you to do is if you can own a lot of that emotion in you towards men that you have there, what will happen is Soul won't feel drawn into those transactions constantly. He'll still be a gentle man, like he is, but he won't feel like locked up in his own emotions. (To Soul) That's how, Soul, you're feeling at times like that. I can feel that in you but sometimes you don't feel you can say exactly what you want in your life, and exactly how you feel. You're doing pretty good, though. (To Mary) He's so beautiful.

(To Soul's mum) So can you see how it relates to yourself, and what's going on there? The relationship with his father, the way that you can assist that ‒ even though his father is not showing interest in him ‒ the important thing is for him to understand that it's not to do with anything he's done or not done. It's all to do with the dad, at least dad's choices, and his dad is unemotional, and his dad not being connected. But at the moment there's almost this automatic feeling in Soul that it is based around his choices because he's so used to doing exactly what earns love.

Participant Mother: Soul's feeling that?

Jesus: Soul feels so sensitive to everyone's emotions, that he's automatically doing exactly what he needs to do to earn love from them and that means, the way to stop that from occurring for yourself is to actually own your own emotions so that he doesn't have to feel them, and then respond to them. That's really important.

4. Working through fear

Participant Mother: I'm still often, in that time, I wake up and there's fear. I'm having trouble getting under it.

Jesus: Under the fear? How many of you have noticed that you've got fear inside of you, and are really having trouble getting underneath? There's quite a lot in the audience who have the same problem. Remember that fear is a "false expectation appearing real" to you. Whenever you have trouble with fear, the first thing you need to do is start allowing yourself to acknowledge what they are.

For a lot of people, what they do is they live in this constant state of switching from one fear to the next fear to the next fear, but never really acknowledging it. What I've done with mine first is just made a fear list, and wrote down all of my fears and whenever Mary and I have a discussion together, when Mary is having trouble with emotion or I am, we first look at our fears, in terms of what's happening with our fears.

Then once we've identified the fears, the next thing that we do is acknowledge them. The way you acknowledge them is tell yourself, "The reason why I'm doing this is because I'm afraid." So, whatever the situation is.

An example in my life is I might automatically try to do what a woman wants. I might automatically in the past try to do exactly what a woman wanted me to do ‒ as far as I was able to ‒ because I was afraid of their angry projections; because every time there's a projection of anger, I felt that as no love, and I was afraid of that. So I had to write that down as a fear. Then what I would do is notice every time I was interacting with a person, a woman, I would ask myself, "Am I doing this out of love or am I doing this out of fear?"

The second thing to do, though, is to allow yourself to actually drop, and actually feel the fear itself physically. You know when a child feels fear, it starts shaking? You've seen an animal feel fear as well ‒ like if a dog's being punished, for example, it will often, particularly if it's a pup, get into this really strong fear state. What it will do is it will start shaking and trembling and everything inside.

What often happens is that we feel that emotion inside of us, but we don't allow the physical expression of the emotion itself. Once you've actually acknowledged your fears, allow your body to start responding to the fear as it feels inside because if you don't allow that, then the fear will remain inside. Now once you start doing that, whatever is under the fear will also start being touched on.

4.1. An example of a participant releasing some fear

Mary: I think Karen had a good experience of actually doing this recently, didn't you? Waking up in the night and feeling quite afraid, and you took yourself away and do you want to talk about it?

Participant Female: Sure. I have trouble sleeping ‒ that's a pattern, I don't want to sleep. So a few times in the night I could feel this energy building, and I couldn't sleep and it was very uncomfortable. So my method now is I grab my pillow and a blanket and go to the kitchen and curl up on the floor, so I don't disturb Sven, and just let it happen, whatever is bubbling up in me. And the other night, it happened, and I did that and I found out if I keep the lights out it's very helpful. Don't eat anything, don't do anything, just get and stay in the dark and stay curled up.

Let the tears come and usually I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know what's happening, I just feel like crying and so I'll just let it cry and let it flow as it does, and then I usually will be able to identify, I get into wanting to identify what's happening, and where did that come from, why did that happen. Sometimes something comes to me, sometimes it doesn't and I just let it keep going.

But the other night, I actually got in touch with a really deep core fear. My belief is it came during the womb, and I remember when you worked with me one on one ages ago, because you said I was swimming in grief, and you said underneath that was a terror, well I got in touch with that the other night. When I was born, everything was normal, but my mother said I cried nonstop for nine months and she held me constantly and held me and nursed me all day long and then I suddenly stopped.

I believe it was because my mother was in fear during the pregnancy, I talked with her about it. She said she was a young mum with a toddler, a mentally ill husband, and she was pregnant. She didn't know where the next meal was coming from. So she was in a lot of fear and I just think I picked up that plus a zillion other things.

Jesus: The way you worked through it the other night was you allowed yourself to experience it. So when you experienced it, by the time you finished experiencing it, did you feel a sort of calmness?

Participant Female: Oh, I felt heaps better. Also, I was in sadness first, I think, then I went into the fear, the terror and I thought, "Why am I crying? I'm still crying." But I'm feeling this terror and I thought well, a baby, that's all a baby can do, really, is cry once it comes out and I thought well if I was in terror in the womb what would I be doing? And I thought well I would probably contract, be contracting, and ...

4.1.1. Allowing the emotion rather than analysing it intellectually

Jesus: Can I ask you though why you were thinking so much?

Participant Female: Because I'm mental. (Laughter) Really mental, because I grew up that way.

Jesus: Well, it would actually be more powerful if you can just stay in the feeling without trying to work out what it's about.

Participant Female: Okay, so it's not helpful to identify ...

Jesus: You don't need to identify, because remember this is all about releasing the emotions. As long as there's a feeling of calmness that comes afterwards, then you've released something and that's all that you really need to worry about. You don't need to know what it was about even.

Participant Female: I felt calmness and I felt as complete as I could get and so I went back to bed and fell asleep.

Jesus: You fell asleep straightaway and you've been having lots of trouble sleeping.

Participant Female: Yes so now I think, okay, if I'm getting those feelings, go to the kitchen and clear something, and then go back to bed.

Jesus: Good on you. Now one of the other things, obviously, the reason why you're separating yourself from Sven and going into the kitchen, there is a very good reason for that and that is when we're with another person and we have terror inside of ourselves, just being with another person actually gets us out of the terror. If that person, particularly if that person wants to calm us, which obviously Sven has probably done quite a lot in his life as your partner. So the important thing there is when you withdraw there, that allows you to just feel the emotion without actually having that to be considered as part of the transaction, so you can actually get into that childhood state.

Participant Female: Absolutely. Now in the past when I couldn't sleep, either Sven would give me a treatment, and that would help me sleep or I would get up and read or I would eat or both or do something. Until I was exhausted and then I would go to bed but this is much better because I know the reason for it.

Jesus: So you're releasing some of that causal emotion each time you do now I think you'll find you'll probably have a good sleep after ...

Participant Female: Yes. It's going to get better.

Jesus: That's good. That's awesome.

5. An interview with a Soul's mother, Neena (continued)

Jesus: Getting back to the issue with fear, the important thing obviously is to allow yourself to do what a child would do. Allow yourself to do that process of actually going into that child-like state of fear because it's the child-like state of fear that will help you connect with the fear itself, and release it.

(To Participant Mother) It's certainly about your relationship with your dad, and with men since then and what you've attracted, but if you allow yourself to connect to it, what that will do is you'll be owning your fear then, it won't be being projected. That will mean that it's a lot easier for Soul to actually just feel his own emotions all the time rather than feel something he'll always want to try and make better for you.

Soul will actually find himself at some point maybe feeling a bit upset and angry with you at times during this process. The reason why is because when we've done so much for somebody else, and then the person doesn't need that happening anymore, we start worrying ourselves whether we're not going to be loved anymore, and things like that. So that there will be some feelings that you'll probably go through, and the key is to allow them, allow yourself to go through them. Thanks, Soul, for being brave. Anyone else would like to come up and talk about some stuff.

By the way everyone that comes up is going to get star. (Laughter) So you've been a good girl now ... (Mary brings a star sticker to Soul and his mother), so you're allowed to have a star. (Laughter) This is a reward-based system.

Mary: I don't think this it's in harmony with love.

Jesus: This is not in harmony with love. Fire away.

6. An interview with a parent, Nada, who is a mother of two men

Participant Female: My name is Nada. I want to thank Soul first of all, he triggered me straightaway, because my dad left when I was six and then when he talked about his dad that brought up how much I had shut my two boys down because of my fear and grief and all those sorts of things. But then when Karen started talking about the terror, I've had someone trigger a whole lot of that terror from my childhood recently. One night I was so convinced that someone was coming to get me, and every noise I heard I just shook, like I did when I was a child.

And, you know, my son, I spoke to him about a week after and talked to him and he said, "What's going on with you, mum, I can feel it?" And I said, "But what would have been the point of me telling you that I was in terror," because it's just what you said, if he would have come over, I would have shut it down, and I knew that I needed to feel it. But I still feel there's a lot of fear still in me. Sometimes I think I'm just afraid of everything and it just stops me from doing ...

Jesus: So with regard to your Law of Attraction with your children, do you find that they are also trying to make sure you feel better all the time? Or do you find that they're getting upset with you now?

Participant Female: Well, they're twenty-six and twenty-two now. Actually the younger one especially, he's pretty good, I talk to him and I say, "You know I'm going to be all right," and he trusts that. He's actually an amazing teacher for me, AJ. He's done some relationship things similar to me, but he seems to get through them really quickly. He doesn't linger for years.

6.1. An illustration of a son who is angry with Nada

Jesus: And what about the older one?

Participant Female: He's the one I feel most concerned about. In the past he's used drugs to shut himself down. He has been angry with me a lot, but over the last six months or so, he's been better but I miss the closeness in our relationship.

Jesus: Was it around six months ago that you started really dealing with your emotions probably, do you feel?

Participant Female: Well, around that time, I said to my younger son, "We need to stop saying that your brother's always angry." I said, "Because we're holding him, energetically, in that place." So I stopped thinking that way and I noticed he doesn't act that way, as much, it still comes up.

Jesus: Do you understand why he's angry?

Participant Female: Probably lots of reasons. Probably that I was so protective of them in many ways and that he felt a lot of my emotion as a child. No, I don't know, probably about me leaving his dad, probably about lots of things.

Jesus: The process of you forgiving that anger actually helps him a lot. So that was great that you did that. The next step really is, as you've been doing the last few months in particular, you've been owning your own emotions, so that will help him a lot too. As you do more and more of that, there's a particular emotion as you know about men that needs to be focused on and if you can focus on the emotion about men I feel, that's going to help him a lot. Because what he feels, and has felt most of his life, is this really unjust thing from you. He can never define it, but he feels like mum doesn't like men, so therefore mum doesn't like me, but it feels unfair to him. That's why he responded in an angry way, and also in a self harming way as well.

Participant Female: And he's also always taken a lot of responsibility for women in his life, over ...

Jesus: ... and over again. Yes. So you at least know what it's all about, that's the main thing. You're doing well though. You're doing very well. You get a star too.

Mary: You get one even if you aren't doing very well.

Jesus: No, No. (Laughter)

Participant Female: Is that in harmony with love?

Mary: You always get a star that's in harmony with love.

Jesus: You get a star.

6.2. Reasons for anger in children towards their parents

Jesus: With regard to children that become angry with us, how many of you have had children that are now very angry with you? One thing to bear in mind with children that are very angry with you now is that it's due to a long-term problem with you, that they've become angry.

Maybe if I could liken it this way, from an emotional perspective. It's like if myself and Mary are sitting next to one another, and I just punched Mary in the arm. Now, today she might forgive me for it. She might just go, "What did you do that for?" And we might talk about it or something. But if the next day I come along and just do the same thing, what's that going to do to her, do you feel? What's going to happen then?

Participant Female: Makes it more personal.

Jesus: Makes it more personal, she's more confused. She's also now feeling like I want to harm her, isn't she? And the truth is obviously I do, because I've punched her a second time. Now if I came along every day and did the same thing, how many days would it take, do you think before Mary is angry with me? How many you reckon, Soul? Two, you reckon. Two's about the limit, isn't it? The third day, that would be it, wouldn't it? She'd be feeling pretty angry. (Laughter) Now what's happening with our children is they're receiving a constant barrage of our own unexpressed emotions.

7. An interview with a child, Leyla, who feels she has to keep her parents happy

Participant Daughter: We were going down to my dad's house, I mean my dad's mum's house, we were going to leave, but he couldn't find his wallet. We needed to go back in and my dad decided to stay there and then he started to say things about my mum that never happened like, "My mum stole his wallet," which she didn't do and things like that.

Jesus: So that upset you quite a lot.

Participant Daughter: Yes.

Jesus: So what do you think was happening? What do you feel? What did you feel when that happened?

Participant Daughter: Well, that my dad didn't want my mother and ...

Jesus: It's okay, you're allowed to do anything you want to …

Participant Daughter: I can't remember because it was like last year.

Jesus: It was last year. What made you think about it now, though? Do you feel like you're in between mum and dad?

Participant Daughter: Yes.

Jesus: You feel like, if mummy's upset with dad, or daddy's upset with mummy, you've got to make it better?

Participant Daughter: Yes.

Jesus: Is that how you feel a lot?

Participant Daughter: Kind of.

Jesus: How does that feel?

Participant Daughter: Well, it feels like my dad doesn't want my mother.

Mary: Does that make you feel a bit sad, Leyla?

Participant Daughter: Yes.

Jesus: Does that make you feel like you're not wanted, too?

Participant Daughter: A little bit. Not by my mum that much, but by my dad.

Jesus: Okay. No worries. Now, what I want to do now is talk to your mummy. You reckon she'll come up as well?

Participant Daughter: Maybe.

8. An interview with the Leyla's mother, Cartia

Participant Mother: I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Jesus: So Leyla has put mum in the hot seat. That's what's happened here. Now the feeling Leyla has is this feeling of ... like dad doesn't want mum, that's the feeling that's coming across isn't it, Leyla? That's how you feel, that dad doesn't want mum? And you feel sad about that?

Participant Daughter: Yes.

Jesus: Okay, what Leyla is actually doing is she's reflecting back at you your emotion that your husband doesn't want you, that your ex-partner doesn't want you. That actually leads to a childhood emotion where your father doesn't want you, and that's the emotion that you're denying. Because you're denying that emotion, she is seeing it happening in her own Law of Attraction this happened between mum and dad, and she's actually reflecting it back at you. She's actually feeling the feelings you need to be feeling, and that is that you're not wanted. When you actually own those feelings of being not wanted, Leyla will stop feeling like that it's a big problem. It's interesting she remembered it from a year ago, which is a fairly long time for her to remember it. You talked about it.

Participant Mother: We talk about it.

Jesus: So how do you feel (to Cartia)? Do you feel that you're not wanted?

Participant Mother: Yes. I mean I've been looking at this for quite a while and yes, I know it's somewhere with my father, and I can't get to the core or beyond the core or something. I'm angry and I'm crying, and I'm angry and I'm crying and I'm frustrated and I'm ...

Jesus: So when you're angry, what are you angry about? Can you tell me that?

Participant Mother: This week, it was a really black space that I was in and I just hated myself so much. I was just so disgustingly putrid and I don't want to be and Leyla kept saying, the one day, "I love you mummy, I love you," and I know she says that a lot ...

Jesus: Now, can I just stop you? When Leyla is saying that to you, you're actually not wanting to feel your emotions.

Participant Mother: I know. I said that to her. And I said it's not her job to make me happy.

Jesus: That's right. You've said that to her, but the feeling coming from you to her right at the same time is, "Yes, it is her job to make you happy." This is something that all of us need to be aware of when we're parents ‒ we can say the words to a child but what they're feeling from us is far more powerful than the words that we're saying. So although you have said to her that it's not her job to make you happy, the projection of emotion coming from you is, "Please, somebody, make me happy. Please, somebody, make me happy. I'm in this terrible place, please make me happy." And the reason why you're not getting to the core of this emotion is because you still want somebody else to make you happy with it.

8.1. Self-punishment and self-blame take us further from the core emotions

Jesus: There are a few things you can do to get out of that state. One is to firstly take this emotion to God rather than feeling like someone else around you needs to make you happy. The second thing is to actually feel the terrible emptiness that you feel inside about nobody loving you.

Participant Mother: That really feels strong.

Jesus: But really fully feel it rather than wanting somebody to make you happy for it. The instant you deny that emotion, will be the instant Leyla will respond and try to make you happy. So whenever Leyla tries to make you happy, instead of telling her, "Leyla you don't have to make me happy," what you need to be saying to yourself is, "I wanted Leyla to try to make me happy." The feeling in you is that you wanted her to make you happy. Do you follow me?

Participant Mother: Yes, I do. I remember the other day particularly, and I normally say it straightaway, "I love you too," and for the first time I didn't say it back. I saw when her father and her were together, she kept saying, "I love you daddy," and he wouldn't say it, and it broke my heart. For the first time the other day, I felt the space he must have been in, because he couldn't say it, because he didn't feel it in himself, for himself, not for her and I reached that point the other day where I couldn't say it back. I really hated myself for putting her in this position, of feeling like she had to try and make me happy. And I hated myself even more.

Jesus: And that actually gets you out of the core emotion.

Participant Mother: Gets you out of it?

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Mother: What, hating yourself more?

Jesus: Yes. What you're doing now is you're entering a punishing of self-state. This applies to all of our emotional processing ‒ when you enter a punishing of self-state, you are actually getting out of the core emotion.

Participant Mother: It was interesting because I have school hour and it was Wednesday, where I'm staying with my friends, they came as well, and I was expressing to my friend how bad I felt, and it wasn't good. And then all of a sudden, I was fooling around and playing. My son just got married last weekend, and it hit me something I said to my son when he was a child, and he's never forgiven me for it, which is alright because I know he can't. It only hit me the other day that I'd said to him, "I can't cope and I'm going to put you in an orphanage because I can't cope." The other day I realised that it wasn't him that I was hating or not liking, it was in fact me, I was putting so much yuck onto him. I didn't want him growing up with a horrible mother like me.

Jesus: Yes, so at the core there was a lot of self-blame and self-hatred.

8.2. An illustration of the mother having an abusive father

Participant Mother: And I don't know whether it was that that sort of changed me. We went to our shipping container the other day, and my friends popped in, and we went through some photos to send to my dad, and it kept hitting me. The photos that did something to me the most were all the photos of him and Leyla together. And I actually wrote him a little letter about that.

Jesus: Could you see though that the reason why the photos of him and Leyla together influenced you the most is because of something in your childhood about ...

Participant Mother: Well I saw the love that was there and I didn't feel love from him, but it was those times that I actually felt the love. I wrote that to him today and I thanked him for allowing me to see that love and that my soul will carry that all my life. (Participant starts crying) There was so much abuse in our relationship, it just wasn't right. Two people don't stay together when there's so much abuse, do they? But he was the only man that I actually connected to, whether it's the Law of Attraction, co-dependent thing or what.

Jesus: But you connected to him. So you connected to a man, and he abused you.

Participant Mother: I abused him as well. I was cruel verbally to him as well. I didn't mean to be, but I couldn't cope with the drugs and alcohol, and trying to raise a child in a spiritual way, and I know he has that in him as well, through his own stuff, he was in denial, and we were just a toxic mess.

Jesus: But can you see how this is relating to your relationship with your father?

Participant Mother: I'm trying to, and I sort of can't get back there. My dad wasn't an alcoholic, he wasn't a smoker, he was a workaholic. I know I got hit a lot as a child, and I know I've been looking at it for years.

Jesus: So who did the hitting of you as a child? Was it mum or dad who hit you when you were a child?

Participant Mother: Mostly my dad. My mum could never cope with me, "So you wait till your father gets home."

Jesus: And dad got home and did the punishing.

Participant Mother: Yes, and I got punished.

Jesus: And then the rest of the time he worked too much.

Participant Mother: Yes he worked a lot.

Jesus: And so he was rarely there.

Participant Mother: Yes.

Jesus: So what's the feeling you have there? You see what's happening at the moment is you can very easily reconnect to the trigger, and the trigger is your ex-husband ‒ that's the trigger ‒ you can easily connect to that situation, but to actually take this to a core, you actually need to go even further than that, and see the relationship between what you had with your ex-husband and the relationship with what you actually have with your father. That's the area you don't want to go to just yet.

Participant Mother: I sort of I hate him. I hate that he was so angry, and as a child, I remember at this age even thinking, "I'm just so sick and tired of having to be so nice to you so you won't crack and I hate not being me and I hate being somebody else." I mean I still was a horrible kid, so you know, "Don't slam the door," so I would slam the door just for the hell of it. I would do everything just for the hell of it.

Jesus: You see this is where the source of your "I'm bad" emotions come from as well. The truth is you aren't bad.

Participant Mother: Ask my other daughter.

Jesus: The truth is you aren't bad inside. It doesn't matter who I ask. I can ask her or not ask her, it doesn't matter. You are not bad. The source of all of this problem with your self-blame comes from the fact of firstly, there was this relationship going on with dad and mum where they projected huge amounts of emotions at you and then you learned to blame yourself. Now, in fact one way that you get away from dealing with the core emotion is you blame yourself and that is not helping you actually get to the core emotion, which was this terrible feeling of being unloved by your father in particular.

Participant Mother: I feel it was both of them.

Jesus: Yes, but it's your father in particular that's defining the relationship status, the thing that's currently affecting Leyla. But there is a deep resistance in you at the moment to actually touch that emotion.

Participant Mother: I even tried in here yesterday to keep going into it and it's like I've been trying to go deeper and deeper, and I've been asking God and praying to God and any spirit guides. I mean I know things are like peeling off the onion a bit because I'm seeing it. I was to angry to speak at my son's wedding last week even when I came close to being able to say what I felt. But then I went right down after my son's wedding, just really badly and like I said, something just came up again this week that I've changed. I'm just trying to be helpful and face the truth and ...

Jesus: You're doing well with that, you're doing well with that.

Participant Mother: I've got three beautiful children and it dawned on me that I love them, having this one (pointing to Leyla) I realise it's a different one, and I kept thinking, "Why do I feel differently about the others?" And it's not them, it's me and, why don't I really love my parents when I should?

Jesus: I beg your pardon.

Participant Mother: You know and right now they're in an absolute mess and all of us kids should be there to help them and we're all running the other way.

8.2.1. Working through blockages

Mary: I just had a thought when you were talking. You've obviously taken on a lot about your parents. You feel you should love them; you should be there for them. So you know we were talking yesterday about the expectations in a family not necessarily being love?

Participant Mother: I actually can't hear a lot. I actually just feel what I think is happening and process it.

Mary: But what occurred to me when you were talking, you're saying you’re sort of really feeling blocked to go down into these emotions about your family, about your parents. You can sort of intellectually feel like, "Oh, maybe they didn't love me," but not actually feel it. So it just means that you're blocked and sometimes it helps me to look at, "Well if I do experience that emotion, what other emotion will it trigger in me?" So, for me, to feel that my parents didn't really love me, is really threatening because, for all of my life I've found it really hard to see love anywhere else in the world, I always felt it was there in my family. So to feel that there's no love in my family, then I have this whole other feeling, "There is no love in the world."

Maybe there's something there that's blocking you that you sort of, in you, know, where if you go into that emotion, there's something really deep and dark under there or maybe it's this sort of self-hate thing that you feel like, "If my parents didn't love me. I'm unlovable." So there's a real block there to just feeling the grief about the family, the parental relationships.

8.2.2. The creation of self-punishment and self-blame emotions

Participant Mother: I know that I brought this up the other week up at Eudlo, and I was so angry because I felt that I was ready to deal with it all, and I felt like I was stuck in it, though.

Mary: What you do, and I do this too, is you get really self-punishing about it. It's the same thing with your family, and you feel you're responsible, and you should be loving them, and you're ready but you're not doing it, so there's something wrong with you. Instead, if you can try and be like a parent to yourself, be quite gentle with yourself, and say, "Oh, I don't want to feel it, it must be really huge, why don't I want to feel it? What does it mean?" Because while we beat ourselves up about it, it actually just freezes us up even more.

Participant Mother: I've been trying to do those too, and I obviously what you're saying … like I said to my friend the other day, I said, "I'm getting these insights or visions of a child, and I'm getting the idea that it's this, this, this," but I said maybe there's something under the core thing.

Jesus: Can we just stop you there. Feel what you feel right now, the feeling that you have right now with regard to your parents, that you mentioned was that you feel like you're a bad daughter, and you're not looking after your parents. Now that's a really core emotion inside of you that began when your parents were young and you were a child. They actually created in you this emotion of feeling bad every time they needed help, and you don't want to give it and you felt bad, sometimes you got angry and sometimes you got sad, and sometimes you did what they wanted. So that's a really core emotion in you.

This is one of the reasons why you're not allowing yourself to feel your own emotions, because you keep blaming yourself. You think that you've ... like the words that you said, "Well my parents were good parents," but then all of the things that you're explaining to us don't sound like they were good parents.

The key is to actually say the truth, "I don't feel my parents were good parents. I feel that my parents hurt me. My father came home and punished me and I never saw him and my mother kept on yelling at me during the day to wait till my dad comes home and I lived in fear most of my days when I did something wrong, waiting for dad to come home." This is the state of your childhood.

Now, whatever the emotions are of the parents and however good they are now, that was very, very damaging emotionally to you and you need to allow yourself to acknowledge that. Because at the moment what's locking up a lot of your emotion, is you want to believe that everything is good, for everyone else, and you're the person to blame and that's just not true.

Mary: Yes, and actually there's a little girl inside of you about Leyla’s age that is a bit pushed around by this adult ‒ you ‒ because she just wants to feel sad, she wants to feel really sad about what was happening. But the adult part of you is saying, "No, it's all right," and, "No I really am bad," and "Oh, I shouldn't have done this," and, "It’s all my fault."

Participant Mother: I don't know, sometimes I felt so bad in my life I don't even know what it feels like to feel good. My son got married last weekend and something's happened that he's just got this beautiful woman in his life who's given him the freedom and trust that I could never have achieved and I thanked her so much for that. And my daughter and her husband … I just feel so stuck in myself and I'm just taking up the chair here.

Jesus: No, No. We'll stop in a second.

8.3. Self-punishment and self-blame take us further from the core emotions (continued)

Jesus: But one thing to keep in mind with all of this is that what's happening in life, is that you're blaming yourself and that's the way you get out of how you feel. The way you get out of how you feel really inside, right deep down, is you blame yourself.

This is something that many of us do. What we do to get out of an emotion is we finish up blaming ourselves as if we're the person to blame and when we do that, when we feel we're the person to blame, it helps us get out and skip out of lots and lots of different emotions. It's used as a technique to avoid causal emotion.

What's happening for yourself a lot is as soon as we start on an issue, you immediately go back into blaming yourself, every single time. There were three or four issues that you brought up today, so far, and every time I tried to focus on what the truth is, like mum and dad were to blame, you wanted to blame yourself instead.

Participant Mother: I took the blame for my siblings because ...

Jesus: I know.

Participant Mother: ... they couldn't take it, they didn't ...

Jesus: But this is ...

Participant Mother: ... as much as I got flogged, I said, "I'm not going to cry."

Jesus: But this is your addiction; this self-blame is an addiction in you. You have become so addicted to it; it now defines you. To get to causal emotion, you're going to have to stop blaming yourself, and see the truth of what actually happened. What actually happened was not your fault but you want it to be your fault, so that you do not have to feel the other emotions underneath that.

Participant Mother: I don't know how I'm going to do it though, but it makes sense.

8.3.1. Working through the self-blame addiction

Jesus: One way to do this from now on is every time you open your mouth to blame yourself, instead of doing that, pray to God at that instant. So don't open your mouth to blame yourself, but instead pray to God to say, "I know you feel I'm worthy," just say those words to God every single time you want to blame yourself. Because God actually feels you're worthy. God wants a relationship with you. So God feels you're worthy, just as worthy as I am or any other person is, to receive Her Love. Now you don't believe that at the moment, but if you can, every time you open your mouth to blame yourself, instead of saying, "Oh, it's because I did this, I did that," that is your addiction, recognise the addiction and recognise the addiction in every one of your relationships.

Participant Mother: I know it's even felt safe to have the addiction, because I know that one. I came to that the other day, it feels good because I know that.

Jesus: It's your safety place. It's your safety place and I know it sounds a bit strange and it might sound strange for some people to hear that that's your safety place, but in reality, it's a safety place of many people. They are actually addicted to feeling their self-shame because they don't want to feel some other terrible emotions. Like feeling unloved by anybody, for example, is a worse emotion. It's better if I can just punish myself, and say, "I'm to blame for nobody loving me."

Now I've been through this emotion lots and lots.

Participant Mother: I felt you have.

Jesus: I can understand how much it is to go into that self-blame place, and how tempting it is every time but if you do it, what you're doing is you're staying away from the real emotion that's going to help you grow. You need to at least at some point start recognising this is an addiction in you, you want to blame yourself so that you don't feel the other emotion other emotion, whatever the other emotion is.

Just write that down, and then ask yourself, "What is the other emotion?" The other emotion might be ‒ my mum and dad didn't love me. The other emotion might be ‒ I am unlovable and that's the emotion that you can skip over. You see if, if you're to blame for not being loved, that's easier for you to bear than just that your mum and dad didn't want to love you. It makes more sense to you, if you're to blame for it but it's actually not true. You're not to blame for it. Can you see where you need to go with that? So have a look at that. It's an addiction you have of blaming yourself.

How many of you feel, after that discussion, that you've got an addiction to blaming yourself? (AJ addresses the audience) Quite a few. I've had that, so it's a pretty common addiction. The key is to get out of that, because that addiction is stopping you from getting into the underneath emotion which feels even worse, that's why you're doing the addiction.

Participant Mother: Wow. Am I going to be like I was this week?

Jesus: No, what you will do is, when you get into the underlying emotion you might feel for two hours, and you'll come out of it feeling totally different. The problem with the addiction is it keeps you in that place for years and years and years and years and years, and then the underlying emotion, which needs to be released can't get released, and so you can never feel different. But when you feel the underlying emotion, it might only take two hours, it might take a day or two, it might not take long at all; once you've released the underlying emotion, the addiction will no longer be needed, either. You’ll just give up the addiction and also, the causal emotion will be gone, and you'll feel totally different, too, than the way you felt before.

8.4. Assimilating more Divine Truth when our soul opens to truth

Participant Mother: I just wanted to say that I found, and I don't know if anybody else finds that, every time I find I'm pondering on something, and I turn one of your DVDs on, my answer is there. This week, I got to the end of the DVDs that I had and I thought, well now where do I go? And I just didn't even want to know about any of it anymore and then I woke again up early in the morning as I do, and that's my time when I listen to them, and I went back to "Processing Emotions" and it was exactly what I ...

Jesus: ... you were going through as well.

Participant Mother: Yes, and so even though I come to all of your seminars, I still feel, for myself, and it's really wise for me to hear everything, and re-hear it because it just keeps helping.

Jesus: Every time we make changes at the soul level, what happens is our soul is now open to the truth that it wasn't open to before, and because it's now open to that truth, we now can assimilate something that we heard before, but we didn't assimilate it at the soul level. It only went in our head and it didn't go into our heart.

We'd like to thank Leyla very much for her courage in putting mummy in the hot seat. Where is she? She's playing, that's good. She's relaxing now, she's done her job. (Laughter)

Participant Mother: I couldn't believe it. I said to her this morning, "If you would like, it's your choice to come up and speak." "Oh, no,” she said, "I haven't got enough guts." And I thought, "Oh well," if that was what she felt.

Jesus: No, that was what you felt actually.

Participant Mother: Okay, but ...

Jesus: She obviously does have enough guts.

Participant: Well there's something about Neena's son, Soul, that she said, "That's what happened to me." So Soul allowed Leyla to come up. Thank you.

Jesus: There you go, another benefit for Soul. That's really nice.

Participant Mother: And Leyla also said to me the other day since you've been coming to AJ I keep getting sick.

Jesus: That's probably true, too.

Participant Mother: And I said, "Well it's like this, maybe the more that mummy can work on this stuff, and then later on I won't be sick at all." And she said to me something about how long I was going to keep going, and I asked her, "Is she okay about it?" because I just drag her along because I don't have a babysitter for her and she said, "No, no, it's fine, it's okay." I asked her the other day, "Does she see any difference?" "Yeah a little bit." (Laughter)

Jesus: That's good.

Participant Mother: Thank you very, very much.

Jesus: No worries. Thank you.

9. Addictions keep us from feeling deeper underlying emotions

Jesus: I just want to get back to that point about our addictions. We often stay in addiction emotions, which are often quite painful to stay in, but we use them as a method of getting away from an even deeper and darker emotion within ourselves. If you notice yourself doing that, start just recognising what you're doing as an addiction.

It's just the same kind of principle of an alcoholic going to alcohol, or a person who's feeling sad going to alcohol, or a person who feels they want to get away from their life to go to drugs. It's the same kind of feeling, except that instead of using alcohol, we've used this other emotional addiction. This other emotional addiction is the addiction of punishing myself, for example. I might become addicted to punishing myself, self-blame, because I don't want to feel the underlying emotion which we obviously believe is worse.

Mind you, most of the time, it's not actually worse. It's actually worse to feel the addiction for the rest of your life, than it is to actually get into the underlying emotion. It's a bit like the person who becomes a drug addict. What's worse? The underlying emotion that causes the drug addiction If you dealt with that, it might only take a week or two weeks of their emotional life to deal with that, and yet they stay a drug addict for ten years. So which in the end creates more havoc? In the end it's the addictions that often creates more havoc.

9.1. Physical illness is due to denial of emotions

Participant Male: AJ, would illness be defined in the same way? As an ongoing state within the illness?

Jesus: It can be an addiction. Illness certainly can be an addiction. It depends on what the underlying motive is. For most people, illness is actually the denial of an underlying emotion. So when I'm denying an underlying emotion, usually I will get sick, depending on what that emotion is.

But you may actually also be addicted to illness in order to get approval, in order to get love, and if that's the case, then we find ourselves getting sick over and over and over again. We need to look a lot more closely at how much we feel we're loved, because it's highly likely that we're actually feeling very unloved and we use illness as a way to get attention. There are many people that doctors nowadays sometimes call hypochondriacs. They always seem to be sick or they always seem to be worried about some kind of affliction. Well, creating an illness is an extension of that in some cases. So it can be a mixture of those two things.

Whenever I get sick, the first thing I look at is my denials. The day before yesterday I had a very sore throat, and I was saying to Mary, "Oh it's looking like a good weekend coming up. I'll probably get sick over the weekend and maybe have to cancel it or whatever." But what I did was I laid down for an hour in the morning, on Saturday morning, because I still had the sore throat Saturday morning, and I just prayed to God about what am I denying within myself here and it came very rapidly that it was to do with me not wanting to be loved, and I was denying some of those emotions that were underneath that. When I just allowed myself even just to acknowledge that, my sore throat disappeared within a few minutes after that, so yesterday I was fine with my throat. Sometimes it's just a matter of acknowledging even that this is the real state that you're in.

Participant Male: You were talking about your sore throat. I had a patient some years ago who came to me and told me that on the day before she had met an old boyfriend and one thing led to another and they wound up in bed together. As she drove home to her husband, her throat got more and more sore, every meter of the way. She knew she was going to avoid telling him about it.

9.1.1. An example of a woman who cured her hyper-thyroidism

Jesus: We had a friend recently in England who rang us up and said she got such a bad throat, that what actually happened is she had to go to hospital, and they diagnosed her with chronic ...

Mary: ... hypothyroidism, I think.

Jesus: Yes, Hypothyroidism and they told her that she'd have to be on medication for the rest of her life, because of this particular problem. While she was in hospital, getting these check-ups, she went through some pretty deep emotions, because at one stage they actually thought she had throat cancer, and so she was quite afraid. Then while she was in the hospital, she realised that it was actually that she had withheld telling her partner some things about an infidelity regarding their relationship. She had a realisation that this problem with her throat was totally caused by her not wanting to tell him the truth.

So she went straight home, and told him the truth, and he had about two weeks of emotional processing to deal with after that, which he did, because he had actually always thought that what she told him was the truth and she had told him before that it wasn't the truth, and he'd always accused her of something more going on, but she would never tell the truth.

The reason why he was so upset was because he felt that she had to be stricken with death before she told him the truth, which is probably true. What happened is, two weeks later, the same lady went back to hospital to get checked, and the so-called thyroid problem didn't exist at all. The doctors said to her, "We don't understand. We double checked all the tests the last time you were here. You definitely had this problem. We don't understand what's going on. There must be something wrong with the instruments." So they went down the track of justifying it through that method.

But the truth is that within a few weeks she created this illness just by not wanting to tell the truth and then a few weeks later, after telling the truth, the illness was completely gone. That just shows you the power that the body has to reflect the soul's denial of an emotion.

10. An interview with a parent, Brett, who has an angry son

Participant Male: I'm shaking all over inside with the fear I have about coming up here and saying this, but it's been or in my heart for quite a few months now ‒ my son, Cody, is an angry person. I know that that anger is inside me, and he's only reflecting that. The realisation that I have about that anger comes from myself, my father, and I know that without wanting to really admit it, it does come from God as well.

When I go into my side of it, there are a lot of decisions I feel that I've made in my life that haven't turned out the way I thought they would have, and in a way I've reflected on what I could do with my children, and my relationship with my wife.

After listening to AJ on the tapes over these seven months now, I know I have been very, very angry with my father all my life because I've been left out of a lot of things. He was an alcoholic up until fifteen years ago, but now he's constantly on morphine, because he has a bad back problem. So he believes that he's gotten over it, but I never felt that and I've never been able to really forgive him in my heart, even though mentally I've tried so many times, and I've been to self-development courses, and come back and explained to him how I feel about it and ask for his forgiveness.

But I'm now realising that it's not him that needs to forgive me, it's myself and also, the only way that is going to happen is by feeling it. I've been like a volcano for the last three months or so, waiting for this anger to explode and I have a fear inside of me that I don't trust how I'm going to react to that. That's one reason why it's not happening and the other one is I fear that I'm going to be judged by other people when that does happen.

I'm still shaking with fear, just having this experience of talking in front of a crowd before ‒ I've never even done that before. So it's tough with so many people.

Going back to the anger I have with my father, there's a lot that he put off to my mother and also I realise that my father wasn't a good father. I've never really acknowledged that he was a good father, always thought that he could have done a lot better ... leaving me out most times. He always promised a lot of things to me when I was a child, and I'd wait up all night in anticipation waiting for that to happen the next day. I very rarely slept those nights because I was so anxious to be able to spend some time with my father and it never happened. He always made an excuse or let me down or why it couldn't happen.

On occasions he would take me, and that brought out a lot of fear because every time he did take me he was blind drunk and we'd go out to sea in thirty-five knot winds or really bad places for a little child to be in. But he felt that that was fun; that was good. He kept reminding me that he did do that and take me places.

But I've never actually understood or acknowledged that to myself until now, until listening to Soul and the other little girl, Leyla, to really face how I feel; that's inside myself. So I thank them from the bottom of my heart about that, to be able to be opened up by a child and the strength that I have is I don't want to continue on with this anger inside me. I know that's not me. I truly know that deep down that's not who I really am and I don't want that for my kids. I've already talked to them and cried with both of my younger children about this anger and being a bad father, but I still knew that I didn't tap into that real deep anger that I have.

I always felt, and still am, very close to my mother and I always thought that I really truly loved her, but a fortnight ago I realised that I didn't love my mother like I thought I did as well. And the biggest problem with that I found or I felt from her was that she over-cloaked me all the time. I was her special son; I was her first child. Just by not being able to express how I really felt as a child I became shy. I always thought that was my personality, but now I realise that it's not.

It's what my mother actually put over me, or made me believe I was that and because I got into a lot of trouble when I was a child, I used to go and hide, and sleep in cane paddocks and they wouldn't be able to burn for hours because they would have to find me first, and were scared of where I would be. I might get burned in the cane paddock. I always was lucky that I had someone watching over me in my life that was dogs. They used to always help me or bring me home or made my parents aware of where

I was at that time. So I was very fortunate in that sort of regards, otherwise I probably wouldn't be here today.

But going back to my children, I know my son is a little bit shy and embarrassed about his dad and he's the main reason why I'm up here speaking about this and how I feel inside.

Jesus: So can I interrupt you?

Participant Male: Yes you can.

Jesus: Firstly, can you let everyone know your name because you didn't tell us?

Participant Male: My name is Brett Porter and my son, Cody.

Jesus: And Brett, where's Brett from?

Participant Male: I'm from Ingham, North Queensland.

Jesus: Brett's travelled quite a few thousand kilometres just to come here.

10.1. Being addicted to anger to feel powerful and avoid sadness

Jesus: Now, Brett, the first thing regarding your anger, the reason why you're getting into anger all the time is because there's a lot of childhood sadness that you don't want to let yourself feel, and you'd rather feel anger, than sad.

So one thing you need to do is pray to God about this issue about why you feel like anger is preferable and you'll find that there are a lot of things to do with feeling powerless if you cry.

Participant Male: Yes, I can relate to that.

Jesus: What's going to help you get through this anger yourself is to actually start seeing that you want to feel powerful, rather than feel the powerlessness of crying. So rather than choosing to be powerful, you can make a different choice, and the choice is to be powerless but you've become almost addicted to the powerful emotion. Do you know how the previous lady was addicted to the emotion of self-blame? You've become addicted to the anger. So if you can see your anger like a cigarette that you're reaching for every time that you feel sad inside of yourself. So every moment that you're angry, tell yourself this, "I am sad and I don't want to feel it."

Participant Male: I am sad and I don't want to feel it.

Jesus: Yes, because it's the choice that you're making to not feel your sadness that creates your anger. Now, your son gets angry for the same reason. He's reflecting your choice to actually not feel your sadness. You'll find when you start feeling your sadness properly, his anger will probably also subside.

Participant Male: I sort of had that feeling that that was the case; I do feel sad about a lot of things.

Jesus: Now you have actually identified in this discussion what you're sad about, but you're not letting yourself cry about it. You got pretty close there, there's a few tears that have run down but what you're going to need to do now is actually tune in to those feelings that you have, about why, and really just let it flow. Make the choice to let that emotion flow, rather than going back into a powerful state or the feeling of power.

Just for everyone, anger is your choice to feel powerful. Now, when you get angry, it is actually the indication that you are denying a deeper emotion. Ask yourself what is the underlying emotion, and allow yourself to go to the underlying emotion. If you don't go to the underlying emotion, you will keep on going to this emotion of wanting power and that emotion, wanting to feel powerful, is what causes so much damage to yourself and everyone else around you.

Participant Male: It does sort of relate to the sadness about being left out, of not being wanted, not being loved.

Jesus: Yes, you've actually also identified some sadness with your mother and your father. Your mother you felt repressed by, like you felt like you had to be a good boy all the time and then with your father, you were constantly looking for his approval and wanting time with him and everything, and he never gave it to you. There are some really, really deep core emotions about that in you that you're sad about. Allow yourself to go there. At the moment what's happening is you're not allowing yourself to go into that child-like state and actually feel that emotion.

Participant Male: I sort of felt that's been the case but not able to acknowledge it and to allow it to actually feel it.

Jesus: So the key thing right now is every time you feel angry, to acknowledge that, "I'm denying my sadness." Every single time you feel angry, that's what's happening ‒ "I'm denying my sadness." And this particular situation, whatever the external situation is that triggered your anger, is just a trigger of the sadness as well. There's something that's sad about it that you're finding sad about it and what you're doing is you're avoiding the sadness, and going into anger instead.

Participant Male: Well it's an automatic process, the anger is there as a block and I'm just going along with that, because that feels ‒ it's the normal way I've actually progressed in my life.

Jesus: That's right, yes.

Participant Male: And it's actually acknowledging that I need to use that as a tool to recognise the sadness that I have.

Jesus: Yes, so in about a month and a half's time I'll be doing a discussion on anger, and in that discussion that's one of the things I will actually be saying about anger being the choice that we make to get away from our powerless emotion. With that discussion, whether you're present or not, you can grab one of the DVDs of that discussion if you haven't dealt with the emotion by then, you'll find that that discussion will help quite a lot.

Participant Male: All right, thank you very much.

Jesus: No worries. So really this issue with sadness and anger; anger is actually the result of the fear of your sadness. Every time you get angry, you are actually afraid of feeling a deeper emotion. It's a fear of an even deeper emotion. Allow yourself to feel it. That's the key thing, allow yourself to feel it.

11. An interview with a mother, S'raya, and her son Michael

Participant Mother: I'd like to be dissected now. (Laughter) I have a major concern about my impact upon my children, particularly my son, Michael. I have been working through a lot, it still seems like it's a lot there ‒ trauma from my father. Recently I worked through issues about not being loved and feeling like I really, really so wanted to be loved and held and feeling safe and secure with men. I'm finding myself single once again, after having three fairly major relationships. So I'm really not getting this right but that's the relationship part of it.

My concern is how that's impacting my sons, feeling about being men, and also my daughters. I have four daughters; Michael has a twin sister as well, Gabby. I feel that my feelings towards men from my early damage, if you like, has had a negative impact for my daughters' relationships with the opposite sex as well. I'm trying to be strong to come up, thinking, "Oh no it's not the right time." But Michael came in and said, "I was playing outside with little Jeffrey and Jeffrey gave me a good punch in the groin." And I thought, "Oh, okay, I've got to come up here." (Laughter)

Mary: I met Michael yesterday. Michael, do you want to come up here? I'll say what I noticed yesterday and you can correct me if I'm wrong. It was really nice to meet Michael yesterday, and to talk to you and what I noticed was that because Michael can feel your sadness about men, and feel your real desire to be loved, he actually fulfils that role beautifully.

He's very sensitive to your feelings and even I noticed a difference between him and his twin sister yesterday. Michael stayed with you all through the talk, and his sister went off. He sort of expressed that maybe he didn't really want to come, but then he kind of felt your feelings, and went, "Oh but it was really good to get out of the house, mum." So I could feel this sort of desire in him to make you feel good, because he can feel how sad you feel. So that's what I got out of it. Michael, do you want to say anything about that?

Participant Son: I'm supposed to say ...

Jesus: So what do you feel when mum feels sad?

Participant Son: I feel like cheering her up. I want to care and support her with what I think is going on.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Son: I just felt, you know, she doesn't go out much, I just wanted to please her to go out, too. This is what she was listening to and I thought I would put that into my life as well.

Jesus: So in a lot of ways you're trying to make mum feel better, aren't you?

Participant Son: Yes.

Jesus: So actually mum's addiction is you making her feel better.

Participant Son: I guess.

Jesus: The reason why that's mum's addiction is she doesn't want to feel as bad as she feels when it comes to men and of course, as you were quick to recognise, it is related to your relationship with your father.

11.1. Breaking the addiction in Michael to please and look after S'raya

Jesus: Now what do we do with addictions? Well there are a few ways we can stop addictions. One way is if you're smoking, there's a method called going "cold turkey" ‒ you've heard of that ‒ which means just stop doing it and see what happens after that, and deal with it. So that's one thing you could try to do, and this is something that you'll be trying, so it's not what I'd recommend in the end anyway.

But one thing you could do is just every time you feel bad and you notice that that day Michael comes to you trying to cheer you up, you say to Michael, "Oh, you're trying to cheer me up again, that means I'm denying an emotion." And I'm denying an emotion because Michael's a male and you're denying an emotion of what you want from a male. So what you're projecting out is, "I want a hug from a male. I want a hug from a male." So Michael comes up, gives you a hug.

Participant Mother: Yes, he's been doing that a bit just lately, haven't you, sweetie?

Jesus: Yes, or, "I want to feel good from a male; I don't have any male in my life," which is the thing you mentioned right at the beginning so now Michael is going to be that male in your life for you.

Participant Mother: That doesn't seem fair.

Jesus: Well it's not actually. Now he feels good doing it, sometimes, don't you Michael?

Participant Son: Yes.

Jesus: And sometimes you don't feel that good doing it, either, do you?

Participant Son: No, sometimes it doesn't.

Jesus: Sometimes it feels a bit like a drag, doesn't it; like you need to have some of your own life.

This is the issue. When we do that as a mother towards our son, or as a father ‒ by the way many fathers do this towards their daughters as well ‒ we set up this dynamic where now he is going to have this role of looking after the woman. Now that's going to be quite damaging for him later in his life because he's going to attract a woman who needs looking after, and then he'll look after her and he'll feel that's love.

It's really important that you break this cycle now, with your own feelings. So what are you going to do?

Participant Mother: I don't know.

Jesus: You've heard it all ...

Participant Mother: I know I'm really good but I get really mixed up when it comes to me.

Jesus: Okay. As do we all. What are you going to do? What do you think is the best thing to do?

Participant Mother: Well what you suggested, is recognising when Michael's coming up and giving me a hug, to recognise that I'm going through some sadness or some kind of pain associated with feeling ...

Jesus: Can I correct you, though, because you're not going to feel it; that's the problem, that's why he's there ...

Participant Mother: But that's why he's doing it.

Jesus: He's actually coming up to give you the hug because you're not choosing to actually feel the emotion. You're projecting around to all the men around you, "Give me a hug. Rescue me," and he is the closest man around you that he comes up and rescues you.

Participant Mother: Well actually, he's the only one which I probably trust.

Jesus: Exactly. Exactly. So he does that.

Participant Mother: Yes.

Jesus: What it actually means is you're shutting down the emotion. See he won't feel like he needs to do that when you own it. Often what we do is we start feeling the emotion, so I start feeling like I've got no male in my life, so I start feeling that and I don't want to go to the core emotion, which is about my relationship with my dad. So I'm choosing to not go to the core, and as soon as I make that choice, the projection at my son is going to be, "You need to fix this for me." You're not thinking it in your head, but that's what he's feeling from you ‒ that you need to fix this for me and he will fix it for you.

Participant Mother: Yes he does, although I feel like I have been doing a fair bit of work on it, obviously not enough.

Jesus: Well no, what you're actually doing is you're feeling the effect emotions, but not the core emotion and you do want him to come and give you a hug, actually. That's one of your addictions.

Participant Mother: But that's okay, isn't it now and then?

Jesus: No, no it's not.

Participant Mother: Can't he ever give me a hug?

Jesus: No, not under these circumstances, no. Now can everyone see why? My addiction is when I get this hug, I feel better as a woman in my relationships with a man. This hug is coming from my son, and I'm feeling better as a woman because he's showing me love, and he's a male and I'm getting love from a male. The problem is that all that does is feed the addiction. It's like, if you're a drug addict, going and get your shot. That's all it does for you is actually keeps you out of the emotion. That's what it does for you.

Participant Mother: So it would be helpful to say to Michael, "Well, Michael just recognise that whenever you want to give me a hug just say, 'Mum you're just ignoring your emotion.'"

Jesus: No, see what you're doing now, you're actually putting the onus on Michael to cure your problem. That's no good. So why do you want to do that?

Participant Mother: Oh, it's just a bandage job, I guess.

Jesus: Exactly, why do you want to do that?

Participant Mother: I do, again, I guess, I don't, but I actually have been trying to get in to these emotions to do with my dad, and ...

Jesus: But let's be honest with them: you don’t want to do them. You've been trying to do it, but you're feeling inside is it's pretty scary, and I don't know if I want to do this. That's the real feeling inside of you. You feel pretty frightened about dealing with this stuff about your dad. So the first thing you need to do is acknowledge that,

"I'm really frightened about this stuff about my dad. I'm really frightened about how much this influenced my life. I'm really frightened about how ..."

Participant Mother: Yes, I'm really frightened about how it's influenced my children's lives. Because they're already grown-up women, the other three, and I have four. That's pretty heavy.

Jesus: Yes, but now you're entering into self-punishment, and you're getting out of the real core emotion again ‒ the emotion is about your dad. So can you see how easy it is just to get out of these core emotions and get straight back into the blaming emotions, straight back into them? You're doing this all the time. There's a lot of self-judgment happening. This is why many of you are feeling quite stuck in processing emotion, because what's happening is you're getting back out of the core emotion, and into these self-blame emotions, or into self-punishment emotions, or wanting the addiction satisfied, which actually keeps you away from the core emotion. So in this particular example, Michael comes to you to give a hug, if you actually say to him, "Don't give me the hug," you're actually lying to yourself because the feeling that came from you to Michael before then was to give me a hug. So you would actually be lying to yourself to say to Michael, "Don't give me a hug," because the feeling coming from you is give me a hug.

So when he comes to give you a hug, you have to acknowledge that I wanted him to give me a hug ‒ that's my Law of Attraction, see? I wanted him to give me a hug, and that's my addiction. Just admit that to yourself. I wanted this hug; that's my addiction. Why did I want him to hug me right now? What was I feeling just the instant before I wanted him to hug me? What was the feeling that I had, that I'm trying to get away from? Ask yourself that and you'll find in every case, it's a feeling about men that you were feeling, and the feeling of being unloved as a woman from a man. You actually have quite good relationships with women generally, better than you do with men.

Participant Mother: Yes.

Jesus: Okay so obviously the bigger addiction is going to be towards the male, and that's why, even though they're twins, Michael was the one responding. So every time he comes to give you a hug, acknowledge, "I wanted this hug from him." It would be wrong of me to actually say, "Don't give me a hug," because actually the feeling was I wanted him to give me one.

Then acknowledge I wanted him to give me a hug and look what was the feeling, insecure, unsafe, whatever the feeling was that you were trying to avoid. Now that's the emotion that is the core emotion that you need to let yourself get into. It will be really rapid if you see the trigger. It will be really rapid for you to see the emotion, if you can look at what's going on the instant he does what he does.

The way you can help mum, Michael, and you don't have to by the way, because that's your call, but the way you can help mum is to only hug her when you feel like she doesn't want one. (Laughter)

Mary: Sounds like hard work to think about that.

Jesus: Because whenever she wants one, actually what you're doing is coming and actually helping her addiction but I must point out; it is not Michael's responsibility to solve this problem. It is the parent's responsibility to solve this problem.

Mary: Can I point out that what Michael is learning is the way I get love from a woman is if I suppress my own desires and put theirs before mine. Then I get all these lovely feelings from the woman, and so then that must be love; if I do that for a woman, that's what loving is in a relationship, because that's what he is learning from his mum. But once you clear your emotion, it might be strange for him as well because he's got this addiction of ‒ if I make mum feel better, then I feel loved. So you're not going to be asking for him to make you feel better all the time, either, But really after that, when you're not carrying that big injury around, you will have hugs with your son, it just won't be based on this need.

Jesus: So one emotion you may feel, Michael, when mum's going through this, is you might feel like she doesn't want a hug from you anymore and you might feel unloved then, because you're so used to giving them.

If you just let yourself feel that, and work through that issue, this will impact a lot on your relationships with girls. So you don't want to keep getting girlfriends that you've got to look after the rest of your life. You don't want to do that. You want to get a girl that you've got a good relationship with and can get along together without having to look after her all the time. That will be a good relationship.

(To Participant Mother) So it's very good if you work through this issue, and you'll find Michael will work through that issue very rapidly. Remember it's about your dad, feelings of lack of safety, lack of security, not being loved from a male, and those kinds of feelings. Every time, notice your behaviour, notice his behaviour, as your Law of Attraction. Remember yesterday in our talk we said that our children's behaviour is our Law of Attraction. Not theirs so much as ours.

Participant Mother: Yes. Okay.

Jesus: Does that help any?

Participant Mother: Okay. It's a hard bit actually, just getting into and recognising that and going into the feeling with this process.

Jesus: At the moment, there is a strong desire in you to not feel the underlying emotion ‒ you're afraid. So while you're intellectually telling yourself, "I must do it. I must do it for the sake of my children. I must do it particularly for the sake of Michael. I must do it for my own self," there is a feeling inside of you of fear about doing it and if you can acknowledge those fears it will help you a lot.

In fact this is where the fear list that I mentioned earlier is very handy ‒ writing a list of all your fears about your relationships with men, not just what you're afraid of from men, but what you're afraid of not getting from men. Let yourself feel those, because underneath those are the causal emotions that you feel for your father, that need to be healed. But if you can at least acknowledge every single time he comes to support you, many times it's driven by an emotion inside of you that you want his support.

Participant Mother: Now that Michael's got in his mind to only give me a hug when he feels like I don't need it, it's still going to be a Law of Attraction, though, isn't it?

Jesus: Because of the addiction, you are going to project at Michael, "I want a hug." And then if he doesn't give it to you, there's a high likelihood that you're going to get angry in your current condition. So that's something you've got to be very careful of.

Participant Mother: So that would be another thing I need to be aware of, if I get angry with Michael.

Jesus: With Michael, then there's an issue here of you not feeling loved by a man now and it's a denial of the lower emotion like before. See if he stops doing the addiction, you might finish up getting angry with him, because you still want the addiction. What happens to a smoker when you take away his cigarettes for a day? What happens to the smoker?

Participant Mother: They get pretty angry.

Jesus: They didn't want to give up cigarettes, and you take away their cigarettes for a day. If Michael decides, "No, today I'm not going to do what mum wants from me, I'm only going to do what I feel that I want to do for mum," that's going to trigger you, quite a lot, if he decided to do that.

Participant Mother: Alright.

Jesus: If you feel anger towards Michael, that's another suggestion, "I'm just denying my own emotion here." If you just acknowledge those things, it will help you get to the underlying emotion.

Participant Mother: Thank you.

Jesus: No worries. Thanks, Michael.

12. An interview with a woman, Alison, who was in a religious cult

Participant Female: My name is Alison. Basically, the first 2 decades of my life I was in a religious cult. I got out of the cult and I spent ten years on drugs, just to escape. I couldn't deal with feeling anything. So drugs were wonderful for that. It's been about two and a half years since I've got off it, but I'm still really shut down, just after spending an entire lifetime repressed, I just don't know how to get into my feelings. It's just too scary. And I guess as I have been sitting here feeling a lot of grief over the ten years of my life that I wasted, it's literally a third of my life that I basically can't remember.

Jesus: But where you are now is that you want to do it differently.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So that's a good thing. But let's look at ... so how old are you now?

Participant Female: Thirty-two.

Jesus: Thirty-two, and you say you were in a religious cult, so that means that your parents probably brought you to that.

Participant Female: Oh, and they're still in it.

Jesus: So what's the religion?

Participant Female: Two by Twos, if you've heard of it.

Jesus: Two by Twos, it's called?

Participant Female: That's what they call it. It's so fabulous it doesn't even have a name.

Jesus: Oh, okay. Now it was a Christian type of cult?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: What was the feelings you had during it, like when you were there?

Participant Female: Oh absolute repression.

Jesus: Of every feeling inside of you.

Participant Female: Not just that, but of my personality. I couldn't be me and even now, I've never been able to show my parents who I am.

Jesus: So when you wanted to be who you are, and they shut you down, how did they shut you down?

Participant Female: Expectation. You just weren't allowed to do things.

Jesus: So if you didn't, what would you do? What would happen to you?

Participant Female: Well, it was just all guilt.

Jesus: Towards God? Or towards them?

Participant Female: Them projecting guilt onto me.

Jesus: That you're not making them happy?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: And also that you're not making God happy?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: No, so mostly it was about them being happy?

Participant Female: Yes.

12.1. Working through blockages to feeling emotions

Jesus: So with all of this guilt that's there, you feel some really deep fear now.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: So what are you afraid of? Can you tell us a bit of whatever you're afraid of?

Participant Female: Feeling feelings.

Jesus: Why are you afraid of feeling feelings? What's going to happen? What do you think will happen if you feel your feelings?

Participant Female: It's going to hurt but then having repressed my feelings for so long I don't know what's going to happen if I feel them.

Jesus: Repressing them has hurt too, hasn't it?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Okay, so this is the sort of place you're in now where you feel that repressing the hurts, feeling the hurts, it's best not to do anything.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: But something is drawing you in to doing something, isn't it?

Participant Female: Yes.

12.2. Working through anger

Mary: Do you feel a bit angry?

Participant Female: Yes.

Mary: And how do you feel about feeling your anger?

Participant Female: I couldn't allow myself to get in touch with it. I get about two centimetres below the surface, then I shut myself down.

Mary: Do you feel it's a bit scary to feel anger?

Participant Female: Yes, that and I also don't know how to.

Mary: A lot of it is probably from when you were very small. So maybe doing some things like how you would express anger when you were really small ‒ throwing things, bashing things, stamping, kicking.

Jesus: So have you got a place where you could do that?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Good. You have a bit of a bush block or something happening somewhere? Good. So what I'd do is create a little corner of that location and that's going to be your "angry place" and what you do is you get a heap of rocks and a heap of glass and a heap of other things that you can bash and make noise about and throw, and whatever and every time you get angry you just run down there and just yell and scream and throw until the anger's gone. And let yourself go even deeper than the anger after that.

So once you've done that, thrown all that stuff around, now start going into the sadness of it. So allow yourself to go into the sadness if you're expressing it. When you get into the anger, feel the anger. The problem with anger is you could stay in it the rest of your life, so you don't want to do that either. You don't want to use anger as an addiction just like you used drugs as an addiction like before. So we want to actually express the anger, because it's been suppressed. It needs to be experienced and felt.

So let yourself feel it, and let yourself go to that little place in your yard or whatever, and just let yourself experience it completely, but also ask yourself what you're afraid of every time you're angry and then write about that, when you come out of that anger. What will happen is when you write about it, you will start acknowledging and opening up parts of your soul that are holding the grief and it's quite a lot of grief to feel.

Participant Female: Oh yeah.

Mary: I feel like you'll go into it quite quickly, the fear and the anger.

Participant Female: And I might just stab my parents. (Laughter)

Jesus: Are you allowed to stab your parents? What you do is you make a cardboard cut-out of your parents and do it that way. But don't stab your parents. No. You'll get into trouble for that. You'll get into trouble with God, too. (Laughter)

Mary: But if you've got the emotion in you where you really feel like you want to stab them, to express that in a safe way, it's got to be done.

Jesus: Yes.

12.3. Working through blockages to feeling emotions (continued)

Mary: How do you feel about God, now?

Participant Female: I thought I was fine, but I realised just a little while ago that growing up in that cult, I guess I have trust issues with God because God wasn't in that supposed religion.

Jesus: You certainly will have some trust issues with God, and again you can express them to God because God can handle anything you can throw at him. So when you feel angry with God, express it directly to God. When you feel sad about God not being around for you during this cult thing, express that to God, too. Part of this is about opening up to God. You'll find that when you do open up to God, you'll be able to also express your emotions a lot more too. At the moment there's just a big fear in you ‒ the fear is that there's this huge mess inside, and you'll never get to the bottom of it.

But the truth is that you will get to the bottom of it quite rapidly when you let yourself feel the fear that you feel about it because actually what I'm feeling, and even Mary can feel it too, is you have the capacity of experiencing your emotions quite well.

Participant Female: I also have the capacity to shut myself down really well.

Jesus: Well everyone who has the capacity to experience quite well, generally also has a good capacity to shut down quite well too.

Participant Female: But that's been the problem I find, I'll start to feel it and then, bang, I can't go there.

Jesus: So when you say, "I can't go there," straightaway write about why you can't go there. Let yourself feel about why you can't go there.

I said this yesterday to everyone that this process is a lot about undoing the blockages to feelings. You actually have a very sensitive soul, and you will actually feel very well, once you start. The problem is just undoing the blockages that have been placed there by your parents and this abusive environment that you lived in. The key is just to allow yourself to keep plugging away at those blockages and seeing what the fears are.

One of those blockages is not allowing yourself to feel anger, as Mary pointed out, so allow yourself to experience the anger and you'll find you'll connect to your deep emotions, very rapidly, I feel.

12.4. The Law of Attraction is an effect of every person involved

Participant Male: Just regarding the Law of Attraction. I'm wanting to get the difference between when I see something, or when a parent sees something reflected from a child, that's the Law of Attraction of the parent reflecting what's in the parent. Now what in the situation when my Law of Attraction brings me something from an adult or from a circumstance; just an example in my own life, when I was like in my late teens, early twenties, I would go out surfing. My mother would often voice to me this fear that she had about sharks and all sorts of things. So I'm just trying to get clear if that's my Law of Attraction my mother is saying that to me, how does that relate to the child saying something to the adult in the reverse situation?

Jesus: It's always both people's Law of Attraction, obviously, but the fact that your mother is saying it to you it is her fear that she's saying it to you. If you didn't feel fear about going surfing, but she was projecting fear on you, then it's obviously just her Law of Attraction. If you don't feel the feeling she's actually reflecting to you, then it's her feelings, not yours.

Like I know in my own interactions whether it's somebody else's feelings or my own too because you'll get to a point in your progression where you've dealt with a lot of your emotions and somebody will still come to you with something and you'll not feel anything from it and so you know that it is their Law of Attraction.

Participant Male: Okay, so if I'm not feeling anything then it may have ... let's see ...

Jesus: … the feeling you may have had with your mother then, which would have been your Law of Attraction. "I have to do what my mother thinks even though she's crazy and she thinks I'm going to get eaten by a shark." That would have been the feeling you would have had.

Participant Male: So it would be to look at my feeling of annoyance or whatever about that.

Jesus: Exactly.

Participant Male: Okay.

Jesus: Obviously when I said just earlier it's not anybody's Law of Attraction, it's never half of a person's, or one person's Law of Attraction; every single thing that happens is due to the combined Law of Attraction of every single person involved.

But what we often do is we say, "Oh well if my mum was angry, that means that I was angry." No, if your mum was afraid, does that mean I was afraid? No, because you've got to feel what your emotions were in that transaction. So if your mum projects fear at you, and you got angry, then there is some emotion inside of you that you're denying at that point as well, that this Law of Attraction of your mum telling you is going to help sort it out if you let it. So in every single interaction, our Law of Attraction is that both of our Laws of Attraction operating in harmony with each other to trigger something in each one, or even to trigger some truth, or even acknowledging the truth in each one.

It doesn't necessarily have to trigger an emotion. So there might have been a truth you needed to face on this issue and that is that you don't need to do what your mum wants. But that's an emotion that you're still really dealing with in a lot of ways in your own life ‒ you're working your way through that issue having to do what the woman wants.

Participant Male: Yeah well there have been a number of things related to that where I felt like I had to do whatever my parents said.

Jesus: Yes, and so mum projects fear at you and she's afraid, you automatically felt that you'd have to stop surfing and you didn't want to stop surfing, so you get angry. Allow yourself to feel what's underneath that. There's a feeling of "I have to do what mum says." Look at that emotion underneath that. But her projecting fear doesn't mean you're afraid. So her saying to you, "I'm afraid of you getting eaten by a shark," doesn't mean that you feel afraid of getting eaten by a shark. But it will mean that there is something inside of you that transaction triggered that you do need to release.

Participant Male: Especially if I'm feeling something as a result of that.

Jesus: Especially if you're feeling something ‒ if you feel a twinge of frustration, anger, annoyance, any of those emotions, straightaway you know, "I feel something in that transaction."

Mary: I was just going to say if you were five and you were saying to your mum, "I'm afraid of sharks," then that would be her emotion but as you're older, the Law of Attraction changes.

Participant Male: Thank you.

Jesus: What we'll do now is have a break for a half an hour or so, and we'll come back.

Parenting Children S2P2

13. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan

Jesus: All right then Tristan is my son, he's my oldest son, for those of you who haven't met him, this is Tristan Miller.

Tristan: You've all met me.

Jesus: What I wanted to do is show you some of the emotions that Tristan and I have worked through together and what actually happens now, when I'm working through emotion, even though Tristan is twenty-four years of age. So we want to discuss some of those issues together and my beautiful Mary needs somewhere to sit.

What we'd like to do first is, I was going to let Tristan talk about some of the things that have happened during his childhood, from his perspective, so that you can get an idea of what kind of things he's had to work his way through. Then I'll try to look at things from my Law of Attraction perspective.

Tristan: Okay then. So my past. If you didn't already know, from when I was born until when I was eighteen I was in a religion ‒ I was Jehovah's Witness. My dad was an elder in the congregation and my mum was a pretty avid Jehovah's Witness, and our family were very respectable. A lot of my life I remember as a kid getting smacked a lot because there's a saying in the Bible to "use the rod on the child" when they're being naughty to help them learn. There's a lot of emotion about being smacked when I thought it was very unnecessary. There were times when I wanted to get some sugar out from the sugar jar and it really tested my mother's emotions, and so I got smacked at that time.

Also while in the congregation sometimes I would speak up or be what they considered naughty; far less than the kids here have been today, and I really loved seeing the kids running around and talking about this stuff because it's just been awesome. But I used to be taken out the back and then smacked, and then brought back in once the tears were gone and I remember dad being the main perpetrator of that one. There was a lot of anger and a lot of angst about the fact that I kind of couldn't express myself at all, especially when it came to God. There are some big emotions about that.

13.1. AJ and Tristan's mother splitting up

Tristan: My big emotions I felt came ... well I don't know if they came from this time, but the bigger Law of Attraction events happened when dad and mum actually split up when I was about thirteen. That was quite an interesting time, because at the time I thought it was like a bit of a game. Dad's going away on holiday, and me and my brother get presents. For the first time in our lives we were given video games, and it was hard to be upset that dad was leaving when we had a Nintendo 64 just given to us that same day, and two or three games. I didn't understand what was going on, and it wasn't until I was actually living with mum without dad there that I could understand how my life had actually changed and I didn't understand why, I didn't understand how, I was very confused.

Later on, it got to the point where it felt like I was being pulled between two parents, and also between my religion. It's not really a rule but more of a thing, where if someone is dis-fellowship or disassociated with, we shouldn't even be spending time with him. I felt under pressure and I don’t know how much pressure actually came from dad, but I felt under pressure to be spending less time with dad and talking less with dad about God and about those kinds of things. That was pretty hard because dad loved talking about God, and he loved talking about the Bible and I felt like I was basically being bad to go towards God by listening to my father about these things. It got to the point where dad would try to have deep and meaningfuls with me and my brother, and nearly everything about them I really didn't want to be around.

I'd be around dad and what he said made sense, and then I'd go home and then I felt like everything he said was a lie, and what my mum now was saying made sense. Then I would go to dad and then everything that was said there ... there was a constant back and forth, and I was so confused about what was actually the truth and what was not the truth; what was mum saying about dad, and was that the truth or what was dad saying about his stuff and what he actually had to do, was that the truth? In the end I decided that both parents were lying to me and I had decided not to trust either one about anything after that point and I still had some emotions to do with both dad and mum about trusting them and trusting what they say to me.

13.2. Cutting off his relationship with AJ

Tristan: It got to a point where I was so confused that basically I was really angry I had to go through all this stuff, and no one was helping me and Caleb was trying to get me to help him as well. We were both confused ‒ my little brother Caleb was a year and a half younger than me ‒ and we came to a decision. I felt there was pressure from the religion and my mother, and the decision was to actually cut off talking and spending time with our father. Before then we would actually go to his place and that kind of thing.

We actually called him up and told him we would no longer spend any time with him whatsoever, and that he may still call us, but we would not call him. I think that I was at the age of fifteen and my brother was the age of thirteen. At the time I felt really good about the decision because it was like cutting a problem out of my life, where I didn't have to deal with it. I could get rid of this problem, I don't have to deal with my emotions with dad and mum would be all fine, and religion would be all fine and we'd all be fine.

But then the actual phone conversation, when we did that, was the most harrowing thing, it was about three hours of conversation that we ended up having and dad started asking why and we don't really know why, we just feel it had to be done. Then dad was so distraught that he ended up travelling all the way up from where he was and also talking to us for another few hours. It was basically one of the hardest days of my life. I still have not processed through that day. I still am processing emotions about that. I still have anger towards dad that I need to go through.

13.3. Having a mental breakdown and leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses

Tristan: At seventeen, by that time, my life had gotten pretty cagey, and I felt like the religion was killing me or that I was killing me, something inside me was dying, and slowly; it hurt so much that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to turn. I spent days in a small granny flat on the computer and I was sick nearly every day and sometimes the sickness would be so scary and so painful that I thought I was dying, which is a weird thing for a seventeen year old to go through. I felt like I was mad, which was hard. I had a friend come from another state and her family stayed with us and she started to be nice to me, like that was the first time that someone outside of my religion has been nice to me.

Before then I'd been pretty much tortured emotionally by nearly everyone around me. But then I went to a new school, and I made new friends and I actually learned that people outside the religion can actually be good people. Before then I thought that everyone outside the religion was somehow pathetic and I was somehow better than them, and it really slammed my whole life, how I look at my life. I realised that at that time I started pretending to be a person to these people, so that they would like me and at the same time I was pretending to the religion and my family that I was a different kind of person so they would like me. So I was pretending to be rebellious and a little dangerous on one side, and on the other side I was a good little Christian boy who everyone respected.

Somehow, I kept that going for about 2 months before I realised that I was lying somewhere and that almost everything I was saying was a lie. It got so bad I started believing some lies and I didn't know what the truth was, and I got so confused in the end that I had a mental breakdown. The whole question of who I was just came through and I just stopped going to school, I stopped going outside of my room. I stopped doing everything. For about two months, I was in that room, and I didn't want to come out and that was pretty hard.

In the end I decided to leave the religion while still believing in it. They believed that if God does not believe you're worthy, then you will be basically dead and you will be executed by God. You would be God's poor boy basically. So I felt like leaving was basically a suicide, but I did it. I lost all my friends, all the ones I thought cared about me. I lost a large part of my family that I had spent time with and I thought loved me and I was asked also to leave the house by my mum.

13.4. Going to live with AJ

Tristan: I ended up calling dad who I hadn't talked to in three or four years and he accepted me straightaway. I spent two months at dad's processing through a lot of that stuff and at the same time though, as soon as I had made that decision just to get of the religion, I was jumping for joy, I was actually skipping and singing again and doing all the things I liked to do, and before then I was basically nothing.

I ended up living with dad in South Australia and dad organised a job for me and he looked after my expenses along with Caleb, who moved in with dad before that in South Australia. Sometimes when I did not have a job, sometimes when dad wanted to help us deal with our emotions, he gave us vast amounts of living expenses, and he gave us housing to live in and we were not grateful at all. We were using dad completely at that time, and we didn't seem to realise, we were happy because we were learning about ourselves and I was having a lot of fun because I had gotten out of the religion where you can't do anything. So I started doing as much as I could. But at the same time, even now I still have this emotion where I'm still ungrateful for some of the things that dad has given me and shown me.

A large part of my life with dad in South Australia was him paying my bills and me just not giving a crap. So right now I still feel bad about that.

13.5. Being told that AJ is Jesus

Tristan: On a side note, when dad told me he thought he was Jesus, that wasn't a big deal to me at all. A lot of people have asked me, "How do you feel about dad being Jesus?" and I go, "It's not that big a deal at all to me." It's like someone coming up to me and saying, "Hi, I'm John," and I go, "Okay, I'll trust that until you show me otherwise." So dad comes up to me, I was at Subway, and he said, "I feel like I'm Jesus," and of course all these emotions of having memories, and I'm going, "Okay. Of course until you prove it to me I can't really believe it whole-heartedly,"

It does put into light a lot of the facts that mum used to say, "Don't do that, that wouldn't be what Jesus did," or "Jesus will be watching you," or "Jesus loves you," and all those kinds of things and it's like, "Yeah, okay." And some of the things especially when dad and mum broke up, where dad took us to movies that she wouldn't want us to watch, she said, "Jesus wouldn't want you watching those movies." He took us! (Laughter) So I wouldn't be worried about dad being Jesus and the more I've dealt with my emotions the more I've actually accepted it without any "proof" as in healings and stuff like that. I go through my own stuff and I just realise that he is, and it's not a big deal other than the fact that I know that if I want some truth, the best person to turn to would be my dad.

I could always count that if I'm desiring to get into an emotion and I have an actual desire for it, that the first and best thing that I would be doing is call up dad and he'll tell me.

13.6. Moving to Queensland

Tristan: Dad decided about two years ago to come live here in Queensland, and at the time I was living in one of his houses and working for us. Because I knew that I actually wanted to start dealing with my emotions properly, I actually wanted to deal with things and talk about and desire God, so I said, "Yes I'm going to come with you." And dad was a little bit; I don't know if he was freaked out by it or not, he just thought, "Wow I didn't expect that." And so in the end the actual moving process was harsh, hard, because dad was in a different country and I had to organise it all, or I felt I had to organise it all.

There were so many times I could have cried, so many times I could have processed, the drive over to Queensland with dad in the car was the most triggering thing I've ever done in my life, and I still didn't process a bit of it. I could have gone through so much anger but I didn't. I look back on it now and just go, "That was sort of stupid of me." But in the end I got to his place, dad went off around the world on this trip and I went crazy and dealt through huge amounts of alone emotions and huge amounts of how I felt about myself. I got to a point where I went through some stuff about women; there was some anger there, and fear and I realised emotionally I should get a job, and a week later I had a job.

And that's like so weird for me, because that was the first time I actually processed emotion and had a feeling and it actually happened straightaway. I felt pretty good about that. It was pretty good. You can never underestimate when you put yourself out there to trigger your emotions, I suggest doing it as much as possible, it's the only way you're going to get to stuff that you never thought that you had.

So I got to a point where I realised I needed to move out of dad's home, that happened only a few months ago and this has been the most horrible experience in my life emotionally. I just had a full-fledged desire to connect to God and make it about me, not about me in relation to what my dad is, or what my dad's doing. I've spent days, hours a day, crying and processing and feeling and screaming and shouting, and the people that I've been staying with have really been wonderful about it. (Laughter)

Also sometimes it's triggered them, and they've gone through their stuff as well, so it's been quite good. It's been amazing. I've processed through much more stuff in the last two months than I've done in my entire life and I feel really like some days when I get out, get through an emotion, I feel amazing. I can express that as far best as I can and I have a lot of fun and people see me have a lot of fun, and that's good. I still actually do have some stuff to deal with, I've got some big self-disgust with myself to do with women, and I've got some big anger still to deal with men. So as I go through that it's been pretty good. I don't want to stop processing, even if I end up in a mental asylum.

14. AJ's perspective on his relationship with Tristan

14.1. AJ's perspective on Tristan's upbringing

Jesus: With Tristan saying all that, I'll talk about some of the Law of Attraction from my perspective. Obviously, you can see straightaway that Tristan has had quite a difficult life in some respects and one of the emotions that I've felt a lot was, once I came to a memory of all these different truths that I just now remembered, a terrible feeling of guilt about how I brought up my sons. Particularly how much I used corporal punishment as a way of controlling their behaviour, which is a big, big issue that Tristan's had to work through, and so has Caleb.

Tristan: I still feel that to get ahead in life I have to suffer.

Jesus: Yes, so, I had to work through lots of feelings of guilt and shame, the Law of Compensation type emotions you work through as a parent. Even events like when my boys phoned me, when they told me that they couldn't speak to me again; I went through some pretty big emotions there. Looking back on it now, I can see what the Law of Attraction was for myself, but I also could see at the time why they wanted to not contact me and spend any time with me anymore, there was just so much pressure on them about me, because I left the religion where if you leave the religion, basically you're condemned to death by the religion. In fact they encourage people in the religion to treat you as if you've died.

So it's like you'd walk along the street and all the people who used to be your friends would just walk straight past you and look at you, but not acknowledge you. Many would walk along and see you and go across the other side of the road and walk past you, and things like that. My own family finished up doing that with me as well. This was all happening at the same time and then of course my boys started getting lots and lots of pressure to not speak with me again to not communicate with me. I can see now in fact that I had to get into this state with my own emotions, and so that was all my Law of Attraction. It even saddens me now when I hear Tristan say that he still feels guilt about his decision to not speak with me when I see it quite strongly as my own Law of Attraction.

So there are a lot of events that occurred all the way through my own processing that I had to work my way through; in terms of how I treated my boys, the kinds of things that I did with them. The things that have hurt people more are not so much the corporal punishment issues, but the issues where it's a lot more insidious damage to my sons.

One of those pieces of insidious damage was when I taught my boys that you would always be conciliatory to a woman. So no matter what the woman does, and no matter what the woman says, and no matter how she treats you, you need to continue to be conciliatory to them and I've only recently, about a year and a half ago, probably worked through the core of those emotions. What I'm noticing now is each time I work through a core emotion, within a few days Tristan, even if he's on the opposite side of the world, works through that emotion.

What I've found is like that core emotion has taken me nearly one year, but with Tristan it takes him only a few months or less so to deal with it than it takes me. So what I'm noticing is the more I release within myself, the easier it is on Tristan in his dealing with and releasing process and the same goes with my other son, Caleb, who's not consciously choosing to actually release emotion at the moment; he is still releasing emotion as I'm dealing with emotion and so that's, in effect, happening automatically.

So there's been lots of guilt, there's lots of shame as a father to work my way through. So I can relate to many of you who feel like ashamed of yourselves as parents, and the things that you've done to your children to control them, or to keep them in what you thought was bringing them up appropriately. There were also many emotions that I taught them through my own behaviour and I think they are the, from my perspective, the most damaging to my sons.

Tristan: They've been the most hard to process.

Jesus: Yes, because you know it's quite obvious that when you smack a child, the child feels bad about that and the child feels it's wrong. It's quite different to have this insidious emotion of always wanting to please a woman and you don't really know why, inside of yourself. So I've had a lot of emotions to work through about the kind of damage I've done to my boys in causing them to act certain ways that they were unconscious of at the time.

Like Tristan's had a number of girlfriends and quite a number of them have treated him in unloving ways, but he's felt like he's deserved that because of my own example and so I've had to work through a lot of those kinds of emotions.

14.2. Positive effects of AJ and Tristan working through their emotions

Jesus: And what the beautiful thing, though between us is that as I work through an emotion, he shortly after works through the emotion in a lot shorter time, and it also brings us a lot closer together. So now we're like brothers.

Tristan: We're actually friends. I had so much fear of being around dad that I'd start talking baby talk around him, and I don't really understand why.

Jesus: So now we've got this relationship, it's more like brothers, and like I feel he's my brother, not my son, and Tristan feels like I'm his brother. So we do things together and enjoy each other's company just like brothers would. Also, because we're both passionate about dealing with emotions now, Tristan and myself both find it quite easy to work through emotions now. So that's really a beautiful blessing that's come from all the changes that we've had to work through.

Tristan: Really beautiful.

Jesus: So there have been a lot of difficulties and during the time that I was dealing with a lot of my own emotions. Obviously when you as a parent deal with your emotions, then your children are not receiving the projection. It's when you hold on to the emotion, your children are receiving the projection. And so the time that I first started dealing with my emotion was eleven or twelve years ago, and from that time on it was easier on the boys to actually make their own choices. But five or six years ago, when I really firmly started dealing with my own emotions, there were huge changes in the boys in terms of what they felt they could do, how they thought they could live their lives and so forth.

Tristan: How we felt we could express ourselves. And that we could express ourselves.

Jesus: Yes, so just my dealing with those emotions and owning everything caused major changes within my sons without them even realising what was going on at the time.

15. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan (continued)

15.1. Tristan's relationships with women

Jesus: Do you want to talk about the girls? One of Tristan's emotions is about women.

Tristan: One of them.

Jesus: Obviously, I've had some really big women issues to deal with in my life, and it's only quite recently that I've come to understand what they're all about. But as I've dealt with those, Tristan's life with his relationships has changed quite markedly as well.

Tristan: That reminds me I can tell a difference, now, as well. I just want to say first, I usually only attracted two types of women, usually there's one who is glamorous, everyone loved them, they were beautiful, everyone cared about them, that kind of thing. Then I get the second type, which is the down-to-earth girls who are still very beautiful, but not really conscious of that as much. They downplayed themselves a lot, and who felt quite bad about themselves. With both types, I'm always attracted to either of them physically, or emotionally feeling horrible about themselves, and I'm supposed to make it better. So a lot of my earlier girls that I ended up having relationships with have been me trying to fix their lives or fix what's been happening. I attracted one or two girls that had horrible home lives and I tried to fix them, which is really hard to do for a teenager.

Well I guess I could just go through the three biggest ones, the ones I felt were major parts of my life ... do you want to hear it? The first girlfriend, who was just after when I got out of Jehovah's Witness, I felt hated and unwelcome by her father. I was liked by her mother, but tolerated by her siblings. I basically felt unwelcome to be around her, and as if I'm somehow far lesser than what she deserved. She always needed me; she needed my time, my energy, my space. She needed me to go towards her, and I felt like good about that, I felt good to be needed. She felt bad about herself and how she looked and how her soul was, so I spent most of my time helping her see how good her soul was, how good she looked, and all those kinds of things.

In the end I had a hole inside myself, and I wanted to fill it up and the best way to do that was getting these emotions from a girl then seeing her grow, and thinking it's me doing it and hoping that it was me doing it. When she didn't grow then there was something wrong with me and all that kind of stuff. A year passed and I was changing emotionally, and I realised she hated me. I realised that most of my relationship with her she didn't actually like me that much at all and as her need intensified, and I stopped giving her things, it got pretty bad and, in the end, I just had to end it. So, at the same time, I remember all of the bad things about the relationship, there were good points in the relationship too. It was what you would consider an average relationship. What most people would consider average relationships.

The second girl was a bit different. She was quite smart, and I wanted to basically help her get through her emotions, because by this time I was starting to deal with mine, and I projected huge amounts of anger and need on her to deal with her stuff. Then she started … well in the end she just started arguing back because I was basically pushing her to be something she didn't want to be. In the end, it got quite interesting. So I dealt with enough emotions to realise I was trying to change her instead of being accepting of her and after that, after so much crying I ended up breaking that relationship up, too.

A third major relationship that I had, she felt pretty bad about her worth. She compared herself to me on every level and felt that I was not completely better, but that I was better than her and I deserved someone better than her. Someone that looked better than her, someone that acted better than her and I spent most of the time trying to make her feel that she does deserve me, and she does deserve this kind of relationship. In this one I actually felt I got someone who shared in my wants about emotional releasing, even though she, at the time, went through some stuff but not others. So I felt that although I was still being super Tristan, a white knight in trying to help the girl, I was doing it far less. I spent a lot of my time owning the emotion, instead of actually projecting it on her.

In the end, it went back and forth. She broke up with me quite a few times, and by the end of it I was thinking this has got to stop, I can't keep doing this, I can't keep making these choices. So I decided to go with that. Although there was one last emotion that I didn't want to go through because I felt it would end if I dealt with it, and I did. I ended up romantically disconnecting from the girl, even though we're still pretty good friends. In the end I feel pretty good about the relationship, because it got me through so much of my stuff, and I did feel like there was some sort of love even if it was not as much love as I thought.

Jesus: So you can see the pattern that Tristan had with women, and this was very much related to his Law of Attraction with his mum, is that there was a lot of wanting to please and you can see I also had an emotion of wanting to please women, so I taught Tristan a lot of these things. Then because his mum was a person who wanted to be pleased obviously that was doubled, the injuries were doubled up. So he ended up with this huge emotion of just wanting to please and be considered true to women all the time.

15.2. The benefits for Tristan of AJ working through his emotions

Jesus: When I dealt with my emotion about it, he was drawn into a relationship pretty much straight after that helped him deal with a lot of his emotions about it. So you can see that again there's this linkage, even though Tristan is twenty-four now, there's this linkage between my emotions and me dealing with my emotion and then Tristan dealing with his emotion.

Tristan: The more I want to deal with my emotions, the stronger that linkage seems to be. Like the quicker it happens, and the better it happens.

Jesus: So if I deal with something today, now that Tristan is in this space where he wants to deal with his emotions, generally within the next day or so Tristan will ring me up and say, "Oh I've been dealing with this, what's going on, what have you done recently?" (Laughter) Because a lot times exactly what I've just dealt with is exactly what he needs to connect to.

Tristan: As parents, as you're dealing through your stuff, like seriously, you don't know how much help you're giving your kids. Not only for how much pressure you take off their shoulders, but also, as you go through your stuff, when they want to go through their stuff, all they have to do is ask you and you can just tell them and they'll go, "Oh, good. Let's do that then."

Jesus: So that makes it a lot easier. It's a lot harder if the parent doesn't deal with their emotion, and the child then has to do work through theirs, which is what many of you are facing in your own life now. Your parents maybe not working through the emotion and you're having to work through yours and that's a very, very hard job.

So as a parent, one of the best ways, rather than going into your guilt about your children, one of the best ways that you can help your children, now that you know this, is to actually start processing your emotions as fast as you can possibly process it, without guilt and without judgment, without shame and those kinds of emotions. As you do that, then it helps your child straightaway, it helps no matter what age they are, it helps them straightaway.

So one thing I would work my way through, I prayed a lot to God about forgiveness and repentance about how I've treated my children. I had to work through a lot of that emotionally and as I worked through that emotionally, there have been quite big changes in my sons. Then as I've dealt with each emotion, because of the connection that's broken between myself and my sons, in terms of the co-dependent connections, they then deal with the emotions very rapidly afterwards.

So those things are a very good thing to keep in mind if you can. Are there any questions you'd like to ask Tristan?

15.3. Tristan's relationships with women (continued)

Participant Female: What was the last emotion that you had to work through with the last relationship, that was stopping you from breaking up with her?

Jesus: So what was the last emotion Tristan had to work through with a girl?

Tristan: It was actually an emotion about soulmates. I felt that my last relationship was with my soulmate, and I felt that because she's my soulmate, I must be as best as I can, go through all my stuff and everything would be better and I should stay in it as much as possible and try my hardest in this relationship. It actually came from dad ...

Jesus: It's an emotion of self-blame.

Tristan: That's the thing basically. Dad actually said to me something I would say to anyone who thinks about soulmates all the time and puts a lot of energy into it ‒ would you put up with someone treating you badly if they are not your soulmate and you knew it? Then why would you put up with someone who you feel is your soulmate and doing the same thing? So, in the end I had to actually go through a whole lot of emotion ... like, I just had to say to myself, "Well I wouldn't put up with this."

Jesus: So it's an emotion of worthiness, really that I was working through, what he believed was his soulmate, and that's very much my emotion to do with my loss of soulmate emotions that I've had all my life, that's been such a powerful influence in my life all the way through. I've had huge amounts of grief, like years and years and years of crying to do with that, those kinds of issues with my soulmate before I even met my soulmate.

So I had these huge longings for my soulmate in my life, and these huge emotions of grief associated with the loss of her, which then got projected onto my sons. So Tristan has had to deal with a lot of those projected emotions, which meant that he felt so bad about himself when it came to his relationships with women, and particularly if it was one he believed was his soulmate, that he would not actually stop a behaviour that was unloving towards himself, and that's exactly the issue I had to process as well.

16. AJ emotional experiences prior to remembering he was Jesus

Participant Female: From what I'm understanding, you were actually processing emotions before you had the realisation that you were Jesus?

Jesus: Yes. I started processing emotions for seven years before I had the realisation of who I was. So I had to release huge amounts of fear, terror, lots of traumatic experiences all related to my first century life, but I didn't understand what they were. So what happened was, when I started processing emotions, I had a lot of memories of being nailed to wood, being raped, and quite a lot of other memories associated with that, that I couldn't place because I couldn't remember the events in my current life but they were memories that had these huge amounts of emotions associated with them. During that period, I learned that I just had to process the emotion with the hope that someday in the future I would actually understand what it was about.

The first seven years of my emotional processing I had no idea what the emotions I was processing or why they were there, I couldn't understand them at all because all of them were about torture and abuse and I couldn't understand any of them. So I just allowed myself to just continue processing those emotions. As I did that, I became more open emotionally, during that period I got rid of lots of my terror and my fear, and once I got rid of quite a lot of my terror and my fear, that's when the other memories of why those original memories were there started coming to me.

So while I had some memories ... I had an event when I was two years of age where I trod on a nail and it went straight through my foot. Then I had memories when I was in my thirties, still not aware of who I am, of being nailed to a wooden plank and having a spear put through me and things like that ... things that I just couldn't place but they all had emotional content so I had to just release the emotion and I just trusted the process of releasing the emotion.

Then I had other memories of torture and other torture events that have happened in my life and then rape-based events that happened in my life and the life of my soulmate. So I dealt with a lot of those emotions before I even knew who I was and I had no idea why I was dealing with them but I just knew that every time I released one of them, I felt better, so I knew that I just had to keep going. It was a very hard time, if you can imagine. During that time also nobody would speak to me, my family wouldn't speak to me, and my boys wouldn't speak to me for nearly two years, and so it was a very difficult time.

Participant Female: Would you call that faith?

Jesus: Yes I suppose it is faith, faith that in the end everything will work out. I just knew that every emotion I dealt with I felt better, so I had to just keep dealing with these emotions that I didn't understand, but they were in me so I just had to accept they were in me no matter what they were. That's what I did, I accepted they were all in me no matter what they were, and processed through some pretty intense emotions. Just like for instance, the terror took three months. I had these fits twice a day that lasted a couple of hours each time. The only way I can liken them is they were like cramps in my entire body, I'd be curled up on the floor because I couldn't move, trying to breathe. A couple of times I actually passed out and was taken to a hospital. So that was my terror experiences, which lasted three months.

This was before I knew what I was doing; in fact I didn't know what I was doing, it just was happening. So that happened for the first six or seven years, probably six years, and then once I'd worked through lots of those emotions and the fear about my own identity, that's when I was ready to start accepting the other memories that actually told me my own identity.

It's a bit like all of your childhood is locked up inside of you; all of your memories of your childhood are locked up inside of you and when you allow yourself to feel them emotionally you'll remember them.

Tristan: At one point, the point that I want to make is that, although I wasn't there for the first bits of dad processing, seeing dad processing through when I was living with him and when I was around him, that made it much easier to get through my own stuff later on. There were a lot of times when you're getting through fear and grief and anger and, as you know you're pretty scared about what's happening to you, and how uncontrollable it is and how loud it is and what you're doing as a person. Your kids will go through their stuff later on and realise that that's what you were doing and feel a whole lot more, I suppose, faith and feel better in themselves about doing the same thing and knowing that it actually will help them as well.

Jesus: So obviously Tristan's seen a lot of changes in me during that period of time. When I left the relationship, I was in with his mother, I was physically constantly shaking like I had Parkinson's disease. So I was thirty-three years old and shaking all the time. So if you can picture that was the amount of fear that was in me, and people would always comment about, "What are you shaking for?" And I'd say, "I don't know, it's just how I am."

Tristan: I had that stage at seventeen/eighteen.

Jesus: Yes, so I was so locked up with emotion that it started coming out, once I was in this space where I was by myself, and could actually allow myself to feel it. For many of you, being in an alone space is actually a great benefit to actually dealing with your emotions, because in an alone space you don't get projections. So while I was alone for a lot of that period of time and felt quite lonely all of that time, I didn't receive any projections from people so that was a real blessing, I could actually feel my emotions.

Tristan: I know if I was there right from the start, I would have been projecting pretty harshly.

Jesus: There was one time actually when Tristan came to stay with me for a while, live with me for a while, and three months later I had to ask him to move out because he was actually trying to shut me down, particularly with my emotions. This was about four years ago I suppose ...

Tristan: Yes it was pretty late, it was about a year or so before you left to go to England, so it was about three years.

Jesus: So I invited him to come and stay because he wanted to deal with his emotions, but within three months I could feel his projections so strongly that I said to him, "We're going to have to live in separate houses." So he moved next door and then I could feel free to deal with my own emotions.

Now what I'm doing is working through dealing with my emotions no matter who is around and how much projection I get. So now I can feel into emotions quite easily no matter who is around and how much projection I have from them.

17. Audience Questions

17.1. An example of a daughter reflecting her mother's blockages about feeling rage

Participant Female: Before I came here today, I was quite angry, and I started to hit the boxing bag, and I've taken to using cardboard cubes. The last time I did it was at night time and then I came in my daughter said to me, "Do you have to do that? The whole neighbourhood hears you." And the little kid is downstairs going "What's that noise, mummy?" And then I did it today because I said okay, I won't do it at night because it keeps everyone up. I came in and she said she's not coming and she said, "Don't get angry." And I said, "I'm not angry, I've got my own stuff. I just can't help myself, but don't take it personally." So I went outside and started bashing again and in the car she said to me, "I don't know what it is, but since you started, you're always angry. Can you get rid of it? Because when you're angry the whole house vibrates with it." And I said to her, "But I'm not taking it out on you, am I?" And she said, "No, but everyone feels it." So, is that that I am taking it out on her or is she just not wanting to feel that?

Jesus: Well she's actually reflecting at you an emotion. The first time she was reflecting at you an emotion and one reason why you don't want to get into emotions and that is that you're worried about what other people will think of you and all she's doing by telling you, "Oh the people down the street are going to complain," she's just saying to you what emotion you have, "Everyone's going to think badly of me if I deal with my emotions." and that's an emotion in you, that's one of your blockages.

Today one of the blockages again that she's identified is this feeling that she's created in you, she's saying, "The whole house is vibrating with your energy." That is very true, she is spot on. The whole house is vibrating with your energy, whatever that energy is. If it's anger, then it certainly will be anger that the whole house is actually feeling. But what did you feel? You felt guilt that she's now feeling your anger even though you're trying to deal with it in another way.

So the truth is, when you actually deal with your anger and you really connect with it, she won't reflect any of those emotions to you. But right now you're still not connecting with your anger in its full rage, and she's reflecting perfectly at you every reason why you're not doing it.

Participant Female: I think I was aware and I said, "I'm not finished with this," and I said I might go away to deal with it somewhere else, and I'd like at least a week or whatever. And she said, "That's okay, I'll find a neighbour or I'll go to there." She's really getting confronting with me about it, to get me out of that.

Jesus: Exactly.

Participant Female: Anyway, we're talking about what we can do about that.

Jesus: Awesome, she's reflecting perfectly at you your blockages to experiencing your rage, and the key is to take notice of that. So you have a fear of how your neighbours will feel about you expressing it, or how other people are going to react. You also have a fear that you're actually still projecting it to your family, that's a fear you have. As she said she's not feeling it as much, but the whole house feels it, and that is very true.

Until you get in to the underlying causal, which will be the grief, the whole house will feel your anger. Once you get into the grief, and feel it … well once you get into the rage and feel it completely, the whole house won't feel it then but you'll need to step in to the grief as well underneath the rage.

17.2. AJ's experiences with connecting to God

Participant Female: My question is about your relationship with God. Was God always there as you were processing your emotions? Or was your concept of God something that you learned about from organised religion and then as you processed your emotions you discovered He was there anyway?

Jesus: What actually happened was I had a very strong, I've had a very strong desire for God all my life, even as a child. But when I was in my thirties and I left the religion, and was basically condemned by the religion, I actually felt that I ‒ at the same time ‒ I was also condemned by God, which is a similar emotion to what Tristan has had to work his way through. The next six or seven years I felt totally ashamed of any feeling that I had about God, I couldn't connect to God very well at all. So for that period of time I dealt with my emotions without connecting to God.

Participant Female: Did He connect with you?

Jesus: I'm sure He did, because as time went on I learned a lot of things through the emotional release process about God. So I had a viewpoint that God was punishing me when I left the religion but within two years I knew God wasn't punishing me. How I was taught that lesson was when my boys told me they would never speak to me again, I had lots of grief to experience and I went through three or four months of grief about that, but then after I went through all that grief, and even while I was going through it, I realised that I didn't hate my boys, I didn't want to punish my boys, I didn't feel bad towards them, I didn't feel like they were to blame. Then I related that to God, and I realised that, "Oh, even if I do something that God doesn't want me to do, God's not going to punish me for it, God still loves me." And I still felt this deep desire of love for my boys.

So it taught me a lot through the entire process ‒ most of this was done alone of course ‒ it taught me a lot about God. So during those seven years where I was working through the rape emotions, the abuse emotions, the torture emotions, I was also working through this issue about God, reconnecting if you like, with God. So for me to be ready to actually feel a lot of the emotions surrounding who I was, by that stage I'd already worked through all of these emotions about God, so I knew God was love, I knew God was going to love me through the process. So by the time I actually hit the emotions of who I was, I also had dealt with a lot of the emotions about God as well.

Participant Female: So how does God guide you now or speak with you now?

Jesus: The way God speaks to all of us is through our emotions, not through our thoughts, or through hearing. So if you're feeling that you're hearing God, you're not actually hearing God, what's happening is God is transmitting an emotion to you, and then that emotion gets translated by you, and by your filters into thoughts which you can "hear" if we can use the term "hear."

The way God's connected with me at the moment, and this is going to change soon, is by the feelings, so God is leading me through feelings and I can feel that leading occurring. I can also feel, as I talk to groups, I can feel the channelling of information flowing through, from myself, but also from being lead through this connection with God, through the people. So you'll find in the end when you become one with God, you'll feel God's Feelings and they are God's Thoughts.

The truth is that God's Thoughts are actually all feelings, and when you get into the condition where you are totally open to all feelings, and you are connecting to God and desiring God's Love all the time, you will feel God's Feelings all the time. So that's how God will communicate with you.

18. An interview with AJ's son, Tristan (continued)

18.1. Tristan's experiences with only his father working through emotions

Participant Female: In your situation you've got a parent who is supporting you, is your mum working through the same things? No? So it's okay with just one parent working through all these emotions?

Tristan: It's harder to work through an emotion about mum still, but I've gone through enough stuff where I feel the energy to be able to do that. I find that my dad's emotions are far easier to get through and take far less time. My mum's emotions, my emotions about my mum, and the co-dependency there, are harder to go through. I've still got some really horrible stuff that I need to go through and I keep getting reminded of that through dreams lately, so although my mum isn't willing to deal with her emotions yet. That's okay, that's her choice, I do feel like I've gone through enough of my stuff now to have the energy to plough through those emotions and deal with them from that side.

Even just having one parent is far better than no parents at all, because I have the confidence now to process through my stuff. If dad hadn't processed through his stuff when we started, there is a very good chance I would never have started at all and if I had started it would take far more time and far harder to get through.

The fact is dad has been very honest with me about some of the emotions he had, and I've been growing to be more honest with him with some of my emotions that I've had, and that makes it far easier. So don't underestimate your own power as a parent, even if the other parent is not there, and at the same time you're supporting them with the other stuff as well, without projecting your emotions upon them. So I've never felt that dad's projected his stuff with mum on me, making it harder to get to my stuff with mum.

18.2. Tristan's relationship with God

Participant Male: For Tristan, what's your relationship like with God now? Is that a very real reality for you emotionally, and do you have Divine Love come to you often?

Tristan: I feel like I have Divine Love coming to me often. It grew from a very small whisper of a thing to a very real tangible thing. I wake up and feel that I'm going to be at-one with God soon. I know God's there now. I know that God is in my life. I know that God loves me and those things, like even a year ago, it was never part of me, never part of my personality. I'm so "Gung ho, God" now, and yet I still don't feel like that nancy Christian boy that I was five years back. I rather feel like myself, and I still do the things I want to do, but God's still there in my life. Like especially with new friends I make, they get a bit wigged out. I'm a bit outrageous sometimes, I'm a bit happy, I get very serious emotionally and then I'm always talking about God, and never try to pressure God onto them. That's new for people, I suppose.

18.3. AJ's experiences with connecting to God (continued)

Participant Male: How's about you, AJ, like is it every moment now for you that you feel God, or is it just after you've done a bit of emotional stuff?

Jesus: In terms of when I feel God's Emotions, that's usually when I've worked on something that's just been released, so I'm still releasing emotion. So what happens is that I feel God all the time, but I know that I'm not receiving Divine Love all the time yet, and particularly I'm going through some self-loathing type emotions at the moment as well, which Tristan's obviously going through as well. So while I've got those emotions there's a blockage between God and me, so I can feel that blockage. But even if that's the case, I'm talking to God constantly through that process.

So every single moment pretty much of most days, I'm constantly communicating with God about where I'm at right now, how can I face this emotion. I may ask God to bring me Law of Attraction events so I can face it. I'm getting quite a lot of them in rapid succession occurring ‒ so much so that some days it's hard to get some sleep because of the amount of Law of Attraction events. But what I'm finding now is I'm really right down to the core now involving my own emotional processing and feel that there's sort of like this one big core emotion within me that been chipped away at lots of different levels now.

So my relationship with God though is just like God's my dad or my mum ‒ I often think of Him as either ‒ and I'm constantly talking to God all through the day, even while I'm speaking with you; I'm often feeling my feelings about God through that process.

What I've noticed in Tristan, too, if I can comment about how Tristan had been; about two years ago Tristan had a consciousness of God's existence ‒ that would be the best way to put it ‒ but not a real emotional connection with God. Then it took him a year of emotional processing nearly before he really started having really strong feelings about God, and a desire for God. Probably five or six months ago, maybe not that long ago, I started feeling a really strong passion in Tristan for God and now I know he talks to God all the time and has this pretty constant relationship going on, even though at times he feels very blocked. Because I've got that kind of relationship, I can feel his relationship no matter where he is, with God. So I've been overseas and been feeling how Tristan's doing when he's in Australia, I can feel when he's connecting with God, and when he isn't.

Participant Male: And when you're communicating, do you still find yourself saying in your head the words of what you want to say to God as well?

Jesus: What I try to do is I try to make my whole being in line with what I'm communicating with God about. So that means my thoughts, my emotions, all in that one direction. What I find is that there are some times during the day, where I can actually have feelings without the thoughts, but the majority of time still, particularly if I'm in a stuck location, which I have been on occasion over the last few weeks, what I've done then is I still try to keep my thoughts and my feelings directed in that direction, even though there's been these other pressures and the blocked emotion. Even just praying about the blockages, that's why I keep reminding everyone; keep praying about your blockages keep praying to about God showing you what's stopping you from feeling because that's been really helpful for me.

Tristan: I find that talking to God even when you feel that there isn't a God helps. Talking to God and being as honest as you can, and this applies even in relationships around you, being honest as you can, even if the honesty is, "I really hate You." Do that with God and things will ease up so much better and the relationship with God will come easier and emotions will come easier.

Jesus: So a lot of it is about being truthful with God, too. I'm constantly trying to be truthful in my life. "Yes, this is how I feel." Own up to how you're feeling on a pretty constant basis. What I find about talking about it with God is a lot easier than actually owning it up to yourself, sort of thing. It's like, when you talk about it with God, you're saying, "Yeah, thanks God I can see that that ..." just like having a conversation with God, "I can see this emotion in me now, what can I do about it?" And allow myself just to continue in this constant dialogue with God.

Then as you deal with the emotion, you'll feel God's dialog in return. So as you release the emotion, you'll feel very strong confirmation, "Yeah that was a causal emotion," or "No you're not there yet, you need to go further. These are the emotions you need to go with." Also now I'm feeling a lot more of God's Love in the sense of feeling protection, feelings of security and protection from God.

In the last few months, I know I've had people in our audience at times who have been urged by spirits to kill me, and I can feel that urging occurring, but I feel actually quite safe myself because I can feel that protection that God is giving me at the same time.

18.4. Understanding the child's Law of Attraction

Participant Female: AJ, I just need to recap in my mind, the Law of Attraction as the parent is reflected in the child, the younger the child the more the Law of Attraction is mine. As the child progresses in age, say closer to mine, say fourteen or fifteen, as they develop as a soul on their own, they're actually attracting their own Law of Attraction?

Jesus: That's true, but when you think about it, even when they're fifteen, the emotional damage they carry is the emotional damage that you've placed on them. So therefore, a lot of it is still my own Law of Attraction.

So, like for instance, sometimes Tristan will phone me and he'll say. "Oh, dad, I'm dealing with this particular emotion." The first question I ask myself is, "Have I dealt with that emotion?" I see it as a Law of Attraction event that he's contacted me, and the first question I ask myself is, "Have I dealt with that emotion?" Sometimes I haven't dealt with the emotion that he's identified for me, and so straightaway I'll try to get into that stuff to help out the situation.

So the key is anything that's coming to you is your Law of Attraction but anything the child is experiencing is your Law of Attraction but as they get older, sometimes what the child is experiencing is based on also the choices that your child has made, and obviously the child's Law of Attraction is based upon their father and mother, not just their mother.

Obviously, in Tristan's case for example, I've been able to work through a lot of my emotions about women, and I've been able to work through a lot of my soulmate based emotions, which Tristan has worked through, but there are still some issues with his mum that need to be worked though, that I can't help him with really, because they are issues with his mum.

18.5. When parents work through their emotions it makes it easier for the child to work through theirs

Participant Female: So you're helping Tristan by working through your emotions that are in his Law of Attraction; it becomes his. But it's harder for Tristan or any other child, or adult for that matter, to deal with emotion coming from the parent who actually isn't working with their emotions.

Jesus: Spot on.

Participant Female: So all of us, are children, and what we have in us is the Law of Attraction we've actually inherited from our parents.

Jesus: Spot on.

Participant Female: And take for example my parents, if they were actually dealing with their emotions, then it would be easier than for me to deal with mine?

Jesus: Yes and that applies even if they're in the spirit world.

Participant Female: Well that was my next question.

Jesus: So if your parents are in the spirit world, and they chose right now to deal with their emotions, it would make it easier for you to deal with yours.

Participant Female: Right. Well they might actually be here, I don't know, I could invite them to come to your talks and learn about the Divine Love Path and that would actually make ...

Jesus: ... your emotional processing work easier. It would. But what if they decide not to?

Participant Female: Well, then I have to do it on my own.

Jesus: So you need to ask yourself that question too. Why am I wanting my parents to do it? So you see when I'm an adult, once I hear this information, I'm tempted to say, "I would like my parents to deal with that emotion."

There is an issue there that we may finish up getting down the track of actually justifying us holding on to anger or blame with our parents, rather than actually dealing with our emotions still.

So certainly what you say is true, but don't get seduced now into waiting for your parents to deal with their emotions before you deal with yours.

Participant Female: I see that, but I also see that as a wonderful way of actually helping my parents.

Jesus: It certainly is in the spirit world.

Participant Female: Inviting them to do the Divine Love Path.

Jesus: Many of your parents have come along and listened with you and many of them of course think that this is rubbish, so they don't want to hear any more, and so they've left. But many of you have had parents with you and know you have at times, and they've dealt with their different emotions in the process. So it's a good thing to do, but don't delay your progression based on their choice.

You see the thing all of us need to come to a point of awareness about is, if I delay my progression waiting for someone else to change; this is particularly what happens with anger ‒ anger is expecting someone else to do something for you, so you're actually expecting someone else to change for you; as soon as you do that, as soon as you're in that space, you have now slowed down your own progression.

Why do that? Because in some cases, some people that have hurt you may be in the spirit world for a thousand years before they decide they want to deal with their emotion about it. Are you going to wait a thousand years? Obviously, you don't want to, do you?

No matter whether your parent wants to or not, still go into your stuff but what I'm suggesting with you, now that you know this information, if you have children, understand this beautiful linkage that occurs between parents and children that you can greatly assist them to deal with their emotions.

18.6. Children are God's children, not ours

Tristan: I've got to the point now where if dad stops, I won't, even though I'd lose his assistance. If dad stops, I would not stop processing. Also with my mum as well, I know she doesn't want to deal with her stuff, and I've got some projections sometimes whenever I am talking to her, but again, that won't stop me from me wanting to deal with mine.

Jesus: That's a fantastic place to be. When you're in that place where you will not stop this process for anybody, you are now connecting with God a lot, because you're now becoming totally reliant on your relationship with God through the rest of your life, which is exactly what should be the case, because God is your parent. Remember that's one of the principles we talked about yesterday, in "20090307 Human Relationships ‒ Parenting Children S1"; the first thing we talked about is God is your parent. So I'm not Tristan's parent. I'm just his guide, you know I had sex with his mum that created this beautiful creature ... (Laughter)

Tristan: That’s actually how it is. (Laughter)

Jesus: He has a body, that I created and a spirit body that I created, through that ...

Tristan: Good looking body, too. (Laughter)

Jesus: So he's got some good self-worth now about his body, which is better than his father ...

Tristan: It took a while.

Jesus: Yes but the soul of Tristan is, he's my brother, he's not mine. He's my Father's child, and I did a lot of damage to this person in my life.

Tristan: It's like a big brother, like the big brother program ...

Jesus: Yes, I'm his big brother (Laughter) and I did a lot of damage to my little brother in my life, which I've had to work through the Law of Compensation about, had to be repentant about, and had to work through all of my emotions about. That's why now we have the relationship that we have. If I chose not to work through those things, we wouldn't have the relationship we have and also that benefitted him and that's important to see that relationship, that's it's benefitting him now that I'm working through all of my stuff. But I did a lot of damage to him, too, and I've had to own all that. That's been my Law of Compensation, that's what I've done and I had to own that and work through that emotion, just like you will have to do with your own children.

Thank you, Tristan.

19. Audience questions

19.1. An example of a participant who is angry with her father for leaving

Participant Female: My name is Morgan, and I really want to love myself. I don't know where to begin.

Jesus: You really want to love yourself. So start there.

Participant Female: Yes. I think I’ve gotten to the causal emotional situation, but I don't know how to get into that, that feeling.

Mary: So you worked out what it is, but you're finding it hard to get into.

Participant Female: Yes.

Mary: How are you feeling right now?

Participant Female: A little scared, a bit embarrassed. I don't know.

Mary: You look great; don't worry about that.

Jesus: You’ll look good on the video. (Laughter)

Participant Female: Okay.

Mary: Do you want to tell us about what is the causal?

Participant Female: Just that I'm really, really angry with my dad leaving me, because I just feel that if he was getting abuse from my mum, then how come he wouldn't think that she would take it out on me when he left? And if he took me away, then I wouldn't have had to ... (crying)

Mary: I think you're starting to feel it.

Participant Female: Okay. (Crying with laughter)

Mary: There are a few things to feel in there about wanting your dad.

Jesus: Do you mind if I talk about it? That was really brave, by the way. Do you notice that if we admit our anger, very rapidly we can get into what is underneath the anger, so that's really good. The feeling obviously you have is that your dad could have taken you away from the abuse, an abusive situation, and he chose not to, and you feel that, "What was wrong with me? Why did you do that to me? Why did you not take me away?"

If you can allow yourself to feel that anger and rage, that's important too but it's important to also drop underneath that emotion and really feel that terrible sadness that you feel about, of self-blame about the whole issue as well. Because what will happen if you stay in the anger, is that you'll just be angry with men, angry with dad for the rest of your life.

The key is for you to now let yourself work through the emotion and how sad you are about being abused, and not having someone rescue you, and in particular not having your dad rescue you. Just allow yourself to feel that emotion. You're doing really well actually. You're just a bit embarrassed about crying, really going in and crying. But when you get this video, if you just replay that little section of you crying, that will help you reconnect with it.

It's a really big emotion for you as you've said. You've identified the core things. There's a flipside to it, and that is about what you feel about yourself about your dad leaving. So there are things you feel about dad, but the reason for the anger is there are actually things you feel about yourself, about dad leaving and not taking you with him. So that's where the core is leading.

Mary: You're going to get to those things.

Jesus: You'll get through them.

19.2. An example of a daughter mothering her mother

Participant Female: I just realised my daughter is the only child sitting here, all the others are outside having fun and being kids, and I've got Cartia here. I just realised that. I thought it was nice that she was here, then I thought, no, this is not right ...

Jesus: Is there a question?

Participant Female: Yes, why should I feel why is she not like the other kids?

Jesus: The blunt answer is your daughter is mothering you. She feels that you need to be mothered. So there's an emotion in you where you feel like you're not the mother, you can't be a mother and so she's just reflecting that emotion at you.

Participant Female: I can't be a mother?

Jesus: You feel like you don't want to be a mother, and your daughter is mothering you because of that emotion. So she's not allowed to be the child in your presence.

Participant Female: As much as I think that I want her ...

Jesus: You don't want her to be, because of that emotion inside of you, which is, "I don't want to be a mother"; you're now creating a situation where your daughter has to mother. Cartia does feel quite upset about that, but she feels there's no choice and that's why she's been angry with you, and it's understandable.

If you can let yourself feel about that emotion then. It's about you feeling like you've missed out. It's a very big strong emotion in you of feeling like you've missed out on your childhood, missed out on being a teenage girl, and an adult woman, having your own life; it feels like you don't have your own life. There are a lot of childhood emotions associated with you not feeling like you had your own life.

20. An interview with an adult daughter Anna, and her mother Karen

20.1. Discussion with Anna, who has conformed to a role to please her mother

Participant Adult Daughter: My name is Anna, and this is my mum, Karen, and I don't think she wants to be up here and I don't feel I can to talk to her about how I feel and it really hurts. (Anna starts crying) But today I was feeling angry at mum, and so I went outside, and I realised that I felt so angry at her because last night Tristan, mum and I were talking about how I have taken over the mothering role and this morning mum said something to me that made me realise that I was mothering.

I felt angry because I feel like that's the position that I had been put in as a child. When I was thirteen and I had to look after my younger sister Rachel, and I had to look after my dad. I didn't want to, but I had to, to get her love, and to be a good girl, and I feel really sad about that and it makes me feel really lost and my self-identity is just going all over the place, because I role played just to fit my mum and I just don't know who I am. I feel like

I can't be angry with mum because she feels so bad and it does feel like I'm hurting her by telling her my personal truth at the moment. I don't want to say anything else. (Laughing and crying)

Jesus: You're so wonderful. You expressed yourself so wonderfully there, and very, very clearly. Before I talk with Karen, can you see what happens to the child when the child has to take on the parenting role? Anna has felt like she's lost her sense of self-identity. She feels angry but she's not allowed to be angry. She's shut herself down in a lot of areas, and tried to be exactly what mum wants her to be, and so there are a lot of emotions in there. A very, very powerful experience actually, and you're connecting with it really causally, which is wonderful and it's very good that you could say those things, and risk her, although I doubt that your mum's going to get angry, but obviously in your heart you probably feel that's going to be the case.

Participant Adult Daughter: Yes. I've been feeling like that all day and in fact I just felt sick. Right now I feel like I really want to be sorry and tell mum that I'm sorry, and give her a hug because I don't want her to feel bad. I don't feel like I want that.

Jesus: So you don't feel like you've done it to make mum feel sorry or anything, this is just an expression of how you feel. What I'm going to do is get you to avoid giving your mum a hug, so that we can talk with mum. So that's important. What's wonderful in terms of what you do, you connect with your emotions so well, and what's wonderful is when you realise things, you act upon them fairly truthfully, right at that moment. That's a very, very powerful thing for you and you triggered quite a number of different people in the audience, which is really, really good. Because a lot of us have these emotions, where we've had to do what our parents wanted us to do in order to make everything happy and get love from them. That's a big emotion to work your way through. You're doing great.

20.2. Discussion with Karen, who withdraws to avoid emotion

Jesus: Can I talk with your mum? So what did you feel about that, Karen?

Participant Mother: I was initially scared of Anna, but I wasn't at all surprised because after something you said to me yesterday, and after Tristan was very blunt with me yesterday, I realised when we were through that I've been looking after my family since I was three years old, I had exactly the same story, and I am just realising that not only the damage I've done to her, but the damage that was done to me is exactly the same.

Jesus: So the thing that I would suggest to you is see how Anna just reacted just now, at some point you will connect to that emotion and that's the same way in the feelings that you have towards your own family. So at the moment, you're feeling like "what do I do now with this" kind of feeling.

Participant Mother: I've felt very lonely since last night and when I'm like that I want to just be by myself. I've felt today that Anna was angry with me for not wanting to be around her because I have to be by myself I feel like I have to be by myself when I am like that.

Jesus: So this is actually one of your addictions, is to be by yourself rather than feel the emotion. Like when I was a child, what I used to do, every time I had a projected emotion at me, I used to go outside, and I used to climb a television antenna, which was about sixty or seventy feet high. I used to sit right near the top of the antenna, and I used to just stay there. Sometimes I would stay there for half a day and sometimes longer and sometimes I would even stay there in the night, just to get away from the projection and just to feel sad. I would just go there.

What I realised after a while in my own progression is that was the way that I dealt with a lot of my emotion, that I just withdrew into myself and this is what you've learned to do, very well. When some emotion gets projected at you, you're just withdrawing into yourself, it's like a self-protection mechanism. So that must mean that you've had some fairly difficult emotions as a child to deal with to get into that point. When you go into that self-withdrawal it's actually preventing you from getting deeper into your emotions.

So if you can see that as a prevention rather than as a cure, it will help you a lot. What you'll be tempted to do is to actually get into depressed mode. Depression is the suppression of what's underneath and you'll be tempted to choose depression in its place. So the feelings I'm feeling from you at the moment are "Let me be by myself. Let me go into myself, into my shell and I'll just go into myself. I'm terrible. I'm so bad that nobody will ever want me. Nobody will ever understand me." And you just go right into it. So you can act it out, it's like curling right up, and holding your head. That's the feeling inside of you when you act it out. It's a very childhood feeling.

If you allow yourself to go a little deeper, you'll realise that it's actually one of the first coping mechanisms that you ever learned; how to get away from all the expectations that were placed upon you by your family and so you were right: how Anna feels with you is exactly the same as how you were treated by your family. But rather than going into this withdrawal state, eventually what you'll need to do is do what Anna is doing now. That is, have a big cry, write about it, talk to them about it, and write about it and actually have a big cry about it. Let yourself connect to how much it's hurt you in your life, rather than this withdrawing into the hurt and staying in the hurt.

Participant Mother: That makes sense, but I've taught myself to not feel for the same reason. I just have to keep trying, I suppose.

Jesus: Remember that God's here with you, trying to help you open up. Now I know you don't believe that in your heart yet, but you do know that, that God is around. He can help you through this process. So remember just earlier we were saying about talk to God about how you're really feeling inside, and start expressing it, start expressing how you really feel. Don't lock yourself down. This mechanism of locking yourself down prevents you from expression and if you're not expressing, then what happens is you're not going to be able to connect to the emotion.

So you know how you feel really shut down now, like you really want to withdraw, the best thing to do is start saying it, like even if you say it in a book, write it in a book, "I'm shutting down now. I'm withdrawing. I'm ..." Even if you write it there without anybody around. That's better than leaving all this emotion unexpressed. If you leave this emotion unexpressed, then depression will be the next result. You don't want to go into depression if you can avoid it. You just want to stay in a place where can just be open enough to connect and if you allow yourself to do that, you will connect.

You've got your beautiful girls around you who connect pretty easily, so you can see what a connection is as well, so they can help you a lot with that.

20.2.1. Being afraid of Anna's anger

Participant Mother: Anna and I are often around each other at the moment, I often wonder if that's a good thing for us.

Jesus: Well the fact is it's your Law of Attraction so it's a good thing for you. You can actually learn a lot from Anna, at the moment, because she is very, very connected to her emotions.

Participant Mother: I'm very aware of that and that she is open, but it's very scary living with her, too, I suppose I just have to feel that.

Jesus: So you start working through your fears, allow yourself to see what you're afraid of. When you see Anna having a cry, what are you afraid of?

Participant Mother: I'm just afraid of her anger. She might not even be angry, but I'm very sensitive to anything that might turn into anger. So I'm just afraid of her, whenever she's not happy, I'm really nervous around her.

Jesus: So the key now, let's say she gets angry, you feel that is your Law of Attraction, and so what do you do when people get angry?

Participant Mother: Well, just as you described, I withdraw.

Jesus: So now start doing something different from that. Start trying to stay open and start expressing yourself. If someone is getting angry with you, start expressing yourself, "I don't know if I can cope with this anger. I'm starting to shut myself down." And Mary maybe can help you with this, because that was something that was happening with you a few months or so ago, wasn't it? Shutting yourself down when somebody was angry at you?

Mary: I think in having the realisation that that's what was happening, and just talking about even that, like saying, "Oh, I just can't cope with the anger that's coming at me." Were there sometimes in your childhood when people were very angry?

Participant Mother: My father had angry outbursts, but they were never directed at me.

Mary: But you still felt them.

Participant Mother: It was never directed at me.

Mary: But that obviously scared you quite a bit, and that's why you made sure they weren't directed at you. So maybe even if you can connect with that; just start to talk about that, maybe. Even if you talk about that in writing, what you remember about that, how you felt at that time. The shutting down thing took me a while as well, but I just had to keep reminding myself, "Oh I'm shut down," and I was reminded by the person I'm living with as well; that I'm shutting down, I'm withdrawing, I'm shutting down and withdrawing. He wasn't directing anger at me, it was coming at me from other directions, and I would withdraw so much I would disconnect from myself, I wasn't even there, barely. So, and it was quite painful to get through, to go, "Okay, stay open, stay open, stay open," because it felt quite powerless, I guess.

Jesus: See every time you shut down and withdraw, you're actually shutting down from yourself. You're actually trying to get away from one of your own emotions. So when somebody's angry with you, if you shut down because they're angry with you, it's not because they're angry with you that you're shutting down. It's because when they're angry with you, you feel an emotion that you can't let yourself feel. That's why you shut yourself down. So their anger is just a trigger to the emotion that you want to shut down, and so you shut down.

So it's very important to see that every single thing that's happening external to you, it triggers you, and what you do with it is your choice. Your choice at the moment is to do exactly what you did when you were little, and that is go straightaway into shutdown and there's a temptation in you to then say it's because of Anna's anger. It's not because of Anna's anger, that you learned this response; it was because of your dad's anger that you learned this response.

So if you can just practice staying open now, and if Anna does get angry, let yourself feel, rather than closing down. The feeling you feel is hurt, so cry, rather than closing down.

Participant Mother: I think it's fear.

Jesus: Yes, but what are you afraid of? What does she do when she's angry?

Participant Mother: I'm afraid of being hurt.

Jesus: You're afraid of being hurt. Yes So, say that. "I'm afraid you're going to hurt me, Anna." And then if she's still angry at you, just feel like what it feels like to be hurt. Just feel that, let yourself feel that, right there and then. It will help you connect a lot. I feel the two of you being together is a great blessing. That's why myself and Tristan spent quite a few years together, because it's a great lesson for both of us to get through some emotions. Thanks, then. Thanks Anna too.

21. Comments from an audience member about emotions and truth

Participant Male: I don't actually have a question.

Jesus: That's all right.

Participant Male: I came to put my hand up to get up there and share a few things.

Jesus: Awesome.

Participant Male: Well I think it was Anna who was up here crying. I really connected inside with this emotion while she was doing that. While I was working through that, I was overcome with guilt; quite a few things came to me while I was in that emotion and one thing I feel strongly about now is just the truth and every moment that you spent just being totally honest with yourself. That's a good place to start with anything and now I feel a bit afraid up here.

Jesus: So what Anna was saying really connected you with some of your own truth about your own childhood?

Participant Male: Yes and while it was happening I started having memories of what those emotions were about.

Jesus: Awesome.

Participant Male: I also had a few … I'll say visions of the future and like how, it's almost as though, like at the moment we've got fires and floods and suffering, rape and things starting to happen like that, and I can't help but feel, in my heart, it's going to get worse. I just felt like saying to everyone that what better thing to do, when you've got nothing else to do, and you've got no control over anything, than just show how you feel about it. Because if the world's falling down around your knees, what else is there to do? It just felt like crying is the only thing you can do and you feel very real when you're in that, and that's what I wanted to share.

Jesus: Awesome, and I feel that actually you were given a bit of guidance there from a spirit who gave you some information. It's very, very important what you said because what often happens is that when we're in this process where our emotions are flowing, some realisations and revelations in fact come to us. One really important revelations for the future is a lot of the world events that are going to happen are going to happen just for the point of actually helping people work through their emotions.

Participant Male: It's our Law of Attraction.

Jesus: That's it, yes, and so that's spot on. Thanks. It's good that you connected too.

22. An interview with a child, Mitch, who has a violent and distant father, and his mother

Mary: What's your name?

Participant Teenage Son: Mitch.

Mary: Hey, Mitch.

Participant Teenage Son: Since I was like five or something, my dad's been an alcoholic, and has been smacking me. Since then I've had a rough bit of my life, because he doesn't spend a lot of time with me. Some kids have a good childhood with their dad, like they've played football with them a lot, but I don’t. So it really hurts. He should spend more time with me, because, like, I'm a guy, so it should be easy on him to spend some time one on one, and I don't get that.

Jesus: So you'd really like to have dad show interest in you?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: That's the feeling. So how does it feel with him not showing interest in you? Do you feel really sad, because sometimes you get depressed and down about it?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: And what do you feel when you're with mum, then too, what's the feeling you have then?

Participant Teenage Son: I feel she's had to live with that as well ...

Jesus: So live with you while being upset about what's going on there.

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: How old are you?

Participant Teenage Son: Thirteen.

Jesus: Thirteen. So what do you feel you can do about it? I suppose that's the question, isn't it? Have you given that any thought?

Participant Teenage Son: I could process my emotions and just cry about it.

Jesus: Yes, so that's one thing you could do. One thing, though, is that you would really like a male person to spend time with you, wouldn't you?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: Is that what you'd like?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: So have you thought about, there's a thing called the Law of Attraction, you've heard a bit about it? So if you exercise a really strong desire to have a male spend some time with you in your life, and just allow yourself to pray to God about that. Your dad's not doing it, and you don't know when your dad's ever going to do it, and you're pretty sad about that, so it would be a good idea to have a cry about that.

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: But then after you've had a cry about that, have a desire for some other fellow to come along and actually spend some time with you. Like someone who can do some things you'd like to do. What are the kinds of things you like to do?

Participant Teenage Son: I like sports, I like mucking around.

Jesus: Do you live down near the beach; do you live in the sunshine coast, in Brisbane?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: Sunshine Coast? Do you like the beach at Sunshine Coast?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes. Someone could teach me surfing.

Jesus: So that would be cool. So what you could do is exercise your desire and let yourself feel the desire, and what will happen is the Law of Attraction will bring you somebody who will actually fulfil that role for you. You can do that. So that's one really positive thing you can do. See at the moment there are two things you can do. One is grieve the fact that you've lost a dad, really, that he's not with you but the next thing is to exercise your desire that you actually have someone replace him for you.

Participant Teenage Son: Okay.

Jesus: And that's going to mean working through some emotions that you've got and it's also probably going to mean mum needs to work through some emotions about dad not spending time with you, too. So we can talk to mum separately about that.

Participant Teenage Son: Okay.

Jesus: They are the two things you can do and things can change really rapidly when you do that. I've seen people who were thirteen years old changing their life in one week just by doing some things like that. So when you get going, it's really powerful.

Mary: So do you reckon that's enough for you for now?

Participant Teenage Son: Yes.

Jesus: That's good. Now where's your mum? Is she here? Do you want to come up, mum?

Now you know this is related to your relationship with your father, as well. One of the reasons why Mitch hasn't attracted another man into his life right at the moment, in order to fulfil his feeling or needs that he has, is because of some of the emotions that you have towards men, which is to do with grieving about your relationship with your dad. So if you allow yourself to grieve about some of these things about men in your life, what will happen is that it will help Mitch greatly to actually use his Law of Attraction to have a guy in his life that wants to do some things with him that are fun.

Mary: So as you're sad, that will make Mitch freer to feel his sadness about his dad and once he's through some of that sadness, then his Law of Attraction will get much more powerful.

Participant Mother: Okay, Thanks.

Jesus: Thank you both, thanks Mitch. Thanks for being great. It's good.

23. Closing words

Jesus: I just want to say a few things before we stop. One is that it has just been so good hearing from so many of you today. Already many of you who haven't been able to connect to an emotion, just from seeing other people and hearing some of the things that they're feeling. You can see the power of that. It's so powerful because it helps you connect with your own emotions. So I feel it's been a pretty good day in terms of helping you work your way through some things for many of you.

I'd also like to thank our children, many of whom are not here now, but for actually being brave enough too, to come up. One thing I'd like to point out is how readily the children generally come up, and how much resistance the parents have towards coming up. Why is that, do you feel? Can you see how children can teach us so much about just being ourselves, and just being the person we are inside? And can you see how shut down we are to just being the person we are inside?

So if there's only one positive message I'd like to say, it's look really clearly at your children because that's what you're going to become like in the end. You're going to become like these spontaneous beings that are full of joy and laughter and want to be outside playing rather than being inside here, learning some intellectual things. You will get the same way; you will actually get the same way in your own progression, and to not be afraid of that. That's a beautiful space to be in and that's also the space where you're going to connect to God the most, if you desire to connect to God.

Mary: This is a learning process for all of us, an exploration. If you watch the way children learn it's through experimenting; they're not cynical; they give it a go. They don't care where the information is coming from, they're happy to be learning about things. So we can learn from them in that way.

Jesus: So if you can just keep those things in mind. I know we haven't been through a lot of the second half of the seminar outline that I gave you yesterday, but have a good look at some of those things in that outline, because what it will do is it will help you become more spontaneous, more actually acting on your desire. Bear in mind that every single thing that your child is experiencing is a result of a Law of Attraction event for you. If you can keep that in mind, you're going to find progression a lot easier through your spiritual progression towards God. And if we are a child, we'll also find that dealing with things openly and honestly like many of the children and teenagers here today have, is a very fast way to connect to your emotion. You notice how rapidly each one of the children connected to their emotion? And you'll notice as an adult how much more slowly most of the parents connected with their emotion? Did you see that contrast?

That's what you're going to become like, those children who connected with their emotion just by saying something, straight into the emotion. So that's where you're headed and I think that's a beautiful place to be. The more I get closer to that place, the better my life feels and I'm pretty sure that yours will feel the same way too.

Thank you very much for listening this afternoon. (Applause)

Resources

For more information:

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Reminder From Jesus & Mary

Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

Please remember that due to these limitations, information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

Other compilation books can be found at The Written Word (thewrittenword.ca)

Handbook

Workbook

Prayer

Humility

Law of Attraction

Parenting

Soulmates

Solomon’s Message

Positively Responding to Spirit Influence

Secrets of the Universe

What Happens When You Die

Understanding Sin

The Way including Putting It All Together and Eternal Benefits

The Truth & Purpose of Jesus’ Life

How the Human Soul Functions

Faith & Prayer

Sincerity

Sexual Attraction

Fear (Revisited)

Anger is Your Guide

Forgiveness & Repentance

Addictions

The Gift of Free Will

The Three Selves & The Façade

Deconstructing the Façade & Experiencing the Hurt Self

Ethics & Morality

What Is Your Treasure

Passionately Desiring Positive Change & Taking Personal Responsibility

Qualities of Divine Truth & Desiring Divine Truth

The Power of Your Soul and Denial of the Soul

Laws Governing Love of Others and Love of Self

Law of Desire & Law of Cause & Effect

Pseudo vs True Spirituality

Getting To Know God & The World’s Definition of God

Why We Resist God & Emotional Blockages to God

Emotional Processing

Understanding Your Emotional Self

Laws of Rapport & Spirit Communication and The ‘Sleep’ State

Emotions & The ‘Mother’ Taboo and Emotions, Truth & Families

The World’s Definition of Love

Who and What God is and The Prodigal Son

The Conscience